danieleWrites

Your therapist's suggestion that you email her with this information is a good one. Email it to her, so she can read it and have her fit over the information where you don't have to see her react. But since you know she prefers to speak with you in person, at the end of the email, let her know that you'll be by her office at whatever time to speak with her about it. She really has no right to dictate what you do during your weekends and holidays. Now, she does have some say in what you do with the first two days of the week, since school is in session and you're skipping town anyway. You can expect her to throw her weight around about that, and she'll likely get snippy about the work you're not doing over the break. Sending her the email first gives you some peace of mind. She knows about it before hand, so you can practice what to say to her when you see her Monday rather than tell her and then wait for her to react.
 
I think you have a power-struggle issue. Not that you're involved in a power struggle, but the fact that a power imbalance exists, and neither of you are doing a good job in communicating across the power divide. She doesn't seem to realize that most people need to be praised by the person that hold their future in his/her hands, at least once in a while. The "this is what you're doing right" thing is critical to build or shore up confidence, to keep the student motivated and challenged, and to give the student permission (though the accuracy of that word depends on individual students) to do things on their own. A few, genuine words of praise can do wonders. Most people involved in evaluating large numbers of people over an extended period of time tend to get very focused on the things that need to be fixed to the point of excluding what's going well. It saves time and, in the mind of the evaluator, it should be obvious to the evaluatee that some things are going well because they weren't mentioned. The ol' "no news is good news" thing. It tends to come across to the students as hyper-critical, rather than time-saving. So, here she is, either unaware or uncaring that students need some nurturing. You are colleagues, to the extent that you're doing independent scholarship, but you're not colleagues. She's not thinking about things from your perspective. You, on the other hand, aren't communicating with her, either. It's not because you're not trying (you very obviously are), but because you're not speaking a language she's parsing. You say: this isn't clear, what needs to be clarified; she hears: validate me! Obviously, this does not work.
 
It doesn't help that she's got a brusque demeanor or an inability to adapt to the teaching style a student requires. Perhaps you need to toughen up a bit, and learn to deal with the eat or be eaten way of the academic world, but beating you down doesn't teach that. It just teaches you to be afraid of and not trust the teacher. But, you can't change her. You've done what you can by trying to speak with her about the relationship, and then talking to the DGS when that failed. The trick is to adapt yourself.
 
You're afraid of her (to an extent). You do not trust her. You're to the point where you think an undergraduate is capable of threatening you with her. It's making you miserable. You can't change her, right? But you can change you. Defang the beast, as it were. This means working around her. When you hand over your work for critique, make note of the problems she wants you to fix, and then go elsewhere for more detailed feedback. She says that something is unclear, thank her, and then go elsewhere. Have a fellow student help out, a different professor, the local writing center, whatever. Form a sort of study group with your cohort, where you help each other with your work. One of the problems many grad students face is a lack of a support system. We're usually in a new school, in a new city, and surrounded by people we don't know. The deep friendships that got us through high school, and even undergrad, aren't there any more. Make a support system out of your cohort. You're not the only one flailing around in the deep end, hoping you don't drown. When the people you should be able to rely on (your adviser) fails you, find others to rely on.
 
The other trick is to hear her differently. When she says, "did you even think about it?!" Don't hear: "i think you're stupid and a waste of time." Hear this: "I do not know that I have the people skills of a rattlesnake and I think I'm doing my best to help you out, so I'm asking you to think about what you read by spitting venom." Do not internalize her personality defects as personal criticism. They come across that way, but just because she implies it, that doesn't mean you have to listen to it that way. Look for the helpful and important things in what she says and discard everything else. When you need a shot of praise, start with yourself. Every evening, before you go to bed, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself one good thing you did academically. Every once in a while, drop by the office hours of other professors that are more likely to brighten your day and have a brief conversation. Ask them how the conference went, or if they think you should go to that conference, or tell them how helpful their class has been in such a such thing. Spending a few minutes with an authority figure that's going to smile when they speak with you can boost you a great deal.
 
Lastly, your therapist can help you figure out how to talk with your adviser. You can't get couples counseling (and if any relationships are in dire need of couples counseling, it's the grad student/adviser relationships), but you can get some tips, and you can have the therapist walk you through or role play scenarios to help you deal with her. You need some things from her, on the emotional front, that you just aren't going to get. So how can you replace her for those things? She's not the almightiest academic in the world, so while you do have to pay attention to her criticisms, you don't have to take them as gospel truth. If she says something is wrong, that doesn't mean you have to fix it her way to please her. You have to fix it, but you can fix it your way. Find  someone you can spend some time with talking about what's happening in your field, and will do so seriously and collegially.

