Live with one of your incoming classmen?

[neuropsych76]

So my school just sent out everyone's email for the incoming cohort (with their permission) to try us to get to know each other and maybe find a roommate.

At first it sounds like a great idea as we are all making a major transition. But is it risky to live with someone in your cohort? What if it doesn't work out? I've had some pretty bad roommates so I was just wondering about it.

Anyone have any horror stories or constructive advice?

thank you!

[singlecell]

Maybe this isn't constructive advice per se, but I have the same fears. I think is is very risky! The same thing happened with my incoming group, and I bet they are all lovely people, but I just can't do it. I figure I will spend a lot of time with them without also living with some of them.

[beanbagchairs]

I received a similar email from my department's administrative assistant.

Personally, I dont want to live with my cohort or other students in my program. It's nothing against them. I just like to meet/have other people as roomies. I dont want to be constantly reminded with school 24/7. That said, I also prefer to live in a place that requires as *short* commute. I find commuting rather enjoyable.

[hejduk]

While it sounds like a good idea, I'd avoid it personally. You want to keep those people at arm's length until you find your place within the program. Nothing wrong with making friends with your cohort (which you probably should), but don't get too close!

[fuzzylogician]

Most of the students in my department live with other students, not necessarily from the same year. I live with someone who is a year ahead of me. Most of the time it works out great for everybody, but of course it can sometimes cause difficulties -- just like any roommate situation.

[michpc]

I'll be living with my sister when I move because she also happens to be pursuing a grad degree in the same city. However, if I'd ended up at one of the schools where I knew no one in the city, I was planning to get a studio by myself. I'm 26, and have done the roommate thing for a number of years, and even with great friends, it gets old. I was so OVER it, and would be in a studio right now if I didn't live with my boyfriend. Max I would do would be one roommate, and I'd prefer it be someone not in my program since I'd be spending so much time with them anyway.

[starmaker]

It seems like it would be overwhelming to live with someone who is in the same school situation that you are. You won't be able to ever get away from the department. I'd rather live with a grad student from a different department.

(It's irrelevant for me, as I live with my husband, but I'm talking hypothetically here.)

[neuropsych76]

Thank you for all of your replies!!

I'm glad i'm not the only one who shares these concerns!

I don't think I'd like living with another person in my cohort, especially before I even know them that well.

I'm having a hard time finding an apartment so I just wanted to keep my options open, but rooming with another student in my cohort seems to be a last resort at this point.

[cogscipixie]

I agree with everything that has been said above. A girl that is a 3rd/4th year in my program said that it's best to come home to a place at the end of the day where there are not constant reminders of school. I need my sanity and a place where I can attempt to have a work/life balance, so living in my own place is a plus.

[Tall Chai Latte]

I would say not living with someone from your cohort in the same department/program. While you all are trying to be friends with each other, you probably don't want school drama entering your private life... It could get awkward (say, if you two are competing for that one spot in the same lab)..

[sacklunch]

It's not a big deal. If you are not laid back, then you likely shouldn't live with someone in your program. But as others have said, it will be like any other roommate. You are both busy, and while you both will be going to the "same place," it's doubtful it will make much of a difference in your daily routine. I live with 11 other people (bigass house) from my program, and it's never a problem. But meh, I am extremely laid back.

[runonsentence]

I agree that it's really just like any other roommate situation. I lived with a colleague from my department (whom I had known before coming to the program) last year and I have had plenty of friends in the department room with other grads in our department.

As an incoming student, who doesn't yet have a feel for the department culture or the person you're potentially rooming with, I could perhaps see the hesitation. But I agree that it doesn't have to be a big deal.

[far_to_go]

It really depends on the people involved, of course. Sometimes you get lucky with roommates, and sometimes not.

Personally, I am not living with anyone from my cohort, or even anyone from my department. I would have been open to living with people from my dept when I started, but I'm glad things worked out the way they did. It is nice to be able to feel like there's a change of pace and scene between home and school. I like that two of my roommates are in different departments from me and one actually has a full-time job because I get to have conversations that don't revolve around my field of study! In grad school, having those conversations should not be underestimated.

Also, for what it's worth, two of the girls in my cohort lived together during the first year, and it did not work out well (mostly because one of the girls is rather needy/socially awkward).

[runonsentence]

It really depends on the people involved, of course. Sometimes you get lucky with roommates, and sometimes not.

I think this is really my point, as well. Roommates sometimes work out, and sometimes they don't, period, no matter how you know them.

[juilletmercredi]

A lot of people in both my departments live together, but that's because we don't spend a lot of class time together. In my primary department, it's an interdisciplinary program, with people splitting their time 50% at the main campus in a social science and the other 50% uptown at the medical center campus taking public health courses. With that said, there usually aren't more than 2 people in the same cohort in the same social science department, and they usually don't have the same research interests, which means they aren't really taking the same classes.

And downtown, my psych program is a general one with three different subfields - cognitive, social, or neuroscience. So students within the program would live with each other (sometimes different cohorts), but necessarily someone in your lab, and you'd probably not see them that often in the department with the exception of first-year seminar and maybe passing in the hallways.

You might actually spend less time with your cohort than you actually think. If I lived with a cohort mate now I'd probably only see them at home, and if we had moved together my first year, we probably just would've seen each other at the

I lived with master's students my first three years here (one for two years, one for 10 months.) Now I'm subletting my extra room to a recent graduate doing an internship until the end of August. I'm moving into a studio in early August to take a residence life position with my university, and my lease is up August 31. Although I generally have liked all of my roommates, I'm kind of over it myself, and I'm looking forward to living alone.

[brooksamanda89]

I think this is really my point, as well. Roommates sometimes work out, and sometimes they don't, period, no matter how you know them.

The same thing is in my mind. It doesn’t matter the roommate is form same department/program or not. People around should be joyful & happy to live in group. Someone who is self-centered cannot be a good option as roommate imo…..

[Ennue]

But the thing is, if things don't work out with a roommate that usually creates tension, and if said (ex-)roommate is from your department that can be awkward! So personally I wouldn't like to live with other incoming students from my department. Not because it wouldn't work (it very well might!) but because if it doesn't work, you'll still have to work with them.

[BCHistory]

I lived with a member of my cohort my first year. It was fine, and we both got along great. I don't really see the problem that others are seeing.