A Question About Visiting and Decisions

[Blurry]

Hi Everyone,

I've been accepted and invited to visit two schools, both of which are excellent fits for me and are among my top choices. I've received a one year fellowship for one school (school A) and am nominated for a 2 year fellowship in the other (school . The latter is a better fit (and better ranked) for my most central interest and my current advisor has also recommended that I choose school B. The city of school B is also better for my fiancee (given her interests and job prospects). I am also in closer contact with some students at school B as well as a potential advisor. Both schools have offered me some money to visit their departments and I must say that I am reluctant to visit and would like your input on this.

I suffer from some pretty bad impostor syndrome so visiting (and being given that attention) really does not appeal to me at all. While school A has a visiting weekend, school B has individual visits :S

If I receive the fellowship for school B I will distinctly prefer it over A and visiting won't likely change my mind in this respect (I am not even sure what benefit I would get from visiting); that is, there does not seem to be anything I could see that would trump the other advantages I have mentioned.

My potential advisor for school B suggested that I visit and, in particular, wanted me to visit, preferably, when he is there. By the time I could visit (end of March) I may have already made up my mind. They are working hard to get me a fellowship and I am wondering whether I should tell them the truth: If i receive the fellowship my decision would most likely be made even before I could visit (i.e. I would choose to accept their offer)

I am wondering whether it would be a good call to refuse school A before visiting. I am somewhat paranoid that they would just think I'm a rash loser or something. Same goes for accepting School B before visiting.

Is it possible that I'm more stressed now after receiving good news than I was waiting in agonizing anticipation!!

Thanks. Any help would be appreciated.

[svh]

You should most definitely visit. You won't know what it's really like at either school until you do, and both schools really want to meet you to get to know you. You should visit school A even if you're not considering going there so as to not burn any bridges and to build connections (you'll probably be seeing them again in the future for whatever reason, maybe for a job). Anyways, don't be stressed about this. This is good news and a good problem to have. Just go to the visits and be yourself. You've already been accepted, so there's no use stressing about the visits. And I hear most first year grad students get imposter syndrome (I'm sure I will feel it, too).

[rising_star]

You really shouldn't decide where to spend the next 5-7 years of your life without visiting first and meeting the people that are going to play a major role in your life and your future career.

[Enzian]

Blurry, I feel you on the impostor syndrome and I just went through the interview process at one of my top choices (way scarier than already being accepted and visiting, in my opinion) and made it back unscathed.

I agree with svh and rising_star. Visit! People are nice, they want to show off their school to you, and you really owe it to yourself when making such a huge decision. Nobody's going to give you a pop quiz or pull you all the way out there just to laugh in your face (just the two most pleasant of many possible outcomes I considered for myself). Think of it like this: now that they've offered you admission, they would like you to accept their offer so they're going to put their best foot forward and that's a great situation for you to be in since the attention really isn't on you, it's on making the program appealing for you. And if you come away from a visit with a bad taste in your mouth, that should tell you a lot.

Good luck with your decision!

[Blurry]

Thank you all for your help. I've started making visiting arrangements and just decided to get over the whole imposter thing (well not get over it, but I figure I need to break it some day).

[PhDreams]

I have similar fears about visiting a school and then deciding not to go. Is it pretty common to visit a few schools before deciding? Or will they be annoyed that they put you up to come visit the school and then you decide to go somewhere else?

[ZeChocMoose]

I have similar fears about visiting a school and then deciding not to go. Is it pretty common to visit a few schools before deciding? Or will they be annoyed that they put you up to come visit the school and then you decide to go somewhere else?

If possible, definitely visit all the schools that you are seriously considering. I know before and after my campus visits for my master's degree, my preference list and where I ultimately selected changed drastically. It is also important to get a feel for the faculty, current students, and your potential cohort mates as they will be your colleagues.

Schools expect that some people who visit will ultimately go elsewhere. It is not unusual and that is why there are waitlists or the programs will admit more people than they expect to matriculate in the fall.

[PhDreams]

If possible, definitely visit all the schools that you are seriously considering. I know before and after my campus visits for my master's degree, my preference list and where I ultimately selected changed drastically. It is also important to get a feel for the faculty, current students, and your potential cohort mates as they will be your colleagues.

Schools expect that some people who visit will ultimately go elsewhere. It is not unusual and that is why there are waitlists or the programs will admit more people than they expect to matriculate in the fall.

Thanks for the info! I feel much better now.

[mj53]

Always always visit. It really is that important and helps you get a feel with who you think would be better to work with and what environment you prefer.

[hyperjulie]

I'll tell you I almost made a huge mistake, as I considered turning down an interview to a graduate school that I thought I wasn't really so interested in after all. Then, I visited and I absolutely LOVED it. I couldn't have anticipated how well I got along with the current grads and my potential advisor.

There's something to be said about the feeling you get when you visit somewhere. It can really have an impact and you don't want to be stuck with people who make you unhappy for 5 years.

[NoMoreABD]

But what if the school is approx. on the other side of the world, and what they offer to reimburse you for the visit will only pay for about 1/3 of what it's going to cost you?

I really want to visit, but there's no way I can afford it nor take this time off work.

[moogle]

But what if the school is approx. on the other side of the world, and what they offer to reimburse you for the visit will only pay for about 1/3 of what it's going to cost you?

I really want to visit, but there's no way I can afford it nor take this time off work.

If you can't, you can't. It's unfortunate, but there are alternatives - not as good as visiting, but at least it's something. Correspond with current grad students, look for campus tour videos, read student reviews of the college and of the professors you'll be working with (collegeprowler, studentreviews.com, ratemyprofessor, etc.). I'd take student reviews with a grain of salt, though - some students can be bitter about having to take required courses that don't interest them, for example.

[fanon_fanatic]

I second @moogie about connecting with current grad students and reading as much as you can from the website. I'm in the same situation as @Foreign Guy and have a program I can't afford to attend. In order to make up for that, I emailed the graduate coordinator and asked if she could put me in touch with students who have similar research interests, and spoke briefly as well with a faculty member. I'm not, however, so happy with the response to my request, and it's helped me to realize that the program is probably not the right one for me (I have yet to get an email address for a student from this program, and was directed to the website listing of graduate students, which felt really dismissive given the fact that I'd already read all the information on the website!). However, other schools I've been accepted to have already connected me with students, and it's really been a positive experience. Beyond that, I'm visiting all of the schools that I can afford to, and I really feel that it's made all the difference in terms of helping me decide. I don't think I will be attending any schools I can't visit except in an extraordinary circumstance, and I feel good about that choice. 5-7 years is a long time to go into a situation blind.