Older students?

[Scantronphobia]

So I am not sure if I'm really considered an older student per se.. I'm 7 days shy of being 27 but I've always been beyond my years (or so I've been told). I just finished my second BS this past May and I was definitely one of the oldest of the student body there. I'm looking into graduate programs for Fall 2015 (hopefully). In some ways, I feel like the "odd one out" because some of my peers from my first college went straight into graduate school and now are working full time in their field. And then the other half of my peers from my 2nd college are just setting foot in the the real world post college. And here I am, in between both worlds. Sometimes I wish I could turn around and redo it, other times I like that I have had my own unique path. To those of you pursuing graduate studies while having a family, HUGE kudos to you. I have huge amounts of respect for those of you who fit that category! 

Oh, to be 27 and just starting grad school! Grab it while you have the chance! You're not so young that you won't appreciate the experience, and you're not too old to fit in with those who might be coming right out of undergrad, either. IMO, 27 is just about the perfect age to do anything. Carpe diem!

[wildlifer]

Oh, to be 27 and just starting grad school! Grab it while you have the chance! You're not so young that you won't appreciate the experience, and you're not too old to fit in with those who might be coming right out of undergrad, either. IMO, 27 is just about the perfect age to do anything. Carpe diem!

 

Thanks! Certainly trying to grab it. We shall see how it pans out . 

[justanotherlostgrrl]

Hi--so you are beginning the application stage? If so, look at schools that will pay you to go. That was the best advice about grad school I ever received: Don't go if they won't pay.

 

And yes, I need to try not to be distracted by the age thing. This is, after all, a career move and not a social move. But they are sort of linked in my field.

 

Yes - beginning to apply to schools.  Sent away for my transcript today - start of the journey to make it official    15 years since undergrad, so go AARP me!

 

How would I find schools that would pay me to go? I understand that PhD programs often will sponsor some of your tuition, but I'm looking at masters, and not seeing any.  I'm looking at New York area design schools (Parsons, Pratt, SVA etc.) and trying to find scholarships, although I doubt there's much substantial that covers thousands of it - maybe $1,000 here or there.  If it was a Harvard, they do have larger scholarships, but perhaps smaller schools like Parsons don't have quite so much in the way of scholarships and instead assume most folks are there on loans.

 

I understand what you mean linking career and social.  It depends on the program - I don't get the sense at any of the schools I"m looking at that it's looked down upon if you're a little older, and it's not like we're sharing a program the way that other courses might be... it feels very self directed, and you don't have to be hanging out with everyone at the lab after school.  At a certain point, I'm hoping people are evaluated on the strength of their ideas and not their ages (etc.), so if anyone gives me any guff in class - well, I'll concentrate on my work instead, and if I make a few friends, I'll be happy.  I don't look 'old' and I know how to 'act younger' and dress younger if I need to, luckily, but I'm feeling really old and bit like I've failed in life, and like I'm going back to school because I have to for work - which is the big problem, which is also tied to age.  We'll see I guess.  Happy to have found folks going down similar paths in the Going Back To School madness.

 

For wildlifer, yes, 27 is a perfect age to be doing it - so enjoy! I so wish I had done this earlier back when I wanted to, but was intimidated by the cost.  Life is too bloody short  - just do what you want, and never be scared to do it.  I've spent too many years being scared - don't do that.

[Scantronphobia]

Yes - beginning to apply to schools.  Sent away for my transcript today - start of the journey to make it official    15 years since undergrad, so go AARP me!

 

How would I find schools that would pay me to go? I understand that PhD programs often will sponsor some of your tuition, but I'm looking at masters, and not seeing any.  I'm looking at New York area design schools (Parsons, Pratt, SVA etc.) and trying to find scholarships, although I doubt there's much substantial that covers thousands of it - maybe $1,000 here or there.  If it was a Harvard, they do have larger scholarships, but perhaps smaller schools like Parsons don't have quite so much in the way of scholarships and instead assume most folks are there on loans.

 

I understand what you mean linking career and social.  It depends on the program - I don't get the sense at any of the schools I"m looking at that it's looked down upon if you're a little older, and it's not like we're sharing a program the way that other courses might be... it feels very self directed, and you don't have to be hanging out with everyone at the lab after school.  At a certain point, I'm hoping people are evaluated on the strength of their ideas and not their ages (etc.), so if anyone gives me any guff in class - well, I'll concentrate on my work instead, and if I make a few friends, I'll be happy.  I don't look 'old' and I know how to 'act younger' and dress younger if I need to, luckily, but I'm feeling really old and bit like I've failed in life, and like I'm going back to school because I have to for work - which is the big problem, which is also tied to age.  We'll see I guess.  Happy to have found folks going down similar paths in the Going Back To School madness.

