Post-Acceptance Stress & Misc. Banter

[DorindaAfterThyrsis]

Thanks for your thoughts, lyonessrampant

My hunch was that gifts would be weird, but I tend to generally be out of touch with most standards of etiquette (spending most of your life in the cocoon of the dance world will do that to ya! ), so I always like to canvass for opinions among the more socially aware. Prevents me from making some pretty awkward blunders ("personal boundaries" an "professional distance" are not really terms that exist in the world I'm coming from).

As for "questioning" my programs, I've just been hearing/infering some strange and contradictory things here on these boards, and I no longer know what to think. I just need someone I trust and respect and actually know to give my head a shake and get me back in touch with the real world. I'm honestly going a little bonkers. Too much stress, too little food and sleep.

[veniente]

On a semi-related note: now that we have acceptances, what's the protocol for notifying/thanking recommenders? I haven't told any of mine about my results yet (was waiting until i have a full report), but i did plan on writing and delivering a thoughtful, written thank-you note to each of my LOR writers, but should I wait until I have all my responses first? Also, would a small gift be appropriate? I'm thinking not...but opinions are welcomed.

I guess it probably depends on the relationship you have with them, right? For example, I gave my Honours thesis supervisor a six-pack of beer and didn't feel too funny about it. For the three LORs (MA supervisor, research project supervisor, and another employing me as a GTA on her course) I'm thinking a nice bottle of wine/champagne and a written card. I had planned to do this regardless of whether or not I got in anywhere.

Also, Duke and Chicago are amazing. We all know this.

[Earl Grey]

great idea to start this thread. i have a handful of acceptances to top programs, and it's hard talking these things through with my friends who have yet to receive an acceptance. i'm meeting with one of my advisors tomorrow to hash things through--i'm hoping he'll provide me with the inside scoop! i'll be sure to pass on any good tidbits.

by the way, i think baked goods are completely acceptable. who doesn't love cookies?

also, i thought my anxiety and panic would be gone, or at least dimished, at this point in the process. but my wine intake has increased and i can't seem to focus on my thesis. As in, I'm watching Teen Mom instead of reading and writing. Which is terrible. Just terrible.

[lyonessrampant]

I think cookies or a card or something is totally appropriate. I guess when I read "gifts" I was thinking something more extravagant. It really does depend a lot on your relationship, too. If your instincts say something would be nice/appropriate, then go with them. You know your recommenders, yourself, and your relationship with them. I certainly understand the stress and anxiety you all are going through. I was right there with you last year, and I feel anxious for all of you vicariously! Things, though, will work out. I'm quite happy at my program, my cohort is awesome, and I'm doing work I love. These trials will pass and then you won't have to deal with them again. . .until you go on the job market

[Origin=Goal]

I'm probably going to pay my recommenders visits (even the one who was two weeks late on some schools ), as I'm sure they are going to want to share in the good news and excitement.

On another note, isn't it weird to find yourself speaking so optimistically for once?

[athousandlemmings]

Bought one of my recommenders a bottle of Jameson's before he wrote the letter (as a thank you for writing me a letter to get my lecturer job, and as a half-joking bribe) ... is another bottle overkill?

[Origin=Goal]

No, that's actually pretty fucking cool. Looks like it paid off too!

[veniente]

Bought one of my recommenders a bottle of Jameson's before he wrote the letter (as a thank you for writing me a letter to get my lecturer job, and as a half-joking bribe) ... is another bottle overkill?

Hah. That's awesome. One of my recommenders is young and cool so I might forget the champagne and just suggest we hang out at a bar and I buy him a bunch of drinks.

[ComeBackZinc]

In fact, the write-off for relocation was increased in the last stimulus package, I believe, in an effort to get people to relocate for jobs.

I gave recommenders cards and small gifts depending on their personalities/our relationship: a framed picture of Virginia Woolf with my favorite quote of hers, a bottle of sherry, a Blu-Ray.

[bdon19]

Yeah, I bought small thank you gifts post-winter break for writing letters. For two of them I just bought kitschy literary-themed calendars. For the third I bought a "Choose Your Own Jane Austen Adventure" book and a pair of Jonathan Swift earrings (to match my own pair). Yeah, I'm that girl.

[JeremiahParadise]

Yeah, I bought small thank you gifts post-winter break for writing letters. For two of them I just bought kitschy literary-themed calendars. For the third I bought a "Choose Your Own Jane Austen Adventure" book and a pair of Jonathan Swift earrings (to match my own pair). Yeah, I'm that girl.

Man makes these??

[bdon19]

Man makes these??

The earrings? Yes, they really exist. I can't currently find any, but this is from the same seller:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/JONATHAN-SWIFT-art-PENDANT-BROOCH-Pin-/330690601105?pt=Handcrafted_Artisan_Jewelry&hash=item4cfeb22091

I went through a phase my sophomore year when I bought a ton of literary jewelry... Yeah. Sometimes I wonder how I got into grad school...

