dat_nerd

interviewing tips, from dogs:
 

don't be too formal.
 

don't be too casual, either, and definitely get lots of rest the night before.
 

talk yourself up, but don't try to be someone you're not.
 

don't forget: strong, engaging, open body language is important!
 

a little personal touch to the old "skirt and blouse"/"blazer and tie" look never hurts, but don't get too crazy.
 

no matter what you decide to wear, a smile is the most important accessory!

glad i could bring some happiness to you guys! as a little instant karma, i just received an acceptance from my top choice program, so i'm taking this as scientific proof that the calming manatee works. 

Lived in Seattle for two, Helsinki (Finland) for one, Sunny State one, and rest, a tropical Asian country. Seattle has the worst weather, it's just endless drizzles and rain, I didn't even want to go out or anything. Transportation sucked according to my standards (compared to NYC, Helsinki, and said tropical Asian capitol), city is just bland, not a great place for foodies even though they claim to have great variety of food (yep, I said it), and generally a hipster town that claims to be really diverse but really doesn't, most importantly, I didn't have much friends from Seattle who weren't transplants (Canucks, out-of-state people, international students, etc). Seattle really has this breeze that is impenetrable, they kind of just let you do your stuff and carry on with the divide. Some say it's because the culture is a blend of Japanese and Scandinavianness, I would agree but Seattle seems to take it up a notch with the pretentiousness. UW campus is really beautiful, though.

I also started college early, and didn't mention it in my SOP, but one of my LORs actually mentioned my unusually young age. I made sure that my profs comment on my "maturity" in the LORs, and my age wasn't the focus at all, but I have definitely been discriminated against for my age more than once. I am from a country where finishing HS early is a lot more unusual than in the US though, and you have to put your birthdate on your CV, so everyone will see it. Many people, however, just skim the CV and don't quite catch it consciously (or they think I put it down wrong...).
 
Now, being in grad school, I did what I did in my undergrad. When people asked me, I was forthright about my age (i.e. didn't lie), but I also don't talk about it by myself. Seems to be working pretty well, because by the time it comes up, they already have an image of me that won't be drastically revised just because I am younger. However, there is the occasional joke at my expense because of my age, but usually not in a mean way!

since we're up to our necks in the waiting process now, we've had a lot of negative vibes on this board lately, so i wanted to share one of my favorite things ever: the calming manatee. 
 

 
calming manatee loves you unconditionally. it wants to make sure you're nourishing your body, as well as your mind and soul. 
 

 
calming manatee agrees: it's totally jerky of adcomms to make you wait so long, after you put so much work into your applications. 
 

 
still, calming manatee is just as realistic as you are, and understands that sometimes a tasty beverage is the best solution.
 
 
in general, this is now a thread full of soothing and smile-inducing things from around the interwebs. waiting and decision-making are really stressful, so i think we all owe it to ourselves to create a little refuge of good vibes to temporarily distract us all from the swirling vortex of dismay, worry, and apprehension. 
 
enjoy, friends 

Oh goodness thank you. Yes, my previous post was quite negative. We all have our moments. Ahh but a new morning does a lot when I have realized that life never goes the way we "want." I am a little frustrated with 4 consecutive rejects via email. Seriously, what an odd phenomenon (or maybe not). Either way now that it's a new morning, I have slept and dealt with realty...'tis ok. 
 
Sometimes we get in...sometimes we don't. I'm just glad I applied to various programs so now re-focusing on achieving a well funded masters program.
 
At times we fall, but the point is getting up...not dwelling on why....so here I am, slapping the dirt of me and facing the embarrassment. Life goes on (thank goodness).....eh bitterness never lasts in my heart (there are better things to waste energy on).

I agree with margarets. Just because this guy/girl is pissed off and verbally erratic here, on an internet forum, due to a seriously demoralizing rejection streak, doesn't mean we should make assumptions about his/her professional performance or character. If OP was rejected from 4 places back-to-back, having outstanding credentials and no clear-cut reason as to why (s)he was rejected, of course OP is going to feel confused, scorned, upset, humiliated. And of course his/her words will reflect that. This is a place to vent, for Christ's sake; if we aren't empathetic to each other here, then where?
 
ApexKnowledge-- I wish I had some magic words to make this all okay for you. Assuming you really do have the high GPA and research credentials you mentioned, it boggles my brain that you'd receive so many rejections. For what it's worth, I don't think you're displaying a sense of entitlement, as "entitlement" indicates you expect something you did not work for. But you worked for this. Hard. So I think your frustration and anger is warranted.
 
