Extremely Low GRE Score!!!

[Branwen daughter of Llyr]

Hi slee,

I just wanted to say - kudos to you for not quitting and trying to overcome this problem. I don't have ADD, but I know some people that do, and I've had some students that were seriously learning "disabled' due to ADHD combined with dyslexia. Trying to teach them English as a second language was an uphill battle, and I really admire you for your tenacity.

The one thing I can add to some of the excellent advice you've already received on the post is this - don't just focus on the time issue. The time is a serious stress-factor, I know, but I had an ADD student that I worked with towards her matriculation exam in English (not her first language) that was really struggling, even with extra time. It turned out that her ADD was intensified because she didn't feel confident in her knowledge. We started focusing very intensely on understanding the material - improving her vocabulary, improving her reading skills, improving her understanding of grammar, and improving her listening skills. We stopped dealing with time-management strategies for the first three months of studying (and we studied a LOT), and we just slooooooooowly walked through every type of question, reading comp section, listening comprehension section, and so on. She slowly gained confidence in her knowledge and familiarity with the exam, and then we started speeding it up.

Of course, matriculation exams don't compare to the GRE - not in terms of levels tested, nor in structure. But her much deeper understanding of the language, question types, and testing strategies really payed off as she was taking the exam - she was much less stressed than in any other subject, and ended up scoring much higher than in things she didn't study slowly and carefully for.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that you'll find a way to get through this idiotic test - you sound like an extremely bright individual, with a great deal of gumption and drive.

Good Luck!!

Branwen

[slee]

"I agree- I dislike the term "disability" as well. It is a classification that ETS uses, although I never had problems with learning either. I just have anxiety and focus issues that cause problems with time sensitive test taking. Good luck with Harvard! "

What terminology would you prefer?

I don't know- maybe I'll find it in my Vocab words-

[Medievalmaniac]

Slee - I think you have a great attitude, you're obviously good at dealing with and mediating conflicts, you have a clear idea of your strengths and weaknesses, and a good sense of the absurd. I wish you all the best in your application season, and I really hope that you get into a program that recognizes your abilities.

[slee]

Hi slee,

I just wanted to say - kudos to you for not quitting and trying to overcome this problem. I don't have ADD, but I know some people that do, and I've had some students that were seriously learning "disabled' due to ADHD combined with dyslexia. Trying to teach them English as a second language was an uphill battle, and I really admire you for your tenacity.

The one thing I can add to some of the excellent advice you've already received on the post is this - don't just focus on the time issue. The time is a serious stress-factor, I know, but I had an ADD student that I worked with towards her matriculation exam in English (not her first language) that was really struggling, even with extra time. It turned out that her ADD was intensified because she didn't feel confident in her knowledge. We started focusing very intensely on understanding the material - improving her vocabulary, improving her reading skills, improving her understanding of grammar, and improving her listening skills. We stopped dealing with time-management strategies for the first three months of studying (and we studied a LOT), and we just slooooooooowly walked through every type of question, reading comp section, listening comprehension section, and so on. She slowly gained confidence in her knowledge and familiarity with the exam, and then we started speeding it up.

Of course, matriculation exams don't compare to the GRE - not in terms of levels tested, nor in structure. But her much deeper understanding of the language, question types, and testing strategies really payed off as she was taking the exam - she was much less stressed than in any other subject, and ended up scoring much higher than in things she didn't study slowly and carefully for.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that you'll find a way to get through this idiotic test - you sound like an extremely bright individual, with a great deal of gumption and drive.

Good Luck!!

Branwen

I appreciate your empathy and understanding. As it appears that Psychologist, Counselor's or teachers who work with ADD students seem to be providing the most moral support and empathy. Though at the same time, I understand how flippant of a diagnosis ADD seems to have. It carry's with it- a negative and flippant vibe that most people simply pass off as an excuse. I agree with gaining the confidence. I am actually very strong in Verbal, math I am gaining strength in more and more. The last time I took this test- instead of giving me sentence completions, antonyms, and etc- they gave me like 5 reading passages. I'm not kidding. These reading passages were rather lengthy and I was expected to read all of them answer the questions, then answer the rest of verbal section in what- 30 minutes? If they would have given me more of the other verbal section- I would have scored way above a 1000- easily. I am excellent in verbal, but was thrown off by how many reading passages I was given. I'm a writer, but I'm a slow reader. It takes time getting behind the author's thoughts and contemplating exactly what their intentions are.

Most people find that the reading portion is the easy part and they think all the other vocab stuff is hard. I find that verbal skills, vocab, and etc- are all my strengths. Ironically enough, because I felt pressed with trying to read the 5 different passages they gave me, I ran out of time on the portions I did know! Then, they gave me tons of math- more math than last time. Ironically enough I scored higher on the quantitative.

I was hoping to score at least a 700 or higher on the verbal. I flopped and did 710 total (verbal and quantitative). So now, I have to simply figure out a way to do every section and approach it with more confidence and speed.

Thanks!

Edited February 27, 2010 by slee

[slee]

Actually the word "Condition" would be a better word. It lessens the feeling that ADD is an excuse forced to be categorized under the handicap clause. I think that is why most people are dissuaded by the word "disability" and why Attention Deficit Disorder is often looked at flippantly. Most people merely recall that one kid they grew up with that bounced off the walls and had to take Ritalen as a result. They shrug it off as some one who can't sit still. Most people are angry because if they have to take the GRE without special treatment and bust their ass to get a good score, then so do those with "ADD" ought to suck it up and just "get with the program". We reflect on disabilities and often associate that word "disability" with something much more catastrophic.

In my mind before I was diagnosed- which was just this year and I am 33 years old. The word disability in my mind was synonymous to being blind, deaf, being in a wheel chair, and etc. These extreme visual images are still what many people immediately think of when they hear the word. So with that said, there are even people on this post that have reacted flippantly to ADD being considered a "disability" or a "condition" that requires accommodations in the same that one would have a wheel chair ramp for those handicapped and needing a ramp?

In other words- ADD and ADHD to most people are not disabilities although it is considered one, not just by definition standards within the ETS manual, but by definition in the Science and Medical community as well. It is more than someone simply unable to focus or distracted by noise. It appears in other forms and in my case, although I am a writer, I am actually a slow reader. Stephen King is equally an extremely slow reader and there are many well known writers that are actually. It is not a challenge for me to memorize words, on the contrary the verbal section I do extremely well. I can absorb words and lots of them (well over a 1000 or more). I have a vocab word builder on my Mac that I have been using well before taking this test (for writing and personal reasons), that is about 5,000 words or more. I am not boasting that I have memorized all of these words, but lets just say- I love new words. Now, this last GRE test oddly enough I was given hardly any verbal questions at all and was given 5 reading passages which slowed me down big time.

I mentioned this in another comment I posted, so perhaps I'm being repetitive. But, my point is- for most people reading passages come easy. They can speed read through the passage, but I get stompt. It takes me a long time to digest written material and get inside the mind of the author. Give me a ton of sentence completions, and throw the hardest antonym questions at me- and I will do well. I love words and they don't scare me. Now, being timed and having to speed read passages on insects in the rain forest or whatever other passage they give- in less than 10 minutes (5 long passages) and still reserve an extra 5 minutes to answer all of the questions, and then make time for the remaining verbal questions? By the time I got to the questions I did know, I ran out of time. I think that there is a connection between those that have ADD and how fast or slow they can read. They think fast, move fast, are always busy and do have a short tension span. Though, sit them down and compare their ability to speed read a passage to an individual who is not diagnosed with ADD- and I guarantee one can find differences in performance. If not the speed of the reading, then the ability to go back and answer the question related in the short amount of time given.

So, what word would I use instead of "disability"- so to avoid flippant or negative responses? Condition. Condition is a much better word in my opinion.

Edited February 27, 2010 by slee

[slee]

NY Times: What's a Master's Degree Worth

Something to think about.

Thank you honest friend,

I will have to sit down and read it, as I stated- I'm a slow reader. But, so far I've read this sort of thing before. It is a concern of mine. Currently- I'm working on a long form piece (book) for publication. Though, the publication is not a 100 percent guarantee. Therefore, the MFA program appeared to be a logical and smart fall back. Though, if I do get published, I may not need to even go through this GRE non-sense any more.

We shall see, we shall see----

[slee]

Slee - I think you have a great attitude, you're obviously good at dealing with and mediating conflicts, you have a clear idea of your strengths and weaknesses, and a good sense of the absurd. I wish you all the best in your application season, and I really hope that you get into a program that recognizes your abilities.

Me too! Thank you for your input and thoughts- they have all been helpful.

[slee]

NY Times: What's a Master's Degree Worth

Something to think about.

Okay- read some of the articles but not all of them. From what I gathered MA programs are very tricky. One who decides on an MA should consider how much of that money will they get back? After all, Master's degrees are not cheap. It is something to seriously consider and ponder. All I can do is keep studying, keep writing, and apply to some programs that will actually pay for it. There are MFA programs in creative writing that the fellowship actually pays for. It is still not concrete. Though, as long as I score well on the GRE then I will have the opportunity look at all my options.

We'll see--- thanks for the article.

[slee]

Hello Honest Friend,

I agree with your assessment, as I realized that I haven't worked on reading strategies that may not at all be attributed to this diagnosis or it could be? Who knows, I'm not necessarily an expert. There are tricks with the reading comprehension portions, those of which you listed. Focusing too much on ADD can be causing some sort of strange self-fulfilling prophecy. I am not ashamed to admit that this may be true and it may have hindered me. As you stated, International students is a fine example- those that do tend to score high on verbal because they worked on that specific weakness.

This is good- the purpose of my post was to narrow down what went wrong and how I can work on specific weaknesses. I feel confident that I have gathered some great suggestions and help through everyone who has responded. I will be honest and say that I arrogantly assumed that the reading portion would not be a problem for me initially. I didn't take into account prior- that I tend to read slowly and methodically. It wasn't until after the test, that I realized where I went wrong. In the case of timed test-taking my approach has to change. I forgot that the test can randomly give you more reading or more math and etc. So, now I know what I need to work on. I have narrowed down what my weakness is and I can work on it. So, I am admitting that perhaps there is some truth in what you are saying by pointing out these reading strategies that I should have worked on and not negated. I was so focused on trying to work on math and other portions of the test. I didn't realize that the reading portion would cause me to run out of time as it did.

Regarding medication for ADD, I have taken them and they don't always help. At this point my preference is to focus more on testing strategies, rather than medication which has proven ineffective for me. They may work for some people, but they are not for me.

Thanks, again- I agree there is some truth to your assessment.

[Strong Flat White]

Oh and don't take that personally or start crying. That was a baguette of sarcasm coated with a dusting of powdered sugar humor. (I'm from the UK so our humor is a bit more insensitive than you might be used to.)

I love that cop-out.  I'm from the UK [or insert location] and therefore my cultural heritage excuses me from being a jerk!  We take the piss, mate.  We take the mickey.  You just have to grow a thicker skin and lighten up, and so forth.  But the truth is, the world is full of really great humor, really relational people... and, sadly, a bunch of jerks, too.  Or, to use a commonwealth-ism, heaps of tuggers, mate, like yourself.

[slee]

I love that cop-out. I'm from the UK [or insert location] and therefore my cultural heritage excuses me from being a jerk! We take the piss, mate. We take the mickey. You just have to grow a thicker skin and lighten up, and so forth. But the truth is, the world is full of really great humor, really relational people... and, sadly, a bunch of jerks, too. Or, to use a commonwealth-ism, heaps of tuggers, mate, like yourself.

[slee]

Slee,

You say you do not want to make excuses, but again you seem to be attributing your lackluster performance on the GRE to your inability to read the reading comprehension passages quickly because of your ADD. Isn't it a bit pointless to be attributing your inability to read quickly with your ADD? I mean, if you are depressed, do you do yourself any favors waking up every morning expecting to be depressed? If you go through the GRE thinking that your ADD is going to be this huge roadblock to reading passages in a timely matter, aren't you just setting yourself up for failure?

I mean, this is partly why the "placebo effect" is so apparent in drug testing. People who think they are in pain, depressed, or whatever, commonly respond just as well to a placebo as to the real medication. If you think you are unable to read at a normal pace, then you probably ARE going to be unable to read normally. Plus, is there not medication available to ADD/ADHD patients to specifically help people concentrate?

You have to look beyond your ADD if you want to get through reading. Use a different strategy. I mean, no one says that you actually have to carefully read through the entire article before you get to start answering questions. Read only the first paragraph to get an idea of what the passage is about, read the first question, and then scan through the passage to find the answer. If you find that you are taking too long on one question, then just make an educated guess and move on. Reading comprehension only represents about 6-10 questions of the entire exam. Don't get stuck on these, run out of time, and then miss out on the parts that you actually do well in.

Everyone has their own sets of challenges when it comes to the exam. Some international students can barely speak English and walk away with high V scores because they worked on strategies that address their own inherent weaknesses. If you have trouble reading quickly, regardless of whether or not you have ADD, you need to develop a set of strategies that works for you. If that means guessing on a set of three questions for a passage so you can get to the 10-15 other non-reading comprehension questions left, then so be it.

