Finding a Bang Buddy in Grad School?

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

Oy..

 

Fun related story.. I was just offered a "freebie" by a.. what's the word? Whore? That is what we call people who normally make money by selling sex, right? I suppose prostitute is more proper..

 

"Hey. You're kind of gorgeous and it -is- Christmas Eve. I'm feeling pretty charitable. No charge, wanna go back to my place?"

 

Ugh.. that's burned into my psyche forever. Is Walmart still open so I can buy lye soap to scrub myself with?

I think they close at midnight on Christmas Eve. 

 

Anyway, one time I was driving to the gym after work to meet some workout friends. I stopped off at the corner store to get something (I forget what it was). And as I was getting back into my car, this somewhat attractive 30something lady ran up to my car. She seemed scared and asked for a ride. I gave her one. During the car ride, she was telling me her boyfriend beat her up and was chasing her down the street, and that's why she needed a ride so quick. I get to her location to drop her off and she offers a "freebie." I declined, of course. Her boyfriend was probably on the way. 

Edited December 25, 2013 by Gnome Chomsky

[i.am.me]

That's not very nice ^ 

 

You got offered a freebie with a compliment. 

 

Should just take the compliment and move on even if you didn't accept the services offered.

 

By the way - where does one find themselves on the street on Christmas Eve that a lady of the street pops up offering you her goodies? 

[Loric]

Lol, I dont live in the best neighborhood.

 

And I like how you assume it was a "lady."

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

Lol, I dont live in the best neighborhood.

 

And I like how you assume it was a "lady."

You have to do the bugle test. First, you look for a bulge in the neck. Then, a bulge in the pants. If they pass both tests, they're a lady. 

[CageFree]

Being around undergrads in a lecture environment was enough to determine that I would rather be celibate than sleep with one of them and catch their cooties. Ick.

[Sigaba]

Whether I'm joking or not, I didn't say anything illegal. Last time I checked, most undergrads are adults. Just because I don't want to date some 40-year old divorced grad student with three kids doesn't make me a bad guy. Why the stick up your butt? Did a young'n break your heart? Loric made a "bang buddy" thread and you're getting on me because I made one little joke. I hope my future department isn't this uptight. Might as well go back to the military. 

 

GnomeChomsky--

 

I am not certain what has motivated you to reply in such a fashion. I may have been in error to assume you merited a respectful reply.

 

There's a difference between what is legal and what is appropriate. Some departments may frown upon the mindset which you've displayed in this thread, if not others. Others might embrace your frame of mind as a good representation of what they want in a graduate student.

 

In any case, I suppose only time will tell if members of a department, to say nothing of members of a school's risk management team, that are presently reviewing your application materials will prove to be so "uptight." 

 

Best of luck to you.

Edited December 26, 2013 by Sigaba

[spectastic]

I'd be surprised if admin people have the time to come on here and scout for their applicants.

 

...BUT if anyone's got a good related story I'm all ears.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

GnomeChomsky--

 

I am not certain what has motivated you to reply in such a fashion. I may have been in error to assume you merited a respectful reply.

 

There's a difference between what is legal and what is appropriate. Some departments may frown upon the mindset which you've displayed in this thread, if not others. Others might embrace your frame of mind as a good representation of what they want in a graduate student.

 

In any case, I suppose only time will tell if members of a department, to say nothing of members of a school's risk management team, that are presently reviewing your application materials will prove to be so "uptight." 

 

Best of luck to you.

So your idea of a "less respectful reply" is to sound even more pretentious? I was joking. I think that was obvious. But let's pretend I wasn't. What exactly did I say? I said I'm attracted to young adults. Let's just say that's 18-20. What is so inappropriate about that? How is that any different from, say, being attracted to older people, fat people, skinny people, black people, members of the same sex? Or did you say it was inappropriate because I made a joke on a message board? Exactly which part of my "mindset" should be "frowned upon?"

[Sigaba]

I'd be surprised if admin people have the time to come on here and scout for their applicants.

 

...BUT if anyone's got a good related story I'm all ears.

 

From time to time, there are spikes in the number of "guests" viewing threads on this BB that are of a controversial nature. How many of those guests--or the hundreds of other unregistered guests at this BB on a typically busy day--are admin/faculty types is difficult to say.

 

However, IMO, if a graduate program is going to invest tens of thousands of dollars in a graduate student whilte the program's parent institution is going to expose itself to risk, then someone somewhere is going to do a basic level of due dilligence. 

 

Google does crawl this site. Many members here post personal details about themselves that will also be on an application. Many of those same members also use the same usernames that they've used on other BBs, as well as on various social media, in which they have provided more personal information. Sure, one can change one's user name here, but even then, such changes are not necessarily global.

