How to Present Yourself (Superficially)

[melaniejane]

To my surprise, I apparently have choices. That being said, I have been invited to a few admitted students days. However, I am at a complete loss on how to present myself. I am not so much worried about personality and articulation, rather superficial things i.e. what to wear, how to style my hair, etc.

I know that I've already been admitted, but this is particularly important to me as I have not had any interviews, and my main priority on these visits is to get a feel for how likely it would be that my POI will be my supervisor/sit on my committee [long story short, I'm a first-gen student and did everything wrong, so I've had 0 contact with potential advisers and have no idea what's going to happen or who I will be working with.] Basically, I want to make a good first impression, especially since I will probably be the youngest student in my cohort. 

Some info about me: Female, busty, and ... I have purple and red hair. 

I usually wear blacks and grays, and always wear leggings unless I'm giving presentations, attending meetings/conferences, etc. I'm coming from a not-so-great undergrad university and my first visit will be to a tier 1 (my top choice). I'm used to most professors and students wearing t-shirts and jeans, even at the grad level. 

Main concerns: Do I need to dye my hair a neutral color? Should I wear makeup (obviously not overdone)? Will I be okay wearing leggings, if I pair them with boots, blouses, and long cardigans, or should I opt for skinny slacks with blouses and blazers? 

It should be about 40-50 degrees during the day. I don't want to be overdressed, nor undressed. If someone could please offer some advice I would greatly appreciate!

P.S. Sorry for the long post!

 

[TakeruK]

I understand how you feel! I am also a first-gen college student and I had a lot of concerns visiting my top choice (tier 1) school. I had never set foot on such a campus before, even as a visitor, so I had no idea what to expect. When everyone introduced themselves at the very first event, I felt very inadequate compared to everyone else in the room, who mostly came from other Ivy League and top tier schools. Fortunately, it turns out that everyone was actually very nice and when I actually counted later, it was something like 60% of people coming from top tier programs instead of what it felt like when I was sitting there (90%). 60% is still over-represented of course, but that's a different story!

For your main concerns, here are my thoughts:

- You don't need to dye your hair a neutral colour

- Wear makeup if you like, don't wear it if you don't want to. Do what makes you feel comfortable

- For clothing, I think it would depend on your field/the school you're visiting. My field is very casual and being on the west coast, people don't dress up much. For my department (west coast school), blazers or jackets would be way too over dressed. I am not super familiar with women's clothing and I'm not sure if a "blouse" necessarily implies that there must be buttons. So, to be clear, I will say that if you pick a top with buttons and a collar, at my department, you will be at the most dressed up end. If you pick a nice t-shirt (i.e. not a band shirt, or giant graphics), you will be at the most casual end (but still acceptable). For pants, clean jeans is fine and would probably represent the most casual option. The most dressed up option would be nice slacks. 

[orange turtle]

First, congratulations on being admitted!

Hair colour: I wouldn't dye your hair neutral.

Makeup: I think it's fine to wear makeup as long as you don't overdo it, like you said. I wouldn't go with long fake eyelashes, extra fake long nails, mascara that runs if the day is too hot, blush that makes your skin too blotchy, etc. My rule of thumb is to wear what you would usually wear so you know you're comfortable with it. This is not the time to experiment with that free gift from Sephora.

Clothes: I second what @TakeruK said about it depending on the field/school you're visiting. In most areas though, you would be pretty safe with a nice pair of jeans (no holes, no rips, no faded wash) and a nice top that doesn't hug too much. You mentioned you're busty. I am on the bustier side as well. I make sure to check that whatever top I am wearing doesn't "pop" when I bend and doesn't show sideways (carry safety pins!), and I also make sure that it doesn't give away anything on the rear end as well. For this reason, I personally steer clear of leggings (awkward panty lines--people know if you're wearing a thong or not) unless I'm wearing a skirt on top. Since your hair is bright, I would recommend a simple/plain blouse, shirt, or top. You want most of the attention to be your work.

If it helps, I interviewed/visited with a simple white top (striped top for a different school), black pants, a scarf, no coat, and flat black shoes. Boring, but it worked. I wanted the profs to focus on my work, not what I wore.

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

I went to visiting days with my hair dyed a fluorescent blue. I also wasn't sure how to act - I was a first gen college student from rural Illinois visiting an Ivy League, the stress of figuring out how to present myself actually made me nauseous.

Looking back, I'm laughing at how much I overthought it. Just wear something comfy but modest. That's literally the only advice you need. Oh, and chill.

[travelgirl125]

First of all, congratulations!!  That's great that you have choices, and I'm sure you'll get good insight from visiting each of the places.