By the way, one more thing I would like to add to your above comment. When it comes to any diagnosis, people who are diagnosed with depression or ADD or whatever- they don't have to wake up convincing themselves that they are feeling a certain way. Sometimes it is not the fault of the person that they are the way that they are- sometimes they are born with a condition. Some people are in that state automatically (good or bad) and no rational or positive self talks can talk them out of it. In other words, it's okay for people to be born with chemical imbalances and it's okay for people to be different. Having said that, I do acknowledge that I could learn to apply reading strategies to help me.

[captiv8ed]

You really do have a great attitude! You have taken all these comments so positively!

Have you looked into schools that don't require the GRE? Are there any out there for your program?

[slee]

You really do have a great attitude! You have taken all these comments so positively!

Have you looked into schools that don't require the GRE? Are there any out there for your program?

Yeah, when you are in the creative world you have to be prepared for criticism: the good, the bad, and the ugly. That's just the way things are and I've gotten extremely immune to comments. I have learned to never take things personal and that people are coming from where they are at, they simply suggest based upon their life experiences and what has worked for them. My undergrad was in film production, so I've learned to allow people to say what they have to say and accept it. Sometimes it's not easy and it gets uncomfortable, but not everyone will respond to what you write, create or whatever- well.

I have considered schools that do not require GRE scores. Matter of fact, there are a few top MFA creative writing schools that rank within the top 10 in the nation- that don't require the GRE score. But, I'm preparing myself because I believe the some of the schools back east (where I'll be moving soon) will require them. I have to be prepared because it's not enough to write well, it's all subjective anyway and some schools may look at my writing portfolio and hate my style or what I've written? Some may love it? It's just not as cut and dry the way other schools function. Such as Med school for example. You take the MCAT, score well, have a good GPA and boom- you're accepted. It's easier in some ways than artistic degrees because it then becomes about GRE scores, GPA, Portfolio/writing samples and then if they actually like your style or see potential in your writing.

So, we'll see what happens and how things turn out. I may in the end up, not actually need the darn GRE score and it was all stress that I didn't need to go through. But, I'm working my left brain muscles and it's been good for me to get back into studying like this. In film school it was all about directing and writing and other stress- but all right brain activity, so my left brain is a bit rusty. I do feel those muscles getting stronger daily-

Edited February 28, 2010 by slee

[pea-jay]

I love that cop-out.  I'm from the UK [or insert location] and therefore my cultural heritage excuses me from being a jerk!  We take the piss, mate.  We take the mickey.  You just have to grow a thicker skin and lighten up, and so forth.  But the truth is, the world is full of really great humor, really relational people... and, sadly, a bunch of jerks, too.  Or, to use a commonwealth-ism, heaps of tuggers, mate, like yourself.

British humour. It's funny when I "get it" but sometimes it goes whizzing right over my head. Reminds me of the times when I was visiting Liverpool and went out drinking with a few local folks and a pair of Scotsmen. I had a great time but after the third pint I couldnt understand a f**king thing.

[JerryLandis]

Something I find interesting about the GRE is that its computerized format, with questions worth different amounts, makes it entirely different from the standardized tests most of us grew up taking. Learning how to take the GRE was confusing for me because it went against much of the test-taking knowledge I had previously built up. Being able to read something with pencil in hand really can make a huge difference. I never read anything important without a pen or pencil in my hand to underline or make notes (which probably pisses off some people at the library). Not being able to do that is a very subtle difference that made the reading comprehension section extremely difficult for me. Reading off a screen is just much harder than reading off a piece of paper! I suspect that will cease to be a problem as younger generations of people start to take the test.

I have a question for the ADD folks out there. Do you take medication for it, and if so, do you take medication regularly, or just before you have to do certain things? Does it help?

[kismetcapitan]

Slee, I think you'll be fine; you write plenty well enough here, someone will snap you up, regardless of the GRE.

In my case, I can read about two paragraphs into a long passage before my brain literally shuts down and won't look at the passage again. If I overcome it with willpower, I burn so much energy (and yes, thinking consumes a surprisingly large number of calories) that I'm toast for the rest of the test. I've taught SAT test prep for years (although that is NOT what I'm about as a teacher, my classes work around creative interdisciplinary approaches to learning difficult subject material - teaching AP subjects to Korean middle school students, in English of course). I attribute the success of my SAT classes and students to the workarounds I've come up with for each question type, which also help people without ADHD as they all revolve around efficiency. And familiarity breeds ability - at this point, I have little difficulty reading a passage straight on.

