Pretty_Penny

Here's an update: -The professors I TA for were not ok with me not coming to their classes so I went down to the office to drop one of the classes I'm in so I can have a more manageable credit load. The lady who works in the office said I should make the head of the department aware that my advisor was not happy with my lack of time to work in the lab (even though she's the one who pushed me to take 14 credits). This lady reinforced that my advisor has a history of being difficult and unreasonable and that it's not me. She also said she would go with me to talk to the DGS if it came to that. -I thought things would be better since I dropped the class and had more time. I was wrong. I had to make a schedule of when to have my drafts submitted to my advisor and she made me redo it so many times that it only left me with a day to actually prepare a draft to send to her. In the schedule I had just marked bare logistics (like "send draft", "receive feedback", etc.) She sent me a scathing email back with "well what are you going to be doing on the weekends?" Like (1) obviously I'm going to continue working on the drafts and (2) is it really her business? If I'm devoting my entire week to these drafts, shouldn't I have a little time to catch up on other coursework over the weekend? I haven't been able to do laundry or clean my apartment in 3 weeks and I haven't gone for a run in three days (which is something I generally do religiously). I responded with a polite email about how I will be working over the weekends and how I thought I had implied that in the schedule and everything seemed fine. -Then the next blowup. I sent her a draft on Friday per our schedule, with the plan to meet Monday and receive feedback. It was a very rough first draft so obviously I knew it wouldn't be very good, but she sent me comments back already Friday night to "keep me working over the weekend." I HAVE GIVEN HER NO REASON TO THINK I DON'T DO WORK OVER THE WEEKEND. So I emailed her back saying I would make changes and bring them to our meeting Monday, to which she responded last night saying "this needs to take priority" and that I needed to send her something before Monday. So now I have to drop everything and make changes and completely neglect my other coursework (some of which is for a class she teaches). I have a group project this afternoon which involves traveling all over the city to learn about different locations (dumb, but something we have to do), which I indicated to her in my email, but she doesn't seem to care. Am I being unreasonable here? I mean, is this normal behavior for an advisor? No one else seems to be having these sorts of problems. I am absolutely miserable working with her and seriously am considering quitting.

Thanks for the feedback. I am going to talk to the professors I TA for to see if I can skip out on sitting in on their classes everyday (I honestly have no real reason to be there). If they are opposed I am going to have to drop one of the courses (the only one I am really actually enjoying), even though the professor who generally teaches it is going to be on sabbatical next year and that's why my advisor wanted me to take it this year (so I don't have to wait till my third year). Unfortunately my other classes are core classes except for an elective taught by my advisor, and she won't let me drop that. I feel like everyone is ganging up on me. Today the senior grad student in the lab chastised me because I told her I had to be late to our lab meeting BECAUSE THEY SCHEDULED IT THE SAME TIME AS MY OFFICE HOURS. My office hours were set well in advance of them moving the lab meeting to Mondays, and I told the undergrad doing the scheduling I would have to be late if that's what they decided upon, but it worked for everyone else so I guess they just decided to go with that and of course I get in trouble for it. Literally nothing is going right.

I've always been able to handle stress pretty well, but the start of grad school has really thrown me through a loop. I had been working on an NSF application all summer (while still at home and working 40 hours a week in a local bakery), and my advisor labeled the first draft as "a really nice start" and then gave the second one back (ON THE FIRST DAY OF CLASSES MIND YOU) and said I might as well start over. It was really overwhelming and it took everything I had not to just burst into tears right there. She could tell I was upset but just kept telling me it's hard, but it will get better. For some more background, 12 credits is the absolute maximum you can take at my institution and they don't recommend that. Guess how many she has me enrolled in? 14. I'm also TAing 20 hours a week. I know they say coursework shouldn't matter as much in grad school, but with that and the NSF grant and lab work and trying to be social enough so that my cohort doesn't hate me I am barely keeping my head above water. Worse still is that two of my classes are taught by my advisor and I am so ridiculously intimidated by her now. She talked to me one day after class and I felt like I was going to cry then, as well, and basically I had to tell her I feel dumb and that I think I'm disappointing her. I thought I pulled it together last week (the second week of classes), but I got an email from her tonight expressing her disappointment that I haven't been communicating more with her and that I should have sent her a draft of my NSF proposal already. WE HAVE A DRAFT DUE TUESDAY SO I GUESS I DIDN'T SEE A POINT IN SENDING IT IN WHEN IT WASN'T COMPLETE YET? To appease her I said we should set up weekly meetings (why she never suggested this I'm not sure-most of the other advisors did with their students) and emailed the other grad student in the lab to set up a time to talk with her about everything. My advisor told me she wants this to be fun for me, but she is the reason it is currently not fun for me. I am scared to death of her and feel like I can't do anything right. I'm also terrified I won't get good enough grades to remain in good standing with the grad school. I doubt I'll ever be able to come up with any research ideas on my own, and I know for a fact I will never have as good of a relationship with my advisor as the fifth-year grad student in our lab does. I honestly feel like I should just give up now.

