Anger, anyone?

[Amalia222]

This is just going off what some of you have been saying.....I think, pretty much, getting into a Ph.D. straight out of a BA isn't happening much any more. I think increasingly departments see the MA as a "stepping stone" to the Ph.D., just one more hoop to go through. After all, they are getting applicants in record numbers, so there has to be some way to screen people. Many programs don't even allow BA to Ph.D. transitions any more. It's MA or nothing. So it's definitely harder. And maybe there just has to be something unique about you. You have to stand out in the crowd. Because it's a big crowd, and it's growing.

[flotsam]

This is just going off what some of you have been saying.....I think, pretty much, getting into a Ph.D. straight out of a BA isn't happening much any more. I think increasingly departments see the MA as a "stepping stone" to the Ph.D., just one more hoop to go through. After all, they are getting applicants in record numbers, so there has to be some way to screen people. Many programs don't even allow BA to Ph.D. transitions any more. It's MA or nothing. So it's definitely harder. And maybe there just has to be something unique about you. You have to stand out in the crowd. Because it's a big crowd, and it's growing.

That is so true! Gotta have a gimmick.

[jordanami]

It is true, it is better that he said no. I had one say no to me too, but the others were very enthusiastic. I have had friends who have been stuck with bad letters though... one who applied to 27 schools before he was accepted (ugh). His stats were really good, but this one prof said he didn't think he had the drive necessary for med school. He is very laid back, but I don't think that is a bad quality in a Dr. We don't need to believe anyone's opinion of us, as long as we are honest with ourselves.

at least some of y'all had bad advice that was at least encouraging. I asked a professor for a LOR, and I figured he would write me a great one, because according to him I wrote one of the better papers in his seminar class. Instead, he told me I was a terrible candidate and felt uncomfortable writing a letter for me, and tried to discourage me from applying to doctoral programs. He tried to route me into terminal MA programs to improve the "deficiencies" in my application, but after I told him I couldn't afford that route he just shrugged.

now, my application wasn't perfect, but in my view there weren't any serious problems with it. I was really hurt and annoyed by his reaction, but I moved on and got great letters from other professors I was close to. They didn't think the small issues in my application would hold me back, and they were really encouraging, so I knew I was doing the right thing by ignoring him. I was validated when I was admitted to a great program (with funding and a stipend!) a few weeks ago.

The professor who denied me is senior in the department, and highly respected by a lot of people. If I hadn't had the support of the other professors I probably would've taken his advice and not applied this cycle at all. On the plus side, it's kind of a blessing he refused LOR outright, instead of accepting my request and writing me a bad one....

[KreacherKeeper]

It is true, it is better that he said no. I had one say no to me too, but the others were very enthusiastic. I have had friends who have been stuck with bad letters though... one who applied to 27 schools before he was accepted (ugh). His stats were really good, but this one prof said he didn't think he had the drive necessary for med school. He is very laid back, but I don't think that is a bad quality in a Dr. We don't need to believe anyone's opinion of us, as long as we are honest with ourselves.

Actually, I had a bit of self-anger about the whole thing. I am finishing a Masters and it is clear now, life would have been easier if I had approached the Masters with PhD admissions in mind, rather than thinking it was the degree that was going to get me in, rather than hard work and adequate languages, experiences and a chance to get ready for PhD work.

It was only this year, when admissions drive really caught up with me and I realized I needed to be attending more conferences, postering (is that a word?) and entering things so that my name was out there. I did not take the GRE until October, and got ok, but not excellent scores (1270/4.5). Unfortunately, that means that my grad school applications went in December, and I have been accepted to present in the Spring (and it is NOT on my applications). I did have a moment when I thought, "Why is my grad department not telling me to be more proactive!"

But really, I was the one who was not being proactive. There is a girl in our department that wears fancy clothes, talks only with the professors, and has to be the center of attention in both class and first in everything. She is constantly pushing her case with professors and I see that she does get to do great things, but I also see that she could get lousy rec's because the professors seem to be as annoyed with her as the other students. And she has no friends, because she uses people to 'be first'. I have decided if I get in this round, I need to be somewhere in the middle. I need to make the most of my opportunities but also 'work well with others'. The first step of this is seeing my professors as guiding senior members of my department, but also doing most of the legwork myself.

