Recommender doesn't reply to your inquiry.

[DJS508]

Hey there,

I was looking for a piece on advise on how to proceed with a professor that didn't reply to my inquiry whether he would be inclined to write a letter of recommendation on my behalf to prospective graduate schools.

I worked in this professor's lab over the summer and he encouraged me to apply to the graduate school with which he's affiliated. Furthermore, he offered to review my application for a position in his lab as a prospective graduate student. I e-mailed him with a question for a recommendation but haven't heard back from him yet. I am not sure whether I should re-resent my question again, pretending that "sometimes my mailbox fails to deliver my messages" or this means that he's not interested in providing me with a letter. Any thoughts? Ideas?

[cunninlynguist]

Don't give up -- when exactly did you send the original e-mail?

If it's been over a week or so, go right ahead and re-send your inquiry. It sounds as if he'd be willing to write a LOR for you, so I wouldn't regard his lack of response as a lack of interest. He's probably just been swamped with other things.

[DJS508]

Thank you a lot for reply!

It's been about 2 days. I know it sounds horrible that I am already worrying about his lack of response but he's generally the type of person that sleeps with his Blackberry and persistently checks his e-mail. I guess I am too being too overdramatic but then it would be completely strange to offer me to stay in touch and work on my grad school paperwork and then not reply.

[maeisenb]

Leave it alone until at least a week passes. 2 days is really nothing, even if he sleeps by his blackberry since he might know he needs a longer response. Plus, he might be on vacation, dealing with family stuff, etc. There must be times when you don't respond to something in 2 days...

[DJS508]

Thank you

Do you guys think it would be better to make a phone call the next time I want to inquire him about the letter or even visit him in person? He works in Boston and I am from New York City so it is not a quick train ride yet we all know how professors like to change their mind in a matter of minutes.

[Khayzuran]

I'm considering contacting 5 professors. That way I'm bound to have at least 3 in December. Or if they all show up, they can help take the burden of each other. Right?

[orst11]

definit

Do you guys think it would be better to make a phone call the next time I want to inquire him about the letter or even visit him in person? He works in Boston and I am from New York City so it is not a quick train ride yet we all know how professors like to change their mind in a matter of minutes.

If distance is an issue, send an email or call first. I know this all to well as my recs are not only far from where I currently live but all of them live far away from each other. Truthfully, reminder emails or phone calls are important as well because with some professors the emails just get lost in their mailbox.

I'm considering contacting 5 professors. That way I'm bound to have at least 3 in December. Or if they all show up, they can help take the burden of each other. Right?

This can be good. I know I have 4 people willing to write recs possibly a 5th if I would ask. The thing is some people have more connections to given programs which can be useful. Also, any way you can help reduce stress both for you and your recs during the admission cycle is a good option.

.

Edited October 11, 2011 by orst11

[ktel]

Sigh...people expect instant responses these days. Two days is nothing, give him some time.

[butterfingers2010]

I'm sure he is just busy, or sick, or not checking e-mails right now, or something...I don't think he would offer to write you a letter and then blow you off when you request it. Just be patient and if things don't pan out after a couple of weeks, you could try following up with a phone call or another e-mail.

[sarakeet]

I had this problem--after about a week, I contacted the professor by another e-mail address. I copied and pasted the original e-mail with a short note at the beginning saying that since I hadn't heard from him, I wasn't sure if he had received my first one. I was really nervous too, but his reply was along the lines of, "No, I didn't get it, and of course I'd be happy to write recommendations for you!" And I felt pretty crazy for even worrying about it. Soooo... I'd just wait a couple more days and then e-mail him again at that e-mail, or another e-mail, or call his office and say something like, "Hi, I sent you an e-mail the other day regarding my grad school applications, but I never got a response, so I was wondering if I was using the right address." Anyway good luck!