So I have been accepted into a PhD program for the fall, and have been communicating with my advisor by email about working on an NSF proposal. When I visited at the end of May she gave me an idea for a topic. I have communicated with her twice since then, the first time to clarify the idea she had suggested and the second time to present some thoughts I had on the topic. I am concerned because her response both times has been to tell me to read some papers, which I have done several times. I get the feeling she thinks I haven't, and that something about what I'm saying reflects that. My parents, on the other hand, think I'm being paranoid and that she probably just keeps forgetting she told me to read them and she hasn't even looked over what I sent her since she is technically out of town from now till early July. I don't know what to think but I do know I am majorly stressing about getting off to a bad start with this.

I would contact them by email. Talk to whoever you are interested in working with and set up a base with that person so they recognize your name come application time. If they ask to talk to you over the phone (sort of a pre-application deadline interview), then take that opportunity! However, I would not under any circumstances force them to meet you or show up to a recruitment weekend to which you weren't invited. There is no problem with visiting, but you can't expect professors to make time to meet with you if they haven't already communicated an interest in you.

Wisconsinite here. It's not that bad. As for driving, I've gone in the ditch twice in my life (both times when I was home in a rural area). The most important thing is just to drive slowly! Even people who live here sometimes forget how slippery it can get. Biscuits had a lot of great advice. It might also be good to keep a pair of snow boots in your car, just in case.

I feel exactly the same way! I mostly applied to schools near the state where I've always lived, but only got accepted to the two schools I applied to that are the farthest away. One is a top 5 program, and I would feel badly turning them both down, especially after all the hard work I (and my letter writers) put in. That being said, I'm suddenly being flooded with a ton of doubts... I won't be able to go home and see my family, I won't be able to keep up with all the work, I won't do well enough, There won't be any jobs for me when I graduate, etc. It's getting to be very overwhelming!

I recently got an email from someone at one of the schools I applied to asking to talk on the phone. Usually this would be exciting but... 1. I turned my app in in December. The deadline was Jan. 15th. They emailed me on Jan. 23rd saying they had my app and would let me know my status. I then didn't hear anything until late this week. I already have two good offers and probably wouldn't consider going there because this was one of my "back-up" schools. The professor noted in the email that they were very slow in getting back to me and she realizes I probably have other offers sooo there's that. 2. This professor who is interested in me is not my POI and the work she is doing does not sound very related to my interests. I'm getting very worn out by going through this whole process while still being in school, so is there any point in talking to her if I'm really not interested? I just don't want to burn any bridges.

I regret only applying to one professor at my undergrad institution, and not the one who would have taken me in a heartbeat (if only I had known!) I know the whole "stay away from doing your undergrad and grad studies at the same university" thing, but my biggest hesitation about grad school is moving so far away from my family, and being accepted here would have made things so much easier...

I put my parents' address as my permanent address. They haven't received anything from any of the schools I've applied to.

Thanks VAN144! I did actually take the top choice part out and got a really nice response back. Saying you're excited is enough!

That's kind of what I thought. It's just hard to balance; they are my top choice, but I want to at least have time to read the contract and talk to my family. Thanks for the suggestion! I reworded that sentence.