 

MOO, the question remains. Why take so many unnecessary risks when so much is on the line? Sometimes it seems that some people are not managing their ambivalence about going to graduate school as gracefully as they might--or should.

 

YMMV.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

I'd be surprised if admin people have the time to come on here and scout for their applicants.

 

...BUT if anyone's got a good related story I'm all ears.

I don't know if they do monitor these boards, but you ever watch Tosh.0? They showed a YouTube video of this frat-looking guy peeing into his own mouth. You have to kinda think to yourself, "Yeah, that kid's not going to grad school." 

[LittleDarlings]

From time to time, there are spikes in the number of "guests" viewing threads on this BB that are of a controversial nature. How many of those guests--or the hundreds of other unregistered guests at this BB on a typically busy day--are admin/faculty types is difficult to say.

 

However, IMO, if a graduate program is going to invest tens of thousands of dollars in a graduate student whilte the program's parent institution is going to expose itself to risk, then someone somewhere is going to do a basic level of due dilligence. 

 

Google does crawl this site. Many members here post personal details about themselves that will also be on an application. Many of those same members also use the same usernames that they've used on other BBs, as well as on various social media, in which they have provided more personal information. Sure, one can change one's user name here, but even then, such changes are not necessarily global.

 

MOO, the question remains. Why take so many unnecessary risks when so much is on the line? Sometimes it seems that some people are not managing their ambivalence about going to graduate school as gracefully as they might--or should.

 

YMMV.

Not going to lie I have always worried about this because I mean I post stuff that I guess would make it fairly easy to identify myself but I don't see why an adcom would come here and judge someone I mean this is supposed to be a venting place to grad students.. I just feel like it would be wrong to base admission on post that might come on a bad day or really good day of whatever

[Sigaba]

Not going to lie I have always worried about this because I mean I post stuff that I guess would make it fairly easy to identify myself but I don't see why an adcom would come here and judge someone I mean this is supposed to be a venting place to grad students.. I just feel like it would be wrong to base admission on post that might come on a bad day or really good day of whatever

 

IME, graduate students have meltdowns. Some professors talk students off the ledge. Others will stand on a student's head then bounce it off the walls during office hours. Some will give graduate students a nice shove.

 

Are those instances are different than the behavior of a handful of aspiring graduate students on this BB given how comptetitive the admissions process is?

 

As for you, why shouldn't you be judged for what you've posted here? In the baby on the way thread, you berate people whom you've never met for not being responsible. But here, your position seems to be that you should get a "pass". That is, you would allow for yourself what you don't allow for others.

[jellyfish1]

A few things:

1. Some really horrible anti-trans and anti-sex worker things have been said here, and I just would ask that those of you making such comments be more considerate and thoughtful before you put hateful words into the world, whether on this forum or elsewhere. It's repugnant to talk, even hypothetically, about ways to confirm whether someone's perceived gender is their birth sex. Also, talking about all sex workers with generalizations and expressions of disgust is both hateful and ignorant. Besides the fact that your feelings about prostitutes have nothing AT ALL to do with grad school. It is off topic even for this thread.

2. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if admin committees search these forums. One of my POIs googled my name and found my linkedin before I even applied. He didn't have my grades or test scores or any information about me, just an introductory email I'd sent. If POIs will search for people at that point in time, before even reading applications, I imagine they'll continue to do it afterwards. This whole forum is searchable also, so if someone searches your program, it will likely come up. For instance, if you repeatedly discuss going into, say, Social Work, and list all the schools you are applying to, that is VERY easy to find and could be a top hit on google, given the right search commands. Additionally, while it may not be common, keep in mind that professors sometimes get bored and curious, and if I were a bored professor, I would totally lurk this site anonymously. Besides, this is all public. Even if you don't care if a professor sees it, do you really want to make a terrible first impression on your peers before you even begin grad school? It would be smart to realize the networking potential of this site. I've already made a number of helpful connections with friendly, intelligent people in my field.
 

Edited December 26, 2013 by archeostudent

[LittleDarlings]

IME, graduate students have meltdowns. Some professors talk students off the ledge. Others will stand on a student's head then bounce it off the walls during office hours. Some will give graduate students a nice shove.

 

Are those instances are different than the behavior of a handful of aspiring graduate students on this BB given how comptetitive the admissions process is?

 

As for you, why shouldn't you be judged for what you've posted here? In the baby on the way thread, you berate people whom you've never met for not being responsible. But here, your position seems to be that you should get a "pass". That is, you would allow for yourself what you don't allow for others.

