What about roommates?

[cafeaulaitgirl]

So as I have started my apartment search and some of my future classmates have mentioned getting roommates. I am 30 years old and I have lived alone for the last 3 years so I didn't even consider a roommate but I do realize that my income is about to take an 80% cut. So I am wondering, do most grad students get roommates? Does it make a difference getting a roommate after having lived alone? Any suggesions? I am on the fence here! Thanks!

[OnceAndFutureGrad]

It depends entirely on your campus and situation. When I did my masters I was able to live in a 1-bedroom apartment 30 minutes off the rural campus with a 10-hour part time job on top of my graduate stipend. I wasn't the only one - I'm not sure how they did it without an additional job, but perhaps I was not as wise with my money. Now, going to a PhD in a city, I will need apartment- or housemates to stay within my stricter fellowship budget, but I will never have roommates. If you are moving to the very center of a metropolis you may need a roommate, but apart from that extreme circumstance you should be able to find a bedroom for yourself among grad students. Unless your campus is in high demand for property or your stipend is truly paltry, you should also be able to find a studio or 1-bedroom apartment for $100-200 more than you would pay to rent a room. I would say that the money is worth it depending on your personal preference; it sounds as if $200/month to have your own place would pay off in avoiding co-habitation stress.

[go3187]

I would do anything possible not to have a roommate. I currently live with two flatmates, and that is challenging enough. It really depends who you're living with though. My current flatmates are amazing, very clean and quiet. However, I've also come across some very (VERY!) messy ones, who never cleaned after themselves in the common areas of the apartment, not even after being told repeatedly to please do so.

It helps that I'm at the university from around 7am to 7pm, so I'm not spending a lot of time at home. For someone who works from home, dealing with roommates/flatmates might be more tricky.

My PhD supervisor will be moving to a different university this summer, and I'm transfering there too. It's in a different city, and I'm looking for a 1-room apartment. I prefer to pay about 150 Euros more just to live alone.

[Ennue]

In my program about a third lives with their spouse, about a third lives with flatmates, and about a third lives on their own. Since you're already on the fence and have lived alone for three years I recommend getting a studio/one bedroom for yourself!

[Eigen]

My wife and I had our own apartment when we first started off, and stayed there for two years.

The past year, we went in with one of our friends on a much nicer place, for less. We were able to go from a triplex house to a nice house all to ourselves, and it was definitely worth it.

On the other side, though, I wouldn't have wanted to get a roommate off the bat. It was much easier to navigate after I'd been here long enough to have good friends to move in with.

[stell4]

I had a friend move in with me for a summer after I'd been living alone for sometime. She left a massive mess when she left, and I couldn't be happier to clean it up, ALONE! I am an only child and did not realize quite how much I value my space and quiet. I personally would pay significantly more to be able to live alone (and did until getting married). I've found my friends who had a lot of siblings growing up have done better and really enjoyed having roommates.

[rockhopper]

Personally, moving to a place where I will not know anyone, I really want to live with someone else to form new friendships and connections within the department. I also lived with a roommate all four years in undergrad so I think living along would get lonely, but that is just a personal preference! I've heard of people moving in by themselves and searching for others so I think it just depends!

[ktel]

I know I'm not a roommate type of person. I really value my own personal space. I do live with my boyfriend, which is a bit different, and he works a lot so I often get the apartment all to myself. I would not be able to afford a place on my own though.

[Dal PhDer]

I think it totally depends on you. Like a lot of these people- I am not a roommate type person. I've lived with partners, but I value my space, quiet, and ability to make a place my home. However, my very best friend loves roommates. She interviews people and finds mates that suit her lifestyle (as a med student and a neat freak). She's been really successful! Having a roommate is great because you save money, it's a social relationship, and can be a great longterm friend.

I think it's really personal preference. What do you do at your place? Are you a homebody? Or do you spend most of your time away from your home? If you want to live alone, perhaps you can sacrifice other things to make it more affordable! Or you might just want to commit to a semester somewhere with someone, and if you don't like it- think about moving!

[Eigen]

I agree that the social benefits of having a roommate can be nice. There are also tangible benefits with a good room-mate past rent reduction.

For instance, all three of us cook, and we all try to cook a "communal" meal once a week, which at least gets us 3 good meals with minimal effort.

We all play instruments, and we get together and play semi-regularly.

Additionally, it's someone to look after our pets when my wife and I go out of town.

That said, I think one really important thing is how the house/apartment is set up, whether or not its easy to share, or you get in each others ways all the time.

[Cici Beanz]

I think that if you do decide to go the roommate route (which I think I'm going to do, so wish me luck!!) it's important to be up front about what you expect from a shared living situation. Because I am fairly social and will be living in a new city, I am really hoping for the kind of roommate situation that Eigen describes. I think I would feel awkward living with someone if it felt like we were only living together out of financial necessity. With that said, I DO value my privacy and personal space tremendously, so someone with no boundaries who came into my room without knocking would drive me absolutely BATTY. My main concern is that IF I get a roommate we have similar ideas of where our boundaries are.

