The "Going Stir Crazy" Thread

[koechophe]

This thread is for everyone, like me, who just wants to post something about how stir crazy they're going waiting to hear back from Grad schools. 

Post all your irrational fears and worries.

Post all your regrets. 

Post about how often you check this place just to see if other people have gotten decisions yet.

Post about how often you check that email account.

Whatever makes you feel better (or doesn't!) Here's a place for solidarity, my fellow stir-crazy hopefuls. 

 

Me: Creative Writing MFA, 0 Acceptance, 0 Waitlist, 1 Acceptance, 7 Waiting. 

[carlrogersfan98]

Going stir crazy to hear about the last program I have hope in. I check the admissions portal probably like 5x a day, constantly refreshing my email, checking the results page like 5x a day as well, and overall am getting so jittery and find it hard to focus. I am also so anxious that my body just feels so sluggish and drained. And I know, self care, make sure you're getting sleep, eating, drinking water, exercising, bla bla bla. I am TRYING to, but holy crap is it hard. And such efforts seem futile right now; I truly don't think I'll go back to normal until I hear the results.

Not to mention I'm especially stressed because if I don't get in, it means looking for a job, and the job market is quite dismal these days. I also just feel like I worked my butt off during undergrad to get the right research experience, grades, practical experience, etc and so far it hasn't been seeing to pay off this cycle. Feeling very disheartened and anxious, so if anyone else feels this way you're definitely not alone ? 

[musichistorygeek]

I’m going stir-crazy about postdoc applications. This is my second year on the job market since graduating and I’ve had sessional teaching jobs, but I really need something more stable and focused on developing my research. I know I likely won’t hear back from the major programs until late March through late April, but I’m having a hard time focusing now. 

[bstewart]

I am so anxious to hear about the decision. When I applied back in November, I was told a decision would be made in March but in my interview they said possibly sometime in February. I jump every time there's an email in my inbox, I check their grad site everyday, and even though I know I physical letter won't come to me because they stopped doing physical letters, I've also gone as far to check my mailbox. I also have friends on Facebook who are finding out they've been accepted into their theatre MFA (different concentration at a different school) and that makes me even more jumpy. So glad I'm not the only one on edge! 

[koechophe]

On 3/4/2021 at 3:11 PM, carlrogersfan98 said:

I truly don't think I'll go back to normal until I hear the results.

I definitely feel this. I've never had something that impacted my mental health more than this waiting period (which is saying a lot lol). But hey, even if we're on wait lists, even if we're getting crickets, it only takes 1 yes to make all the no's worth it, and it's not over until it's over. Keep waiting it out, and try to think positive!

[dionysianamphora]

I'm waiting to hear back from a classical studies MA program and the waiting is killing me. It's especially hard when many of my friends have already been accepted to grad programs so it makes you feel like the odd one out.

[Val6666]

I am so anxious I can't sleep.

[amber14JK]

The anxiety is pretty bad, haven't gotten a goods nights sleep since seeing that someone confirmed receiving an acceptance to my top program (haven't gotten a rejection email so one can hope I'm on the waitlist). I can't will myself to contact them directly either without feeling/seeming desperate. At least I have my safety programs but the feeling of inadequacy and imposter syndrome really weighs on my mental state right now.

[MadEye]

I refresh my mail like 100 times a day. I graduated in 2015 and now I am already a bit older for early-career program and not suited for mid-career. Next year it will be worse. I got an admit from a university I really want to attend but their offer rate is high and they don't have many internal scholarships, making it not a very viable option. Going crazy waiting for the rest. Really nervous because my undergrad score is low, only counting on my work-ex and GRE score now. 

[h_lenah]

Hey everyone, I can feel all this. It's pretty similar for me. I've gotten one rejection already and I start being afraid that I haven't put enough time in my application. I am working full-time and literally wrote my research proposal while I was sick with Covid for 2 weeks and Christmas break, because those were the only times I had time. I don't want to be stuck in this job any longer, but knowing the application might not be good enough makes me really anxious. I also feel like my career path is not "straight" enough as I just recently realized that I wanted to pursue a PhD, so my CV doesn't really reflect that.

[knight26]

I'm lucky enough to have gotten some acceptances so far, but financial aid is going to determine where I go and I have heard diddly squat about that.

[knight26]

not*

[radetzky]

Hello everyone! Here's my story from 2020.

