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so i met this girl... advice needed


az91

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Hey all, well... Im a grad student and.I've been feeling lonely for a while but a week ago I met this girl who was great... She's really fun to talk to but we only talked for 15 minutes and then she had to get on the metro. I didn't take her phone number or any information. It was kinda fun never knowing if I'm gonna meet her again and I didn't meet her at the metro again. But last night I met her by chance and we started talking for 40 minutes and she told me she had to.go to the library but she will walk with me half way, but we passed the library then we kept walking and talking and eventually we sat near a park in the university for 20 minutes before she walked me near the metro when I had to leave.

During our talk she said something's that she told me that she never tells people about even her friends also she told me about her best friend who now they don't talk because he wanted more than just being friends with her.. Will this be a problem for me? I mean what if she doesn't want to be in a relationship or what if she just needs someone to talk to??

and again I did not take her phone number but she told me that she works at a cafe nearby so i told her I'll pass by to buy you a cup of coffee someday and thats it.... Was that a good thing to do? And I'm thinking of seeing her tonight at the cafe and maybe ask her out... I'm not sure though!?

BTW. I don't have strong experience in these things. I'm more of an introvert do I haven't really had a girlfriend except once a few Yeats ago.

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Tbh, you should have gotten her number. Now you know to say "hey, talking to you was really fun, we should hang out again, whats your number?" after talking to ANYONE for 40 minutes. Thats how you make friends, and is not a 'dating' thing. 

 

Stop by her cafe and ask if she wants to do something after work. Make sure to get her number. Even if she doesn't want a romantic relationship, she probably wants a friend. If you are ok with her just being a friend, then you are set. 

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Yea I'm OK with her being a friend only. Ill pass by today and ask her for her number.... Hopefully things will work out... Thanks for the reply... And any more advice would be great

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Start out as friends!  If that progresses to something more that's great (my LTR did). But in grad school a good friend is highly valuable.  Definitely as for her number and see what happens.  You have already talked a lot, so you know she likes your company!

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During our talk she said something's that she told me that she never tells people about even her friends also she told me about her best friend who now they don't talk because he wanted more than just being friends with her.. Will this be a problem for me? I mean what if she doesn't want to be in a relationship or what if she just needs someone to talk to??

 

Hey az91, just a word of slight caution. If you really like her, and if you would like things to progress romantically then pay close attention to cues like this. She may have told you about her old best friend because she's hinting that she's looking for a friend and not a lover.  I've known many a smart, pretty girl, who forever have to deal with too many guyfriends falling in love with them, often while pretending to be just friends. (I've also been one of those guys once) Sooner or later those feelings get revealed a make a mess of things.

 

Sure get her number, ask her out. But if you're looking for a relationship be honest about that (that is, just flirt). If she's just looking for friendship don't play along unless you know you're not going to want more down the road.

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Aww you're so adorable! I think you should totally go by the cafe and ask her out.  So far you seem to have been a gentleman and you never know unless you try right? So ask her out worst she could say is no.  If nothing else you have a friend. 

 

 

ETA: Oh I am super late on my advice haha well good luck 

Edited by LittleDarlings
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Wish I was here earlier to advise you against the number :( the randomness of meeting in person made it cute...aww I'm happy for you, I skim read but since she told you about friendzoning the other guy you need to approach VERY SLOWLY. All the best, update us on what happens!!

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I think approaching very slowly is a bad idea. chat her up and make her know you like her. If it doesn't work out, move on. Don't spend weeks and months on an elaborate plan to make someone your girlfriend, when you can show them who you are up front and get through with the first step. that'd be my approach anyway. there's no right answer to this

Edited by spectastic
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Wish I was here earlier to advise you against the number :( the randomness of meeting in person made it cute...aww I'm happy for you, I skim read but since she told you about friendzoning the other guy you need to approach VERY SLOWLY. All the best, update us on what happens!!

I can't take anybody who uses friendzone unironically seriously.

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