Fayre

I joined this forum just to share some news. I just e-mailed SSHRC and this was the response I received:
The results of the Doctoral competition were mailed out yesterday afternoon.
Per Canada Post standards, you should receive this letter within 10 business days. They will also be posted electronically later on this week.   Wooo hoooo!!! Good luck to everyone. This wait has been agony and the next few days are going to be even harder. I have been lurking for awhile and it has been nice to know I am not the only one who has been obsessing!

Great questions.
 
I have a prof. who is fond of saying that if there is anything, literally ANYTHING, that you could imagine yourself doing outside of academia, do it. It's just that bad. You will have people who tell you things like this. I've had multiple people tell me I should get a Master's in Library Science instead, or a doctorate in Education. Because it's close enough, right? And the job market is quite a bit better, especially for an Ed.D. But the truth is, I think it is important to be realistic about the state of the job market while remaining realistic about all of the other options out there. In other words, I realize that finding a job might be easier, but I would not be as happy as a librarian or as an administrator as I would a professor/researcher. Period. I have worked in a couple different fields in my life and I am only now realizing the importance of aiming high. Yes, I could make a lot of things work, but I'm not just seeking a paycheck. I'm looking for a certain quality of life. (To which, people often say, teaching will not afford me. To which, I say, I guess you have never worked retail. Or management. Or food service.) It's not about chasing your dreams at any cost (in which case I would have sunk all my money in an MFA with the hope of becoming a famous writer) but rather chasing the career that affords you the lifestyle you're best suited to. I'm not talking about money, obviously. But I see my professors who are constantly thinking and learning in their day-to-day lives--constantly enriching themselves while preparing for the work day--and changing the lives of young people who are excited about literature, and then spend their summers traveling, planning classes, and writing, and I want to do that. I want to live a life of learning.
 
I realize that I may have trouble actually getting to that place, and I do have other options. But, for the next five years or six years at least, I have a job that involves learning languages, reading texts, teaching literature, and discussing my ideas. It doesn't pay well and it is finite, but I have very, very rarely heard someone say that they regretted getting a doctorate. Actually, I can't think of anyone. Even if they are not teaching, people with PhDs often say that those were the most difficult, fulfilling years of their life. You learn a lot about yourself by writing a dissertation, and that's no small thing.
 
It seems that people who regret this decision--and they usually end up dropping out--are people often ill prepared for the realities of academic life. It's really goddamned hard. But not in the way getting a 4.0 in undergrad is hard. It's hard because in order to make it worthwhile you have to be really self-motivated and love (really, really love, like almost pathologically) writing and reading. In my experience as a Master's student, you have to be a little crazy. Sometimes you have to like dead authors more than your live friends. And you have to be unable to sleep because that one sentence is just a little off. You have to wake up in the morning excited to get back to that paper you're writing. Otherwise, it's just not going to work. There is only one other person going on to a PhD at my university, I think, because people lose the fire. Or they get burnt out. I had a couple friends decide not to apply to PhD programs after beginning the thesis. They just couldn't imagine doing this for another five years. Me, I feel like I only scratched the surface with my thesis and I am eager to continue. I also had a friend drop out of a PhD program because he didn't want to teach. I get that. If you know you don't want to teach, your options are really limited. That's not to say it's not worth doing the PhD, but it helps that teaching is, for me, a really big draw.
 
I think the Master's is a good test for whether or not you want to devote your life to this somewhat insane endeavor. I decided that I wanted to pursue the PhD after I wrote my first seminar paper. It was the most satisfying, fulfilling experience I never knew a person could love. And then when I taught Freshman comp the next year it really sealed the deal. I really felt at home. I am good at a lot of things, but I think I have the proper temperament to be a good researcher and teacher. AND I'm good at it. We don't always love all the things we're good at.
 
Anyway, that's my story.
I'm really interested to see what other people have to say here.

I don't think that's anyone's intention. It's not about you. Overall, we're comparing ourselves now to our younger selves, who most certainly did not know as much about life. And obviously we weren't as sure about our life goals because we're at this point now. If you've got it at worked out, and plenty of twenty-somethings do, good for you. The assumption that we're trying to counter is that there's no upside to taking time away from school. That's not to say that those who go a traditional route are less capable. Again, it's not about you.