I don't think you need to dye your hair at all, and makeup is totally fine if you like to wear it.  However, I would recommend erring on the side of over-dressed rather than under-dressed, given this is the first time you will be meeting with people who could be your advisor.  Some outfits I would probably wear myself are: leggings with a dress, a blazer, and boots OR work pants (not jeans) with a flowy top, a sweater or a blazer, and flats.

Just my two cents of course.  You know you will be fine either way because you've already been admitted, but for the first time meeting with professors I always like to dress more professionally than I would during the school year.  For what it's worth, though, when I attended my program's event for admitted students, there was definitely a mix of more casual and more professional dress

[lizie.johnson]

I went through this same agony leading up to my interviews!  I did a ton of online searching, and the results of those searches were almost more overwhelming than the interviews!  Some said wear a suit, others said be casual, some said heels, others said heels will kill you.

At the end of the day, I really think you need to wear what you'll be comfortable in.  For me, dressing up helps me feel confident, and that's absolutely something you want for an interview.  I wore slacks and a blazer for my interviews, and I was certainly more dressed up than the grad students and professors, but the interviewees were kind of a mixed bag.  Everyone looked nice, but some people wore suits, others wore slacks and a cardigan or nice blouse.

Since this is an admitted students day, it's probably even more casual than interviews.  You definitely don't need to dye your hair, and just wear your makeup (or lack of makeup) however you usually do!  I personally wouldn't wear leggings unless it was under a sweater dress or dress, but slacks might make you feel overdressed, so I would probably go with (non-ripped) jeans.  But again, wear what will make you feel confident and comfortable.

And the best advice I ever got was to layer!  Maybe wear a nice top under a light cardigan that can be easily removed if you feel hot.  Also, comfortable walking shoes.  I wore heels for interview day, and while it wasn't quite as awful as I was led to believe, it wasn't ideal.  If you'll be going on a tour of campus, you'll definitely want flats or boots.

[lizie.johnson]

8 hours ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

I went to visiting days with my hair dyed a fluorescent blue. I also wasn't sure how to act - I was a first gen college student from rural Illinois visiting an Ivy League, the stress of figuring out how to present myself actually made me nauseous.

Looking back, I'm laughing at how much I overthought it. Just wear something comfy but modest. That's literally the only advice you need. Oh, and chill.

Yeah......  I overthought interview outfits too... 

But hey, it shows you care!

[spectastic]

all i saw was "busty"

 

[juilletmercredi]

I would go smart casual for a visit day - dark jeans and a nice top (blouse would be good). Slacks and a blazer could be fine, too.

You don't need to dye your hair or wear makeup, but I wouldn't wear leggings (unless they're under a dress).

[Need Coffee in an IV]

I wouldn't wear leggings, in the only wise words of blair waldorf "leggings aren't pants!". But really I'm just teasing. I think that you should stick with your gray/black look. So maybe a gray blouse, black wash/dark wash blue jeans, a blazer/jacket that is a pop of color, a scarf that has some of the blazer/jacket's color in it, and warm comfy dark boots. You want to have layers because you may be walking outside, then going into buildings that may be extremely hor or cold.

[spectastic]

yea, leggings are probably bad idea. if you want guys like me to take you seriously, definitely dress conservatively. otherwise, we'll be like "oh hi there.. how ar- beeewwwwbs"

[spectastic]

ok i'm sorry 

[Neist]

I'm just completing my first year, and while I am not a woman, I do have a few thoughts:

As others have stated, don't worry too much. Unless you were pursuing an MBA, I doubt there is a tacit expectation. Even in law school (I worked in a law school for a decade), I saw a full gamut of levels of dress. Some people were super casual, and some people wore professional dress daily. Further, if there is a tacit dress code, I don't think anyone will fault you for not adhering to it at least immediately. I've dressed this first year very casually, but I'm probably going to formal up a bit more this next upcoming year. It just feels apt, but no one has ever even implied that I need to.

If you check out the photos of the faculty members to gauge their levels of dress. If they seem overly formal, maybe you should be a little more so. If their picture is in the park walking their dog, they probably don't mind you dressing down a bit. 

I admit that I may be completely wrong, but it's some things to think about.  

[maelia8]

Dress in what makes you feel comfortable and confident. If you are wearing heels and a slip and stockings but don't have experience wearing them, it will be very obvious that you're outside of your element and you may come across as stiff. On the other hand, if putting on clothes like that has traditionally been your "battle armor" and makes you feel like a badass, then go for it, as your confidence will shine through

[spectastic]

I agree

 

_{beeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwbs}