Should I go to Admitted Students Day if I might reject the offer?

[jtp7118]

Out of the five PhD programs I applied to this year, I have been accepted into my top-choice school and a "safety" school so far (with the other three still pending). I have a great personal relationship with the POI from my "safety" school and I honestly really like the program, but I am feeling conflicted about whether or not I should go to the Admitted Students Day if I am most likely going to reject the offer. I think it could be a good way to network with the professors there (even if I don't wind up going there) and I can use the financial aid package to negotiate with my top-choice school, but I also understand I could be taking someone else's spot away...Is it okay for me to go to Admitted Students Day regardless?

[fuzzylogician]

If you are still considering the offer, it's definitely worth going. You are not responsible for worrying about other students on the waitlist as long as you are still unsure -- you have earned the right to care for your own future first. However, if you already know that there's no way you're taking the offer, then I think it's only fair to let it go. Everyone, including your POI, will appreciate that more than you leading them along to milk things out of the other school. 

[deshypothequiez]

Are you most likely going to turn down their offer or 100% without a doubt?

If you're just most likely, then yes, it's worth going. It's a good idea to take the opportunity to learn all that you can about every program you're considering so you can make an informed decision.

If there's no chance in hell you'll accept their offer, then no, don't go just to network and use their funding package to negotiate with other schools. That's disingenuous.

[rising_star]

3 hours ago, deshypothequiez said:

If there's no chance in hell you'll accept their offer, then no, don't go just to network and use their funding package to negotiate with other schools. That's disingenuous.

Agreed with this 100%. Also, if you want to network, set up a convo where you ask about conferences they'll be at in the future then, in advance of that conference, schedule a meeting over lunch, coffee, or a happy hour beverage. For the funding, you can still use the package to negotiate without actually visiting in person...

[jtp7118]

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses. I am going to give it some serious consideration and let them know as soon as I decide. I appreciate your insight! 

[bluebird8]

On ‎2‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 6:38 PM, jtp7118 said:

Out of the five PhD programs I applied to this year, I have been accepted into my top-choice school and a "safety" school so far (with the other three still pending). I have a great personal relationship with the POI from my "safety" school and I honestly really like the program, but I am feeling conflicted about whether or not I should go to the Admitted Students Day if I am most likely going to reject the offer. I think it could be a good way to network with the professors there (even if I don't wind up going there) and I can use the financial aid package to negotiate with my top-choice school, but I also understand I could be taking someone else's spot away...Is it okay for me to go to Admitted Students Day regardless?

I will tell you this from personal experience. I would definitely go to Admitted Students Day. I went to visit one of my schools for a graduate recruitment even though I was not sure it was what I wanted. Just from two days of being there, I was very impressed and loved the school, and all of my doubts are gone. If you think you are having doubts about a school, a visit will solidify your decision.

[Carly Rae Jepsen]

On 12/02/2018 at 7:11 PM, fuzzylogician said:

If you are still considering the offer, it's definitely worth going. You are not responsible for worrying about other students on the waitlist as long as you are still unsure -- you have earned the right to care for your own future first. However, if you already know that there's no way you're taking the offer, then I think it's only fair to let it go. Everyone, including your POI, will appreciate that more than you leading them along to milk things out of the other school. 

I agree! 

[whitmanifesto]

I was just in this situation. I was accepted to the "safety" school, but had already attended campus events twice. I knew I really liked the program, but I was accepted to my first pick with guaranteed funding and a much better fit all around. The visit was set for Feb 23rd, but since I already know that my first pick is not only a good fit, that I have funding and the safety school was footing the bill for my visit, I sent a decline of the offer with 2 weeks room for them to invite someone else to the visit. Since I had really already made up my mind, I thought it only fair to give someone else a chance at the visit, especially if they were unsure. You can still network with the professor if you feel the connection is genuine.

Edited February 14, 2018 by whitmanifesto