Medications can help, if you work with the psychiatrist who will really get to know you and pay attention to your physiological reactions to various drug cocktails. For example, if you are ADHD comorbid with any anxiety disorders, jacking you up on Ritalin will focus your mind, but you'll get nothing done because your nerves will be fried as your anxiety becomes exacerbated (a smart psychiatrist who has a patient that responds to the above methylphenidate but reports jitteriness and is still getting nothing done, will add a beta blocker to calm down the sympathetic nervous system).

I find the side effects of most ADHD meds to be too much to tolerate, so I went outside the box. After reading up on some work done by Dr. Joseph Biederman@Harvard Medical School, I went with modafinil. Took a few months to find the right dosage and dose interval, and how to work my benzodiazepenes around them, but when all was said and done, it was a home run.

Oh, and when I was an undergrad, it strangely didn't occur to me that I was depressed, although I'd wake up every morning and as soon as I'd come to, realizing I wasn't in dreamland anymore, the bell jar would fall; felt like molten lead being poured into your chest. That was no fun.

It's easy to pick up a DSM-IV and start attributing every weakness you have to various disorders, and ADHD is definitely overdiagnosed, but having any disorder is a right pain in the ass.

Anyways, I'd recommend:

- find a psychiatrist certified in cognitive behavioral therapy who is willing to really personalize your medications and not just blindly prescribe meds from a pharmaceutical company's sales literature. Meet him/her as often as possible until you find a drug combination that works. Keep hourly logs describing what you feel on each one, or combination. The doctor will then be able to correlate the dosage with the medication's half-life in the bloodstream, and adjust accordingly. There was a recent paper done by a Tufts University med school professor who opined that medication dosage should factor in body weight; this is certainly intuitively true for drugs such as antibiotics, but there may or may not be validity when it comes to psychoactive medications - there's less variation in brain mass, although the number of dopamine receptors can vary between individuals. Keep in mind that dopamine agonists (more accurately, reuptake inhibitors), will start to fry your dopamine receptors; oftentimes, less is more.

- find a GRE tutor, preferably one who also has ADHD or significant experience working with ADHD students. They're out there; I'm one. Develop a personalized "toolkit" that fits the way your brain works.

If you find a set of meds that help you work (and I really recommend a CBT-certified psychiatrist, as medications are like a cup - you still have to fill it, i.e. learn how to work with, not against, your brain), roll with it. Without years to do a full neurological workup and to self-train your brain through CBT, go with what works. Even if you have nothing, this isn't the Olympics; you don't get your urine tested for nootropics after taking the GRE.

And write, write, write. None of this will matter if your writing portfolio isn't up to snuff!

[kismetcapitan]

I have a question for the ADD folks out there. Do you take medication for it, and if so, do you take medication regularly, or just before you have to do certain things? Does it help?

I do, and it does. Once in the morning when I wake up, does the trick. My particular medications works best when taken regularly. Some can be taken on an as-needed basis. Of course, there were years of CBT to work on my brain's thought processes and get rid of various hangups and other detritus picked up from a lifetime of living with ADHD, without knowing you have it. Medications don't help unless you make them help, if that makes any sense. Theoretically, CBT alone, or massive self-discipline, can also mask the symptoms (or characteristics of the condition), but a double amputee can also learn to move around without a wheelchair or prosthetics.

[slee]

Something I find interesting about the GRE is that its computerized format, with questions worth different amounts, makes it entirely different from the standardized tests most of us grew up taking. Learning how to take the GRE was confusing for me because it went against much of the test-taking knowledge I had previously built up. Being able to read something with pencil in hand really can make a huge difference. I never read anything important without a pen or pencil in my hand to underline or make notes (which probably pisses off some people at the library). Not being able to do that is a very subtle difference that made the reading comprehension section extremely difficult for me. Reading off a screen is just much harder than reading off a piece of paper! I suspect that will cease to be a problem as younger generations of people start to take the test.

I have a question for the ADD folks out there. Do you take medication for it, and if so, do you take medication regularly, or just before you have to do certain things? Does it help?