I know this will seem impossible, but try not to take it personally. These rejections, hard as it may seem, do not necessarily reflect on you. They may just reflect on the competitiveness of the programs you applied to. For instance, my uncle had his Master's degree, with a 3.9 GPA, stellar GRE scores, and 6 years of highly relevant research experience in his field. 2 of those years he spent working directly with the Head of MIT's department. Yes, MIT-- one of the best schools in the world. And he still got rejected from 4 out of the 5 PhD programs he applied to. He was overly qualified, in most peoples' opinions, but was dealt the same harsh blow as you. But it was only because the PhD programs he applied to were SUPER competitive. They accepted fewer than 15 students per year, and for every 1 open spot, received nearly 50 applications.
 
So he was a big fish in most ponds, so to speak, but a smaller-than-average fish in the ENORMOUS pond of PhD applicants. It's all relative. Similarly, you seem to have incredible credentials and I hope that you-- as well as your father-- are extremely proud of them. You've already come such a long way and have done a lot more than most people. Take pride in that, and never underestimate it. Just keep in mind that, when it comes to many PhD programs, you are up against the best in the world. That's a tall order, for anybody.
 
I agree with whoever posted previously that you should start thinking about Plan B, just for your own mental stability's sake. Maybe you'll get taken off that wait-list and all will be well. But having back-up plans in place is extremely important under any circumstances, not just grad school. Personally, while I wait for all my acceptances/rejections to come in, I am applying to as many jobs as I can and laying the groundwork for re-applying next year, if it comes to that. I'm writing up a personal financial plan for the coming 12 months, to make sure I have the money to retake the GRE and get higher scores; I'm sending thank-you cards to all those who wrote recommendations for me, and in those cards, asking them to keep their letters in case I apply again in the future. Basically, I am preparing myself and my life to sustain another 12 months until I can try again, just in case. You should definitely do the same. Come up with a 12 month plan for yourself.
 
And part of this plan should include things to look forward to. As you've experienced, this process can be extremely demoralizing. It takes so much out of us. So put something on your calendar that makes you smile, even if it's something relatively small. For example, I am planning a mini roadtrip with my friend. It won't be for another few months, and it will only last 4 days because we can't afford anything longer than that. But those 4 days will be bliss, and they'll allow us to escape for a while and recharge from all this grad school-related stress.
 
Do the same for yourself. You're worth that, and you'll probably need it. If you can't afford even 4 days away, plan for a friend to just come over for a whole weekend and have a movie marathon, or go see a concert, or play laser tag or do something childish and fun that you wouldn't normally do. It'll help you, really. And in the meantime, remember that you aren't alone in these experiences, that many, many others with great qualifications are being rejected too. Please don't beat yourself up too much.
 
Very best of luck, friend.

Um... I think the OP was just having an online vent.  We shouldn't assume this is how the OP presented themselves at interview, or that the vent is indicative of deep psychological problems.  Four rejections in one day is enough to upset anyone.

Same here. I assume they still have acceptances still to send, but I'm a bit confused about how they're handling this...

The professors had a meeting about the applications and the decisions were made then. There's just no way that a grad coordinator even has the power alone to admit you without the blessing of at least one POI. Asking for advice on what they thought were the weaknesses in your application so you can do better next time is one thing, but asking for them to re-consider a decision they've already made.. is probably not professional. Good luck if you go ahead and do it anyway

you're going to regret it in the morning

I figured since I have flights to different cities across the US (an adventure on its own) and I'd eventually need a hand in making the decision of where to go, that I'd track my journey and thought processes in a blog. Anyone else? I'd love to read about how others are going about this, give us a link.
 
I'm horrid when it comes to making absolute decisions, there will be drama:
http://gradinterviewadventures.wordpress.com/

If this is your second choice school, then I imagine you were interested in attending to have applied in the first place. By visiting, you are at least confirming that you'll make the right decision when eventually choosing a school, as well as making connections that may help you in the future as a grad student. I would certainly make the visit. As far as showing enthusiasm goes, just remember what it was about the program that caused you to apply in the first place, and try to express your enthusiasm about that aspect.

1. Advisor: Sane? Insane? Nice? Not so nice? Someone I can conceivably work with? Open to ideas? A good mentor, both academically and "politically"? Well-connected and liked by the field? Invested in grad students getting good placements? I am willing to compromise on research interests if the advisor is some combination of these things. I would rather work with someone who won't drive me crazy than with someone who shares my interests and does drive me crazy.

2. Funding, up to a certain extent. If all offers are within the same ballpark, then discount this point. (Of course, must factor in cost-of-living into the funding calculation.)

3. Research fit.

4. Resources, both in # of full-time and diverse faculty and # of projects available for students to work on. Also, stuff like libraries/archives and museums are important to me.

5. Tradition/prestige: Sorry to sound shallow, but it's at least a little bit important for placements. Also, schools who continuously place their grads in good positions are often dedicated to getting their grads good jobs, while those that do not may be less dedicated to developing their grads professionally so to speak.

