How to have the least awkward campus visit possible

[jusrain]

I thought it was just me, but after speaking with a number of other prospecive students during open houses, it’s clear that the much anticipated Visit can be an awkward animal at times. 

I’ve been to 3 so far, and they’ve all been vastly different, from hyper-structured (and thus physically exhausting) to incredibly free-form (and thus socially exhausting). I can’t seem to nail NOT feeling weird during these things, though, so I’m wondering if anyone has any advice to have the smoothest possible visit. 

Is it helpful to have written questions when meeting with prospective advisors? How have you transitioned from asking questions that an applicant would ask to asking questions that a *prospective student* would ask? And, if you happen to be one of those people blessed with the small talk gene, how do you do it so effortlessly? 

Maybe I’m the only hopelessly awkward one at these things. 

 

[Eucerin]

I have been to 5 + visits. My take is that you be as honest as possible (of course, we all know that there're questions that you can't ask). I am sure you have real concerns and real questions, so go for those.

[victoriansimpkins]

I know I'll be sitting in on at least two classes one day, and this may be a stupid question, but can I.....participate? or do I have to just sit there and listen? 

[rr732]

12 minutes ago, victoriansimpkins said:

I know I'll be sitting in on at least two classes one day, and this may be a stupid question, but can I.....participate? or do I have to just sit there and listen? 

I did this at one school and felt it would’ve felt rude to try to participate. Also, at least in my situation, I hadn’t done the reading, so it would’ve been silly for me to slow the class down by asking questions. The prof gave me the book to read while the students broke out into groups, which was nice and we chatted for a min after. I think if they’re ok with you participating, they’ll tell you. Otherwise, default should be just to listen imo.

[jusrain]

1 hour ago, Eucerin said:

I have been to 5 + visits. My take is that you be as honest as possible (of course, we all know that there're questions that you can't ask). I am sure you have real concerns and real questions, so go for those.

Other than money and questions about department politics, what is off limits? Anything that isn’t obviously off limits but still good to avoid? 

[Glasperlenspieler]

1 hour ago, Eucerin said:

(of course, we all know that there're questions that you can't ask)

 

46 minutes ago, swarthmawr said:

 Other than money and questions about department politics, what is off limits? Anything that isn’t obviously off limits but still good to avoid? 

I beg to differ on this one. There are certainly some questions that you can't ask to some people but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be asked. They just need to be asked discreetly to the right person. Typically, these are the sort of things that you should ask grad students in a casual environment removed from professors, such as:

-Which professors shouldn't be put on committees together?

-Is the stipend enough to live on/what do students do to support themselves beyond the stipend?

-What is Professor X's reputations as an advisor?

-How prepared to students feel on the job market? How successful have recent grads been?

-Are their factions/cliques among the grad students? Among the professors?

-How many students leave the program before completion? Why do they leave?

-How flexible rigid are the course/program requirements? 

-Where do faculty and students butt heads?

 

I could go on, but that should give you an idea of the sort of things you really do want to know and should do your best to find out on a visit. Some of these you could ask to professors, but seeing as they're trying to convince you to attend, grad students are the better ones to ask. They too might be trying to sell the program but they were in your shoes more recently and thus are more apt to be more candid about their experience. Plus professors can be pretty oblivious about some of these things. You should definitely broach these topics tactfully, but they are by no means off limits.

 

[urbanfarmer]

The awkwardness of these visits is probably good practice for how awkward a lot of academic events are-- it might eventually be easier once you know some people, but you're still expected to talk to strangers and mill about with small talk (think guest lectures or seminars, round tables, interdisciplinary events, conference meet n greets, etc etc). 

Anyways, the best advice I can give you is just to completely fake it (until you make it? hopefully? I'm a bartender and this worked eventually). Everyone likes people who are friendly and who seem interested in them, so even when you have that terrible, awkward, "what the hell am I supposed to say to all these other strangers who are completely avoiding eye contact" moment and you'd really rather leave the whole thing-- walk up to someone and make some inane comment about the room or weather or whatever is around you, and then ask them questions about themselves and/or something professional (and act really engaged with their answers). Seem confident and at ease even if you feel nervous or awkward (they'll never know!). At the least, it eases the awkwardness of social situations, and at best can open up the door to getting a feel for a professor beyond how they respond to questions, or getting some useful/interesting information from other students. 

 

[wildsurmise]

Alsooo what do people wear to visits? Is it pretty casual?

[trytostay]

14 hours ago, wildsurmise said:

Alsooo what do people wear to visits? Is it pretty casual?

It’s a mix. You’ll be fine in whatever you wear, as long as it isn’t sweats or an evening gown. 

[bookworm2]

On 3/22/2019 at 11:34 AM, swarthmawr said:

 

Is it helpful to have written questions when meeting with prospective advisors? How have you transitioned from asking questions that an applicant would ask to asking questions that a *prospective student* would ask? And, if you happen to be one of those people blessed with the small talk gene, how do you do it so effortlessly? 

Maybe I’m the only hopelessly awkward one at these things. 

 

I know how you feel Swarthmawr. I'm a bit on the quiet side, so I spent a good amount of time thinking about questions I would like to ask the faculty and graduate students. It made me feel confident to have a list prepared. I went to a campus visit yesterday and although I needed to talk to people the ENTIRE time, it went pretty smoothly. I did ask a lot of questions but most of the time spent was faculty explaining their research interests.  Best of luck on your visits!