Things to Do While You Wait for Decisions

[Warelin]

6 minutes ago, Metaellipses said:

Ack! So envious! A student this past semester took away my chili pepper from the semester before. I didn't know it was possible, but apparently the chili pepper is awarded as a ratio of total students or something, so if a reviewing student chooses not to assign it to their eval, it can be taken away.

I'd give you all the chili peppers for an acceptance to Rutgers next year. That and Cornell are currently the two schools with the best fit.

I think some students also get offended when they don't earn an A+ on papers. Last year, I had a student complain because they didn't earn an A+ even though the grade doesn't exist at the university's grading system. So, I wouldn't take it too personally.

[Metaellipses]

If only I could wave my magic wand and get all you great GCers acceptances!

[crugs]

Things to do: Overthink everything that crosses your path and ruminate on the disappointment you're going to cause all the people when you don't get in certain places....

...My sister's Save the Date just came out and they did it Newspaper-style (Daily Prophet style to be precise) and had 'horoscopes' for all of the family...obviously theirs were "Marriage in your future" then it said 

Leo: Outlook Windy.

I read it like six times and was so upset (just assuming they were being dicks because everyone else has their life together and I'm over here in shambles) but then my mom explained it's probably because UChicago was my top choice.....Womp womp. I don't know if that made me feel better or worse hahaaah

[Dr. Old Bill]

3 minutes ago, crugs said:

 

Leo: Outlook Windy.

I read it like six times and was so upset (just assuming they were being dicks because everyone else has their life together and I'm over here in shambles) but then my mom explained it's probably because UChicago was my top choice.....Womp womp. I don't know if that made me feel better or worse hahaaah

Or perhaps because acceptance will be a breeze! 


On another note, when I got my OSU acceptance last week I figured I would no longer feel the strain and impatience of waiting. Boy was I ever wrong...  I'm still thrilled that I have a place to go -- and one of my top choices, at that -- but I guess it's just the pull of finality and the sheer uncertainty of my full spectrum of options that continues to make the waiting difficult...

[crugs]

3 minutes ago, Wyatt's Terps said:

Or perhaps because acceptance will be a breeze! 


On another note, when I got my OSU acceptance last week I figured I would no longer feel the strain and impatience of waiting. Boy was I ever wrong...  I'm still thrilled that I have a place to go -- and one of my top choices, at that -- but I guess it's just the pull of finality and the sheer uncertainty of my full spectrum of options that continues to make the waiting difficult...

hah! I hope so!

I hear you--waiting is never going to be easy! 

[Yanaka]

@crugs the same thing would have happened to me--I would have misinterpreted, my mon would have explained, and then I would have felt both flattered and sad! 

[Warelin]

 

Hope everyone gets accepted so I have less competition next year.

I'm not even applying this cycle but it's interesting to hear the different interests different people have and I hope it's something that continues.

[Warelin]

3 minutes ago, claritus said:

Well I'm just applying for the free vacations, so I'll definitely be back next year even if I am accepted somewhere  

I'll look forward to your presence!

[Caien]

4 hours ago, Wyatt's Terps said:

On another note, when I got my OSU acceptance last week I figured I would no longer feel the strain and impatience of waiting. Boy was I ever wrong...  I'm still thrilled that I have a place to go -- and one of my top choices, at that -- but I guess it's just the pull of finality and the sheer uncertainty of my full spectrum of options that continues to make the waiting difficult...

When I got my first acceptance I thought I'd relax; at least I'd be going somewhere y'know? Whats actually happened is its like now I'm hooked on offers and waiting for my next fix. I want more... nomnomnomoffers

Edit: And cake, also hooked on the celebratory cake.

Edited January 31, 2017 by Caien

[Dr. Old Bill]

37 minutes ago, Caien said:

When I got my first acceptance I thought I'd relax; at least I'd be going somewhere y'know? Whats actually happened is its like now I'm hooked on offers and waiting for my next fix. I want more... nomnomnomoffers

 

Wow. That's exactly it to a T. I remember disliking it when people did that a couple of years ago, but now I'm an offender...

Edited January 31, 2017 by Wyatt's Terps

[claritus]

I swear too that submitting so many applications inevitable involves a sort of benign split personality situation. I mean, you're speculating on multiple potential futures; even though you only need/can choose one— it's hard to not feel invested in so many subjunctives. It's likely I'm overthinking it, but I see myself becoming a different scholar at each program I applied to, so I'm uniquely attached to each?

[HumanCylinder]

58 minutes ago, claritus said:

I swear too that submitting so many applications inevitable involves a sort of benign split personality situation. I mean, you're speculating on multiple potential futures; even though you only need/can choose one— it's hard to not feel invested in so many subjunctives. It's likely I'm overthinking it, but I see myself becoming a different scholar at each program I applied to, so I'm uniquely attached to each?

