Post-Acceptance Stress & Misc. Banter

[bluecheese]

Sexier in a Milton Friedman Shock Doctrine sort of way?

[bfat]

 I've now been rejected by more than half of the schools I've applied to.  Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful to have one solid acceptance... I guess I just thought I'd be doing better, since this is my second try and I put so much more into it this year.  To make things worse, everybody keeps telling me that they know I must be really excited.  I am happy to know I'm going somewhere, but I'd like to feel like I have some more control over the situation and that I won't have to take the only offer I get.

 

Yup. I feel ya exactly. Like really exactly. Four rejections this week, and only 1 acceptance so far. I keep thinking, "What if it was a mistake?" And also, horribly, "Maybe the program isn't that good, if they accepted me." Even though I know that empirically it's pretty good.

 

But yeah. This shit is hard.

[lisajay]

So, I'm not having a good day. Impostor syndrome is hitting big time, especially when I see how many people have multiple acceptances and I've been slammed with four rejections in the last week. I've now been rejected by more than half of the schools I've applied to. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful to have one solid acceptance... I guess I just thought I'd be doing better, since this is my second try and I put so much more into it this year. To make things worse, everybody keeps telling me that they know I must be really excited. I am happy to know I'm going somewhere, but I'd like to feel like I have some more control over the situation and that I won't have to take the only offer I get.

http://media.tumblr.com/ec5d322d4f9083428c01314219e7f0fe/tumblr_inline_mfglkk3Tjz1r7j4bg.gif

Question: did you submit the same WS to all of the programs to which you applied? I did, because I knew objectively it was the best & most polished piece I had. But my sole acceptance is from the only program that was honestly a good fit for my WS. Strategically, I know that wasn't wise, but I'm also completely satisfied because that's my first choice. Curious if maybe something similar is going on with you. I doubt you're an imposter. It's a fit, not a fluke

[Datatape]

Question: did you submit the same WS to all of the programs to which you applied? I did, because I knew objectively it was the best & most polished piece I had. But my sole acceptance is from the only program that was honestly a good fit for my WS. Strategically, I know that wasn't wise, but I'm also completely satisfied because that's my first choice. Curious if maybe something similar is going on with you. I doubt you're an imposter. It's a fit, not a fluke

 

Mostly yes, but not to all.  I submitted a pared down version of my thesis, which I know is the strongest piece of writing I have.  One program said the WS could not be any more than fifteen pages whatsoever and one program mandated two WSs, so I submitted a shorter, not-as-strong WS with those applications.  I got rejected by both of those.  But I don't think the WS had anything specifically to do with my reactions from the other programs, because my WS honestly wasn't a great fit for my one acceptance and my two waitlisted schools are drastically different in what they were looking for.

[lisajay]

Fair enough. I still feel confident that your acceptance is well deserved. Your quick wit throughout your posts seems indicative of your personality if not your scholarship, & I get a good vibe off it. As far as rejections, this entire process is just such a crapshoot. It's ok to be sad when you get a rejection, but don't let that cloud the big picture. You're good enough, you're smart enough, & gosh-darnit, people like you.

[Datatape]

Fair enough. I still feel confident that your acceptance is well deserved. Your quick wit throughout your posts seems indicative of your personality if not your scholarship, & I get a good vibe off it. As far as rejections, this entire process is just such a crapshoot. It's ok to be sad when you get a rejection, but don't let that cloud the big picture. You're good enough, you're smart enough, & gosh-darnit, people like you.

 

[Ategenos]

This is nice advice, thanks. What if you're leaning toward one school, and two have recruitment days on the same date?

 

See if you could visit the other one on another day. If they want you, they'll probably be willing to at least let you pop in, speak to some faculty and students, etc.

[NowMoreSerious]

I think my set of acceptances and rejections makes for an interesting case study, and after this is all over I am going to make a long post about it. I bring it up because I think it pertains to "fit," what factors certain schools must weigh, and what I set out to do at the beginning of this application season and how it has fared so far.