[Arcadian]

This is just going off what some of you have been saying.....I think, pretty much, getting into a Ph.D. straight out of a BA isn't happening much any more. I think increasingly departments see the MA as a "stepping stone" to the Ph.D., just one more hoop to go through. After all, they are getting applicants in record numbers, so there has to be some way to screen people. Many programs don't even allow BA to Ph.D. transitions any more. It's MA or nothing. So it's definitely harder. And maybe there just has to be something unique about you. You have to stand out in the crowd. Because it's a big crowd, and it's growing.

That depends on the field. In psychology, going BA to PhD is still extremely common and expected.

[truckbasket]

That depends on the field. In psychology, going BA to PhD is still extremely common and expected.

I'm going BA to PhD and I'm in English.

[eklavya]

I was wondering if anyone else felt just plain angry at two things:

I am! Angry as hell! Wish I could pay Bruce Banner to 'hulk smash' some classroom windows & street lamps at these fricking schools that have eloped with my application money!

On that note, have you guys seen that 'it's my money, & i want it now!!' commercial? yeah.. my feelings exactly!

[MSW hopeful]

sometimes I can just picture my application sitting on someone's desk with REJECTED stamped on it, but the person whose job it is to relay that informaton is just a terrible, lazy employee who shows up late, takes 10 smoke breaks and leaves early.... suddenly it's April and they realize... oh crap, better take care of all these rejection letters. probably not the case, but you can see how I demonize others who dare test my patience.

This made my night......this really had my dying, laughing over here.

Thanks for that!

[hopetoI/O]

I applied to multiple schools spent about $350 in application fees and have heard back from 2. One of the deadlines was Dec. 15th and I still have heard nothing. I got accepted to one visited the school and like it they notified me within 2 weeks of the deadline. Prof. called me to notify me and sounded enthusiastic so I will probably go there. I would rather go to a good program with a helpful and supportive staff than some school that has huge name status with pompous professors that think students should worship the ground they lecture on.

[Mal83]

I think what makes this process so hard is not knowing, most of us have absolutely no idea how the admissions committee does things. For example, someone in the Government Affairs forum informed us that American University makes decisions in batches and sends them out accordingly. They also mentioned that the admissions person said that the batches have no relation to acceptance or rejection. Now once I learned that only a few days ago I was like "Ok, that makes sense, now that just because a lot of people here have heard and I haven't doesn't mean I'm in the reject batch." The deadline was Jan 15. Plus the admissions person let them know that they just started the second batch. So again, that bit of insight makes the whole thing less mysterious. Why does it have to be some big secret mystery? I mean I guess we could all call and just plain ask what their process is like, but could you imagine if the school just clued you in like this right from the get go? Like put that in the email that comes with "thank you for submitting." They don't have to provide some play by play but just a brief description of the process, that's all. "We make decisions in batches and they don't correlate to rejection/acceptance." Bam...there, I now know how they do it and don't have to be devastated every time someone posts their acceptance and I haven't heard anything. It would also be good to know how the batches are put together, i.e. by date of submission, program...or whatever. You know? That way I can have some vague idea that since one of my recommenders didn't submit my LOR until 7 hours before the deadline than that means I'm most likely in the last batch will be one of the last to be notified. Just a simple and quick description of their process would be so insightful. Plus they'd probably get fewer phone calls.

[NUcat72]

The most irritating thing about the admissions process in my field is that there are less than 100, a lot of times less than 50 people on average applying to the programs each year, yet we are consistently close to last to receive decisions. Ok, I understand that Industrial Design programs aren't huge, but I applied back in mid-December, and it is now the end of March and I still haven't heard a peep from 5 programs... I mean c'mon people, how long does it take to review 40 apps, let alone return a simple email!?! Meanwhile I'm trying my hardest not to tear out my hair!

