spectastic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL8e2ujXe8g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL8e2ujXe8g

I know a dude with an IQ that got him into Mensa and the Triple Nine Society (or would have it he'd been more on the ball). He's a complete moron. He's the opposite of smart. He makes smart look like an achievement only rocks fail at.

I've got the same kind of numbers (inherited genes, go figure), but what difference does that make? Well, it's easier for me to read and understand a scholarly journal. And. Yeah, that's about it. I'm better at reasoning things out in a shorter period of time than the other 99%. Big. Fat. So what? Who cares? Last semester, I created an exam that was worth 5 points. It had three sections to complete. Section One was worth 1 point, section two worth 2 points, and section 3 worth 3 points.

I may be quantitatively smarter than most people. I am not, in any conceivable way, better to anyone else. I am better at being me, but that's about it. Sure, I can get all snooty about my IQ, but my IQ is not my fault so it's kind of like acting as if I'm somehow a fabulous person because I was born with eyes.

the answer is obviously chemical engineering, particularly those who pursue career in polymer research.

I'm a good wife and mother.

My qualities as a wife: I am a whole person without him. I love him and I have trouble sleeping without him there (seriously, it's a pain), but I do not need him to be happy and fulfilled. I am also smart, funny, loyal, cute, cook and back, and have a great rack. I am also mean, sadistic, spiteful, and love to wallow in a good bout of schadenfreude. I don't do laundry and I have been known to throw all of the dishes out rather than wash them.

There is nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone who cannot be whole by themselves. There's a difference between being lonely and being so desperate for a relationship that the other person has to be the source of a person's self-worth, sense of value, and reason for living. (Before you protest, Pinkseter/Corrupted Innocence, print off your statements on this thread and show them to your therapist.) Lonely people are not so desperate for a relationship that they'll do anything to be in one (your words, not mine); lonely people want a relationship, but they don't need one. Desperate people want a relationship and they really, really don't need one because a relationship based on emotional dependency is toxic.

My qualities as a mother: He made to legal adulthood in good health, no trouble with the law, with prospects for the future, and isn't (currently) a burden on society. He can balance his checkbook and find the DMV by himself. He also drives like a little old lady and can do his own laundry. He has no idea where the barber is, though. Can't win 'em all.

I popped that slime-coated ur-human out by myself. He was a bit early, but the placenta was tres cool looking. It was like a purplish, deflated basketball with veins. I could totally see the horror movie thing going on, just give it eyes and teeth. Vagina Dentata for realsies!

But. He wasn't mine, completely and totally mine. He was his own person. Sure, I taught him that there's no such thing as bad sci-fi, but he won't watch Star Trek TOS; he prefers Godzilla (good gravy, where did I go wrong?!) and he doesn't know who Surak is. I kid you not. He's got my eyes, my intelligence, and my ADHD, but he did not find Fight Club amusing and he hates math (yeah, I'd think he was switched at birth, too, but he was the only boy on the ward). I love him dearly and he loves me dearly, but he's still not mine. He's living in another state, now, and it hurts, but it's right for him.

Kids grow up. Husbands have their own lives to lead, their own work, their own friends, and their hobbies. What do desperate people do when their spouse wants to go watch the game with friends (try to tag along or, worse, provide a curfew)?

Pinkster/Corrupted Innocence (this new name is very Twilight Fan Girl), you might have great qualities that make you great (as Loric put it) husband-bait. But you have one singular quality that makes you husband-bane: desperation. You've consistently shown desperation and you've said you're desperate. Not using hyperbole to talk about being lonely and looking to change that situation, but actually desperate. If anything, your use of the word desperate is an understatement.

You are not speaking of your future man in terms of a real relationship. You're speaking of your future man in terms of an Edward and Bella and Jacob relationship. Which you probably think is romantic and wonderful and cried at the end. Edward and Bella have a horrific relationship of manipulation, co-dependency, and a mutual inability to be healthy. Jacob is even worse. Men are not stupid people and the kind of man you want for a husband (a good man who is caring, loving, and will provide for the family) is the kind of man that runs screaming, the other way, when a desperate woman starts making cow eyes at him.