Ultimately, I applied to 16 schools, but had I only applied to 8, it is entirely possible I would have struck out completely this season, which sounds absurd since I have 7 acceptances. But some of my earlier versions of my school lists would have resulted in complete strikeout for me, and I probably, honestly, would have given up. So for people with 1 or 2 acceptances, I really think it's somewhat random and if things fell differently here and there you would have several more options.

Edited February 24, 2013 by ImWantHazPhD

[Porridge]

So, I'm not having a good day.  Impostor syndrome is hitting big time, especially when I see how many people have multiple acceptances and I've been slammed with four rejections in the last week.  I've now been rejected by more than half of the schools I've applied to.  Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful to have one solid acceptance... I guess I just thought I'd be doing better, since this is my second try and I put so much more into it this year.  To make things worse, everybody keeps telling me that they know I must be really excited.  I am happy to know I'm going somewhere, but I'd like to feel like I have some more control over the situation and that I won't have to take the only offer I get.

 

Even with 7 acceptances, I suspect you would feel still like an imposter. First, you deserve your offer. Clearly, you are a penetrating scholar - your writing style on this site betrays clean judgement and cogent ideas.

 

This admissions process is essentially uncontrollable. Too many applicants are vying for a few places and universities will turn away excellent candidates because, in these fiscally-dubious times, they cannot afford them.

 

Aint nothung to do wif you, sweets. Just keep on being brilliant.

[Ategenos]

So for people with 1 or 2 acceptances, I really think it's somewhat random and if things fell differently here and there you would have several more options.

 

Yup, this is established. For one thing, your success very much depends on who is on the adcom that year (obviously it helps if your POI(s) are on the adcom and you have had good communication with them, for example). I've also been told by someone who was privy to the whole experience that to be accepted you have to have at least one person pushing for you, and NOBODY with any doubts. Then it also depends what the department is looking for in that particular year; maybe they have enough <insert specialty here> and you're just unlucky to be one of them - I know that this happened with at least one university I applied to, because when I went to visit they said they really weren't wanting any Victorianists this year.

 

Then of course there's the well-known fact that there are more supremely qualified applicants than there are spaces. This means that really minor things might make you the favoured choice over someone else: maybe in your SoP you stated that you thought Derrida was a hack who has had too much time and effort focused on him, and that really gelled with the adcom (although it's probably better to hold in such strident opinions until one is actually admitted). Heck, maybe they even just read your application first, and completely subconsciously were then defending it from the other applications for the rest of the process just because of the weird way the human brain works. Maybe you went to meet the department before/during applications and made a good (intelligent and chummy) impression, and this could have easily been a deciding factor... or maybe they know your letter writers very well; it might not be right, but human beings usually can't avoid being biased. Having a group of people is meant to avoid this, but it only ameliorates it to a degree. Then there's also pedigree which, for many of the top programs especially, does play a part; not a whole part, as some people think, but it can definitely open doors.

 

Having now gone through this thing twice, I think the only thing you can do is put out the best application that you possibly can. This means an immense amount of individual tailoring, and includes things like getting in touch with (and potentially visiting) the department. Even then, so many factors completely outside your control can trash your chances.

[Two Espressos]

One of my biggest surprises when reading posts on this forum has been the extent of the negativity directed at Chicago. Two of my close friends from undergrad are currently pursuing English doctorates at Chicago, and I have heard almost exclusively great things about the department from both. One of my recommenders (a relatively big scholar of modern poetry) told me that he believes it's "hands down" the most exciting English department in the country, with a rigorous and (mostly) supportive graduate program to boot.

 

Lots of us on here have been told things like Chicago is deadly competitive/cutthroat, a "den of vipers," etc.  I wonder why so many of us hear things like this?  I think Chicago is really a top-notch place though, so I agree with your LOR writer.

