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The Wait is Getting Scary, Now


SuitCoatMan

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I am hoping to find people I can relate to!

 

I applied to 14 different programs and have receieved only a single response, mid-February. Complete radio silence from everywhere else, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to push it all from my mind. It's especially tough since where I get accepted will largely shape the specifics of what research I pursue, and so I am in this sort of purgatory where I don't know what I should be focusing on!

 

I'm trying to get my schoolwork done and focus on what needs to get done NOW, but the uncertainty is just so overwhelming. My fiance and I are moving away to grad school, and it seems so strange to not know where we will be living in just a few months, for the next 5 - 7 years.

 

Any advice on beating back the encroaching gloom? As the weeks drag on without any news, how can we stay hopeful? SHOULD we be hopeful??

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the same situation.

I applied to 7 programs. no single word from any of them,

Tow days ago, I contacted one school, they said to me we already rejected some and this good news for me.

I do not know what does "good news for me' mean?1 

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the same situation.

I applied to 7 programs. no single word from any of them,

Tow days ago, I contacted one school, they said to me we already rejected some and this good news for me.

I do not know what does "good news for me' mean?1 

It means you made it past the first round of rejections, and you still have a chance of getting accepted.

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Earlier this week I was still waiting for 2 of 3 programs (with December deadlines) and I told a friend I felt like a shell of a person, these programs had taken the life from me.  I had lost any self confidence I once had.  As of today I've heard back from all and I can say I'm feeling more human than I have in the past 6 months.  Even a rejection made me feel better because it was better than not knowing. 

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It means you made it past the first round of rejections, and you still have a chance of getting accepted.

 

 

this university is not my top choice.

it happened the same with my top choice.

I saw some rejections and acceptances here on gradcafe.

I contacted the program they said "still under review"  

i think I'm not the best applicant but not bad also. ( i do not have research experience )

i think because i have external funding they keep my application until the end.

my friend is studying in Arizona state university and he talked with a professor about my application.

he said he is funded why we do not accept him.  that is really give me a big hope.

Edited by Hani2015
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Try to contact the programs if you are not longer confortable waiting. It's a fair chance that they will reply about your status. You have the right to get this kind of information, which also is valuable for you about your overall decisions.

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I'm in the same boat, granted I'm an MA applicant so I can only imagine what PhD applicants are feeling right now. But, I applied to 7 programs, all by their priority deadlines, and have only heard back from 2 (rejected). One in February and the other the first week of March. The remaining 5 have been incredibly silent. When I look up the status, its just telling me "Submitted" or "Under Review." When you're trying to plan the next 6 months of your life around possibly having to move, working the jobs your currently have and a relationship, it becomes very stressful. You can't think or do anything else.

Edited by SocialHermit1
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 When you're trying to plan the next 6 months of your life around possibly having to move, working the jobs your currently have and a relationship, it becomes very stressful. You can't think or do anything else.

 

It's horrible. My girlfriend has gotten into 5 master's programs, so she isn't very worried about it anymore. I am.

I'm debating emailing the programs and asking for an update, but I am torn. I can't decide if I would rather stay ignorant of possible rejections or just know and get it over with...

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I called both the programs I applied to yesterday.  My opening statement to both was essentially "Hi, I applied to your graduate program and I have yet to hear anything.  Should I start looking for a job or is there still hope?"  Both are still making decisions... One did email me later with the news that a specific person with a real sounding name would get back to me by the end of the week.  I'm kind of taking it for granted it'll be bad news...if it were good wouldn't the assistant have said?

 

Ah well, I just need to know either way so I can focus for more than 5 minutes without checking my email.  

Edited by busybeinganxious
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It's horrible. My girlfriend has gotten into 5 master's programs, so she isn't very worried about it anymore. I am.

I'm debating emailing the programs and asking for an update, but I am torn. I can't decide if I would rather stay ignorant of possible rejections or just know and get it over with...

 

WOW, your girlfriend is lucky. I can see why she's not worried anymore. But, I feel you. I got accepted into 1 school earlier this week, but I'm still stressed because I haven't heard from the remaining 4. I don't want to make a decision just yet, so I'm still in the waiting period. 

 

I actually called the departments and asked for an update or if there was anything wrong with my application in regards to why it was taking so long/delayed. So, maybe that reassurance from talking to a person would help? I also emailed graduate advisors, but they were pretty silent. 

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I'm in the same boat as you. I applied to 7 different schools and got rejected from 4 of them!

 

3 more(Duke, JHU and UC Irvine) to go. but i don't see any chances of me getting into any of those. although fingers crossed!

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I finally broke down and emailed some of the programs I applied to, only to find out that I've been rejected or waitlisted. Currently, I have faced rejections from every single program I applied to outside of two - and one of them is just a waitlist, which is what I now refer to as a "two step" rejection.

I am not a bad applicant. I have a 4.0 GPA in both my undergrad and masters degrees and have research, volunteer and work experience. My GRE scores are meh, but not awful.

But....I am international and applied to public schools. The competition is stiff, to say the least.

I have one last hope left and then I have to consign myself to enduring this process all over again next year, without any guarantees that it will go better a second time around.