Seriously. Print off this thread and your other I-want-a-relationship threads and take it to your therapist. Or send him/her a link.

Just a quick reply to share my favorite place to lurk while eating lunch: 
 
http://chronicle.com/forums/index.php/topic,29894.0.html
 
This is a forum on the Chronicle about horrible student emails.  Mostly they're just funny, but there's some good advice on how to deal with these emails as well. 

I've worked for a number of years as a software engineer, and I've used a number of languages and frameworks along the way -- Python, Django, PHP, Java, JavaScript, SQL, JQuery, HTML, C, Zend, Clojure, R, Stata, SAS, Matlab... I may be forgetting some but you get the idea.  For your purposes, I'd highly recommend learning Python if you want to learn a new language.
 
I wouldn't bother with C -- it's too low level for most research.  C is good when you need routines that are very efficient, or when you need to do things at the byte level.  The downside is that C takes many more lines of code when compared to higher level languages.  You'll spend lots of time writing algorithms and routines that come for free with other languages.  For research, programmer efficiency is paramount, and C just won't serve you well on that front.  Also, C is not object oriented (as opposed to C++).
 
Java is a very nice language, but again, probably not the best choice for research.  Java is higher level than C, and is sort of the de-facto standard to which most other object oriented languages are compared.  Java is almost certainly one of the most popular langauges used in industry (i.e. not in academia) today.  For a variety of reasons (strongly typed, good encapsulation, interface support, etc.) Java is good for enterprise type projects for which many programmers must collaborate.  Java also has great library support, probably better than any other language, and it also has great integration in terms of testing and continuous integration for large projects.  Some people argue that Java is more verbose than Python, and that argument definitely has some truth to it, but newer versions of Java have gone a long way towards closing that gap.  Java is not, however, a scripting language.  You must write in an object oriented manner when using Java.  The fact that Java enforces an object oriented style might be an upside if you just want to learn about object oriented programming, but if you just want a quick and dirty prototype for your research it can get onerous.  This object oriented style and built in access control schemes also make the barrier to entry relatively high for even basic programs.  When you're just starting out this can be a burden because you have to read a lot before you can even completely understand a basic "hello world" program.  Also, my completely anecdotal impression is that Java is not as popular as Python in academia. 
 
C# is basically Microsoft's answer to Java.  I'm sure there are some more meaningful differences, but I don't really have much experience with C#.  Honestly if you're interested in C# I'd just learn Java and then if you need to pick up C# later it will probably be relatively easy. 
 
VBScript is mainly good for writing macros in Microsoft products.  There are some limited applications, but the syntax is poor, and I think you'll find it limiting relatively quickly.  I'd skip it. 
 
PHP is used for building dynamic web applications.  Unless your just need want to program websites, just skip this one.  It also has a sort of klunky syntax, and its object oriented support was sort of tacked on in later versions rather than baked in, which can make it feel kind of klunky.  JavaScript is a client side programming language for the web.  It's a popular beginner language, but again basically useless for your purposes.
 
SQL is a database query language -- it's a very good skill to have in terms of employment and research as well, but it's more of a complement to 'real' programming languages, and so I would skip it for now.
 
I wouldn't bother learning a functional language like Haskell or one of the Lisp dialects until you are firmly grounded in object oriented design.  I say that not because I think an object oriented style is better, but simply because object oriented langauges are so much more popular -- functional languages are used comparatively rarely in both academia and industry.
 