[DJS508]

Thanks guys! This is pretty freaky because, on the one hand, you feel confident that you will have all the support you need when the time comes to file your application but then, on the other hand, when you start seriously talking about it, many of your plans start shifting. Yikes. Crazy life.

[Sigaba]

DJ!

Do not psych yourself out on this issue. Take a step back, relax for a moment, and then revisit your conversations with the guy and READ BETWEEN THE LINES.

By my reading of your initial post, the professor is sending you a strong signal that you're probably going to get into his program.

Yes, you should follow up, but give him some space and do not follow up in a way that you're going to give him an opportunity to change his view.

More generally, I strongly believe that many members of this BB are unduly freaking themselves out over the application process. Yes, the process is stressful. Yes, there are more unknowns than knowns. Yes, the GRE can be a meat grinder. Yes, writing SoPs can be an excruciating exercise. Yes, it can often boil down to chance. Yes, you are all competing against other applicants who may be better fits for a program. Yes, there are probably other applicants "out there" who are 'ten feet tall' and know it, and will have their pick of schools.

All that aside, I beseech all of you to draw more confidence from what you've accomplished thus far in your academic careers. Understand the fact that the reputation of a graduate program is largely made by its students. Consider the possibility that--even if you don't get into your first choice --you will get in to a good program, that you will find ways to finance your education, that you will have wonderful opportunities to build life long friendships, and that you will get to pursue knowledge for its own sake.

(And from there, all of you--as well as those who are ten feet tall--will find yourselves chew toys of professors, befuddled by what you read, endlessly stressed out about qualifying exams, and beside yourselves with grief as you write your dissertations. )

HTH.

[DJS508]

I am getting very sweet responses! You guys rock!

I am actually glad grad school applications drive me crazy a bit because it is a positive stress. Writing your personal and research statement is actually one of the most intellectually stimulating experiences I've had over the course of my academic career because I can finally realize what I've been working for in the past three years. Yet when you come to the point where you're just THIS close from realizing your big plans - your mind starts to flip and wonder.

At the end of the day, I think we all get our little craziness about whether "we are a good fit." It certainly becomes too overwhelming at times and it prompts me, and I assume others, too, do wonder how we really match up with the pre-set expectations of the faculty and the school we are applying to.

I like to joke about how I will engage myself in some mindless occupation if I don't make it... but then, it's my little, annoying [everyday] banter.

[habanero]

What was the email? I was in a very similar position. My first email simply asked if the rec could write me a letter. The second email was around 4 paragraphs long and detailed why I wanted the letter and the research I'd done for the prof. It got a response within a day. I'd wait a little bit, but make your second email very formal and act very professional when asking.

[butterfingers2010]

DJ!

Do not psych yourself out on this issue. Take a step back, relax for a moment, and then revisit your conversations with the guy and READ BETWEEN THE LINES.

By my reading of your initial post, the professor is sending you a strong signal that you're probably going to get into his program.

Yes, you should follow up, but give him some space and do not follow up in a way that you're going to give him an opportunity to change his view.

More generally, I strongly believe that many members of this BB are unduly freaking themselves out over the application process. Yes, the process is stressful. Yes, there are more unknowns than knowns. Yes, the GRE can be a meat grinder. Yes, writing SoPs can be an excruciating exercise. Yes, it can often boil down to chance. Yes, you are all competing against other applicants who may be better fits for a program. Yes, there are probably other applicants "out there" who are 'ten feet tall' and know it, and will have their pick of schools.

All that aside, I beseech all of you to draw more confidence from what you've accomplished thus far in your academic careers. Understand the fact that the reputation of a graduate program is largely made by its students. Consider the possibility that--even if you don't get into your first choice --you will get in to a good program, that you will find ways to finance your education, that you will have wonderful opportunities to build life long friendships, and that you will get to pursue knowledge for its own sake.

(And from there, all of you--as well as those who are ten feet tall--will find yourselves chew toys of professors, befuddled by what you read, endlessly stressed out about qualifying exams, and beside yourselves with grief as you write your dissertations. )

HTH.