 

For wildlifer, yes, 27 is a perfect age to be doing it - so enjoy! I so wish I had done this earlier back when I wanted to, but was intimidated by the cost.  Life is too bloody short  - just do what you want, and never be scared to do it.  I've spent too many years being scared - don't do that.

That's the spirit! As far as finding programs that will provide a tuition reimbursement and maybe a stipend, the best way to find out for certain is to 1. look carefully at the website for the program to see if there is info there and 2. call and talk to the director of graduate studies. Best of luck to you!

[callista]

Does anyone else notice a weird tension or barrier when you have an instructor who is around your age?  I find that I get along best with the faculty who are at least 5 years younger or older.

[avflinsch]

Yes there is some tension - especially when the instructor is closer in age to your own children.

 

The weirdest was when I was an older undergrad - the instructor was a former employee of mine. 

[DogMa]

Yes there is some tension - especially when the instructor is closer in age to your own children.

 

The weirdest was when I was an older undergrad - the instructor was a former employee of mine.

Undergrad was also odd as an older student with the instructors. Most of them were great but I had a couple that seemed to find perfectly legitimate questions as a challenge to what they were saying. It almost never was but I think because I was a bit more confident than most of the younger students (confident because unlike my first college experience I had actually done the homework ) the instructor took it as something more than just a question. This was usually with a younger instructor though.

You have to walk a fine line sometimes as an older student between being a good student and what others may see as a suck up. I haven't had any problems with this in grad school though since I am not usually the oldest student. And because I keep my age quiet if I am the oldest. It helps to have hair dye and a face that people say (I don't think so) looks 20 years younger.

[shadowclaw]

Does anyone else notice a weird tension or barrier when you have an instructor who is around your age? I find that I get along best with the faculty who are at least 5 years younger or older.

I've only had one professor close to my age, and that was one of my chem professors (who became my undergrad advisor and senior project mentor). He's about 3 years older than me and he was fresh out of grad school in his first full-time position when I first had him for general chem.

It wasn't weird at all for me. Since I look a bit younger than I am, he didn't realize at first how close in age we were, and I suppose I was just another student (although a better student than most, which did catch his attention, as general chem destroyed a lot of students).

After I requested that he be my advisor, I eventually brought up our age difference, and he was a bit shocked at first, but nothing really changed. We were pretty much good buddies, which may have been influenced by the closeness in age, but a lot of younger students treated him like a pal, too. Sadly, this also meant they showed him a bit less respect than he deserved. I never had the nerve to call him by his first name, but a lot of the young kids did!

Now what was really awkward was when 18 and 19 year old guys were hitting on me in lab when I was 26 - 28. I guess I felt flattered, but it really was strange to deal with, and my non-traditional engagement ring (sapphire) didn't save me.

[bhr]

I was a few years older than my TT undergrad advisor, so it was weird for me. I also had to (and still have) sometimes act a little "aw shucks" about the program to combat a perception of cockiness that comes from age/confidence (especially because I'm in two combo grad/undergrad classes this semester with kids young enough to be mine (16-18 year difference).

[Scantronphobia]

I was a few years older than my TT undergrad advisor, so it was weird for me. I also had to (and still have) sometimes act a little "aw shucks" about the program to combat a perception of cockiness that comes from age/confidence (especially because I'm in two combo grad/undergrad classes this semester with kids young enough to be mine (16-18 year difference).

Yikes! I can relate--there is an undergrad here and there in my seminars. It makes me feel soooo old! Especially when they say smart things and do well.

Personally, I am having issues developing relationships in my cohort because of the age difference. In my program, it is very much encouraged to become friends, but how do you deal with the obvious fact that we are at very different stages of life? I am not age-ist, just stating facts. I feel the divide when I talk to them.

[RunnerGrad]

Most of the students in my program went straight through from undergrad, so I am definitely old enough to be their mother.  Fortunately, there are some individuals who are already dietitians in our program (so they are naturally a little older) and there are some students who did two undergraduate degrees (as to be a dietitian in Canada you need a Dietitians of Canada accredited degree, and some people decided after a degree in some other subject to pursue nutrition/dietetics).  So that's just in my program.

 

In all of the MPH programs, however, there are a wide variety of students and professions represented, and two of the courses I'm taking have students from a variety of programs.  So in one class we have a couple of health care professionals in my small seminar group, and one is close to my age.  In another class, we have several mid-career health care professionals (MDs, nurses, etc.) and a couple of them are close to my age, and one is definitely older. 