For statistical programming your choices mainly SAS, Stata, Matlab, R, and Python (and maybe Mathematica?  I don't have much experience with it).  SAS is a very powerful tool, although not really a programming language in the same way that say Python or Java are programming languages.  In that sense, it's something more similar to Matlab.  SAS is especially popular with informatics, epidemiology, and bioinformatics types of research.  Personally I didn't care for SAS's syntax very much, but I'm sure there are others on these forums who would disagree.  Again, completely anecdotally, in my opinion SAS's popularity seems to be waning.  Stata is sort of the same, again not really a programming language, and it is popular with economics folks because it has good regression support for sometimes esoteric models.  I'm not sure if it would serve you well for engineering types of problems though.  R is an open source language that is very popular with stats types and other disciplines as well.  It has a strong community and seems to be growing in popularity because of a newfound interest in "big data."  Overall, R is a good research tool and is popular in acedemia.  R is probably not a bad choice, and is in some ways similar to Matlab, so you'll probably be able to pick up the basics quickly.
 
I think that pretty much covers it for the languages that people often suggest as a beginner -- and now I'll put in my plug for Python.  Python has good object oriented support, but is also powerful as a scripting language.  Python is also versatile -- you can use it for research, building web applications, and desktop applications.  Python's syntax is among the best of modern languages, and you'll be able to pick up the basics quickly.  Python is also supplanting R in some datascience applications because of some great statistical libraries like Numpy and Pandas.  If you want to get a job as a programmer Java might be a better choice -- there are more programming jobs for Java programmers.  However, the programming jobs for Python tend to be more interesting IMO ;-)  Also, consultants and analyst jobs (even outside of the tech industry -- i.e. banking etc.) tend to want people who know Python far more often than they want people who know Java.

- Ship all your media (books, CDs, DVDs) via USPS. It is shipped at a much cheaper rate. I think you can send about 200lbs. for less than $100.
 
- Ship your heaviest stuff in large flat rate boxes. I stuffed all my shoes in two boxes and it was $16ish a box. They would have taken up a lot of room in my car.
 
- Price out freight for shipping furniture. You can get a mattress box from a store and ship it freight for cheaper than it would cost to get a uhaul rental sometimes. 
 
- If you know your parents will be sending you package, leave a bag of off-season clothing for them to use as packaging materials.
 
- Sell everything you can and rebuy/CL when you get there. You'll be sad when you realize how much you spend in shipping vs. how much it really would have cost to just sell and rebuy.
 
- Don't forget, the heavier your car, the more gas you go through.
 
Hope some of these help!

I hope you don't mind. I had to turn this into a rage comic I hope you like it!

I gave up explaining linguistics as well.

Before:
- Hey there, what are you applying for?
- Linguistics, historical/comparative.
- The same as your BA and MA?
- Yeah.
- So... is that a science or what? How many languages do you speak? You're going to be a translator, right?
- :AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH:

After:
- Hey there, what are you applying for?
- Languages.
- Which one?
- All of them.
- Cool.

It's easier.

I enjoy teaching to a certain extent. However, it's also easy to pass that off as an afterthought, when your higher priority is research. When I TA'ed general chemistry, I found myself barging into the help room 15 minutes before class to pick up a textbook and learn what we were supposed to be talking about, and sometimes relearning what I've forgotten. That routine more/less worked for general chemistry, but would definitely not fly in a more serious course. I feel kind of guilty, because I did not take the time to really get organized for the course. And I didn't take any time to interact with my students such that some would have taken a greater interest in my course, instead of falling asleep.
 
As for academia. I have no idea. I've heard of good/bad in academia and industry alike. In academia, you get a more laid back atmosphere, more freedom in choosing your research thrusts, but it also requires tons of time and dedication to grants and papers. It pretty much consumes your life. On the other hand, in industry, you're free after you clock out, there's no pressure to "publish or perish," but your projects are probably a lot less engaging, and more focused on saving the company money than coming up with new ideas. I don't think you can make a truly informed decision about this until you do your first rodeo - so to speak.

