Post-Acceptance Stress & Misc. Banter

[asleepawake]

Ya I need this thread. I'm on that "I just want at least a second acceptance to prove its not a fluke" tip... But reading this helps. I had to stay away from this site till I got an acceptance but now I'm enjoying it.

 

Even with two, I'm certain they are mistakes. My name is pretty common... Somebody could easily have entered the wrong e-mail address. 

 

Mostly irrational? Yes. But impossible? Of course not! So a completely normally thing to worry about...

Edited February 10, 2013 by asleepawake

[NowMoreSerious]

Question for everyone: What are the most important criteria you plan to use when choosing a school? I'm going to list soome that I've chosen in hopes people will chime in with their own or with their rank in terms of importance.

-Location: this includes weather, proximity to friends/family/partner, nightlife, city/rural, politics, cost of living.

-Fit: Am I a good fit for the faculty in terms of research interests, theoretical interests, etc.

-Money/Funding: How much are they offering per year, how big is the teaching load, and how many years are usually guaranteed. Also, for summer funding how competitive is it? Or is summer automatic?

-Attention/Advisors: I may be a perfect fit for several professors, but if none of them are really generous with their time or really care about my project, it may be all for naught. Obviously, a lot of what we do is self-started and motivated, but certainly advisors that give you good attention are going to put you at a huge advantage.

-Ranking/prestige/placement: How prestigious is this school? How is their placement record? How well do they train you for the job market?

-ambience/vibes: Are the graduate students hyper-competitive? Collective? Tight knit? Lots of drama in the department? How do the different cohorts treat each other? I'm curious as to what people think about these categories.

Edited February 10, 2013 by ImWantHazPhD

[DontHate]

Question for everyone: What are the most important criteria you plan to use when choosing a school? I'm going to list soome that I've chosen in hopes people will chime in with their own or with their rank in terms of importance.

-Location: this includes weather, proximity to friends/family/partner, nightlife, city/rural, politics, cost of living.

-Fit: Am I a good fit for the faculty in terms of research interests, theoretical interests, etc.

-Money/Funding: How much are they offering per year, how big is the teaching load, and how many years are usually guaranteed. Also, for summer funding how competitive is it? Or is summer automatic?

-Attention/Advisors: I may be a perfect fit for several professors, but if none of them are really generous with their time or really care about my project, it may be all for naught. Obviously, a lot of what we do is self-started and motivated, but certainly advisors that give you good attention are going to put you at a huge advantage.

-Ranking/prestige/placement: How prestigious is this school? How is their placement record? How well do they train you for the job market?

-ambience/vibes: Are the graduate students hyper-competitive? Collective? Tight knit? Lots of drama in the department? How do the different cohorts treat each other? I'm curious as to what people think about these categories.

 

Location is pretty moot for me right now, because all the schools I have left are relatively near each other. And ranking is also pretty even between them, since I only applied to very highly ranked programs -- this also means that the funding packages are relatively the same. So it's all about fit and vibes for me, assuming I have any choices to make. I want to feel like I get along with the place, intellectually and socially -- basically I want to feel like I'll be able to spend 5-7 very productive years there, having great conversations with faculty and other students. I don't need my department to be my best friends (though that would be nice) but I need to feel some sort of immediate connection on my visit, or I won't be inspired and excited to hand my future over to them. Kind of like a first date, right? I want to feel some chemistry.

[Gwendolyn]

Biggest factors for me were probably (in order): 

 

1. Funding (vs. cost of living)
2. Program reputation (includes job placement prospects for graduates)
3. Faculty match
4. Department culture
5. Location

Unfortunately, for me, the best faculty members I find tend to be in the shittiest places. OSU has a good balance of everything. 

Edited February 11, 2013 by Gwendolyn

[Magical Realist]

Even with two, I'm certain they are mistakes. My name is pretty common... Somebody could easily have entered the wrong e-mail address. 

 

Mostly irrational? Yes. But impossible? Of course not! So a completely normally thing to worry about...

 

This. This times infinity. 

