Positive Thoughts for a Pessimistic Day?

[kristincas]

This is my second application round, and I don't feel as hopeless as I did back during my first application round in 2014. I feel like I have options if this doesn't pan out. My application is much stronger this year, and I've amassed some great research experience. Still, on a pessimistic day, it seems like nothing will beat out the competition and I'll waste so much energy on anxiety for nothing. What keeps you going during the waiting game? What do you think about instead of comparing yourself to others or scrutinizing your CV? 

[bumbleblu]

I'm in the same boat. I went 0 for 9 in 2015, and while I feel much more confident about my application this year, it's hard to expect different results. I haven't quite figured out how to not worry about it, but I've been telling myself that I did my best and whatever happens, happens. Also I've been thinking about possible backup plans I might enjoy, just in case. 

[PokePsych]

1. Don't compare yourself. Sometimes people with a less amazing resume get the position. Maybe that lab had already too many women and they were looking for a guy. Maybe someone had training in something they were looking for.

2. On a similar note: Never take rejections personally or think you're not qualified.

3. Realize that the admissions can be super random. I spoke to one of the prof's at my department and he decided between two applicants by flipping a coin (I KID YOU NOT). 

Try to distract yourself and do different things. I'm trying to learn a new language, work on some research projects I still have going, take the day off to use my camera, meet friends, trying to get better at yoga, etc. 

[kristincas]

9 hours ago, Psygeek said:

1. Don't compare yourself. Sometimes people with a less amazing resume get the position. Maybe that lab had already too many women and they were looking for a guy. Maybe someone had training in something they were looking for.

2. On a similar note: Never take rejections personally or think you're not qualified.

3. Realize that the admissions can be super random. I spoke to one of the prof's at my department and he decided between two applicants by flipping a coin (I KID YOU NOT). 

Try to distract yourself and do different things. I'm trying to learn a new language, work on some research projects I still have going, take the day off to use my camera, meet friends, trying to get better at yoga, etc. 

Psygeek - I LOVE this! So spot on. I'm actually learning how to sew as of last week =P. I've heard so many random admissions stories, too! But never flipping a coin! lol!!! One of my mentors had a professor back in her day who rejected an applicant for simply "looking too pretty". Apparently there was no place for that back in the early 1980's haha! I think times have changed... but honestly, you just have no idea. I've people say to keep my wedding ring on and lie during interviews, others say that is antiquated and to just be myself (to which I agree). The details and preferences you could ruminate about are endless. So I agree... distract yourself, be authentic, and hope for the best.

[quinessloopypun]

22 hours ago, kristincas said:

This is my second application round, and I don't feel as hopeless as I did back during my first application round in 2014. I feel like I have options if this doesn't pan out. My application is much stronger this year, and I've amassed some great research experience. Still, on a pessimistic day, it seems like nothing will beat out the competition and I'll waste so much energy on anxiety for nothing. What keeps you going during the waiting game? What do you think about instead of comparing yourself to others or scrutinizing your CV? 

Exactly how my days are passing by. I applied last year with a half-baked file and shut out. However, I am feeling much more confident this year (I have been offered and received a letter of recommendation from one of the professors from my top choice of school; ditto for my writing sample etc.).

Still, it is impossible to beat back the feeling of desperation through the day. Most days I cannot even tell whether I have psychological problems or what I am feeling is just a byproduct of the application phase. Even though I have made a thorough and well-thought list of schools to apply to and spared the money to be spent on applications, I doubt myself harshly; whether I am wasting my money, since I have no shot whatsoever among the overly qualified.

Enough with the dismal description. What keeps me through these feelings is the fact that I am doing ALL I can. Distinguishing what's under my control from what's beyond and internalizing this state of mind is crucial to overcoming these destructive seizures. The only thing that should get you down is the fact that you may have slacked off. If you did all you could during the preparation period, then at the end of the day you should lay your weary head to your pillow at ease. That's the only thing that keeps me going these days.

[PokePsych]

The more I read about the application process - the more I am convinced there are too many qualified applicants and decisions are made pretty randomly from time to time (with a few exceptions there)

[bakedmanapua]

@Psygeek OMG! Your post made me feel so much better! I have 7 more applications to go this round but I'm already having those bum waiting days. I'm so bad at waiting  @quinessloopypun I am in the SAME boat, emotionally. Solidarity!