That is exactly the same problem I had too. I didn't expect it would be such a long and painfully annoying process. My brain starts to get overloaded with having to stare at the screen and these passages are advanced reading- which is fine. However, the questions are pretty tricky. I did go over some of the methods on how to read and answer quickly. Yet, I still found having to scan the reading was not as easy to do. For example, some of the answers are inferred. Meaning- the answer is not right there in black and white. You have to read the entire thing in order to get the inferred answer. So, scanning and trying to fish for the answer often takes longer than actually reading the entire passage and then answering the questions. Most, if not all of the questions can not be found by simply glancing at the passage. Especially if you are asked what ought to be the title of the passage; you would have to read the entire thing in order for you to know what that title should be. Also, there are questions relating to using analogies to that of the passage. They will use a different example altogether to parallel that to the actual passage. You then choose which analogy is saying exactly the same thing as the actual author's intent. This takes time. This takes reading the passage completely and thoroughly understanding it and doing all of this in under a minute or so, otherwise you run out of time. If the section is 30 minutes and there are 28 questions, you only have about 1 minute per question. So this means you have to read the entire passage in 10 seconds and allow yourself the remaining 50 seconds-2 minutes to begin answering the questions. Reading a passage and comprehending it in 10 seconds is a little bit of a challenge for me. I find it to be unrealistic to expect everyone to be able to do it. Regardless of ADD or not- give that task to ANYONE and it is a challenge. It's tough- I guess all I can do is time myself and try to get this done as best as possible and as quickly as possible.

Edited February 28, 2010 by slee

[JerryLandis]

My approach was to allow myself less time on the other verbal questions, and to devote more time to the reading comprehension. I did not scan the passages, but read them thoroughly. I think it's important to do that because each passage comes with multiple questions, so if you don't really understand the passage, you risk getting 3 questions wrong instead of just 1. I've always hated standardized test questions that are given in a group and all related to one passage or diagram. Give me individual questions for crap's sake! With the reading comprehension, it drives me crazy how it's always about some random planet or sea sponge. Maybe if I take the test enough times I'll get a history-based reading comprehension section and kick ass.

[DrFaustus666]

That is exactly the same problem I had too. I didn't expect it would be such a long and painfully annoying process. My brain starts to get overloaded with having to stare at the screen and these passages are advanced reading- which is fine. However, the questions are pretty tricky. I did go over some of the methods on how to read and answer quickly. Yet, I still found having to scan the reading was not as easy to do. For example, some of the answers are inferred. Meaning- the answer is not right there in black and white. You have to read the entire thing in order to get the inferred answer. So, scanning and trying to fish for the answer often takes longer than actually reading the entire passage and then answering the questions. Most, if not all of the questions can not be found by simply glancing at the passage. Especially if you are asked what ought to be the title of the passage; you would have to read the entire thing in order for you to know what that title should be. Also, there are questions relating to using analogies to that of the passage. They will use a different example altogether to parallel that to the actual passage. You then choose which analogy is saying exactly the same thing as the actual author's intent. This takes time. This takes reading the passage completely and thoroughly understanding it and doing all of this in under a minute or so, otherwise you run out of time. If the section is 30 minutes and there are 28 questions, you only have about 1 minute per question. So this means you have to read the entire passage in 10 seconds and allow yourself the remaining 50 seconds-2 minutes to begin answering the questions. Reading a passage and comprehending it in 10 seconds is a little bit of a challenge for me. I find it to be unrealistic to expect everyone to be able to do it. Regardless of ADD or not- give that task to ANYONE and it is a challenge. It's tough- I guess all I can do is time myself and try to get this done as best as possible and as quickly as possible.

Hi Slee,

Others have said this, and I'd like to add myself to the roster of those who've said it already:

You have an amazingly good attitude and optimistic approach ... and I think you'll end up getting into a good program somehow, by hook or by crook ... just because you're so dedicated, so humble (in a good way!), and so determined.

Again, all the best of luck to you --- you deserve it !