 

Friday evening, I got a call from the DGS of one of my reach/dream programs with an offer of admission, plus an incredibly generous funding package. He said I'd be receiving the official offer and information this weekish.  I, of course, was a flabbergasted and incoherent mess on the phone, and so now I'm fairly confident that the official offer will just "get lost in red tape" and I'll never actually see it. And that they'll magically know every school I've applied to, and call their adcoms, to warn them, too. Man 48 hours in and I'm already experiencing impostor syndrome. </crazy neurosis>

 

Also, at this point I realize I should probably be working on getting my house ready to go on the market, getting rid of my excess belongings, and wrapping up loose ends at work. Instead, I'm still lurking on the timesuck that is GC. Sigh.

 

But to add my $.02 to the criteria question:

To me, ranking and placement is absolutely the top consideration. I've been out of school and working in a non-academic field for about 7 years, and so have gained considerable experience in the "what it feels like to do a job that makes you absolutely miserable" department. I want to enjoy graduate school, for sure, but most importantly, I want to be sure I'm well-positioned to be where I want after graduation.

 

Next is location. I, I'll never again be able to have this much say in where I live. May as well take advantage of that.

 

After that, ambiance and vibes are next. 

 

Then, funding (assuming, of course, I'm getting some level of funding. If there's no tuition + stipend, I probably wouldn't even look at it as an offer).

 

Fit I'm not considering because I only applied to schools I felt would be a good fit, and only schools that agreed are going to give me an offer.

[Magical Realist]

Also, Gwendolyn, I remember reading you got into the IU's Gender Studies PhD program. I was there as an undergrad and I just want to mention how absolutely amazing the faculty and resources are. And if you haven't been to Bloomington, IN, you should at least go check it out. Is it in the middle of a vast cultural wasteland? Yes. But is the city itself rich and vibrant and beautiful? Also yes. 

 

I might be biased on this one, of course...

 

 

Biggest factors for me were probably (in order): 

 

1. Funding (vs. cost of living)
2. Program reputation (includes job placement prospects for graduates)
3. Faculty match
4. Department culture
5. Location

Unfortunately, for me, the best faculty members I find tend to be in the shittiest places. OSU has a good balance of everything. 

[Datatape]

1. Fit/faculty match

2. Program ranking/reputation/placement rate

3. Funding

4. Ambiance

5. Location

6. Department culture/size

[Taco Superior]

Even with two, I'm certain they are mistakes. My name is pretty common... Somebody could easily have entered the wrong e-mail address. 

 

Mostly irrational? Yes. But impossible? Of course not! So a completely normally thing to worry about...

 

 

This. This times infinity. 

 

Friday evening, I got a call from the DGS of one of my reach/dream programs with an offer of admission, plus an incredibly generous funding package. He said I'd be receiving the official offer and information this weekish.  I, of course, was a flabbergasted and incoherent mess on the phone, and so now I'm fairly confident that the official offer will just "get lost in red tape" and I'll never actually see it. And that they'll magically know every school I've applied to, and call their adcoms, to warn them, too. Man 48 hours in and I'm already experiencing impostor syndrome. </crazy neurosis>

 

 I've got a good one in terms of "things that will make you paranoid you'll be rejected even though you've been accepted":

 

In my emails back and forth with the grad chair from my one acceptance so far, I mentioned that I have a pre existing medical condition in the context of inquiring about health insurance options. Tonight one of my advisers learned of this and said I shouldn't have told the grad chair that because "in the wrong hands that could be trouble." He went on to explain that once I'm there I'm safe, but that I should wait till I'm there.

 

....Thanks Mr. Adviser, I didn't want to sleep for the next several months anyway.

[lovinliterature]

 I've got a good one in terms of "things that will make you paranoid you'll be rejected even though you've been accepted":

 

In my emails back and forth with the grad chair from my one acceptance so far, I mentioned that I have a pre existing medical condition in the context of inquiring about health insurance options. Tonight one of my advisers learned of this and said I shouldn't have told the grad chair that because "in the wrong hands that could be trouble." He went on to explain that once I'm there I'm safe, but that I should wait till I'm there.