[Mal83]

Since discovering this morning that the few Grad Student Day events for American U have already been or soon to be held and I haven't heard yet, I've gotten angrier. How is that fair? I didn't even know there was a few of these things going on and the one closest to me already happened, I still wouldn't have gone, I'm not going to get on plane to go to one of these things, but still why are these events being held before all of the decisions are being made and sent out? I know generally that all decisions have yet to be made...so why are these events going on already? Some people have actually gotten their email invites before getting their acceptance letters in the mail. What is that? I've actually just emailed them before finishing this post because I decided that I can't take it any more. I asked what batch I'm in and if it's under review, plus if there will be any more of these grad student days for those eventually accepted...I figure the response to that will either give me hope or cause to start letting go. I need to know either way so that at the very least I can start getting excited about my one acceptance and also planning how the hell I'm going to relocate across this country....which I am very ready to start planning for but can't seem to get to it without a decision from this school. Ok...breathe.

[Starlajane]

Starlajane - whatever you do, please dont spoil your relationship with your profs by communicating your anger to them! Sometimes even your well-wishers are wrong about their predictions. But they are your well-wishers, so dont be too angry with them. Maybe by assuring you, they were trying to up your confidence level.. who knows??

Important thing now is to do two things:

1. Ask yourself is this really what I want? Was I doing it only coz my profs said so? Do i really want to pursue gradate studies in this field?

2. If the answer is no, well then, thanks be to the The Lord, for this outcome. If the answer is yes, then you need to sit down (with the help of your profs) and analyse why you didnt get in. This will help you in making your app stronger for next year or whenever next you decide to apply.

The answer to the first will not be easy. So take your time to figure that out. Sorry if I am being too patronizing and you already know this.

As regards, anger - I dont think we should be telling you what to feel and what not to feel. We all have bursts of anger (as evinced by my post) and sometimes it helps us with the energy it brings in its wake (very important to channelize that energy in the right way), but the sooner it washes away the better. Our best decisions are taken in a calm frame of mind.

No, I really did want to go, which was why I was so angry. Furthermore, I'm certainly not going to go back to the same people who encouraged me to apply to programs for which I was not qualified for some more advice. I am sure that my profs meant well but they don't seem to be the ones that I should have consulted about applying. So, in the future, I am keeping my own counsel, I seem to have a better idea of my options.

I also think it's a little strange that posters seem to equate not getting in with an applicant not "really" wanting to go, or as some "sign" that it wasn't "meant to be." Just a few of the things that people don't want to hear when they don't get in and realize that their dream is just that, especially from people that did get in.

And, you're right, anger is a valid and healthy emotion, especially in situations like this. I would actually wonder if someone weren't angry b/c I think that THAT would mean that he/she really didn't care about going.

[Mal83]

I was angry due to my rejection from American University because they do the batch system and in the thread dedicated to this school everyone who was in the first 2 batches got accepted and then those few of us left waiting until the bitter end just got reject letters. It feels like they just did some kind of rush job through the 3rd batch, if there were any acceptances in that one, no one here posted it. A few people were told the batches had no significance whatsoever, if that was true why would there be a mostly reject batch? One such person in the 3rd batch had been already accepted to 2 top notch schools and had been waitlisted at American, it just seemed to go hand in hand, if you get into George Washington or Georgetown for anything IR related, you should be in at American. Plus I had been waitlisted at a GW, yet was rejected by American. Almost everyone who was waitlisted or even rejected by those same 2 schools that post here had gotten into American, but they were in the first 2 batches. So as we began figuring this out it seemed that the batches were created based on timing of application submission, all of us in the 3rd one submitted pretty close to the deadline. My hunch is that most or all of the acceptances were made during the review of the first 2 batches while if there happened to be any space left over or whatever they'd be given to the few lucky applicants in the 3rd. I don't know if that's exactly how it went down, but it felt like it and was a tad bit insulted due to the fact that I'm a returned Peace Corps volunteer, which American values enough to waive the application fee for us...but to not even get on the waitlist was like a little slap in the face..

But I quickly said "whatever, to hell with 'em" and shredded the reject letter and felt satisfied with my acceptance to another school and even if I don't make it off the waitlist to my dream school I will still feel privileged to have gotten that far with them.

