Breaking Up in Grad School

[NatRose]

I'm only a month into grad school, and my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me.  I feel awful.  How did / do you deal with relationships / breakups during grad school?  Did it affect your work?

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

I was going through a divorce during my MA. Luckily, the ex and I had been emotionally broken up for a long time (and they moved to a different state which made it easier). It is definitely an added stress, but I enjoyed the distraction of my work (classes, research, etc). *hugs* You will make it through this. <3 

[Adelaide9216]

I empathize with you. I went through one major break-up while in school and I found it really hard to manage daily activities after that. But I've made it through. I'm sure you will too, even though, it must be indeed very difficult at first. Time often helps in these situations. And after some time, you end up realizing why it was a good thing that the relationship ended, even if you can't see it at first. 

Edited February 11, 2018 by Adelaide9216

[lemma]

Not grad school, but I went through a bad breakup a month into undergrad. It destroyed my academics and social life that semester, which is why I wanted to share. Looking back, I would recommend having a strict limit on how many nights you go out drinking or late each week. It can be easy to get sucked into a lot of that to fill the hole of loneliness. I would also look into techniques that help your concentration (exercise, taking breaks, study timetable... whatever may help). I struggled to stay focused on my work, and often even get to my work at all.  

[MastersHoping]

In undergrad I had a bad breakup that really affected me in every way. Academically, socially, emotionally, etc. Sometimes there's nothing you can do to get over it, time is the only healer. Indeed, I wish I'd taken time off from school that year, but at the time I was afraid of doing so for fear of either appearing weak or just deviating from the regular path. If this is affecting you significantly, I honestly recommend you consider taking time off from school. School will be there for you when you come back, take care of yourself first. 

[rising_star]

I'm surprised no one has suggested this but I really think you should talk to a therapist or counselor. They can help you gain perspective on your situation, including why the relationship ended, and think of steps for moving forward. In addition, engage in other self-care activities on a regular basis. For me, that means taking one day a week where I don't do work.