Do these adcoms you're referring to happen to be freelance sleeper Russian double agent super spies?

when I realized I wasn't in Iowa anymore:

Ahh, this is not unlike an internet flame war where people frequenting the internet forum are caught between two warring troll factions. You are one of the troll factions (pardon the metaphor). The question is: how does a troll win a flame war? The winner is decided by the audience, actually, because it's a social contest. The trolls can bludgeon each other (verbally) in increasing confrontation until one of them gives up and either runs away crying or just quits fighting (usually with snarky comments elsewhere), but no matter which troll faction admits defeat, the real winner is the one that gets the audience on their side. Because the trolls must still be a part of the larger group, the audience will decide who "won" by treating one side better than the other.
 
How does this apply to you?
 
You're in a social group and you're something like a victim of a troll faction. You have, very wisely, chosen not to engage the trolls on their battlefield. You must now defeat the trolls, right? Your acceptance in the larger community is important. It's made worse by the fact that some of the trolls are authority figures. So, what now? Kill 'em with kindness, actually. Don't avoid people, even those at fault who don't want to fix it. Unless avoidance is the only way to avoid aggressive conflict. Passive-aggressive doesn't count. Don't be passive-aggressive either. People aren't stupid. Be civil. The trolls are also colleagues. Your spectators are now going to judge the character of you and of your trolls by how you interact. Are you an adult? Professional? Competent? What sorts of behaviors do people with these traits engage in? That is how to respond to and deal with the trolls from here on out.
 
Since some of those trolls are in authority, you should probably find some way to address it, but only with those whose authority matters. One method might be to, during the break if it's possible, drop by the offices of the trolls in authority and try to have a civil conversation. Hey, I just wanted to stop by and discuss the X Incident. The end of the semester was pretty hectic and some wild rumors were floating around. If you have any questions, I'd like to address them. I think we'll all have a better semester if we can put the incident behind us.
 
Should your best course of action be to lay low until you graduate, don't confront once you have diploma in hand. No piece of your mind. While you're not going to get a letter of recommendation from your trolls, discipline communities tend to be small enough that someone with an axe to grind can make you miserable. I recommend getting a stress doll and giving it a piece of your mind. The final recommendation is to make use of the university's counseling center. Therapists are neutral people bound by confidentiality rules. You can vent all you want in there without it ever getting it out to someone else. A therapist provides a much needed, attentive ear because sometimes, just being heard by someone else makes all of the difference. The therapist can also help you figure out strategies to deal with your trolls in the best way for you and your future, and can help you role play methods to work with the trolls in a civil fashion and to avoid confrontation.

when I realized I wasn't in Iowa anymore:

when I realized I wasn't in Iowa anymore:

when I realized I wasn't in Iowa anymore:

Loric,
 
I am sorry to hear about all the struggles you've had.
 
Well, any school that treats its students like your last Grad school did is not worth going to. It was not your fault. It's not as if you didn't get it. It was just that your Grad program didn't get how to handle a student who thought differently - the professor's Yale degree not withstanding. As I said, I have seen enough Ivy Graduates who don't know how to be a good academic, but who flood the academia.
 
And any Grad program in Arts that doesn't talk about "isms" is not worth its salt.
 
So, I would say don't worry about your past record and don't get tensed thinking about what might happen now. Just relax. 
 
If you can afford it, apply to some more funded programs whose profiles look as though they will be a good fit for you and if a Professor there responds to your email positively.
 
In the worst event, you can explore job options, work and save money and get back to Grad school next year with more experience.
 
It's not the end of the world. So, think positive and who knows, you may get in with funding.
 
Feel free to pm me if you need any advice about Grad applications.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL8e2ujXe8g

it's sure not a good thing, sicko

it's sure not a good thing, sicko

<--- this scene from LOTR scared the absolute shit out of me when I first saw it, and turned the whole series into a horror film franchise.
 
And it also illustrates drive and motivation lol.
 
 
he kinda looks like Einstein too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL8e2ujXe8g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL8e2ujXe8g