[wtncffts]

I was angry due to my rejection from American University because they do the batch system and in the thread dedicated to this school everyone who was in the first 2 batches got accepted and then those few of us left waiting until the bitter end just got reject letters. It feels like they just did some kind of rush job through the 3rd batch, if there were any acceptances in that one, no one here posted it. A few people were told the batches had no significance whatsoever, if that was true why would there be a mostly reject batch? One such person in the 3rd batch had been already accepted to 2 top notch schools and had been waitlisted at American, it just seemed to go hand in hand, if you get into George Washington or Georgetown for anything IR related, you should be in at American. Plus I had been waitlisted at a GW, yet was rejected by American. Almost everyone who was waitlisted or even rejected by those same 2 schools that post here had gotten into American, but they were in the first 2 batches. So as we began figuring this out it seemed that the batches were created based on timing of application submission, all of us in the 3rd one submitted pretty close to the deadline. My hunch is that most or all of the acceptances were made during the review of the first 2 batches while if there happened to be any space left over or whatever they'd be given to the few lucky applicants in the 3rd. I don't know if that's exactly how it went down, but it felt like it and was a tad bit insulted due to the fact that I'm a returned Peace Corps volunteer, which American values enough to waive the application fee for us...but to not even get on the waitlist was like a little slap in the face..

But I quickly said "whatever, to hell with 'em" and shredded the reject letter and felt satisfied with my acceptance to another school and even if I don't make it off the waitlist to my dream school I will still feel privileged to have gotten that far with them.

I have no idea about the process at AU, so I'm just going off of what you say, and it does sound somewhat unfair, IF those batches were created arbitrarily. However, I have seen a number of programs where they explicitly say they admit on a rolling basis and simply stop when they have their cohort. I don't think that kind of system is necessarily unfair.

I also strongly disagree with a couple of your assertions. Granted , I'm not familiar with professional programs which I think you're talking about, but in academic progams there's nothing surprising about being accepted at a 'higher ranked' school while being rejected at a lower one. Also, I don't see how being in the peace corps has anything to do with anything at all. I thought such programs were meant to inculcate humility, not a sense of entitlement.

[Mal83]

I have no idea about the process at AU, so I'm just going off of what you say, and it does sound somewhat unfair, IF those batches were created arbitrarily. However, I have seen a number of programs where they explicitly say they admit on a rolling basis and simply stop when they have their cohort. I don't think that kind of system is necessarily unfair.

I also strongly disagree with a couple of your assertions. Granted , I'm not familiar with professional programs which I think you're talking about, but in academic progams there's nothing surprising about being accepted at a 'higher ranked' school while being rejected at a lower one. Also, I don't see how being in the peace corps has anything to do with anything at all. I thought such programs were meant to inculcate humility, not a sense of entitlement.

Inculcate humility? Actually I'm proud of what I did as is every volunteer I ever came into contact with and the 3rd goal of the Peace Corps mission is to spread the word, to educate, to express the value of the experience, and if you so choose, use it as a foundation to enrich your own life, whether it be professionally or personally. The idea that people become volunteers simply to be inculcated by humility is a little naive, we do it to spread our values, gain experience in ways we never would here, to satisfy our own need to contribute, to advance our careers and create opportunities for ourselves. Don't get me wrong, we've all been humbled at times, gained an insight and appreciation for things we never would have otherwise. I'm someone who takes that very seriously, but let's be real, no one becomes a volunteer to NOT put it on their resume. And perhaps if you knew what professional program I had applied for you'd see the obvious connection instead of mischaracterizing my feelings of mild anger and slight resentment at a rejection from an International Development program which grants special consideration to Peace Corps volunteers as a "sense of entitlement." I'm not sure if there's any better base than Peace Corps to prepare you for a graduate program in ID so I think it has a lot to do with it. I spent over 2 years of my life in Ukraine, I'm grateful for the experience, but I also worked hard enough to earn the right to feel mildly resentful at a rejection from this particular program that I felt quite strongly about...there's a big difference between feeling entitled just because you are who you are and feeling that you've earned something and experiencing disappointment when those making the decisions don't agree.