 

....Thanks Mr. Adviser, I didn't want to sleep for the next several months anyway.

Did your advisor say why it would be "trouble" to ask about health insurance?  That seems like a fairly normal question to me . . . 

[Taco Superior]

Did your advisor say why it would be "trouble" to ask about health insurance?  That seems like a fairly normal question to me . . . 

 

The idea was that if they knew I had any medical issues they might view me as a liability.

[Taco Superior]

Did your advisor say why it would be "trouble" to ask about health insurance?  That seems like a fairly normal question to me . . . 

 

Mr Adviser just clarified that it wasn't about effecting my admissions status, it was about program gossip and possible long term implications for the job market. He said he was at STanford with a guy who had AIDS and the guy never got a job.

[Magical Realist]

 I've got a good one in terms of "things that will make you paranoid you'll be rejected even though you've been accepted":

 

In my emails back and forth with the grad chair from my one acceptance so far, I mentioned that I have a pre existing medical condition in the context of inquiring about health insurance options. Tonight one of my advisers learned of this and said I shouldn't have told the grad chair that because "in the wrong hands that could be trouble." He went on to explain that once I'm there I'm safe, but that I should wait till I'm there.

 

....Thanks Mr. Adviser, I didn't want to sleep for the next several months anyway.

 

It's nice to know I'm not the only paranoid train wreck;). I know it's ridiculously imprudent, but I really want to just accept the offer now (even though 60% of my aps are still pending and the recruitment weekend is 6 weeks away), because I don't want to give them time to realize the error of their ways and take it back. 

 

And no worries, though it's generally speaking not the best idea in the world to let potential professional contacts know about medical concerns right away, I'm fairly confident the offer is safe. Also, I'd like to think that times have changed a little since the colleague at Stanford story. And generally, congrats on the acceptance!

[davidm]

lol I just sent the wrong draft of a SOP for a fellowship nomination to the graduate director. it had a professor's comments on it and everything

[Taco Superior]

Alright, I'm gonna cheer you guys up. Please, if you haven't been accepted anywhere yet, don't read. And keep the faith-- it only takes one.

Some highlights from the last week or two.

In the student union here, one of those wonderful old grand collegiate buildings, with dusty paintings of past presidents and fancy old stone arches and a flag room, where in the holiday season they get this giant Christmas tree and the local elementary school kids come and sing carols, they keep a fire going in the winter. It was snowing out. I sat in a chair next to the fireplace, facing the window, and just read what I was interested in reading for hours. No purpose, not for a class, not stressing out taking notes, just reading in front of the fire.

I got an email from one of my students. She's one of our brilliant engineering students. The first couple years of engineering are hell, here. They come right out tell the students: we're trying to get you to quit. You're not going to make it. She was looking to see if I would write her a letter of recommendation. She said that she had gone into the semester expecting my class to be a drag, but that it ended up being her favorite class. She told me that I was the only instructor who knew her name.

Yesterday, I got lost in a research spiral for four hours.

In my building, there's the Purdue Online Writing Lab, there's the journal Arthuriana, there's an Indigenous and Endangered Languages lab, there's an audiology and phonology clinic where little kids run around with diodes on their heads so we can do brain scans, there's an Xbox hidden in a room undergrads don't know about, if you need to blow off some steam.... Our offices are mixed between the different programs and subdivisions. In mine, we've got people doing rhet/comp, ESL, SLS, lit and philosophy, theory and cultural studies, getting their MFA. Sometimes I just sit around and listen to them gab about their projects and research. Wherever you guys go, you'll be surrounded by brilliant people doing amazing things. Forget imposter syndrome. People are doing real research, right next to you-- you can't help but feel inspired.

Sometimes my students come to my office hours just to hang and gab about music and movies. I put my feet up on the desk and joke about how hard engineering is.