Your therapist's suggestion that you email her with this information is a good one. Email it to her, so she can read it and have her fit over the information where you don't have to see her react. But since you know she prefers to speak with you in person, at the end of the email, let her know that you'll be by her office at whatever time to speak with her about it. She really has no right to dictate what you do during your weekends and holidays. Now, she does have some say in what you do with the first two days of the week, since school is in session and you're skipping town anyway. You can expect her to throw her weight around about that, and she'll likely get snippy about the work you're not doing over the break. Sending her the email first gives you some peace of mind. She knows about it before hand, so you can practice what to say to her when you see her Monday rather than tell her and then wait for her to react.
 
I think you have a power-struggle issue. Not that you're involved in a power struggle, but the fact that a power imbalance exists, and neither of you are doing a good job in communicating across the power divide. She doesn't seem to realize that most people need to be praised by the person that hold their future in his/her hands, at least once in a while. The "this is what you're doing right" thing is critical to build or shore up confidence, to keep the student motivated and challenged, and to give the student permission (though the accuracy of that word depends on individual students) to do things on their own. A few, genuine words of praise can do wonders. Most people involved in evaluating large numbers of people over an extended period of time tend to get very focused on the things that need to be fixed to the point of excluding what's going well. It saves time and, in the mind of the evaluator, it should be obvious to the evaluatee that some things are going well because they weren't mentioned. The ol' "no news is good news" thing. It tends to come across to the students as hyper-critical, rather than time-saving. So, here she is, either unaware or uncaring that students need some nurturing. You are colleagues, to the extent that you're doing independent scholarship, but you're not colleagues. She's not thinking about things from your perspective. You, on the other hand, aren't communicating with her, either. It's not because you're not trying (you very obviously are), but because you're not speaking a language she's parsing. You say: this isn't clear, what needs to be clarified; she hears: validate me! Obviously, this does not work.
 
It doesn't help that she's got a brusque demeanor or an inability to adapt to the teaching style a student requires. Perhaps you need to toughen up a bit, and learn to deal with the eat or be eaten way of the academic world, but beating you down doesn't teach that. It just teaches you to be afraid of and not trust the teacher. But, you can't change her. You've done what you can by trying to speak with her about the relationship, and then talking to the DGS when that failed. The trick is to adapt yourself.
 
You're afraid of her (to an extent). You do not trust her. You're to the point where you think an undergraduate is capable of threatening you with her. It's making you miserable. You can't change her, right? But you can change you. Defang the beast, as it were. This means working around her. When you hand over your work for critique, make note of the problems she wants you to fix, and then go elsewhere for more detailed feedback. She says that something is unclear, thank her, and then go elsewhere. Have a fellow student help out, a different professor, the local writing center, whatever. Form a sort of study group with your cohort, where you help each other with your work. One of the problems many grad students face is a lack of a support system. We're usually in a new school, in a new city, and surrounded by people we don't know. The deep friendships that got us through high school, and even undergrad, aren't there any more. Make a support system out of your cohort. You're not the only one flailing around in the deep end, hoping you don't drown. When the people you should be able to rely on (your adviser) fails you, find others to rely on.
 
The other trick is to hear her differently. When she says, "did you even think about it?!" Don't hear: "i think you're stupid and a waste of time." Hear this: "I do not know that I have the people skills of a rattlesnake and I think I'm doing my best to help you out, so I'm asking you to think about what you read by spitting venom." Do not internalize her personality defects as personal criticism. They come across that way, but just because she implies it, that doesn't mean you have to listen to it that way. Look for the helpful and important things in what she says and discard everything else. When you need a shot of praise, start with yourself. Every evening, before you go to bed, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself one good thing you did academically. Every once in a while, drop by the office hours of other professors that are more likely to brighten your day and have a brief conversation. Ask them how the conference went, or if they think you should go to that conference, or tell them how helpful their class has been in such a such thing. Spending a few minutes with an authority figure that's going to smile when they speak with you can boost you a great deal.
 
Lastly, your therapist can help you figure out how to talk with your adviser. You can't get couples counseling (and if any relationships are in dire need of couples counseling, it's the grad student/adviser relationships), but you can get some tips, and you can have the therapist walk you through or role play scenarios to help you deal with her. You need some things from her, on the emotional front, that you just aren't going to get. So how can you replace her for those things? She's not the almightiest academic in the world, so while you do have to pay attention to her criticisms, you don't have to take them as gospel truth. If she says something is wrong, that doesn't mean you have to fix it her way to please her. You have to fix it, but you can fix it your way. Find  someone you can spend some time with talking about what's happening in your field, and will do so seriously and collegially.