Thanks so much for giving us all some perspective on this craziness known as grad school applications. Lately, I have found myself flipping out over the most minute details of my applications. It sucks to realize that you can't control everything but it helps to know that you've done you're best and that ultimately, what will happen in the end is really little more than fate. I'm a strong believer that what is meant to be, will be, and you should just forget about the rest.

I actually had a really comforting dream the other night, in which it was next September and I was walking around the campus of one of the schools I am applying to. I remember feeling so happy because it was a beautiful day and I had finally made it through the application grind and was starting a new chapter in my life. Sadly this was not my first choice school, but one I would be happy to attend nonetheless. I don't know how much stock you should put in dreams but I am hoping its a good sign.

[DJS508]

What was the email? I was in a very similar position. My first email simply asked if the rec could write me a letter. The second email was around 4 paragraphs long and detailed why I wanted the letter and the research I'd done for the prof. It got a response within a day. I'd wait a little bit, but make your second email very formal and act very professional when asking.

My e-mail was, I think, very sweet Of course, joking. I addressed the professor with basic introductory reminder abut who I was, then I elaborated on the fact that I am applying for admissions this fall and that all of my schools required additional supporting materials, such as letters of recommendation. I proceeded to ask him whether he would feel comfortable writing a letter on my behalf. I also mentioned that he offered me a spot in his lab a month ago and that I would feel glad to join his team, assuming that I would be admitted. Lastly, I briefly summarized everything, thanked, and did little "Sincerely..." and now waiting! I know this is being overdramatic but most universities that I am applying to clearly state that recommendations are the single, most important factor in review (and this is applicable to most Ivy League colleges).

[loulou29]

Hey DJ!

I'm in a similar situation as well I keep checking my e-mail to see if the professor has replied yet. I sent one e-mail at the end of September and a follow-up on Friday.

I think it's definitely easy for us to get caught up in this grad app bubble and think that everyone else is trapped here with us. Just got to wait it out (and think of a plan

Hopefully all of us out there waiting for LOR confirmations will get them soon

Edited October 18, 2011 by loulou29

[DJS508]

.... it doesn't take that much effort to even say "NO." It appears that many, many people complain of professors totally ignoring their e-mails. I assume that's a new way to encourage growth of wisdom.

[flagler20]

What is wrong with professors?????? After reading all these e-mails about applicants failing to hear back from LOR requestees I thought "pity those folk, I don't have anything to worry about". Afterall, I'm requesting LORs from my commitee members for my masters thesis, which I just completed only a few months ago. So I send two of them e-mails 2 weeks ago and wouldn't you know it, I'm cursed as well. Must be something I caught by coming here. Seriously though, one professor missing the e-mail I could understand. But both of them....? And hearing how common this is from other applicants on this board? If it's not some cruel etiquette recently adopted to ignore students who you'd otherwise say no to then I think it certainly calls for some completely new paradigm of email interface and rules for sorting that important messages aren't so easily lost. I'm dumbfounded.

[Bayo]

I sent three emails back in August. Two responded by the next day. The third hadn't wrote me back after a week, so I sent it right back to her again. She wrote me back within a couple of hours that time: "Sorry, but I have been EXTREMELY busy" (that's right - all caps). So she did see the original email, just didn't reply. Anyway, I apologized for disturbing her, she assured me it was no problem, it would be her pleasure, etc. etc.

So don't get too perturbed by silence; they're busy people. Also, if you're like me and naturally diffident, you equate a lack of a response with a no. But sometimes you have to be persistent.

However, I do have one who agreed instantly but who isn't sending the damned things in now, and that has me nervous. I was hoping he would write it over fall break, but I guess not. And now I'm remembering that he was horrible about handing back papers in a reasonable amount of time. I just keep reminding myself that there's plenty of time.

Ack. This whole process is so inhumane.