I wonder if you could email the DGS and ask for a waiver on the subject test requirement, since you can't get it in your country? I don't think they would want to disqualify you just on the basis of that, since it's not your fault you can't take it.

I wonder if you could email the DGS and ask for a waiver on the subject test requirement, since you can't get it in your country? I don't think they would want to disqualify you just on the basis of that, since it's not your fault you can't take it.

To add a few pragmatic notes to this discussion:
 
1. Have you considered ADD? I have a friend who struggled endlessly with his B.A. thesis--felt unfocused and unable to concentrate, unhappy with the results--and then he got on Ritalin and banged out the whole thing in a month.
 
2. Beyond the biochemical (and cue discussions on the mind/body problematic) I think that many intelligent people struggle a lot with intellectual production. Yes, you're a senior, but in addition to this being your last year you're also being asked to produce a project--your thesis--which will in some way be the definitive résumé of your years in academia and a statement of your thinking and your work. That can be horrible. There is a gap between what you want to achieve and what you're actually capable of achieving. (Creative writers struggle with this--their grand vision of a novel reduced to a few scraps of paper--but academics do as well.) To some extent, that limitation is inherent to the form: one can simply never write as much or as exhaustively as one would want, the scope's inevitably reduced, etc. Also, for ambitious intellectual types--and I sincerely hope you are one--there's a gap between what you want to "know"--and to be able to talk about authoritatively--and the actual amount of knowledge you've been able to absorb in a mere four years. 
 
Should this last thing be a source of concern? It depends. On one hand, the struggle will never go away: the formal limitations are, as I said, inherent, and there will *always* be more things you wish you'd read, or re-read, or had understood more fully. In that sense, anxiety about production and perfection and intellectual competence is a lifelong problem. On the other hand, you really *will* have read more things 5+ years from now than is currently the case, you *will* be a more competent scholar, etc. If this kind of anxiety is the source of your problem, the question is not how to get rid of it but how to work with it productively. I think it helps to view papers and thesis projects not as some ultimate summation of your work and thought, but rather as explorative and speculative and even tentative projects--a reflection of where you are right now, thinking through things in process, rather than as a final end-point. In other words, the secret to academia seems to me to be an acceptance of imperfection.
 
Edit: For what it's worth: that same friend, before he got on Ritalin, was incapable of starting on a chapter and kept continually re-writing the first page. He was struggling to express his thoughts and felt like he would never be able to get them out. So I sent him an e-mail and asked what his chapter was about. The result? He e-mailed me back with a flawless explanation that ran to 10 pages.
 
The question being: was his problem ADD or just the crippling effect of the blank page, which he escaped when writing to me, informally, in an e-mail? F*ck if I know. (That gets at mind/body and mind/brain dynamics, which isn't my field.) Tentatively, I'd guess both. Also, while this whole "I have a friend" thing smells suspicious, I really am speaking about someone else... though I've also struggled with all these things.

Why is there so much negativity here? So many posters here are excited to start the next step of their journies -- all knowing that, of course, tenure is hard to come by. No one who has gotten into a PhD program can be a TOTAL fool, right? So why this need to make others feel insecure, uncomfortable and ashamed of their hopes? This is a joyful time for everyone who has been accepted, and a time for picking one's self up off the floor for those who have not. What happiness is there in making other people feel like shit about their future goals? Enough of this "people need to be more realistic" crap as q defense of pure meanness. We all know its a tough market. Why aren't we at least supporting one another at this point?

Congrats to everyone who has made their final decision!!! I am not there yet, but I can't wait for that moment to come! This is really an incredible process. We have gone through so much in the last few months. I am so proud to see everyone's successes on here!

GUYS GUYS GUYS.
 
Indiana finally rejected me yesterday, so... This means I am definitely going to accept UNC's offer! 
 
Decision made--I can't believe it. I pretty much knew this was coming, but there's something so dramatic (to me, at least) about knowing for SURE.
 
 
Eeee!

I think a fair number of people leave town for the summer and take jobs wherever they happen to live. Some people are able to find miscellaneous funding on campus; with a campus this size, there's always jobs to be done. That's more during the semester, but some in the summer as well. (There was a GA available, cataloging and archiving Neil Armstrong's papers... I was tempted.) I think the reading tutoring I talked about is through the Institute of Reading Development.
 