That is probably going to create difficulties for you. One aspect of (most) job applications, most certainly for any R1 TT job but also for liberal arts colleges is a statement about your future research interests. Teaching is indeed very important to liberal arts colleges, but these days there are enough strong candidates that they can also require a strong research portfolio for hiring and for tenure. This research will have somewhat of a different flavor than at R1 institutions because you'll be mostly involving undergraduates, rather than graduate students, in your research and you will therefore need to be a lot more independent -- but it's still a very important component of the profile of a hirable candidate.
 
Your future interests are supposed to grow out of your PhD work, and you'll spend some time during the application process thinking about how you might explain your dissertation (and other) research as fitting into a larger research program. If you will not be able to continue any of your current work at a certain school, that will certainly hurt your ability to publish and conduct research at a timely fashion there. You'll have to start over from scratch, and maybe even rethink your research program. Your past experiences will therefore not be a good indication of your potential to succeed in the future. That will mean, to most people, that you are not a good fit and hence a dangerous hire for that school. If you know that this is where you want to end up, I'd start thinking right now about how you might pitch your research so it can be relevant for the jobs you are interested in, and how some aspect of them can be carried on there. Then I'd get started on doing exactly that kind of research, so you can prove that you have the experience to successfully carry it out. I understand that this is very difficult to do, but if you are unable to turn yourself into someone who could fit in a liberal college environment and work with the resources you have there, I think you'll have a hard time getting hired. Sorry I don't have a better answer than that.

Do you have to do Spanish literature? I'm in an English lit track PhD program and I could shift my emphasis to composition or maybe tech writing. Does your department offer a different emphasis you can do that would be more interesting? You might still have to take literature courses, but if you're aiming at something else, translation, linguistics, or whatever, would you be more interested in that?

Contemplate the end result of where you are.  Does earning your PhD help accomplish a goal you have for your life after you finish the program?  Does the PhD program set you up to choose many different directions, and at least one of them includes goals you now have for yourself?  Just a couple of thoughts. 
 
I did a M.A.T. right after my undergrad, expecting to teach music k-12 as a lifelong career.  5 years into teaching, I finally found that while I enjoyed that career to a point, it just wasn't the right fit.  I did one more year of teaching while I completed pre-reqs, and now I'm back in a MS-SLP program with a much more clear direction of my life goals, career goals, talents, research ambitions, and putting that all together.  I have a much stronger sense of where I am going.  And now I also have student loans left over from the MAT degree to pay off, at some point, plus the student loans of my current MS program building.  
 
YOU are the most important person in this whole equation.  Don't finish a degree you don't see yourself ever needing or using just because of pressure.  Do what is right by your department, and investigate what needs to happen for the course(s) you are slated to teach next semester.  Above all, seek vocational counseling to help you determine your next step.  If you have an allied health sciences dept they usually have counseling from vocational and rehab departments.  You will not want to be "that person" who has started and quit a PhD program only to eventually figure out that you really should have completed it... especially since you are funded.  

Since you have 2 hours and they seem difficult to fill, you can break them into groups and have them discuss things. They're used to you providing all the stimulation. If they don't stir themselves to do any of the heavy thinking to move the course along, they know you'll jump into the breach, usually with multi-media. In composition, I can stop myself at any time and order the glazed faces and avid texters to write something for a few minutes. Literature is a bit more difficult. I can still have them write for a few minutes on whatever, but literature classes work better with discussion rather than lecture and writing. So, it's a challenge to make it interactive, particularly when most students don't read, or skim, or use spark notes to prepare for class. I got a lot of "I can't read stuff I'm not into." Cue eye roll here. The Socratic method didn't work because, well, not enough students had read the work to talk about it in any depth, and instead they waited for me to take over the discussion again. I didn't get any pedagogy until this semester, and that's when I was introduced to Mazur.

Eric Mazur, the peer instruction pedagogist, might be able to help. Here's a sample of his interactive learning lecture. It's about 8 1/2 minutes long, but it is instructive. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wont2v_LZ1EHis If you have an hour and a half, his Confessions of a Converted Lecturer is really enlightening. It's on youtube.

I know you can't use his exact methods in your discussion section, but his learning by questioning methods can be adapted in many ways. The key that starts his interaction is that he gives them a problem, has them think about it, and then has them spend some time convincing their neighbor that they're correct. He uses clickers because he's go large lectures, but a discussion classroom can change that.