I do not deny that I have felt hopeless on more than one occasion, and that I have struggled with having come so far for what seems like nothing. I come from an impoverished background and figured I would give it my best shot to escape the low income, dead end job trap... It pains me to see myself standing this close to the brink of failure. Yes. I will try again.

But the brutality of this process, this constant feeling of rejection and failure that tears at the very substance of one's self worth - after living with it for months, I dread having to face it again.

I hope you get your acceptance. And somewhere in me I still hope for mine.

Edited by floatingmolecule
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I finally broke down and emailed some of the programs I applied to, only to find out that I've been rejected or waitlisted. Currently, I have faced rejections from every single program I applied to outside of two - and one of them is just a waitlist, which is what I now refer to as a "two step" rejection.

I am not a bad applicant. I have a 4.0 GPA in both my undergrad and masters degrees and have research, volunteer and work experience. My GRE scores are meh, but not awful.

But....I am international and applied to public schools. The competition is stiff, to say the least.

I have one last hope left and then I have to consign myself to enduring this process all over again next year, without any guarantees that it will go better a second time around.

I do not deny that I have felt hopeless on more than one occasion, and that I have struggled with having come so far for what seems like nothing. I come from an impoverished background and figured I would give it my best shot to escape the low income, dead end job trap... It pains me to see myself standing this close to the brink of failure. Yes. I will try again.

But the brutality of this process, this constant feeling of rejection and failure that tears at the very substance of one's self worth - after living with it for months, I dread having to face it again.

I hope you get your acceptance. And somewhere in me I still hope for mine.

 

I'm in a similar nervous break down mode right now, for various reasons... though I have been accepted at all the schools I applied, I cannot go without funding and have heard no word about funding. But you know what? It's not all for nothing, and we're going to get where we want and need in life because we won't give up right? If its not this year, it'll be next year, or the year after that. Whenever the Universe is ready for us. Don't lose heart, or think that you're destined for something less. Find your faults, fix them, and apply again. You'll get in, because you want this. And the Universe rewards people who do not give up.

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I'm in a similar nervous break down mode right now, for various reasons... though I have been accepted at all the schools I applied, I cannot go without funding and have heard no word about funding. But you know what? It's not all for nothing, and we're going to get where we want and need in life because we won't give up right? If its not this year, it'll be next year, or the year after that. Whenever the Universe is ready for us. Don't lose heart, or think that you're destined for something less. Find your faults, fix them, and apply again. You'll get in, because you want this. And the Universe rewards people who do not give up.

Yes. You are totally right. I do not intend to give up, not this year or the next, or any year after that. Eventually sheer determination and the will to keep improving will get us out of this state of purgatory, this wait list of a life.

I am thankful to have found others who know what the struggle is like. And I hope that we can set examples for those still to come that it is possible if you keep trying and don't lose hope. We can do this!

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Some said if u did hear by March u r rejected.

Is that true?

 

No, this is not true.  Some universities have not made any decisions yet or are still considering a second or third wave of applications.  So there is still hope, even if chances do go down as time progresses.

Sometimes, however,  you might have been placed on a "secret" waitlist and are not notified of its existence.  I had to inquire about my application in order to find out about my waitlist status. 

Edited by floatingmolecule
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Yes scary is true but late doesn't mean anything when you check the boards for April there are plenty of acceptances and even some in May. Never lose a positive attitude.  

 

Yes, my last school (the only one that did not reject or waitlist me) has a very long review process, and I know that they are still considering applications, so it is entirely possible that they might want me!  I will not give up until I hear from them.

Not hearing anything still means there is a chance. Even in March!

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Same here.. applied to 6 program got 2 rejections (which were expected) but have not heard anything from the other 4 schools. 

The same happened when I applied for PhD 2 years ago.. did not hear anything till end of April then started getting rejections from all 10 programs I applied. 

I am starting to lose confidence and can't focus on my work these days. My friend keeps saying me to stay positive because he got acceptance in June for his PhD... But it's getting real hard to have some hope!

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did not hear anything till end of April then started getting rejections from all 10 programs I applied. 

I am starting to lose confidence and can't focus on my work these days. My friend keeps saying me to stay positive because he got acceptance in June for his PhD...

 

How is this possible?? I thought the (almost) universal date that you need to accept offers is April 15th. What do they expect you to do, let the deadline blow past on the chance that you're accepted? Let's hope we all hear back before then.

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Yes, my last school (the only one that did not reject or waitlist me) has a very long review process, and I know that they are still considering applications, so it is entirely possible that they might want me!  I will not give up until I hear from them.

Not hearing anything still means there is a chance. Even in March!

Keep your head up! Your credentials sound good, you will definitely get in somewhere. If not this cycle, don't despair. Take the next year to destress from the application process and get the motivation to apply again.

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First of all: Congratulations to Hani2015!!!! Great to see one of us having some luck. You deserve this and I am very happy for you!! You must be so excited!

Keep your head up! Your credentials sound good, you will definitely get in somewhere. If not this cycle, don't despair. Take the next year to destress from the application process and get the motivation to apply again.

I am still hoping on that last school that hasn't reached any decisions yet. And if that doesn't pan out then I will try again next year. I will retake the GRE, work part time in a coffee shop or something while I volunteer in a lab somewhere.

Thanks for the kind words. I won't give up!

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