The biggest thing with housing, to my mind, is being able to take a little time and find just what you want. There are some real gems, but you have to sort through a lot of worse places to find them. With 40,000 students and a generally itinerant population, there's lots of incentive for landlords to buy old properties and rent them out without really keeping them up. However, there's also a lot of cool old buildings with a lot of character that you can rent out for cheap. Generally speaking, grad students tend to live over the bridge in Lafayette, undergrads in West Lafayette right near campus. There are exceptions, of course, and I'm not really sure about other departments, but that's how it generally goes. There are two major roadways between the cities, and a lovely pedestrian bridge between them, so it's easy to get between the two towns. People mostly want to avoid living too close to campus if only because it's so undergrad-y; Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night are what you'd expect from all of the undergrad houseshares and the insane number of fraternities. Same thing with the bars: Lafayette's bars are more grownup, West Lafayette's tend toward the undergrad meatmarket type. That's not to say that I'd never live in West Lafayette. There are some great ethnic restaurants and access that close to campus is obviously a plus. One thing you'll find about Lafayette: neighborhoods are very inconsistent. You'll be in a part of town that seems really junky and not the type of place you might want to live, and then you'll go another block and it'll be lovely. You really have to explore and get a sense of what's out there.
 
For context, my own apartment (which I love) is a huge two bedroom, the top floor of a big house, which has a dishwasher, on-floor washer and dryer, a porch, backyard, and off-street parking, two blocks from downtown Lafayette and 30 minutes walk to campus. I pay $750 a month.
 
It's important to say, though, that a lot of people consider Lafayette a drag. It's definitely in the minus column. I do think that some people don't have the context to know what a really small town is like, and it could be a lot worse. I like the bars and restaurants, and there's the farmers market, an independent bookstore, some galleries and shops, and a seemingly unsustainable number of yoga studios. But it's quiet, and small, and you won't meet a lot of people out and about. I've said this before on this board, but I have definitely found Lafayette to be a bigger problem since I became single. Indianapolis is an hour away and Chicago two, and I know some people who head out of town every other weekend or so. I find Lafayette totally doable, but many people report it as a constant frustration.
 
I have actually been living car-free since October. The bus system is very serviceable, particularly for Purdue students, as the school heavily subsidizes the system and uses it as our campus transportation system. (Which is a necessity; if I walked from my office to the tennis courts, it would easily take me over an hour.) It's a bit of a pain to get to the supermarket, and you can expect buses to run 5-10 minutes late, but for a town of this size, it's an impressive system.
 
On your visit, I would take care to check out both West Lafayette and Lafayette in general. Also, try to get a sense of how much you like the campus. I will say: the campus has its own charms, and it's grown on me. But it will never be mistaken for beautiful. If you go to visit that den of sin and avarice, Indiana University's campus in Bloomington, you'll see a gorgeous campus. Purdue's is... functional. The campus mirrors Purdue as a whole: it's a huge, efficient, somewhat impersonal machine for research and education. The departments are modular and distinct, without a lot of crossover for grad students or faculty. Just about everything is brick. The size and monotony can feel alienating. Some of the buildings, such as the student union, are lovely, but almost nowhere is cozy. Make sure you check out the library, which is one of my biggest complaints. Not in terms of resources; the library resources, as with the school's resources in general, are incredible. But they're done the way Purdue does everything: separated and efficient. I think we now have 14 libraries, down from a one-time high of (I think) 24. Each is devoted to separate specialties, with engineering of course having the most. They work fine. But they aren't the kind of places you want to find a cozy corner in and curl up, and there's no major library hub on campus. It can be a bit of a drag.
 
That said... I absolutely love it here. Love it. I have found the faculty and staff to be incredibly engaged and approachable, from the grad director to the professors in my own department to the director of the writing lab to the administrative assistants in the office. The range of classes available, for someone of my interests, is incredible. We have a bunch of great resources like an indigenous and endangered languages lab, a second language acquisition lab, access to Purdue's incredible technological resources, lots of cool events.... I saw the Joffrey Ballet perform the Rite of Spring on campus a couple weekends ago, and if you're into college sports, the Big 10 is pretty crazy (even though our teams aren't good). Moreover, I just find it inspiring to be around so much research and crazy stuff going on. There's a functioning nuclear reactor in the basement of the Electrical Engineering building; awhile back, I was sitting in the union reading to see some undergrads drive a solar car around the corner. Academic stuff, college stuff, I love it.
 