 

Fortunately, age hasn't been an issue in any of my classes or seminars.  We all work together collaboratively, and we each bring something different to the table.  We are supposed to cooperate with each other, and not compete, and so far that hasn't been an issue.  Everyone pulls their own weight (unlike in undergrad) and everyone wants to succeed.  I do feel like a dinosaur sometimes (ie. I take notes by hand, I prefer email over texting) but fortunately age hasn't been an issue at all.

[justanotherlostgrrl]

Yikes! I can relate--there is an undergrad here and there in my seminars. It makes me feel soooo old! Especially when they say smart things and do well.

Personally, I am having issues developing relationships in my cohort because of the age difference. In my program, it is very much encouraged to become friends, but how do you deal with the obvious fact that we are at very different stages of life? I am not age-ist, just stating facts. I feel the divide when I talk to them.

 

That's what worries me - the divide.  I feel a divide when I read an article mentioning they were in grade school during 9/11 and I was already out of school and working at that point.   What worries me more is that students seem to be so much more self-possessed and know what they want to do at a far younger age.  I see people's portfolios and they're building apps while in high school, and I feel like I haven't achieved a damn thing - whereas at least if I have a master's I'll know I'll have done 'something'.  I know the program I'm applying for is collaborative, so I welcome the chance to be working with people who have good ideas and attititudes, but also worry about talking about my experiences where I just don't seem 'good enough' or just too 'out of the loop'.  I've had a long path since school, and big parts of it were difficult, so it's going to be harder to relate to someone who's 23 and hasn't had certain experiences that you inherit from working in Corporate America. 

[alex bo balex]

Happy to have found this thread. I'm 30, and will (at last) be finished with my BA in May. I'm taking two GRE exams and applying to psych grad programs this fall-- and while I'm anxious about the time-consuming aspects of the process, I mostly feel eager/excited to get started with the next chapter of my life. 

 

Two years ago I transferred from a more "blended" university (decent mix of teens, twenties, and non trads), and began commuting to a much larger one, with a more traditional demographic (read: lots and lots, and lots, of teenagers). It was a challenging transition for many reasons....and although it's gotten easier, I admit that I still feel a little bit "on the periphery" of things. Fortunately, my husband is also a non-trad student and has dealt with some of the same challenges, which has made the experience less isolating for both of us.  I also feel like the experience has helped me gain a lot of valuable personal insight and much needed awareness of hidden insecurities, which makes me feel much better equipped to enter the graduate arena. 

 

(That being said, I'm still really, REALLY looking forward to doing less "aw shucks"ing in the future.  )

Edited September 20, 2014 by alex bo balex

[callista]

Yikes! I can relate--there is an undergrad here and there in my seminars. It makes me feel soooo old! Especially when they say smart things and do well.

Personally, I am having issues developing relationships in my cohort because of the age difference. In my program, it is very much encouraged to become friends, but how do you deal with the obvious fact that we are at very different stages of life? I am not age-ist, just stating facts. I feel the divide when I talk to them.

 

After a year together, the gap doesn't seem as bad because we all have to do the same work, you know?  We all go through the same methodology sequence, so bonding over problem sets happens.

 

But I can't say that I'm really "friends" in the hanging-out sense with anyone in my cohort, the way the younger students are.  I'm in my middle-aged world, where I commute 1/2 hr to campus, and they live closer by. I do feel a little left out, but that's OK.  I think that if I were also TAing, we'd have more points of connection, but I'm self-funded.  (Working part time at my civil service job pays 2x what a GA would.)

 

Going to happy hour as a group can help, too!

[Scantronphobia]

That's what worries me - the divide.  I feel a divide when I read an article mentioning they were in grade school during 9/11 and I was already out of school and working at that point.   What worries me more is that students seem to be so much more self-possessed and know what they want to do at a far younger age.  I see people's portfolios and they're building apps while in high school, and I feel like I haven't achieved a damn thing - whereas at least if I have a master's I'll know I'll have done 'something'.  I know the program I'm applying for is collaborative, so I welcome the chance to be working with people who have good ideas and attititudes, but also worry about talking about my experiences where I just don't seem 'good enough' or just too 'out of the loop'.  I've had a long path since school, and big parts of it were difficult, so it's going to be harder to relate to someone who's 23 and hasn't had certain experiences that you inherit from working in Corporate America. 

Yes, I am pretty out of the loop, as you say, in terms of social media. I hate fb, twitter, etc., but it's kind of expected that you will be available and active via such venues...

[Scantronphobia]

After a year together, the gap doesn't seem as bad because we all have to do the same work, you know?  We all go through the same methodology sequence, so bonding over problem sets happens.