There's never any money, and the car broke down again, and I can't afford to fly home for my best friend's engagement party. But even in Lafayette, IN, there's a bunch of cool bars where you can get cheap hoppy beer and good pretzels. My girlfriend and I go to concerts and see free movies on campus. Yesterday I helped some brilliant young students carry their solar electric car into the union. We just built the world's fastest campus supercomputer and an electrical wire only four atoms thick. That stuff moves me. There's a farmers market, April through October, just down the street from our house. I try to bike to school twice a week. The secretary will let you sneak some free printing if you're nice to her and I order free books from publishers all the time. Tomorrow I've getting together with some people in my cohort so we can write a panel proposal for the Watson conference. My curriculum design class is putting together an IEP that's actually going to be implemented; you can get cheap milkshakes at the convenience store in the Stewart center. I'm growing a big bushy grad school beard, because why not? The director of my program is brilliant and caring. She's on leave this semester, so she wrote us a letter. She ended it by saying "I love you all," and she really meant it.

On Fridays, I can sleep in as long as I want.

You guys are gonna have everything you wanted. This is just the bullshit you have to put up with for just a bit longer. In 8 months, you'll be ensconced in your programs, and the idea that you could care that some other program rejected you is going to seem like an absurd dream. All of this will be worth it the moment you're writing and researching and you get there and say, yeah-- that's what I want to say. Just hold on.

 

Been reading this once a day.

[dazedandbemused]

Been reading this once a day.

 

Right? The first time I read that last year, I just sighed from happiness, longing, and expectation. And now, it's going to be a reality.

[Taco Superior]

Right? The first time I read that last year, I just sighed from happiness, longing, and expectation. And now, it's going to be a reality.

 

Oh snap! UT Austin is on your list! Congrats! Are you the one who said it was their DREAM program?

[dazedandbemused]

Oh snap! UT Austin is on your list! Congrats! Are you the one who said it was their DREAM program?

 

Yeah, it is. Seriously, I've been fantasizing about getting in there for MONTHS; it got to the point where I had to start mentally preparing myself for possible rejection, because I was super attached. I thought I was a great fit, but I didn't think I had a chance with my record. I'm glad I don't have to worry about that now  

[Taco Superior]

Yeah, it is. Seriously, I've been fantasizing about getting in there for MONTHS; it got to the point where I had to start mentally preparing myself for possible rejection, because I was super attached. I thought I was a great fit, but I didn't think I had a chance with my record. I'm glad I don't have to worry about that now

 

I'm so happy for you! That's sick.

[DontHate]

I'm so happy for you! That's sick.

 

Me too. You're an inspiration

[dazedandbemused]

Me too. You're an inspiration

 

Ha, thanks! I think. Have you heard anything new yet?

[DontHate]

nope nope nope. News has gotta come one of these days though, at least that's what I tell myself.

[KeelyMK]

1. Location

2. Rank

3. Funding

4. Department size/culture. I feel like this encompasses fit and faculty...

I'm a mess right now :/ I've tried to promise myself not to even think about this stuff until visit weeks and just focus on finishing up my last semester of undergrad well, but this hasn't really worked thus far.

Does anyone know what I'm supposed to do the summer before I start a program? Idk how I'm going to afford to live if I can't start coursework with financial aid/work study early. Do people normally just find a summer cafe job or something until September? The prospect of moving to someplace new AND being broke really worries me. Thanks for any input!

[DontHate]

Maybe ask your program for some advance on your funding?

[damequixote]

Post-acceptance stress is totally where I am right now.

 

I didn't think my application was that competitive (my B.A. and M.A. are from schools that aren't even ranked and I teach at a for-profit college) so I wasn't expecting to have to do much choosing between programs. Talking on the phone to prospective programs' faculty and students and sending out my own rejections is PAINFUL. I do not like to say no and I feel like a terrible person.... and then the choosing! It's ridiculously hard. 

 

Don't get me wrong. I'm totally grateful for how lucky I've been so far (though I'm sure many rejections are coming), but I just plain don't know how to choose. Location is similar, tenure-track placement rates are similar, rank is similar.... BLARG! The only difference staring me in the face right now is the difference between a standard English (rhet/comp) program and an interdisciplinary English and Education program.... and each has its own set of benefits and drawbacks. AHHH. Okay. I'm done ranting.

[Taco Superior]

I didn't want this thread to go off the front page. I neeeeeeed it.