I was about to graduate from my BA studies, had done an exchange semester and I felt extra motivated for returning to international environment. All I focused was to get admitted to any of MA programmes, I didn't even consider finding a job by that time. However, in hindsight, I gambled - I applied only to three programmes . I was feeling so confident I didn't even have my motivation letters proofread by someone experienced. Again, I applied to two universities (CEU and Tartu), plus one Erasmus Mundus programme. When I got a conditional letter for the Erasmus Mundus programme, I was the happiest. Little did I know it was just a technical stage and it had nothing to do with the scholarship itself.

My confidence took the first blow when I was rejected for the Erasmus Mundus scholarship. And it caught me by surprise. Just a generic rejection email - "thank you for applying, but the selection was so tough, blah blah…"; This was in late March. 

April came and the letter from CEU. I was rejected. Not even waitlisted. Straight out rejected. Now I was feeling devastated for sure.

Moving on, in the middle of May I got an email. It was from Tartu. I got admitted. No scholarship, though. I was miserable. And job market seemed quite dismal, indeed.

But as I graduated in late July, I managed to land a job straight away. And then I got DAAD scholarship. Looking back, it was not so bad after all. What I went through was unbearable at some point. But it got me here. 

Now I am again waiting for other scholarships (5+ applications this year), even though I already have DAAD secured. 

I do not check my email that often though. I decided to completely forget it. Unfortunately, not matter how many times you open it up, it is what it is. 

I come to this forum frequently and check your posts, though. The sense of community makes the wait tolerable. 

I hope that each and every one of you will accomplish your goals and get into your desired programmes. Even if you don't, it is not the end of the world. These words would get me furious last year, but it is true. 

Cheers! 

[koechophe]

10 hours ago, radetzky said:

Looking back, it was not so bad after all. What I went through was unbearable at some point. But it got me here. 

Really good for you. That's a great attitude to have. This admission cycle is super weird (thanks Covid!) and the job market is equally dismal, but it can all work out in the end. 

[Krane]

On 3/8/2021 at 5:58 PM, h_lenah said:

Hey everyone, I can feel all this. It's pretty similar for me. I've gotten one rejection already and I start being afraid that I haven't put enough time in my application. I am working full-time and literally wrote my research proposal while I was sick with Covid for 2 weeks and Christmas break, because those were the only times I had time. I don't want to be stuck in this job any longer, but knowing the application might not be good enough makes me really anxious. I also feel like my career path is not "straight" enough as I just recently realized that I wanted to pursue a PhD, so my CV doesn't really reflect that.

Hello there. Sorry to hear that. Just words of motivation though, if you do not want to be stuck in your job then it is high time to invest your time, effort and even money to improve your credentials suited for the PhD program you want to apply for. I know it would also take some fortune to successfully juggle all those responsibilities but if you'd really want something so bad then you have to sacrifice a portion of your current possessions. Also, in everything that you do, you have to be confident in a sense that you're certain you've done your best. You can always improve your CV. You can always start from somewhere. Just attract some good karma and the universe shall provide. Good luck!

PS: I am also trying to pursue a Master's program that is not "straight enough" with respect to my Bachelor's degree but a bit of sacrifice and luck got me into reserve list last year. I am still trying my chances this year. There's always a possibility. ?

[4everstudent]

This application season has been rough. My anxiety is through the roof. I’ve been rejected by 4 of the 5 schools I applied to. And waitlisted at my top choice. Talked to my POI and she said the one applicant just needs to say no and that I would be in. So now I find myself checking my email multiple times a day. My POI said she would contact me within a few days after she talked to the other applicant to get a feel for her decision and it’s been two weeks now. As we creep closer to the April 15th deadline I feel like I’m going crazy. 
 

Ok end rant. Lol

[yee123]

Waitlisted at my top choice for the second year in a row. I got into 3 safeties but my top choice was really the only one that I fit with. 
Checking gradcafe and email constantly. I know someone who has already been accepted off the waitlist for a different program and I just want it to be me  

[geumdongi]

Waitlisted for CEU Master's in gender studies. They asked me to wait till May 30th. The wait is stressful and killing me. I had applied for a scholarship as an international student...But at this point, I'm hoping that they could offer me a place even if it's without scholarship. I am just so heartbroken and "going stir crazy" XD. Just hoping I get in Jeezus. I hope it doesn't sound too dramatic if I say I'm close to dEath XD . This is sooo stressfullll.