Telling state school I turned down an Ivy for them?

[Wang Sina]

I was accepted to a handful of schools.  My decision ultimately came down to an Ivy and a large state school that has a strong program in my area of specialization.

After visiting both schools, asking the advice of many people in my field, and spending sleepless nights thinking about my future, I determined the state school was my better option.

There is a part of me that wants to let the state school know I turned down an Ivy to accept their offer.  I am hoping that maybe they will value me more if they knew.

Is this an asshole, narcissistic move?  Is there any diplomatic way to let them know?

[Markerz]

Personally I would let them know, not coming from a narcasistic asshole perspective more comming from a you guys are so great I picked you over *blank* I feel like it will make them feel better about their attractability. Not sure if it will make them value you more but the way I figured it will make everyone from the small school feel better to know. Now HOW to delive that news... I dont know. Perhaps in your acceptance. "Hey guys Im sorry it took so long to decide it was a very hard decision that came down to you vs BLANK you won. Looking forward to working with you next year! something like that?

[eternallyephemeral]

I don't think it's necessary or that you should do it.

Frankly, you don't need to try and improve the school's self esteem, I'm sure they're doing alright.

Why would they value you more? What would that even accomplish, tangibly?

I have yet to figure out a legitimate reason to go out of your way to tell them. If it comes up organically, then you don't have to shy away from it, but you won't get more money/fame/recognition and you don't need to help the school; they have been doing fine so far.

[knp]

If you think that, among all the students who have ever been admitted to both departments, 80-100% have historically chosen the Ivy, I don't have a recommendation for what you should do one way or the other. They might find it perplexing to get your email letting them know, but it's your business and I don't have strong advice either way. 

If the departments usually compete on about an equal footing for students, however—where 20% or more students might normally choose the state school—be quiet and do not tell them. (I mean, don't keep it a secret if it comes up! But there is no reason to go out of your way to let them know.) Why? Because the response, if the departments usually are able to compete for the same pool of prospective students, is going to be something like, "Oh, you're letting us know that you think we're peers with Brown? Yeah, we know."

[rising_star]

3 hours ago, Wang Sina said:

There is a part of me that wants to let the state school know I turned down an Ivy to accept their offer.  I am hoping that maybe they will value me more if they knew.

Is this an asshole, narcissistic move?  Is there any diplomatic way to let them know?

IMO, yes, it is. If they ask what other offers you were considering, then you should tell them. Bringing it up is just silly.

[preantepenultimate]

I know where you're coming from, but would recommend that you avoid bringing it up on your own. There are just too many ways for it to be interpreted negatively (e.g., narcissistic, like you suggested), and I don't think it would cause them to value you any more than they already do from your application/interview.

There might be an exception if you were using a funding offer at an Ivy as leverage for funding elsewhere, but if you are already funded, I'd leave it alone.

[TakeruK]

4 hours ago, Wang Sina said:

I was accepted to a handful of schools.  My decision ultimately came down to an Ivy and a large state school that has a strong program in my area of specialization.

After visiting both schools, asking the advice of many people in my field, and spending sleepless nights thinking about my future, I determined the state school was my better option.

There is a part of me that wants to let the state school know I turned down an Ivy to accept their offer.  I am hoping that maybe they will value me more if they knew.

Is this an asshole, narcissistic move?  Is there any diplomatic way to let them know?

So, I saw a lot of interesting threads this morning. After reading all of the thread titles and thinking carefully, I chose to reply to your thread instead of all the other threads! I hope you will value my reply more!

Doesn't that sound silly? I agree with everyone else, there is no need to let them know and in fact, there is no way you can bring this up without sounding arrogant and narcissistic. Also, I don't think a school will value you more because of this. If you were one of their top candidates and they were excited to recruit you, then whether or not you turned down another school for them is not important. They are still going to be excited and welcoming to you because they are interested in you. And if you were in the middle of the pack of their accepted students, then knowing this information will not change anything. Plus, in general, schools are going to be excited about all of their applicants. 

[COGSCI]

I am in the same position but I did not even tell my POI that I got any other offers because I am fully committed to the program of my choice.

Getting into a rigorous school can be shared at your dinner table with your family and friends but intentionally bringing up and saying that you choice THIS over THAT would just look.... (Fill in the blank). It might come up during your PhD years but don't be a... (Again, fill in the blank LOL)

[Vulpix]

All the schools I have just declined/accepted have asked me to take an exit survey in which I list all the other schools I was accepted to and which one I picked/didn't pick.  Your state school doesn't do that?  I thought for their own admissions data collection they'd simply ask you in an anonymous survey what other schools you were considering.  At least, I had the opportunity to share that in surveys from all of my schools.

Actually, NYU never asked me.  But Penn, Columbia, and Harvard all wanted to know where else I had applied to and gotten into.  

[fuzzylogician]

Imagine going on a first date and telling the person that you chose to date them over someone else that most people would consider more attractive. Is there any way that you can see that being interpreted positively? It's one thing if they ask, but I would not volunteer this information and I don't think it'll go over well if you do. 

[juilletmercredi]

What do you hope to gain from telling the school this? "Value" you more? In what way?

Also, I think this comes from the fallacy that private schools (and schools in a specific athletic conference) are "better" than public schools. In my two fields, UCLA, UNC-Chapel Hill, Michigan, UW-Seattle, UW-Madison, Minnesota, UT-Austin, and Virginia are better than several Ivies and other privates.