Definitely ask about the numbers when you're here-- ask about job placement rate, time to graduate, percentage of people who complete prelims who end up finishing their dissertation, etc. Chat with TCS people, who will know a lot more than I do about what that program is really like. And more than anything, try to get a sense of the culture and whether you feel like you'd fit in.
 
Oh, and don't walk under the bell tower.

I tell my kids, now 20 & 18, at this point in your lives your successes and failures belong to you because they are your choices to make. Also we tend to learn by doing not others talking at us.

I and others have lived, some still living, with the crippling aftermath of student loan debt. Those in my age bracket still living with it never left academia. They are bitter that they have been unable to build resources now that they are looking at sending their children to college and quickly approaching retirement. I promised my children that they would have no debt from their bachelor degrees but they are on their own after that. I am modelling for them that grad school needs to be funded and make sense for their chosen career, careers based on legitmate interests and talents.

Paying for Harvard law makes sense if you will be a corporate attorney. Columbia does not if you are going to be a public school teacher or do not for profit advocacy work. State schools have fabulous resources. A bad fit is something you'll live with for a long and unpleasant time. There are a lot of factors to consider. You will live with the consequences for a very long time if you don't think about it, and choose wisely.

That's so cool though!!!
 
And congratulations!!!
 
I woke up this morning and said it was going to be a good day. I even posted of fb that I was only putting positive energy into the universe so that positive energy will come back to me. 
 
Today I got a rejection notice, called a school to inquire about my status and was told if I hadn't heard anything by now it didn't look good. I spilled coffee all over my desk, my phone died while it was timing an experiment.
 
And then to finish it off my pants ripped while I was bending over. Instead of crying this through me into a fit of laughter to which I say, universe you did not win! I have chosen to believe good things are coming, even if its not going to graduate school this fall. 

Hm, no Harvard rejection in my mailbox yet. As much as I appreciate their taking the expense to reject us in hard copy, the postal service makes this process that much less certain...the Harvard massacre is going to have to be a slow-motion one I guess. More Siege of Leningrad than Battle of the Somme.

For Direct Applicants, I received this from SSHRC after emailing them: 
 
 
Good afternoon,
 
The results letters will be mailed probably on Friday March 8, 2013.

Another offer of admission, this time at UWashington. Wow! I really don't deserve this good fortune.

Just found out I'm in at Temple, which has been a top choice from the beginning! Anyone else here get that news today? Congratulations to everyone on all their recent acceptances!

Someone above compared this to a marathon. I'd say it's kind of like that, but right before the finish line all the spectators tackle you and kick you a lot.

Hi all, this is my first time posting here, although I've been reading for a while. Mostly I just want to say thank you to everyone on this thread who has unknowlingly helped keep me afloat during what has been (or had been, until this morning) an utterly dismal application season. This is my first year applying to English PhDs, but not my first year applying to grad programs (I applied to MFAs during my last year as an undergrad, three years ago, and was rejected across the board), and after being rejected from four of my nine programs over the past few weeks I was fairly certain this year was going to go the same way. (There were plenty of tears, anxiety, feeling like an idiot for even thinking anyone would ever want me to attend their program, let alone thinking I could be a legitimate "scholar" someday...etc.)

And then this morning I received notification that I am WAITLISTED AT MINNESOTA!!! I am absolutely thrilled right now, esp. given that I had already written them off as sure a rejection because I hadn't heard anything and other people had. It's just amazing how crazy this whole thing is--yesterday I spent the day crying/moping about receiving official rejections from Emory and Stanfors...and now this! I know it's not an acceptance--I need to keep reminding myself of this--but regardless, it's so unbelievably nice to know that someone actually liked my application. Amazing.

Anyway, I feel a little odd writing for the first time only after getting good news, I don't want to sound like I'm gloating. It's just been great seeing all of the reactions on this thread, from tears to acceptance freakouts, and getting to "know" some of the regular posters, and I just wanted to give a shout out to everyone who's decided to put themselves through this highly stressful and demoralizing process. To people on the "outside," it must look like there is something seriously wrong with us.