 

So, I'm not having a good day.  Impostor syndrome is hitting big time, especially when I see how many people have multiple acceptances and I've been slammed with four rejections in the last week.  I've now been rejected by more than half of the schools I've applied to.  Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful to have one solid acceptance... I guess I just thought I'd be doing better, since this is my second try and I put so much more into it this year.  To make things worse, everybody keeps telling me that they know I must be really excited.  I am happy to know I'm going somewhere, but I'd like to feel like I have some more control over the situation and that I won't have to take the only offer I get.

 

Yup. I feel ya exactly. Like really exactly. Four rejections this week, and only 1 acceptance so far. I keep thinking, "What if it was a mistake?" And also, horribly, "Maybe the program isn't that good, if they accepted me." Even though I know that empirically it's pretty good.

 

But yeah. This shit is hard.

 

Now imagine having no acceptances and only one waitlist--albeit a likely-to-convert one at an awesome school.  I'm extremely happy and excited to visit, but I keep worrying that I'll look like an idiot at the open house next month...

[yellow.wallpaper]

So far, I only have my UW-Madison acceptance. Still waiting to hear back from three other schools.

 

Could anyone provide some advice regarding Madison: the university experience?

[bluecheese]

In regard to UW Madison:

 

I've heard nothing but great things about the program -- a variety of classes, a required minor (that can really benefit your research), great placement, etc.

 

That said, funding in the first year can be troublesome. I know a few people who had to fight for 8k a year stipends for office jobs for the first year (after that, I think the stipend is 14-16k depending on what you're teaching).

[yellow.wallpaper]

In regard to UW Madison:

 

I've heard nothing but great things about the program -- a variety of classes, a required minor (that can really benefit your research), great placement, etc.

 

That said, funding in the first year can be troublesome. I know a few people who had to fight for 8k a year stipends for office jobs for the first year (after that, I think the stipend is 14-16k depending on what you're teaching).

Thank you!! I was nominated for a fellowship, but still no word about funding. :'(

[antihumanist]

Hi there!

 

Thanks for the thoughts. I will be unable to visit since I'm not in the country but I am speaking to faculty and grads at both places. I treat the negative attention directed towards UChicago with a grain of salt and I prefer to trust my gut. From my conversations thus far, it seems to be a supportive environment. I wouldn't expect a coddling environment. Instead, I demand an intellectually challenging environment with opportunities for collaboration.

 

That said...I don't know what to do yet!

On a lighter note, a year ago I saw a CFP for the first ever "Jersey Shore" conference and the school hosting it was Chicago.

 

Pulled it from the depths of the internet for proof: http://call-for-papers.sas.upenn.edu/node/41524

 

If this is a good or bad thing towards your opinion of the school, I leave to you.  But well, lets just say that the people there are either really bleeding edge, have a great sense of humor, some of both, or all of neither.

[Swagato]

The JS conference was largely tongue-in-cheek. But, it was also extremely interesting and handled with the typical Chicago rigor.

[Sursie]

Talk about some post-acceptance stress...

 

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2013/02/oscars-2013-jennifer-lawrence-trips-on-her-way-to-collect-best-actress-award/

 

[Troppman]

Anyone else prepping to defend a thesis? 

[ErnestPWorrell]

Anyone else prepping to defend a thesis? 

Yes. Or, at least, that's what I'm supposed to be doing.

[bfat]

Anyone else prepping to defend a thesis? 

 

 

Yes. Or, at least, that's what I'm supposed to be doing.

 

Haha, yes and yes. I am failing miserably and about to be in a world of pain. World of pain, Donny.

[Datatape]

Oof.  I did the thesis defense last year this time.  For those of you going through this, two pieces of advice: (1) give yourself enough time for emergency last-minute revisions and (2) invest in Tums.

[ErnestPWorrell]

Haha, yes and yes. I am failing miserably and about to be in a world of pain. World of pain, Donny.

That was supposed to be an up vote but I'm stupid and sloppy and sorry.

[ProfLorax]

I just need a space to exhale, so here I go...