[Phil Sparrow]

I hear Duke is a cut-throat, painful program, and while it will churn you out to be cut-throat and amazing, will also take your soul.

Funny, U. of Chicago has this same reputation of being a deeply competitive, soulcrushing machine that is only ameliorated by the constant presence of alcohol on campus! Everyone I know in grad school there has moved inconveniently far away from Hyde Park just to get some emotional distance from their respective programs. This is NOT me endorsing this viewpoint, but it's a pretty common characterization of the school writ large.

[lyonessrampant]

I enjoyed being at U Chicago. It is intense, but I wouldn't call it cut-throat. Lots of people do live outside of Hyde Park eventually, but I think that has more to do with the fact that other parts of the city are way better to live in (proximity to entertainment, security, environment, etc.).

[girlmostlikely]

Funny, U. of Chicago has this same reputation of being a deeply competitive, soulcrushing machine that is only ameliorated by the constant presence of alcohol on campus! Everyone I know in grad school there has moved inconveniently far away from Hyde Park just to get some emotional distance from their respective programs. This is NOT me endorsing this viewpoint, but it's a pretty common characterization of the school writ large.

Yeah Chicago's reputation confuses me. For undergrad they are known as where the fun goes to die, because of the core and unforgiving grade deflation. The faculty I've talked to there have taken it upon themselves to tell me that though the academic environment really requires both students and faculty to really "think on their feet," challenge colleagues and allow themselves to be challenged, &c., it's not a roughly competitive environment save for an odd apple or two. This is why the fact that you are being recruited by faculty who really want you in the program is difficult.

Anyone know anything about Columbia's reputation, in terms of how students relate socially and academically? I know they are not known for being too lovey-dovey collegial, but...

Anyway, when I was in undergrad, I was the undergrad representative, and I decided that my primary responsibility was to ply the department with baked goods. On pi day I made three dozen mini-pies of various kinds (peach, berry, pecan, etc.). I had to explain to people what pi was. I also brought in cookies all the time.

Unfortunately, though, my thesis adviser has some sort of advanced ninja celiac disease and cannot have ANY starch (not just gluten), sugar, or dairy. He told me once that he brings home my baked goods to his partner, who actually doesn't have much of a sweet tooth. As a graduation present, I gave him a five pp single spaced thank you letter (how else was I to respond to the Maria Callas CDs/DVDs he gave me??). Not sure I can put in the effort to write equally long letters to my other recommenders, but I do think a well-thought out thank you card is the way to go.

[lyonessrampant]

Not sure if this is still the case, but I've heard there is a lot of interdepartmental conflict at Columbia. This was a few years back, though, so maybe it is better now, but when you go to visit, I would certainly try to get a sense of that. Wanting to work with people who hate each other can put you in an awkward place (from friends in similar situations). Of course, like I said, that was a few years back, so that may not be a problem now! At least as far as the early modernists are concerned at Chicago, they are very collegial, and I loved weekly reading groups with faculty and grad students where everyone would read in advance and then discuss each other's work. Congrats on two awesome offers!

[girlmostlikely]

Yeah, I've heard that same thing about Columbia (somewhat indirectly). You know off chance if that conflict was more wide-reaching--e.g. about general direction of the department--or if a handful of people just really hated each other? One of the good things about Columbia's size, I would think, is that you might be able to avoid some departmental politics if it doesn't involve your own advisers/mentors.

[girlmostlikely]

even if you and your work aren't affected, it still makes for an awkward vibe overall in the dept. you can msg me here or on lj if you want more info (you know i'm not at columbia, but i can at least give you my perspective on a dept that is ... complicated in terms of this very issue).

Thanks, will do!

Man, I hate that choosing programs has to involve things like departmental politics, how students relate to each other (and how they relate to faculty), etc. Can't it all be about finding the best mentors and resources for one's research? Especially because it's difficult to get answers on these things from the people who are recruiting you. You need to somehow be able to access insider information.

[spasticlitotes]

First, I'd like to point out that I managed to stay off of these fora ALL DAY. Cookie for me. It signifies nothing that I consumed calories in the millions to steel myself to do this. Eff it.

Second,

spastic, NINETEEN! JEEZ. I can't even imagine the time and effort that must have taken. And duh you fucked around in undergrad, you went to Carolina - i can't imagine a more fun four years for you.

As for duke, I have been trying (in vain) to hold my tongue. My biggest personality flaw (I didn't mention it in my applications, though) is my hatred of all things duke.

Marlowe, we are going to be very, very good friends should we ever meet. I have choice words for all the things Duke-related.

What was your program, spasticlitotes? I graduated CompLit just this past May.

And good luck on the rest of your apps!