And I also think I explained myself a few times in that thread. If grad students and future grad students are entitled to a meltdown every now and then then I don't see why is would be judged for that. It also has nothing to do with my academics or potential in the field. I understand your point but there was much more to that.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

And I also think I explained myself a few times in that thread. If grad students and future grad students are entitled to a meltdown every now and then then I don't see why is would be judged for that. It also has nothing to do with my academics or potential in the field. I understand your point but there was much more to that.

I think there's a difference between having a meltdown and a completely naive view of reality (no offense). You can be talked out of a meltdown. You really can't be talked out of naivety. 

[LittleDarlings]

It wasn't a naive opinion... It was the truth so oh well.

You really don't know my mental state at that point so you can't say whether it was a break down or what because you don't know.

Edited December 26, 2013 by Pinkster12

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

It wasn't a naive opinion... It was the truth so oh well.

You really don't know my mental state at that point so you can't say whether it was a break down or what because you don't know.

Your comments in the "baby on the way" thread were truth? Okay. 

[LittleDarlings]

They were true to me, as far as I'm concerned yeah they were. Maybe they were a lot harsher than they should have been but the point wasn't wrong

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

They were true to me, as far as I'm concerned yeah they were. Maybe they were a lot harsher than they should have been but the point wasn't wrong

Aren't you jealous of someone who got pregnant within a month of meeting someone? But the guy in "baby on the way" was with his girlfriend for 5 years, owned a home and 2 cars together, and was somehow irresponsible? That doesn't make any sense. Your version of truth is false. 

Edited December 26, 2013 by Gnome Chomsky

[LittleDarlings]

Aren't you jealous of someone who got pregnant within a month of meeting someone? But the guy in "baby on the way" was with his girlfriend for 5 years, owned a home and 2 cars together, and was somehow irresponsible? That doesn't make any sense. Your version of truth is false.

I'm not rehashing this... If you don't like what I said too bad. I said it, it was harsh I feel bad about that part but too late. Don't care. Moving on... And THAT is the truth. Having a baby with anyone unplanned is irresponsible. Edited December 26, 2013 by Pinkster12

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

I'm not rehashing this... If you don't like what I said too bad. I said it, it was harsh I feel bad about that part but too late. Don't care. Moving on... And THAT is the truth. Having a baby with anyone unplanned is irresponsible.

Then why are you jealous of your friend? That means that you wish you were also irresponsible. 

[LittleDarlings]

I'm jealous of the fact that she is having a baby in general. I'm not jealous of the situation because ideally I want to be married before I have kids. Anyways this thread isn't for that if you have personal questions you can message me or put it in my other post...

[Sigaba]

Then why are you jealous of your friend? That means that you wish you were also irresponsible. 

 

@joeyboy718 I / @Gnome Chomsky, do you think you've put your best foot forward on this BB any better than Pinkster12? You've indicated that you were in the armed forces, but then where is your situational awareness?

[Loric]

Oh.. the presumption.. the pretense.. it's stifling.

 

And the comment about "hateful things said about sex workers.." - wow, just wow...

 

I'm not going into any program that would touch these forums with a 10ft pole and nothing one would google about me would lead here. So your method of keeping me quiet is a failure.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

@joeyboy718 I / @Gnome Chomsky, do you think you've put your best foot forward on this BB any better than Pinkster12? You've indicated that you were in the armed forces, but then where is your situational awareness?

Haha you're annoying. And you still haven't answered my questions I asked you in this thread. I didn't change my name from JoeyBoy718 to hide my identity. I changed it because I liked the name and it went with my profile pic. Why don't you tone down your high and mighty for a minute and tell me what I said that was so inappropriate? And I don't think I'm better than Pinskter12. If you actually read anything instead of just obsessing over me, you'd see that I went out of my way many times to try to give her good advice in the other threads. I'm just trying to make her see that some of her comments/opinions are contradictory. I'm not trying to belittle her. I like her. Why are you on my dick so bad? Loric made a ridiculous thread, most likely a spoof of Pinkster's husband thread, and I made a joke. You said my joke was inappropriate. I disagreed with you. I gave you my reasons why I disagree in this thread. My reasons were, my joke alluded to the fact that I prefer younger (yet still adult) college students. Somehow you found this utterly repulsive and highly inappropriate. I went on to say that this is no different from other people who have other sexual preferences, such as same sex, older, younger, certain body type, certain race. You're annoying, Sigaba. If you're actually a committee member of one of my prospective grad programs posing as a pretentious history student, then I hope you reject my application.