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Things not to say to someone who has just been rejected by their dream school


RestorationJunkie

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I hated the "You didn't get in? Why?". Because then I had to explain. Without crying. Which worked maybe 30% of the time. sad.gif

But this thread has inspired me: I shall go and acquire some bourbon for my desk. Always be prepared...

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The worst I got last year was, "Well you probably shouldn't have aimed so high" and "Don't worry, you'll get in somewhere." Both of these pissed me off, for different reasons, of course. Then, later on, after I received my last rejection letter, the same person that assured me I'd "get in somewhere" I overheard talking to someone else about how silly it was I applied to only out of state schools, because why would they want me, anyway? Er... despite the fact that they clearly had no clue what applying to grad school is all about, I'm still upset about that one.

I, too, had a prof who became indignant on my behalf, with plenty of "F*** those a**holes" in an email he wrote after I told him the decisions of a couple schools. Probably the best response I got all year, and it went a long way toward making me feel better. So maybe that's the safest bet for something to say? :D

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Everyone should have emergency supplies. ;) I recommend Woodford's Reserve, if you want to stick with bourbon.

Yes, I've heard good things about Woodford's Reserve. Will try that next time. I'm pretty much set on Kentucky bourbons and Tennessee sipping whiskies as desk supplies.

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We really should provide the community with a pamphlet, "When Someone You Love is Applying to Grad School". We can include sections like "Just Because Your Loved One is Smart, Does Not Guarantee Acceptance" and "How Adcoms Hold Your Loved One's Future in Their Hands" and "Why Telling Your Loved One to Look at the Bigger Picture is Frankly Insulting (No One Goes to Grad School for the Lulz)".

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We really should provide the community with a pamphlet, "When Someone You Love is Applying to Grad School". We can include sections like "Just Because Your Loved One is Smart, Does Not Guarantee Acceptance" and "How Adcoms Hold Your Loved One's Future in Their Hands" and "Why Telling Your Loved One to Look at the Bigger Picture is Frankly Insulting (No One Goes to Grad School for the Lulz)".

I can picture the imagery on the front of these pamphlets :lol:

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"Well this just means you can get a real job and become a productive member of society." <------my parents, I'm sure.

My parents too, and my sisters. Actually pretty much everyone in my life. My family thinks academic studies are for people not capable enough to do something 'real' with their life and are only capable of being a bookworm/recluse!

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We really should provide the community with a pamphlet, "When Someone You Love is Applying to Grad School". We can include sections like "Just Because Your Loved One is Smart, Does Not Guarantee Acceptance" and "How Adcoms Hold Your Loved One's Future in Their Hands" and "Why Telling Your Loved One to Look at the Bigger Picture is Frankly Insulting (No One Goes to Grad School for the Lulz)".

please. someone needs to make this. i would send this to all of my family and friends immediately.

My family thinks academic studies are for people not capable enough to do something 'real' with their life and are only capable of being a bookworm/recluse!

Yepp welcome to the club. When I say I'm applying for a Ph.d, the next question always is, "So what are you going to do after THAT?" like a Ph.d is nothing, it's just one more hurdle before getting a real job. And everyone loves to call me the "permanent student" because they think I'm too lazy to work and not ready for the real world. angry.gif

And what don't I want to hear if I'm not accepted to my dream school?: "There's always next year."

ARGH.

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We really should provide the community with a pamphlet, "When Someone You Love is Applying to Grad School". We can include sections like "Just Because Your Loved One is Smart, Does Not Guarantee Acceptance" and "How Adcoms Hold Your Loved One's Future in Their Hands" and "Why Telling Your Loved One to Look at the Bigger Picture is Frankly Insulting (No One Goes to Grad School for the Lulz)".

Yes. Absolutely. I also suggest "Getting Accepted Anywhere is an Honor (Even if You Haven't Heard of the School or the Name Won't Impress Your Friends)." I got in to UMN, which happens to have an excellent program for my field. My parents' response was, "That's nice. When do you hear back from Harvard?"

I also think I need to make a bourbon restocking trip. I'm down to my last lucky flask full of Maker's Mark...

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I got in to UMN, which happens to have an excellent program for my field. My parents' response was, "That's nice. When do you hear back from Harvard?"

Haha I can totally understand this :D My parents were surprised I didn't apply to harvard and to cmu instead and they were like: what is cmu? Why don't you do your phd in your home country instead of an unknown uni and I was like you're crazy!!

But on the other hand I can't blame them since they're not in the academic world and I'm not from the us :)

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what i have told friends of mine who have been rejected is "All that matters is that you know in your heart you made brilliant work and submitted outstanding applications. No irritating letter of rejection will change that."

Aw that's super nice. I like that!

I got a great response today from an alum of the school I applied to: "What?! Those elitist, arrogant, d-bags! I am SO not rooting for them during March Madness, and I'm taking my diploma off the wall!"

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things not to say....

"huh? really? I got in no problem."

"Oh, I wish you had told me you were applying there, my cousin is the dean..."

"There's always your safety school Crap U out in butt-****, Idaho to look forward to"

"Why didn't you apply to the University of Phoenix?"

I just got rejected from my dream school today, so my heart goes out to everyone who gets/got rejected from their dream school.

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-You'll get in somewhere else.

This is exactly the reason why I won't ever tell anyone about my application statuses until I receive an acceptance letter: to avoid hearing THIS bs. It's so inconsiderate, despite seemingly sounding as if it may help alleviate the pain of getting a rejection. It's such a nonchalant, almost fake sounding line that I will shoot an extremely dirty look at whoever says this to anyone else, if not me.

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Yes, I've heard good things about Woodford's Reserve. Will try that next time. I'm pretty much set on Kentucky bourbons and Tennessee sipping whiskies as desk supplies.

Woodford Reserve is wonderful. I also love a 10 year old Talisker scotch--a nice salty punch in the mouth, perfect for rejection--and celebration.

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