Edited October 19, 2011 by Bayo

[DJS508]

Hot update: I got email today from my professor stating that the letter is ready and waiting

[butterfingers2010]

What is wrong with professors?????? After reading all these e-mails about applicants failing to hear back from LOR requestees I thought "pity those folk, I don't have anything to worry about". Afterall, I'm requesting LORs from my commitee members for my masters thesis, which I just completed only a few months ago. So I send two of them e-mails 2 weeks ago and wouldn't you know it, I'm cursed as well. Must be something I caught by coming here. Seriously though, one professor missing the e-mail I could understand. But both of them....? And hearing how common this is from other applicants on this board? If it's not some cruel etiquette recently adopted to ignore students who you'd otherwise say no to then I think it certainly calls for some completely new paradigm of email interface and rules for sorting that important messages aren't so easily lost. I'm dumbfounded.

Wow at first I thought "there must be something wrong with me" since I also had two professors just completely ignore my requests for LOR's, but now I am seeing that this is commonplace. I also had one professor who agreed to write me a letter, then just ignored further follow-up e-mails I sent her. Even if you are lucky enough to get people to agree to writer your letters, it is a miracle if they are completed and sent in on time! Would a simple "yes" or "no" answer be too much to ask for? Especially when the request is over e-mail, making it easier to feel comfortable saying "no." Heck, you could even say "no" but come up with some plausable excuse, such as not having enough time to write a letter, just to make saying "no" even easier. Anything other than just completely ignoring someone and leaving them hanging!

I think the most frustrating thing about this ridiculous process known as the LOR is that you are relying on other people to complete a major component of your application for you. Not to mention these are people that may not have been in your life for a considerable time, potentially making them feel less obligated to follow through. Yes, having good references is important and can be helpful in the decision-making process but with LOR's a lot of it is left up to luck, I think. You could be an excellent student who is personable, hard-working and knew the professor well, but if your professor is a flake then you're screwed! It's like we're getting punished for having had inconsiderate professors, which is totally ridiculous. Maybe I am just jaded after all the difficulties I have had lining up LOR's, but based on the postings on these forums it seems to be a common issue. I think grad schools need to rethink the way they handle references because with LOR's you are putting a major portion of the application in the hands of someone other than the applicant, and shouldn't the applicant have every opportunity to ensure their application is complete? In most cases, a missing LOR results in an automatic rejection from grad school, and I think its really unjust because its not a poor reflection on the applicant but rather on their professor/supervisor/whoever flaked out on writing the letter.

[Safferz]

I decided to just show up during the professor's office hours (who didn't reply to my email in September, or my follow up earlier this month), and the first thing he said was "I owe you an email!" I'm glad to have gotten that out of the way, but I sense that I'll have to badger my referees over the next six weeks to make sure the letters are actually in on time. I suggest those of you who can make use of a professor's office hours do so -- often they'll read the email and simply forget that they didn't reply.

[maeisenb]

I would caution people to be too harsh in many of these instances. Professors aren't in "typical" office jobs where, as many of you know I'm sure, you literally sit on Outlook or Gmail all day long emailing people as your job. They have quite a number of things they are juggling at one time, so some of them aren't as fast as you might be with responding. Just think, the entire process using hard copy applications used to be the norm until not that long ago (15 years?), so it's at least easier now where they just get an email from the school rather than having to send them a packet with stuff.

Not to say that you shouldn't keep following up (and seeing them in person), but just some stuff to keep in mind.

[flagler20]

I think there's two issues here though. Some people are talking about professors being dangerously tardy with completion of the actual letter, while others are complaining about not getting any reply whatsoever. There's no excuse for the latter. Unless the professor is uncomfortable with writing the letter but wants to stew it over for a bit before committing to the job then it takes literally seconds to reply "sure, no problem, I'm a bit busy though so it may take a couple months...". But even if they are uncomfortable it's better for everyone if they are just honest about it.