7. Location.

8. Atmosphere. To be honest, so long as it is not overly competitive and toxic, I am not picky. (I am in a department that is known to be highly competitive and a little toxic, and I didn't even realize this until people described the department in this manner to me. It is clearly a function of "this is all I know, so I thought this was normal ..." but I think I may be able to swim in most environments. Which is not to say that a warmer and fuzzier department might not woo me, but it's not the most important thing. )

Ok this doesn't apply only to grad school but life in general. To make friends, you have to be available  -  not just by having spare time but actively engaging people and activities. The easiest thing you can do is to ask the people around you if they would like to go for a drink. Try saying something like "this has been a long day, I need a drink - wanna come?". I think that people may be more likely to go for booze but you can try coffee or lunch too. If they say no, don't be on them to schedule an appointment - just be like ok cool, see ya later. Do not be pushy and actually go get that drink, even if it is alone! Requiring more effort but perhaps more satisfying is to join a group of some sort. Since you are having little luck with your peers, you may be better off doing something non-school related like a class at the gym, or joining some kind of hobbyist group or sports team or like a hiking group or whatever. Volunteering is also a good way of meeting new people. In all of those situations you could easily ask people if they want to get food or a drink after the activity. If they ask you out, say yes more than you say no! Be cool not creepy. Do not ask vague questions like "so what do you do on saturday nights" rather say "hey do you want to come over for dinner on saturday night". It just takes meeting one or two people. By the way (assuming you are a guy) do not expect that the first girl you befriend is going to be your lover <---- this is very important. Don't even let your mind go there because you could sabotage your chance at having a persistent friend group.

I can't figure out the rest of the lyrics, but the chorus I had in mind: We are never, ever, ever getting a decision letter! ;p

i remember when i first applied, to grad school
thinkin' i'll be calm and fine, it's all cool
my app was processed for about a month
then you
said you 
needed time..
..what?
 
oooooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
i checked GC again last night 
oooooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
this time, i'm feeling like, i'm feeling like
 
we
are never, ever, ever
getting decision letters
weeeee
are never, ever, ever 
getting decision letters
we go talk to adcomms, talk to profs- won't talk to me
cause weeee 
are never, ever, ever
getting decision letters..

Received an email from MIT EECS two days ago saying that I will shortly be getting a notice from the EECS department at MIT, informing me that I have been admitted. The email also gives instructions for visit days sign up. Does this mean it is official? - I checked the online application page and it still hasn't been updated yet. I saw a couple (7?) posts about MIT EECS admissions - did you guys get anything official yet? Also, will MIT send out more admissions?
 
Thanks~ (Good luck to everyone who's still waiting it out!)

Nice job, Socks! I sang the whole thing, out loud, and it was beautiful and emotional lol. We need some GC Karaoke!

Here's the first chunk of lyrics from Taylor Swift's We Are Never Getting Back Together:

I remember filling out apps, the first time.
Saying, "This is it, I've had enough," 'cause like,
I submitted early by a month
When you said it's incomplete. (What?)

My friends and I have long had the odd hobby of taking popular songs and changing their lyrics so they are applicable to whatever we are doing right now. I thought you all might appreciate my current attempt, and if you have 20 minutes, you should contribute your own.
 
 
To the tune of  "So This Is Christmas" by John Lennon:
 
And so this is waiting?
And what have I done?
Another day over
And a new one just begun
 
And so this is waiting
Its not any fun
My inbox still empty
My phone hasn't rung
 
I feel like I'm in limbo
I just want it to end
Just send my rejections
So I don't have to pretend
 
And so I'll be waiting
My heard filled with dread
Stalking result search
And the grad cafe threads
 
Its very scary waiting
I'm wringing my hands
Can't wait till its over
And I can make plans
 
Please accept me
I do want it
Please accept me
Nooooooow

Mid-teens here. We'll see if anyone notices... 

I had a recent conversation with someone about how apparently useless a computer science PhD was. Their argument was Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg didn't even finish undergrad and were able to be successful...I facepalmed and walked away,

Buahahaha THANKS, OBAMA. Anyone else seen that video?
 
I have this paranoid visual of someone accidentally dropping my application down an elevator shaft and then shrugging it off like "eh..."
 
Given that everything is electronic now, I don't know why this idea haunts me.

I would be embarrassed to attempt this. You should go to the interview, if only to network. You will probably encounter this professor or his graduate students at conferences and you will have already cleared the hurdle of introductions. Get used to traveling and meeting new people - it's  part of your new job description.

Go on the interview and make it a positive experience.  Things can turn out very differently from how we expect them to, and that 90%-sure school might waitlist you or even decide not to accept you.   If you don't go to the second appointment with a positive attitude, you may miss out on a good thing.  You might want to keep all your options open until you know (100% certain, in writing, etc) that you are accepted at your top school and can attend.  Good luck to you!