Thanks, Bayo! I was actually a pre-dental English major/comp lit minor. I think I was about two classes away from a bio and chem minor, as well. I LOVED my English and Comp Lit classes, when I finally stopped screwing around and pretending to be pre-dental.

All you Chapel Hill folk should PM me and tell me about it.

bdon - it's glorious as an undergrad. I hear it's different for the grads, though, so I would really try to contact a current grad to see what that's like. It's a town overrun by frat boys and sorority girls, and while that's desirable and amusing as an undergrad, I feel that it might get a little old when you're actually serious about education?

also,

The earrings? Yes, they really exist. I can't currently find any, but this is from the same seller:

http://www.ebay.com/...=item4cfeb22091

I went through a phase my sophomore year when I bought a ton of literary jewelry... Yeah. Sometimes I wonder how I got into grad school...

Please share more links. These are AWESOME. I found some Midsummer Night's wall-paper, and I seriously almost caved. All things literary are fun! If I surround myself with them, I can almost see myself being slowly engulfed in a book.

[spasticlitotes]

OH HEY also, I know these are kinda dorky and sorta corny, but I saved up for them as my "thank you" presents (which I went ahead and wrote out thank you notes for and distributed around mid Jan)-

http://www.thingsremembered.com/product/Administrative-Professionals/Paperweights-Bookmarks/Crystal-Apple-Paperweight/c/2937/sc/2692/157538.uts

You know, like apples for teachers when we were kids...

[Bayo]

I received an email with the subject line: "This seat is yours."

It was from Barack Obama.

::

bdon - As a CompLit major I didn't interact with many in the English department, but my favorite of the ones I did meet would be John McGowan. He's a prolific researcher/writer, but his passion for teaching was amazing. He'd return papers just a couple of days later, not only with copious notes throughout, but often he'd have so much to say that he would actually type up a full page response, print it out, sign it, and paper clip it to the back. Paying that much attention to undergrads was kind of flattering, you know? He also helped me out a ton in the early research stages of my senior thesis. Another of my faves was Rebecka Fisher. She's a comparatist working in French, but she mostly teaches Af-Am lit.

Oh, and McGowan is also a dead ringer for Skinner from The X Files. Nerd much?

Edited February 22, 2012 by Bayo

[koolherc]

wow, this thread was started less than 24 hours ago and it's already on the 4th page? It clearly hit a nerve, Trip Baldwin.

I'm concerned that one of my top choices (among the progs that accepted me) hasn't responded to any of my emails or phone calls for 2 weeks now. When I talked to a prof via phone, I messed up and called her an hour later than our appointment, so now I wonder if they're considering rescinding my offer. 100% pure paranoia, I know.

Oh, also, given the UChicago convo above, I'll add that I also did my ugrad there and had a great time.

Edited February 22, 2012 by koolherc

[WendyMoira]

Good idea for a forum. I kind of feel like an imposter because I have one acceptance (UT-Austin) and one wait list (Pittsburgh...I'm no TripWillis but I was told I have a very good chance at Pitt. I honestly can't decide how far to push for Pitt, because I know Texas has a much higher rank. The thing is, with my weird specialty, Pittsburgh could be a much better fit. Would it be stupid of me to pick the mid-tier school over the top-tier school? Then again, if it really was a better fit, why wouldn't I have gotten in there right off the bat? I know what you guys mean- its driving me crazy thinking about how I could be wait-listed at Pitt but enthusiastically welcomed at Texas. I can't figure it out! Also, I'm another maniac: I applied to 17 schools. I've only heard officially from three, but I think I have about six or seven more implicit rejections. I'm so bummed that Texas's visiting weekend is so late!

On the subject of gifts: I am giving small gifts to my letter-writers, but each of those people also sat on my honors thesis committee and helped vet my application. Also, I'm coming from a small liberal arts college, so I think the whole thing is more intimate. It's pretty customary here to give gifts for favors like that. I chose an Out of Print tee (those of you that like lit-themed stuff, definitely check out www.outofprintclothing.com. My favorite!), a six-pack of Stella, and a novel. But again, these are professors with whom I've worked closely.

Since we're on the subject, does anyone know anything about interdepartmental politics at either Pitt or Texas?

[Origin=Goal]

Herc, did you make it into HisCon? Heard from a student in the department that they only accepted two this year (!); dope profile icon by the way.

[Stately Plump]

I just got my second acceptance (at BU).

I just want to say: after the second one it feels more real. After getting in at Amherst, my reaction was more like, "Oh man, no matter what else happens, at least I know I'm not working in a grocery store next year!" But after getting in at BU, my reaction is more like, "Holy shit I got in to a fuckin literature PhD program!"

I guess after having one, it was easy to write it off as a fluke. Now I feel like my work is worth something and it's exciting to know that more than one department wants me there (<-- sunglasses because I'm excited)