 

I'm freaking out, ya'll. I feel so fortunate to have options, but now those options are paralyzing me with uncertainty. What if I make the wrong choice? What if I ruin the great life that my partner and I have here in California? I plan on visiting all the schools to which I've been accepted, and I believe those visits will help clarify where I belong... but what if they don't?! Am I being selfish in relocating my little family across the country to pursue a career I believe, deep down inside, will be challenging and fulfilling in a way no other career could?

 

The rational side of my brain knows that everything will work out. I have been accepted to great programs, so maybe there really isn't a wrong choice. But the fact that my whole life is about to change, and so is my partner's, is finally becoming real to me. I think I'm going to have to start running again this week to clear my head.

 

Thanks for listening, everyone. I'm grateful to have this space to emotionally vomit when needed.

[bfat]

I just need a space to exhale, so here I go...

 

I'm freaking out, ya'll. I feel so fortunate to have options, but now those options are paralyzing me with uncertainty. What if I make the wrong choice? What if I ruin the great life that my partner and I have here in California? I plan on visiting all the schools to which I've been accepted, and I believe those visits will help clarify where I belong... but what if they don't?! Am I being selfish in relocating my little family across the country to pursue a career I believe, deep down inside, will be challenging and fulfilling in a way no other career could?

 

The rational side of my brain knows that everything will work out. I have been accepted to great programs, so maybe there really isn't a wrong choice. But the fact that my whole life is about to change, and so is my partner's, is finally becoming real to me. I think I'm going to have to start running again this week to clear my head.

 

Thanks for listening, everyone. I'm grateful to have this space to emotionally vomit when needed.

 

If it helps, prof, I've lived in Maryland all my life, and while UMD-CP is a great school, the DC corridor is a total nightmare. I'm in the Baltimore-DC area right now, and I can't wait to get out. The lifestyle here is just really stressful--insane traffic, fast-paced everything, grumpy people.

 

Amherst, on the other hand, is a haven of free-thinkers, freaks (in a good way), and generally awesome people. Of course, it's also kinda filled with obnoxious hippies, but some people are into that. My sister lived in the 5-colleges area for more than a decade, and I spent many summers of my youth up there. It's laid back and amazing and also clean and beautiful (except Hadley, which smells like manure).

 

I can't say anything about UI-UC, though, sorry.

 

So, if all of the programs are amazing fits, I would turn to what place would make you happiest. Hope this is just a little bit helpful. Good luck!

 

 

ETA: I know this post might have sounded really harsh against Maryland, so keep in mind that I've got the whole "grass is greener" thing going on. There are, of course, some really wonderful aspects to the area as well. I'm just at a point where I'm aiming for (literally) greener pastures, rather than gridlocked beltways.

Edited February 26, 2013 by bfat

[Ategenos]

If it helps, prof, I've lived in Maryland all my life, and while UMD-CP is a great school, the DC corridor is a total nightmare. I'm in the Baltimore-DC area right now, and I can't wait to get out. The lifestyle here is just really stressful--insane traffic, fast-paced everything, grumpy people.

 

Amherst, on the other hand, is a haven of free-thinkers, freaks (in a good way), and generally awesome people. Of course, it's also kinda filled with obnoxious hippies, but some people are into that. My sister lived in the 5-colleges area for more than a decade, and I spent many summers of my youth up there. It's laid back and amazing and also clean and beautiful (except Hadley, which smells like manure).

 

I can't say anything about UI-UC, though, sorry.

 

So, if all of the programs are amazing fits, I would turn to what place would make you happiest. Hope this is just a little bit helpful. Good luck!

 

 

ETA: I know this post might have sounded really harsh against Maryland, so keep in mind that I've got the whole "grass is greener" thing going on. There are, of course, some really wonderful aspects to the area as well. I'm just at a point where I'm aiming for (literally) greener pastures, rather than gridlocked beltways.

 

Hadley is just the place you pass through when you're going between Northampton and Amherst. ;P