Like I said, of course I don't know exactly how admissions did what they did, but I have a feeling, just a hunch, that I was at a disadvantage simply because of when I submitted my application. Was I angry at the thought of it? Damn straight. Like I also said, I got over it. And I wasn't the only one puzzled by the situation.

Edited April 16, 2011 by Mal83

[wtncffts]

Inculcate humility? Actually I'm proud of what I did as is every volunteer I ever came into contact with and the 3rd goal of the Peace Corps mission is to spread the word, to educate, to express the value of the experience, and if you so choose, use it as a foundation to enrich your own life, whether it be professionally or personally. The idea that people become volunteers simply to be inculcated by humility is a little naive, we do it to spread our values, gain experience in ways we never would here, to satisfy our own need to contribute, to advance our careers and create opportunities for ourselves. Don't get me wrong, we've all been humbled at times, gained an insight and appreciation for things we never would have otherwise. I'm someone who takes that very seriously, but let's be real, no one becomes a volunteer to NOT put it on their resume. And perhaps if you knew what professional program I had applied for you'd see the obvious connection instead of mischaracterizing my feelings of mild anger and slight resentment at a rejection from an International Development program which grants special consideration to Peace Corps volunteers as a "sense of entitlement." I'm not sure if there's any better base than Peace Corps to prepare you for a graduate program in ID so I think it has a lot to do with it. I spent over 2 years of my life in Ukraine, I'm grateful for the experience, but I also worked hard enough to earn the right to feel mildly resentful at a rejection from this particular program that I felt quite strongly about...there's a big difference between feeling entitled just because you are who you are and feeling that you've earned something and experiencing disappointment when those making the decisions don't agree.

Like I said, of course I don't know exactly how admissions did what they did, but I have a feeling, just a hunch, that I was at a disadvantage simply because of when I submitted my application. Was I angry at the thought of it? Damn straight. Like I also said, I got over it. And I wasn't the only one puzzled by the situation.

I didn't say that humility was the exclusive purpose of the peace corps. Of course I know people use it for career advancement, experience, and so on. But I don't get the attitude that it entitles you to being accepted or on the waitlist; your original post certainly made it sound like they owe you something. Now, you're right, I don't know anything about the program. If they say they give 'special consideration' which you feel wasn't extended in your case, then fine. You're entitled to feel however you want. But unless they somehow have a policy of accepting all peace corps volunteers regardless, I don't see, frankly, why you're special. Do you think others, those who got in and others rejected, haven't worked just as hard as you and don't deserve it just as much as you? It's a competitive process. Many of us feel like we've worked hard enough and have received rejections. Again, if the process was arbitrary, that is cause for complaint, but only on that basis and not because of your situation. And I'm sorry if I misread your views; I'm only going by what you've said, and it does seem to me that it boils down to "Hey, I was in the peace corps, now accept me. Anything less is an insult." To me, that is false entitlement.

[Mal83]

I didn't say that humility was the exclusive purpose of the peace corps. Of course I know people use it for career advancement, experience, and so on. But I don't get the attitude that it entitles you to being accepted or on the waitlist; your original post certainly made it sound like they owe you something. Now, you're right, I don't know anything about the program. If they say they give 'special consideration' which you feel wasn't extended in your case, then fine. You're entitled to feel however you want. But unless they somehow have a policy of accepting all peace corps volunteers regardless, I don't see, frankly, why you're special. Do you think others, those who got in and others rejected, haven't worked just as hard as you and don't deserve it just as much as you? It's a competitive process. Many of us feel like we've worked hard enough and have received rejections. Again, if the process was arbitrary, that is cause for complaint, but only on that basis and not because of your situation. And I'm sorry if I misread your views; I'm only going by what you've said, and it does seem to me that it boils down to "Hey, I was in the peace corps, now accept me. Anything less is an insult." To me, that is false entitlement.