Thanks for your replies! There is a small chance I might accept one of the other offers, but it is not likely. I just thought I would have a little more time to talk about this with my family before accepting. I've decided to give it at least a week, since I just received the formal offer. I still have to email my POI back though. How does this sound? "Dear ___, Yes, I received the formal offer, and hope to read through the details more thoroughly in the coming days. I would like to reaffirm my interest in the ___ program and assure you that it is my top choice. As of now, I do not believe I have any further questions, but I will not hesitate to contact you if any come up. I will be sure to notify you of my decision as soon as it is finalized. Thanks so much! All the best, ____" Does it make sense to say they are my top choice but not to accept right away? I want to convey my interest, but as I said I am not ready to give them my final word.

Today I met with my undergrad advisor and we both agreed that the offer I have on the table is probably the best offer I am going to get. She encouraged me to just go ahead and accept it. I know that I probably will end up accepting it, but I had planned on waiting until I heard back from the 3 schools I'm still waiting on, or at least the one I just interviewed with this past weekend... I know that I am not required to respond by April 15th (and I definitely don't plan on waiting until then), but is it necessary to accept immediately? I just received the official offer with funding info today! She is friends with the POIs I would be working with, and she made it seem like it would be rude and unfavorable for me to not accept immediately. What do you guys think?

Graduating at 21 in May with two BAs. If I accept the offer I currently have I will be 27 when I finish my PhD. As for real life experience, I worked a full-time job every summer since I was 14, including one where my shift started at 4 AM so I had to consistently be up at 3 AM. Talk about not having a life.

I applied and was accepted to Penn State. While I am not sure if I will choose to go there, the Sandusky scandal would not factor into my decision. As someone who has spent the past four years at another B1G institution and is avidly devoted to college football and basketball, I can say that I honestly believe this is a problem with the sports culture at EVERY university, not just Penn State. Heck, people are deflating footballs at USC, and as much as the previous poster stated there were no classes made up for basketball players at UNC, previous employees have spoken out that there were. People are going to do what it takes to win because, unfortunately, sports are a huge draw for colleges these days. Did particular individuals at Penn State take it too far? Yes, but that doesn't mean every student or faculty member there should be implicated in the crime.

Hi, I interviewed with about 5 different grad students at my last interview. They asked about my research interests, my thesis, the basic stuff... Mainly they just want to answer questions about the program and the POIs, so come prepared with questions. Good luck!

I can't tell you about the specific program, but I've spent my entire life in Wisconsin, including four years at UW-Madison, and have had plenty of friends go to UW-Milwaukee. Some loved it and are going to be graduating this spring, some hated it and transferred, including my best friend since kindergarten. From what I've heard, the campus is nice, but the city of Milwaukee isn't for everyone (being from NYC you probably wouldn't have a problem with that). As for prestige, well, every school in the state is considered "inferior" to UW-Madison, which is the UW system's flagship school. But as DarwinAG said, that is just a matter of perception. I can't speak to the quality of the work that your POI is doing at UW-Milwaukee.

I am talking on the phone tomorrow with a POI who contacted me about admission to the program. She wants to answer any questions I may have. However, I spent about 9 hours interviewing with various faculty and grad students and feel like I have completely exhausted all my questions. I tried to search for this topic on other parts of the forums, but the responses say to find out about mentoring style, research, etc... which I have already done. Anyone have any ideas on different questions to ask after being accepted? (Note: I am still waiting on funding information)

Accepted: Penn State Rejected: Northwestern, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

Accepted to Penn State's Developmental Psychology Ph.D. program... First acceptance!

School: Northwestern Program: Human Development and Social Policy Rationalization: Program not the best fit. I mostly applied to Developmental Psychology Ph.D. programs. Here I applied to work with a developmental psychologist in Human Development and Social Policy. Word: Meh. I hate having less options, especially as I haven't gotten any acceptances yet, but it was expected.

Alright that is super helpful! Thanks for letting me know!!

I'm sorry to hear that! Though it is good to know I'm not alone!! Hopefully we will have some news soon. And @xdarthveganx I have thought about the possibility of a waitlist... Do they have to inform you if you are put on a waitlist?

So I will admit I have an addiction to the results search. For one of my programs it seems some people were accepted by phone with official letters to come on Jan. 24th. For others, they were rejected in a mass email on the 30th. Where does this leave me? I still haven't heard anything back and I had emailed the student affairs office on Wed. and they told me acceptances/rejections were going out in the next couple of days and I should know by the end of the week. In my mind, the week is over! Has anyone else been in this situation? How did it turn out? Any thoughts?