 

But I can't say that I'm really "friends" in the hanging-out sense with anyone in my cohort, the way the younger students are.  I'm in my middle-aged world, where I commute 1/2 hr to campus, and they live closer by. I do feel a little left out, but that's OK.  I think that if I were also TAing, we'd have more points of connection, but I'm self-funded.  (Working part time at my civil service job pays 2x what a GA would.)

 

Going to happy hour as a group can help, too!

Yes, I am becoming less worried about the social aspect--I do not have time for it in this program! And I think that it will serve me well to bond, but focus mainly on the work. I don't have the commute, like you do, but I do live a bit farther from campus than most of them, too, so I don't hang out in all of the campus places that I might run into them.

[payel1986]

Hi friends, I am so overwhelmed to see the posts here! I am a R & D professional in India, working for the last 6 years. I am dying to join the graduate school now at the age of 31. I am just married and taking the decision to quit my present job (that offers a fat salary) is not-at-all easy at this age, especially from India, where this is really really difficult to manage a job with good pay scale. I am applying this fall, let's see what happens. All the best for your future endeavours-I am gaining so much courage now. It feels like I am not alone .

[Scantronphobia]

Hi friends, I am so overwhelmed to see the posts here! I am a R & D professional in India, working for the last 6 years. I am dying to join the graduate school now at the age of 31. I am just married and taking the decision to quit my present job (that offers a fat salary) is not-at-all easy at this age, especially from India, where this is really really difficult to manage a job with good pay scale. I am applying this fall, let's see what happens. All the best for your future endeavours-I am gaining so much courage now. It feels like I am not alone .

31 isn't old at all in my view--that's a great age to do grad school--you're not too old to be worn out by it but not so young that you don't get it in a larger sense--you know why you're there, you know what the alternatives look like, etc. Good luck to you!

[Meglet]

I'm applying for next fall and will be 33 next month, married with cats (no children!).  I definitely feel old when I realize it's been more than 10 years since I graduated from college, and 7 since I finished my MA.  And needing to find a living situation in an expensive big city that accommodates husband and cats is daunting.

[danieleWrites]

I'm currently trying to work myself up into a mid-life crisis so I can avoid working on an abstract to submit to a major conference. (Go me.) It's really hit me that I'm older now, and when I start shopping my application to university search committees, I'm not going to look like someone with "fresh ideas" because age does not equal fresh. I'll be competing with people who aren't going to hit phased retirement age in 20 years, but in 40.

 

The worst part? I'm doing something of the sandwich thing. I'm looking, all wall-eyed, at my kiddo, who is 19 going on 20 and at a complete loss about how to go about his life these days, and my parents and in-laws, who are telling me that nursing homes are out, out, out! In the middle of all of this, I have to write papers, present at conferences, and read.

 

I'm doing the kind of planning that my cohort doesn't understand too well. They call their parents for support; I call mine to make sure they didn't fall.

[bhr]

What conference? I put in for Cs, HASTAC and CW this week.

[avflinsch]

'm not going to look like someone with "fresh ideas" because age does not equal fresh. I'll be competing with people who aren't going to hit phased retirement age in 20 years, but in 40.

 

 

You need to look at things differently - 

 

With age, comes experience and wisdom. We old folks have seen what works in the real world, by now we know that there are very good reasons why some things are done the way that they are - it is because they work, and in many cases there is nothing to be gained by making drastic changes, sometimes it is the small tweaks that make the biggest differences. It is the final twist of the lemon peel that makes the cocktail, not the rest of the ingredients - no matter how new and innovative they might be.

 

We need to think of ourselves as a fine aged wine, not as a stale slice of bread.

 

As for the mid-life crisis thing - the best solution is to buy yourself a flashy red car.

[Scantronphobia]

So are we done with this thread now? I'd reeeeally like to comiserate now that it's the end of the semester. Any stories from the past few months about trying to forget how old you are and not being successful at it because everyone in your classes is 10+ years younger? Does anyone talk about their age to their classmates? Or do you try to avoid the subject?

[NavyMom]

I'm back!!  

 

So I finished my first semester fairly strong.  An A- and a B.  To me, that's good due to the difficulty of the program.  (And hard-a$$ teachers).  I love it!!!  I have a strong cohort, and I found that a few students in my class are actually older than myself, while the rest are around 25-30 years old. 

 

Age never came up, and we all get along quite well.  At the end of the semester we all got together at a bar to slam down a shot in celebration of getting through it.  I am already registered for next semester and getting my books ready.

Anyone else?

[avflinsch]

Final grades posted - 1 Pass and 2 A's (although I think one A was a just barely, the other one was very solid).