 

3 hours ago, Wyatt's Terps said:

Wow. That's exactly it to a T

I applied last cycle and both of these things resonate pretty exactly with how I felt during the process as well, that attachment to potential that becomes a little more real after a first acceptance especially.  Such an unusual phenomenon that I now feel I can process bc others have had similar feelings   I remember how difficult this waiting period was for me last year, and am now feeling strangely nostalgic about it since I was ultimately accepted and very happy in my current program so far (which is why I'm back here reading the boards haha).  Wishing everyone here luck in the remaining months of the acceptance season!

[anxiousphd]

62. Apartment hunt in the areas surrounding the programs to which you applied.

[JessicaLange]

20 hours ago, claritus said:

I swear too that submitting so many applications inevitable involves a sort of benign split personality situation. I mean, you're speculating on multiple potential futures; even though you only need/can choose one— it's hard to not feel invested in so many subjunctives. It's likely I'm overthinking it, but I see myself becoming a different scholar at each program I applied to, so I'm uniquely attached to each?

This is so true. And the ones I really like are taking up a lot of brain space, but then I also realize that some of those were my worst applications, and it's like this weird rejection cycle before I even get a decision one way or the other.

[claritus]

26 minutes ago, JessicaLange said:

This is so true. And the ones I really like are taking up a lot of brain space, but then I also realize that some of those were my worst applications, and it's like this weird rejection cycle before I even get a decision one way or the other.

Yeah, I am deeply attached to my "Berkeley self" even though I'm pretty sure I made myself sound deranged in the personal statement. It would be really hilarious if I wasn't so emotionally involved, because yeah, it does feel like a rejection even beforehand! The psychological push and pull of this whole process is surreal. 

[Lovegood]

@HumanCylinder @Warelin  

Hi, since you two applied last cycle, I want to ask that...Can you remember one year ago when other applicants put their offers on the result page while you didn't hear anything from that same program? Some people say we can consider this situation as implied rejection, but if this is the case, I seem to be rejected by 1/3 of the programs I applied to.

Can't stop worrying about being rejected by all the programs.

Edited February 3, 2017 by Lovegood

[Warelin]

1 hour ago, Lovegood said:

@HumanCylinder @Warelin  

Hi, since you two applied last cycle, I want to ask that...Can you remember one year ago when other applicants put their offers on the result page while you didn't hear anything from that same program? Some people say we can consider this situation as implied rejection, but if this is the case, I seem to be rejected by 1/3 of the programs I applied to.

Can't stop worrying about being rejected by all the programs.

It really depends on the school. Some schools do notify in waves. They start with those they'd like to offer high-end fellowships first, then move on to regular admits, then waitlists.

Some schools like Emory, Notre Dame, and Chicago do interviews. Not getting an interview usually means an implied rejection.

If a school has gone 1 week since its last acceptance, it might be an implied rejection or it might be a secret waitlist. There are programs that don't officially notify people of their waitlist status as they wait to see if their first choice for that genre accepts the offer.

It's a game that I don't look forward to replaying next year after earning my master's in English. I do look forward to a stronger application and understanding the process better. I have some terrific professors that will be of great support.

[crugs]

4 minutes ago, Warelin said:

Some schools like Emory, Notre Dame, and Chicago do interviews. Not getting an interview usually means an implied rejection.

I feel like this seems so obvious, but trying to explain it to my family has been a nightmare... "Why are you upset? Stay positive. You don't KNOW you didn't get into UChicago". I finally snapped at my sister and said "If you applied for a job and 45 people got interviews for 10 spots and you didn't even get an interview, would you assume they'd just skip over the other 35 people who did to offer you a spot?"

Sometimes I wish they'd all stop telling me to be positive...I like hearing it here from all of you, because you all understand and are going through it too--so it somehow just feels more genuine and helpful, but I don't know how to handle the constant 'chin up's from others. Anyone have any good advice to handle being grateful for their support but also avoiding all mention of the process?

[loganondorf]

6 minutes ago, crugs said:

I feel like this seems so obvious, but trying to explain it to my family has been a nightmare... "Why are you upset? Stay positive. You don't KNOW you didn't get into UChicago". I finally snapped at my sister and said "If you applied for a job and 45 people got interviews for 10 spots and you didn't even get an interview, would you assume they'd just skip over the other 35 people who did to offer you a spot?"

Sometimes I wish they'd all stop telling me to be positive...I like hearing it here from all of you, because you all understand and are going through it too--so it somehow just feels more genuine and helpful, but I don't know how to handle the constant 'chin up's from others. Anyone have any good advice to handle being grateful for their support but also avoiding all mention of the process?

My best technique has been to remind people that it's in my best interests to assume all rejections, both to keep myself sane and to make it easier to handle them when they come. That seems to be about the only thing that gets through to people, and after I've explained this, they tend to keep their excitement and optimism from bubbling over. That said, I'm also trying to take solace in knowing that even if I don't get accepted anywhere, to the people in my life, I'm brilliant, dedicated, and destined for success. It's nice to know that others see the best in us, particularly when we can't quite manage it.