I have a colleague who has 'bout a decade on you. She has presented at top conferences as a MA student, and just scored an interview at a top (and well funded) program. She is also very involved mother and grandmother who raised her kids alone as a teenager and now has a MA and MS. AND, she's worked other jobs her whole career as a full-time grad student.  I think that age, in a way, can at times be an indicator to the program of question that they are dealing with a serious and competent student. That said, I don't mean to negate your concerns; she is still super-angsty about age too. No Admin com in their right minds will question a student's ability if that student has persevered so seriously in the "real world." I don't want or mean to sound preachy, I just wanted to affirm your angst and provide a tangible anecdote... 
 
Edit: underscoring how impressive this lady is. Family doesn't get in the way of her work. She takes her grandson to school, TAs, helps her kids out, has a wonderful husband, presents at conferences, never uses her age/family as an excuse etc... 
 
Edit #2: I also feel obligated to underscore, to prospective students, how contingent the process is. Last week I was sure that I would need a "round 2" after many rejections. Then came an acceptance from a great program with no funding, and a few days later an extremely well funded offer. I also come from a seriously non-trad background vis-a-vis the demographics of academia. I was an athlete by trade, and before that I was in Juvee for some years. I'm a published author now at a funded PhD program :-). My advise: so long as your SOP and writing sample are solid as affirmed by a diverse group of critics (Friends, colleagues, advisors, etc) and your GRE isn't terrible (mine was 157 157 4.5; not good, not terrible, surprisingly good at math), the rest is contingent. I am 99% that one of my letter writers had some terrible things to say, and my strongest advocate showed me his whole paragraph of critique in the letter he wrote (because he is cool like that, and wanted to be honest about it). I don't think i'm actually a bratty student, but I entered my program weeks after losing a parent--I should have taken time off. ANYWAY, all of this to say that I am not a 'winner' on the other side; rather, I was good enough like most applicants and the stars happened to be aligned. It is easy to go mad thinking of what else one can do, when ultimately the deciding factors tend to be ineffable in nature...

BIG HUGS. I'm so sorry to hear that it's been a crappy week so far. Don't ever apologize for being a supposed downer--especially on the "0% confidence" thread. This is an excruciatingly stressful experience, and you're allowed to have feelings! And to express them! I hope that things start looking up soon. Your prospects are not all gone yet. And although commuting wouldn't be ideal, it IS doable. People do it all the time... I knew a couple that got married after their MAs and one did a PhD at UChicago while the other stayed in a different program at Berkeley or something. They're still together, so, yay for long-distance/commuter romances?
 
And yo, dude, you already have a lot to be proud of! An MA! A good CV! A prospective publication! Lots of people who believe in you! Awesome taste in movies (re: the quote in your signature)! Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You lived another year! 
 
 
 
(...Am I helping or being annoying? Sorry.  )

Haha, we really did have similar experiences! I had to take the Subject test in my hometown because the Chicago test was full by the time I was able to register (which wasn't that late, I thought, but oh well). And yep, I took the General on a Friday night, coming straight from work. What a day that was. It worked out OK, though! My Christmas presents were all purchased after 12/15ish. I was in a weird position--I have a very strained/distant relationship with my parents, and I didn't feel comfortable telling them that I'm applying to grad school, but I also feel pressure to give nice gifts to my family because anything less convinces them that I'm "struggling" without them. Oy. I do feel worried about spending so, so much and having nothing to show for it. But I've discussed this with friends and I always come to the conclusion that I'd rather try and fall flat on my face than not try and allllways be wondering what might've happened. I won't regret applying. But damn, my savings are pathetic.
 
Wonderful cheering words! I know you were talking to girlwhowearsglasses, but it helped brighten things up for me, too.

CONGRATULATIONS, Two Espressos!       
 
I can 100% relate to your joy, because I got waitlisted too! I am beyond shocked. Apparently the email was sent last night, but I didn't see it until this morning--I practically spit corn flakes all over my laptop. This is the first bit of positive news I've gotten, and it couldn't have come at a better time. I had basically given up hope. After beating myself up so much, it's surreal to think that someone might actually want me.
 