the source of my resentment was not simply rejection by this or that program despite being a PCV, it was the way in which I perceived American's process of filling up all of the acceptances before reviewing thoroughly every single application whether it was submitted the first day possible or on the day of the deadline. That's the slap in the face, that I got in my application just like everyone else but it was just an extra rejection letter for them to send out at the end of the cycle only because I submitted it on the later side. I never declared anger and outrage at my dream school for waitlisting me, I know how they handled their admissions process, I know it was fair, I know my application got just as much review as the others, I've expressed satisfaction that I made it to the waitlist rather than wallowing in anger over not getting an outright acceptance, hence my lack of false entitlement. And yes maybe I do feel deserving of a spot in a graduate program with some kind of international focus, just like everyone else, like you say, who has worked hard in their undergrad career and field in order to compete as well as win their spot at the next level. Why shouldn't we feel deserving? We can't experience anger at rejection for whatever reason? It only has to be "well Ok, I feel fine because obviously everyone else was more qualified then me?" I know we all worked hard, every time someone posts their stats I wonder how the hell I'm going to compete with or stack up against them. I highlighted my PC status because of the special consideration specifically at American in order to illustrate yet another layer of confusion and dissatisfaction over their process..and yes even a tad bit of insult over my own rejection, won't justify my gut reaction to that rejection letter. I'm not going to say with any honesty that it was some honor or privilege just to have had my application reviewed and be content with that. I'll feel how I need to feel about it and move on. You're entitled to boil that down however you like, but this thread is for those who feel dissatisfied or resentful about the process of admissions, results included. "I was in the Peace Corps, now let's begin the welcoming parade" is not my sentiment nor my reason for posting.

[HandsomeNerd]

Mal83, your conjecture about American's admission process is pretty far off the mark. Like you, I submitted my application on the day it was due, but it was the second school I heard back from. It was the first school that I got my formal acceptance package from, with a letter of funding dated March 4. So no, when we submitted our applications has nothing to do with how we were reviewed by the admissions committee. I'm sure both our applications were considered at or around the same time.

It sucks that you didn't make it. And maybe you don't mean to, but I agree with wtncffts when he says you give off an air of entitlement or the impression of being tragically wronged somehow. The director of admissions mentioned, in multiple instances, how this year, they had the biggest and most competitive pool of applicants they've ever had. To be perfectly blunt, if you got rejected, there were surely some areas of your application which could have been more competitive. Do you really feel as if between your GREs/GPA/SOP and recommendations, everything was perfect? I got into most of my schools, and I still feel like I boogered my GREs, that my SOPs were far from my best writing.

You really ought to look inward a little more than you lash outward.

[emmm]

I thought this thread was a place to vent and express anger -- give Mal83 a break . The application process is stressful and all sorts of emotions surface. I'm not surprised Mal83 feels angry or resentful. I can't say I was entirely pleased by the way every program handled my application either ...

[Mal83]

I thought this thread was a place to vent and express anger -- give Mal83 a break . The application process is stressful and all sorts of emotions surface. I'm not surprised Mal83 feels angry or resentful. I can't say I was entirely pleased by the way every program handled my application either ...

Thank you! I thought the same thing, hence expressing myself here.

@ HandsomeNerd: And just to reiterate for the last time, like I said in some form or the other in every post thus far, I got over it quickly and I wasn't outraged or "lashing out" in anyway shape or form, I was mildly irked and slightly resentful. And yes, anger was something I started to feel toward the end of the waiting process and through registering the rejection. Just like EVERYONE else who has posted in this here thread dedicated to "Anger." And through these posts on the subject I feel I have explained myself thoroughly enough. So yet again, "I was in the PC, gimmee gimmee" is NOT how I meant to come off. Again, like I said at least twice already, of course I did not know exactly how it all went down inside the admissions committee's room, I never said that I did. But based off of all the chatter and theorizing going on in the "American SIS" thread that's what it felt like...I did NOT just dream this up in order to mask my own rejection. This should have been clear based on the fact that I used phrases such as "it seemed, it felt like, and I perceived..." If it wasn't how it actually was, and I acknowledge that there is a real good chance that it wasn't, I'm fine with it...now. In my original post I used the past tense to describe how I felt about it and the "I got over it" at the end should have been a good clue that I no longer have any feelings about it or anything close to entitlement.