[Warelin]

5 minutes ago, crugs said:

I feel like this seems so obvious, but trying to explain it to my family has been a nightmare... "Why are you upset? Stay positive. You don't KNOW you didn't get into UChicago". I finally snapped at my sister and said "If you applied for a job and 45 people got interviews for 10 spots and you didn't even get an interview, would you assume they'd just skip over the other 35 people who did to offer you a spot?"

Sometimes I wish they'd all stop telling me to be positive...I like hearing it here from all of you, because you all understand and are going through it too--so it somehow just feels more genuine and helpful, but I don't know how to handle the constant 'chin up's from others. Anyone have any good advice to handle being grateful for their support but also avoiding all mention of the process?

...or the "which school did you decide on going to" prior to submitting any applications. As if applying to a school meant an automatic acceptance.

Don't get me wrong. Optimism can be a good thing but I'd rather prepare for the worst and be pleasantly surprised by the outcomes instead of thinking I'd get in everywhere and be rejected everywhere. I think an understanding community is a crucial part of the application process to save the tiniest bits of sanity we have remaining. (Also, there could be people you meet that you might just be interested in collaborating with on a research project in the future.)

[Lovegood]

10 minutes ago, Warelin said:

It really depends on the school. Some schools do notify in waves. They start with those they'd like to offer high-end fellowships first, then move on to regular admits, then waitlists.

Some schools like Emory, Notre Dame, and Chicago do interviews. Not getting an interview usually means an implied rejection.

If a school has gone 1 week since its last acceptance, it might be an implied rejection or it might be a secret waitlist. There are programs that don't officially notify people of their waitlist status as they wait to see if their first choice for that genre accepts the offer.

It's a game that I don't look forward to replaying next year after earning my master's in English. I do look forward to a stronger application and understanding the process better. I have some terrific professors that will be of great support.

Thank you Warelin,

Yes, it is a tough game. You pay, you play, but you dare not to ask: why not me? why it took you so long to reject? 

2 minutes ago, crugs said:

I feel like this seems so obvious, but trying to explain it to my family has been a nightmare... "Why are you upset? Stay positive. You don't KNOW you didn't get into UChicago". I finally snapped at my sister and said "If you applied for a job and 45 people got interviews for 10 spots and you didn't even get an interview, would you assume they'd just skip over the other 35 people who did to offer you a spot?"

Sometimes I wish they'd all stop telling me to be positive...I like hearing it here from all of you, because you all understand and are going through it too--so it somehow just feels more genuine and helpful, but I don't know how to handle the constant 'chin up's from others. Anyone have any good advice to handle being grateful for their support but also avoiding all mention of the process?

Hi, crugs. I choose to say：Still waiting for good news. Only one official rejection----But I know the truth, and I am very pessimistic. 

I don't tell other family members about my applications, and they keep asking me: "Do you get a job?", "Have you met some guys?" 

[Dr. Old Bill]

This almost deserves its own topic: How to Talk to Non-academics about the Application Process.

Neither of my parents went to college. My father put together a solid blue collar career, and was reasonably successful, but trying to explain anything remotely academic to him is like talking to a toddler. When I was telling him about my OSU acceptance, he was happy and proud, of course, but the follow-up dialogue went something like this:

Him: So...you still have to finish your master's, right?
Me: Yes...
Him: So, what would happen if you failed your last semester?
Me: Um, that would never happen
Him: Okay, but what would happen? Would they still let you in?
Me: Dad, I don't think you understand...that just wouldn't happen
Him: But say you got like a C- in your last courses...would they take away the offer?
Me: Probably, but you have to understand that when you've worked this hard for this long, that just doesn't happen
Him: But what if you just decided you wanted to party for your last semester and didn't work hard...what then?
Me: ##$&@ @#*@*( #*#(!!

[Lovegood]

5 minutes ago, Wyatt's Terps said:

 

This almost deserves its own topic: How to Talk to Non-academics about the Application Process.

 

My parents are very supportive and they paid for the costs of applications and GRE, TOEFL tests. That's why I feel upset when they say: You applied to 15 programs, at least one will accept you, right?---I hate to disappoint them. 

[crugs]

24 minutes ago, Lovegood said:

 

I don't tell other family members about my applications, and they keep asking me: "Do you get a job?", "Have you met some guys?" 

hahahahah by the end of the summer both my sisters will have gotten married within a year of each other and have jobs they're passionate about and love so being single and in limbo for where I'll be next year makes keeping up at family gatherings a chore! 

[Lovegood]

50 minutes ago, loganondorf said:

My best technique has been to remind people that it's in my best interests to assume all rejections,

People who are courageous enough, acknowledging that life is rife with pain and conflict, just as it's filled with compassion and joy.

But people like me, just take the acceptances as the most indispensable achievements at this point. Fear to lose, or go through a second time. 

Edited February 3, 2017 by Lovegood