Gaaaah I know I'm going to sound like a damn fool when I write to her. I mentioned her by name in my SOP because I would be super thrilled to work with her. Do you think you're gonna go to the Open House? I really wish I could, but it's looking like plane tickets will be at least $300, which I could swing if I REALLYREALLY want to, but it wouldn't be easy. But if it's the only bite I get (which is very possible), I'm sure as hell gonna want to visit before committing to 5-7 years there! Gah.
It sounded to me like they do somehow organize the waitlist by subfield--my letter mentioned my specific interests a couple of times. Hmm!
 
Thank you for throwing out this advice, even though it wasn't intended for me! Haha. Would it be OK if I PM you too?
 
Guyzzz I'm freaking out. UNC was one of my tippity-top choices and I was so devastated when I didn't get an acceptance. I can't believe it's not over yet.

The same should be asked about Family Day in Canada...

Hello everyone.
 
I am an Iranian student of English literature. I want to apply to a PhD comparative literature program and I wanted to ask all of you what you think of my chances. I want to ask you some specific questions as well. But before that let me get to the main point: full funding is mandatory for me. I don't know if you have followed the Iranian news or not but let me tell you that in the previous two years the sanctions and incompetent trynaical regimes have worked together and now our currency is less valuable than toilet paper. I was always in a lower middle class category but now I'm deep under the poverty line. So, I will never afford paying tuitions ANYWHERE. Not only that, it will mean paying application fees and travel costs and things like that will also be a massive pain in the neck. Apart from that we need to pay a lot of money to the government to have access to our BA and MA certificates. GRE and TOEFL are going to be really expensive too. I will need to work for a year or two just to earn the money needed for application costs.
 
So let me give you a little information about myself.
 
Good things about me:
- My graduate school is one of the top 2 in Iran and it's internationally famous (and sanctioned, hehe).
- My graduate professors love me and I'm sure they will write me shining letters of recommendation. They are internationally respected too, I guess.
- I have only As and my GPA is 4.0 in graduate school.
- I don't have any publications yet, but I am sure I will have one or two papers published before my application time comes. (They're under review now).
- I have worked as an English teacher for 5 years now. But even better, I'm in negotiations with some schools and I'm positive I will have some academic teaching experience too before applying. I might also become a faculty member somewhere but that's a 50/50 chance.
 
Bad things about me:
- I have some Cs, Ds, and Fs in BA. All of them except one are the grades of stupid lessons unrelated to the English literature forced on us by the government - Islamic thought, family values, things like that - or teaching or translation lessons. My only F in literature is a lesson I didn't take the exam out of protest to the teacher. At that time I was reckless and stupid and didn't think ahead.
- I'm only fluent in two languages, English and Persian. I can also read Arabic but I can't write or speak or listen to it. I can take classes but I don't think I would be able to study so extensively to be able to be fluent in a third language before the time comes.
- I'm a bit controversial. I'm a radical atheist and I am against social institutions like family and marriage, I politically support WikiLeaks and things like that. I have extreme liberal views. So if someone searches my name they might some angry comments on the internet from me they might deem too radical and crazy. I can stand by the content of those comments and defend them but the tone was angry. Again, I was reckless and stupid.
- Grammar errors- ugh. No matter how many times I proofread and revise my writings I will still find errors in them the next time.
 
Now, my main interest is the comparative study between video games and literature. My MA thesis the comparison between Alice in Wonderland books and their video game adaptations. I am knoweldagble in both fields and I have been a freelance video game blogger for years. I think I can prove my competence in both areas.
 
I am also very competent in Persian and Islamic literature so I can go down that road too.
 
So this is my situation. Now I want to confess something: the main thing that I want is to get out of Iran. If I could use any other way I would, but I can't because literature and politics are the only things I know how to do. So getting accepted is the main thing I want. So these are my questions:
 
1) How do you assess my chances overall?
2) No matter how hard I google comparative literature, I find only the best universities. Can you suggest some universities which are lower in rankings? I will have more chances of acceptance and the application fee is lower and funding is guaranteed.
3) The country I want to go to is the USA. Are the universities in that country too good for me? I also love to go to Canada and any other English speaking country except Australia, or European countries (that I unfortunately don't speak the language of).
 
I know this was a very long post and thanks a lot for reading it.

just be glad that you don't have to wait for acceptance letters while also writing a master's thesis that is already late