There was nothing in my original post to indicate that I felt "Tragically wronged." That is over the top, as is the idea that I'm lashing out, the fact that I expressed my dissatisfaction, like so many others have done here, is a far cry from lashing outward. That would be over dramatizing what I've said. I'm also well aware of the flaws in my application, no reminders necessary. And at first I was peeved that you'd suggest I need to "look inward," but now I've decided it's really just comical that you feel I should reassess my own personal feelings on something that happened to me...OK, if I'm being honest I'm still peeved, I have never even thought of telling anyone in this forum to do such a thing...we're all here to rant, vent, and purge our frustrations as well as share experiences in order to inform each other. In a thread called "Anger, anyone?" I don't feel it's anyone's place to judge how others experience any part of this process, especially after several posts have gone by dedicated to clarifying what I meant and what I didn't mean. If you consider me defending, clarifying and justifying my expressions based on my experience in response to being judged as lashing outward, then perhaps you ought not cast reproachments such as the one you cast at me at the end of your post because it came off as rather smug and self-righteous.

Edited April 17, 2011 by Mal83

[Owlie]

A lot of my anger is self-directed--if only I had had a better idea of just how crazy and competitive this process was, I could have/would have/should have done X or Y or Z.

I am a little angry with the one program which has said nothing...even after I e-mailed and called. Is it too much to send a two-sentence e-mail?

Anger is too strong a word for what was my top school. I'm just a little confused as to their recruitment process. The grad coordinator said explicitly (in an unofficial capacity, mind) that they prefer taking local students because they're more likely to go. ("Local students", of course, generally means "their own students.") (Since it's a state university, I'm sure there are cost reasons too.) There were six spots in that program. Four of those at the interview session were from that town, did their undergrad at that university, and did research in that department. If they prefer to take their own students (and they're more likely to go) why hold interview weekends and spend money on hotels, airfare and so forth for people whom they are going to reject anyway? I'm sure there are reasons for it (gauging fit with the department, for example), but then there's the issue of taking your own students...

[wtncffts]

Thank you! I thought the same thing, hence expressing myself here.

@ HandsomeNerd: And just to reiterate for the last time, like I said in some form or the other in every post thus far, I got over it quickly and I wasn't outraged or "lashing out" in anyway shape or form, I was mildly irked and slightly resentful. And yes, anger was something I started to feel toward the end of the waiting process and through registering the rejection. Just like EVERYONE else who has posted in this here thread dedicated to "Anger." And through these posts on the subject I feel I have explained myself thoroughly enough. So yet again, "I was in the PC, gimmee gimmee" is NOT how I meant to come off. Again, like I said at least twice already, of course I did not know exactly how it all went down inside the admissions committee's room, I never said that I did. But based off of all the chatter and theorizing going on in the "American SIS" thread that's what it felt like...I did NOT just dream this up in order to mask my own rejection. This should have been clear based on the fact that I used phrases such as "it seemed, it felt like, and I perceived..." If it wasn't how it actually was, and I acknowledge that there is a real good chance that it wasn't, I'm fine with it...now. In my original post I used the past tense to describe how I felt about it and the "I got over it" at the end should have been a good clue that I no longer have any feelings about it or anything close to entitlement.

There was nothing in my original post to indicate that I felt "Tragically wronged." That is over the top, as is the idea that I'm lashing out, the fact that I expressed my dissatisfaction, like so many others have done here, is a far cry from lashing outward. That would be over dramatizing what I've said. I'm also well aware of the flaws in my application, no reminders necessary. And at first I was peeved that you'd suggest I need to "look inward," but now I've decided it's really just comical that you feel I should reassess my own personal feelings on something that happened to me...OK, if I'm being honest I'm still peeved, I have never even thought of telling anyone in this forum to do such a thing...we're all here to rant, vent, and purge our frustrations as well as share experiences in order to inform each other. In a thread called "Anger, anyone?" I don't feel it's anyone's place to judge how others experience any part of this process, especially after several posts have gone by dedicated to clarifying what I meant and what I didn't mean. If you consider me defending, clarifying and justifying my expressions based on my experience in response to being judged as lashing outward, then perhaps you ought not cast reproachments such as the one you cast at me at the end of your post because it came off as rather smug and self-righteous.