[Dal PhDer]

I think that if you do decide to go the roommate route (which I think I'm going to do, so wish me luck!!) it's important to be up front about what you expect from a shared living situation. Because I am fairly social and will be living in a new city, I am really hoping for the kind of roommate situation that Eigen describes. I think I would feel awkward living with someone if it felt like we were only living together out of financial necessity. With that said, I DO value my privacy and personal space tremendously, so someone with no boundaries who came into my room without knocking would drive me absolutely BATTY. My main concern is that IF I get a roommate we have similar ideas of where our boundaries are.

This is so important. I know a few people who have just opted to take in any roommate, and it didn't go well. Really being upfront with your expectations, how you like to live your life, your schedule, and chores- is really important.

[aidamisky]

Does anyone have advice about how to find a roommate? I don't know anyone from my undergrad school who's going to my graduate school, and I feel uncomfortable using craigslist or something else similarly random. I would also like a more social roommate experience, but I'm not sure how to start looking for it.

[Gneiss1]

It depends on the roommate and situation really. If I didn't have a family I would probably get a roommate if I could find someone that I knew I would get along well with just to offset costs. Of my friends in grad school most of the guys have roommates, it seems less common among my female friends unless they have a SO.

You could likely find a small studio/1 bdrm apartment that wont be that much more expensive than a bigger place with a roommate. Definitely less risky!

Or if you can afford a two bedroom you could get that on your own with potential to get a roommate later down the road if necessary.

[imonedaful]

I am not a fan of the roommate situation. I had a private dormroom for two and a half years of undergraduate. I tried having a roommate during my master's degree and it iddn't work out and I ended up moving out. She definitely had some negative qualities that I always think of when I consider ever getting a roommate again. She used to get letters from some guy in prison at our residence. When I saw the letters I actually looked the guy up in the state system to see if he was getting out soon, haha. She left dishes in the sink and then went on spring break. Eww. I took some online classes and had to take timed tests over blackboard and she would come in with her friends and be loud. I had to do all my work in the library. Just too much of a hassle when I was a student, I would rather live in a smaller apt by myself than with a roommate. However, if you are considering it, maybe stay by yourself for a year and then once you meet people decide if you want to live with someone the next year.

[Eigen]

I recommend to our incoming students that they try to find a place on a 6 month lease to start. Then as they meet other grad students, they can find someone that might work out as a roommate- either a current student, or one of the other new ones.

I don't think I'd do "blind" roommate hunts though. I'd want to know the person first.

[Sigaba]

I've been doing the housemate thing for the last twelve years or so. For me, this type of situation works well because I get more bang for the buck and, with one exception, I've had spectacularly nice and likeable people as housemates.

I think posts #9 and #11 provide extremely useful guidance. With one exception, I've been very successful finding housemates by being very up front about what kind of person I am, what kind of environment I want to maintain in the common areas, what are the "deal breakers," and asking a prospective housemate the same questions. The goal is to build positive rapport and a common vision of what type of environment one wants.

In my experience, a good way to find housemates is through word of mouth (friends of friends) and careful research on craigslist.

[Cici Beanz]

So I'm taking a risk and moving in with four strangers this fall. I'm wary but hopeful. Wish me luck!

[OregonGal]

Good luck--and don't sign a lease until you've survived your first month

[crazygirl2012]

I had a friend move in with me for a summer after I'd been living alone for sometime. She left a massive mess when she left, and I couldn't be happier to clean it up, ALONE! I am an only child and did not realize quite how much I value my space and quiet. I personally would pay significantly more to be able to live alone (and did until getting married). I've found my friends who had a lot of siblings growing up have done better and really enjoyed having roommates.

I'm an only child as well, and as much as I hate the stereotypes about us, it really does make a difference! I value my space and quiet as well. I've gotten lucky with roommates, but now that I'm starting grad school, I'm finding it's worth dipping into my savings and living farther from campus to have a one-bedroom apartment all to myself.

[Dal PhDer]

Goodluck with the roomie situation!! hope it works out well!!

[Cici Beanz]

Good luck--and don't sign a lease until you've survived your first month

Oh how I wish that had been an option! I already signed, but I read carefully...plus the landlord seems like someone who really pays attention to who he rents to. I know it's not an ideal situation, but I had to act quickly since almost everything where I'm moving is rented June through May...there's not much going on in the area outside of the school. I am well aware that this could end up not going well, but I'll deal...and I'll have much more insider info next year if I decide to move.

[Dal PhDer]

Ok...so I know this is tasteless...and yet...I still have to post this because as I read it, I was reminded of this thread.

I apologize in advance!

http://usnews.msnbc....wer-tool-knives

Edited May 25, 2012 by Dal PhDer

[Cici Beanz]

Oh lord. Don't let my mother see that. She's already beside herself about the whole living with strangers situation.

[Cici Beanz]

Also, that's legitimately really, really horrible.