John

[minnares]

Hi Slee,

I'd like to echo the comments of several posters above who have pointed out what a fantastic outlook you have and also how well you demonstrate your writing ability here. My oldest son, who is 17, was diagnosed with ADHD, PDD-NOS (which is on the autism spectrum), and a language processing disorder at the age of 8. So I've been following this thread and reading the many of the comments with a combination of and . I've watched my son struggle to achieve average grades all his life. What will happen is he turns in all of his homework and papers and receives full marks, which is fantastic, but then the tests are weighted more heavily and he'll get Cs, Ds, and Fs. So his overall GPA is dragged down. In many US states, as you might know, alternately abled students can have an IEP (individual education plan), which is covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). One of the accomodations allowed under the IEP is additional time for tests. Many here might recall the little addendum read by instructors at the end of a syllabus in every class we took in college about students who need additional assistance. This coverage carries over into university, as well. Needing extra time on tests is not a crutch, nor is it an excuse. Having a brain that is, as you've aptly put it, wired differently isn't something that one can just think themselves out of. That's a very antiquated attitude and just as dangerous as presuming to diagnose a stranger without the medical experience to back it up. My son has been able to accomplish amazing things outside of the classroom (he's an Eagle Scout, to name one thing), but in the classroom he's always behind. Just tonight, however, he was asking for help on Hamlet (or thought he needed help). Most of the time he just has to run his thinking by someone. Hamlet's complex and he totally understood what he'd read, though it takes him hours to work through a passage. After reading each of your thoughtful (and very kind) posts, I have nothing but respect for you. Having witnessed how hard the "normal" (and I use the term with ) world can treat someone unlike themselves, how brutally unkind and insensitive "regular folks" can be toward someone who is just trying to learn and get by, you deserve only to be praised for your assiduous attitude and your willingness to continue trying. I applaud you for yourself and in part because I'd like to see my son have role models to look up to who have "done it" despite the added challenges. Good on you!

~m

[slee]

Hi Slee,

Others have said this, and I'd like to add myself to the roster of those who've said it already:

You have an amazingly good attitude and optimistic approach ... and I think you'll end up getting into a good program somehow, by hook or by crook ... just because you're so dedicated, so humble (in a good way!), and so determined.

Again, all the best of luck to you --- you deserve it !

John

Oh, thanks John- I certainly appreciate it. It has been a struggle for me. But, I try my best to stay positive. It's hard sometimes to do, but staying positive is like working a muscle. You simply work at it everyday. There are lots of things that have humbled me, the test being one of them. But, as I said in another post- Film School was a humbling experience as well. I used to work in LA in the Entertainment industry and that definitely helped my skin to thicken. All of these odd situations in our lives build or spirit and character.

I guess- it's back to studying...

Thanks!

[joops]

Yeah, I think it's ridiculous how little time they give you on the GREs. It's also COMPLETELY unfair the stuff you have to go through to get extra time. I know that I'm going to have trouble on mine, and I'm not looking forward to it.

I'm wondering if you've ever thought about taking some medication? It's pretty easy to get. If you're worried about becoming dependent on it or whatever, I'm sure you could just get a prescription for the time you need to study and take the test. It's not giving up or conceding, it's just leveling the playing field for you. Best of luck!

[slee]

Yeah, I think it's ridiculous how little time they give you on the GREs. It's also COMPLETELY unfair the stuff you have to go through to get extra time. I know that I'm going to have trouble on mine, and I'm not looking forward to it.

I'm wondering if you've ever thought about taking some medication? It's pretty easy to get. If you're worried about becoming dependent on it or whatever, I'm sure you could just get a prescription for the time you need to study and take the test. It's not giving up or conceding, it's just leveling the playing field for you. Best of luck!

Yeah, I noticed some had suggested it as well. At the time that I took the GRE this last time (second attempt) I had gotten off of my ADD medication about 1 week before taking the test. Cause my thoughts were- hey, I'm 33, I'm an adult, I don't need them?!?! I am wondering now if that was such a wise thing to do right before a test? I know...duh? Right? I don't know what I was thinking, I guess I wasn't. I simply was trying to go all organic and stay off of it, but now that I am planning on taking it a third time and have opted against getting extended time (because trying to do so would take a very long time to process or approve). I am currently back on ADD medication. I can read and focus much more on my medication. I know in some of my responses I had stated that I was going to try and avoid meds, but- it actually is working for me now. I didn't get off of them before because they weren't working. I was going through this phase where I was trying to go all holistic. Now, I've learned not to experiment with holistic/organic remedies before an important test. I've learned that it's not such a bad idea to maybe stay on the meds especially on the day of the test. Ha ha ha....I just have to laugh at myself. It has helped me concentrate and with the added support of all of you here that have been kind enough to offer some great suggestions and better study habits, I think three time's a charm. I am striving to do much better this next time around and have a sense of humor about it all. By simply lightening up about it, I'm much more relaxed and able to focus more during my study sessions.