Since I seemed to have stirred up something, let me try to end it. I certainly agree that, in such a thread as this and anywhere, really, it's nobody's place to tell you how to feel. As I said in my earlier post, you can feel however you want; I couldn't change it if I wanted to. And you're absolutely free to express your frustrations, anger and resentment. But I also don't think it's out of line for others to question the reasons and motivations for those emotions. After all, this is a discussion forum, not a monologue. If I said that I was really angry and felt insulted about not being accepted to School X because my parents were big donors to the school, I think anyone would be perfectly justified in commenting that that was a lousy reason to feel this way, that I had an undue sense of entitlement to an acceptance.

Of course, I'm not comparing this example to the Peace Corps; I can certainly see that Peace Corps experience would be a substantial positive in international development programs. And I certainly understand your point that this was a report of your experiences through the process and that you've moved past it. I was only drawn to respond to your comment about 'feeling insulted by not being at least waitlisted'because of your Peace Corps work, especially when you added the part about, as I read it, 'America values us enough to waive our application fees but not to accept us' (which sounded almost like they were being anti-American in doing so), because it read as entitlement, which is one of the things that irks me the most. As I said earlier, if you had some reason to think that your being in the Peace Corps somehow guaranteed admission, then you'd be perfectly justified in being angry at a rejection. Assuming the absence of that reason, I feel it's legitimate to question why you should feel resentment or anger. That's all. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in the program you'll be going to.

[Mal83]

@wtncffts: That's fine really, if you were irked at something I said and how I said it then it's not my place to tell you to not feel that way or that your gut reaction was wrong. And yes I found the lecture by you and HandsomeNerd irritating especially because in post after post I've been attempting to clear up my intentions, what I meant and how I meant it. And I passionately did so in order to diminish the impression that I'm some spoiled entitled jerk. This process, as almost everyone would probably agree with, is long and emotionally arduous. All of that stuff was swirling around in my head in regards to that particular school, whether it was true, perceived, or totally misguided it was still there driving me crazy. And I've said several times, I'm aware that it was mostly perceived. Overall I wasn't pleased with American's process, which I've stated in a past post in this thread before I got my decision. If I felt any sense of entitlement I'd have major complaints about every school I applied to, twas not the case. But I won't apologize for or further justify my emotions and reactions to the various stages of this process,other than I never said or thought that being in the PC guaranteed admission, but yes I felt confident in my application as a whole, hence the negative reaction to the decision. Other than that I feel I have clarified enough already. Just for the record, the anti-American thing is so far off the mark that we can't even see it anymore...yikes, that would be insane if that actually entered my mind, thank god it didn't because that would be a sign something is really wrong with me. The answer I have to the legitimate "why I felt anger, resentment, slight insult" question is probably, well obviously not satisfactory, I just did, that's all...but as I've said over and over again it was mild and brief, if I believed myself so entitled I'd still be dwelling on it and most likely expressing outrage. But anyway, I simply didn't appreciate the Dr. Phil moment from HN, "I ought to look inward more than I lash outward," like what the F, who's lashing out? So I've said my bit and you've said yours.

And yes, good luck to you too...we'll both be fine I'm sure.

Edited April 17, 2011 by Mal83

[treefus]

Has anyone else had a ton of trouble securing funding?

I got accepted to three of the schools I applied to, rejected to one. All the schools were midwestern state universities. The one I got rejected to had 600 applicants for 25 spots, and I'm going for statistics, so I never imagined that kind of competition. Anyway, two of the three schools had their budget slashed to the point where they weren't even sure how they were going to offer TA's, and they told me they couldn't make any decisions until June due to budgetary issues. The fourth school I got full funding from, which I accepted in a heartbeat, but a lot of my friends graduating next year are scared to death because I had the best resume(3.74GPA in major, 1310GRE and REU exp.) of us. It makes me angry to see that so many qualified people aren't even going to get the opportunity because of the insane competition, and budget cuts. Did anyone else run into that issue or was it just me?