As crucialBBQ says, it's impossible for anyone to tell you your chances. In fact, even if you sent this information to the director of graduate studies in the departments you're interested in and the DGS actually responded, you won't get a good probability figure. You can't predict who will evaluate your materials and how it will be done.

This stuff matters because it's what the graduate school uses to separate the wheat from the chaff, as the saying goes. They've decided that these numbers are a cutoff so they can narrow down the number of candidates. Logically speaking, the acceptance decision first begins by choosing who to reject and who to consider later. That's where numbers come in, actually. They have little meaning beyond a very general idea of aptitude in basic things, and a solid idea of aptitude in ability to take the particular test.


This is where you're going to "sell" yourself to the people who select graduate students. What they are looking for is your scholarship. You've presented at a conference. You have a patent pending. You clearly are doing research in the field. Your work at Cisco reflects the same. I have no idea what VTU is, but you included it as important, so I'm assuming that it is shows your scholarship and ability in the field.

Do not think of it as "are my numbers good enough"; think of your application in terms of how you can show them what you've done that makes you a student they should not only admit, but should also offer a good funding package. Figure out what each school wants in a graduate student and how you can fill that want. Most of them want pretty much the same thing. They want someone who will do exciting scholarship, complete the program in a decent time frame, and then go on to do fabulous work/scholarship in a great place. They want to name-drop you just as much as you want to name-drop them.


This is your primary problem, actually. You're thinking like an undergraduate, trying to figure out which courses to take. Graduate programs are about independent research. Yes, the research will be guided, and yes, they will grade the research. However, the ultimate aim is for the graduate student to present a thesis or dissertation that is the culmination of the research that they've done during their entire graduate program. You get more education not through courses (though that does occur), but through your own research, which is expected to add to the body of human knowledge.

The question you should ask isn't what subjects are good, but what your research interests are and which schools have a programs that will allow you to do that research. It does you no good to go to a school that does very little with networks and a lot with game design if you're into networks. Graduate application materials (also known as the argument you will make that will explain to the school why they should admit you) generally focus on what research the apply student wants to do.

Why? What is it about the programs these universities do that you're interested in? No one can offer you any suggestions without knowing what you want to do, not even you.

The application process is an algorithm that begins with you knowing what you want to do. From there, it moves on to finding schools that are compatible with those goals. And then, it is a matter of formulating the materials they require in order to show the department that you're the best applicant.

Should educational institutes help their students in choosing their field of studies? <-- This question seems more like a tool you're using to prompt your writing rather than a device you're using to engage the reader in a substantial way. More importantly, you do not answer this question, instead you shift the topic from whether or not universities should help students choose a field of study to how helpful it would be if universities were to dissuade students from unproductive fields.. Some people may argue that such a decision might have positive effect. Others might have a different perspective. <-- Both of these sentences, combined, say this: people have opinions on the subject. Neither statement has anything specific to say (one is some people are for it, the other is some people are against it). Neither sentence adds anything to your discussion because it expresses neither necessary abstractions (important concepts, theories, or perspectives) nor specific details that would provide background information, current thinking on the subject itself or context. Despite the fact that the educational institutions may give their students a favor by dissuade them from pursuing a fields with lower successful rates, this for sure will not be helpful for all students. <-- this is your thesis statement. It does provide a strong, arguable opinion, and it can guide your essay. It's worded badly because it does not clearly state your position. It does what we call equivocating. First of all, what is "this"? Dissuading students from pursuing fields with lower success rates? Or helping them choose a field in the first place? The opening phrase is good because it gives your general attitude, it provides context, and it tells me what to expect from your argument (though the grammar needs improvement). The actual argument itself is weak and unclear. I'm left to figure out what "this" refers to by myself, and it can be a number of things, "for sure" directly contradicts the equivocating "all" (this implies that some will be helped and some will not), "be helpful for students" is okay. Be clear. Be to the point.

First of all, it is important to notice that most success comes from putting people in the right place. <-- your main point (which is strong) is not at all supported by your evidence. This argues that people should be put in the right place (by others). Your supporting evidence clearly shows the opposite, that people should choose their own place. Although there are certain fields have better market in the industry, but if a person does not have the passion for his field, he/she most likely won't excel. This situation remind me of one of my friends who studied chemical engineering just because he heard that oil companies always hire people with this major and that they are paying their employees good. Unfortunately, my friend worked hard to get his bachelor’s degree, but once he graduated and stared to work in a well known company, he did not like his job and now he is planning to come back to school and do a degree in electrical engineering, the major that he always admire. Thus, it is always important to allow students follow their passions and choose whatsoever field because at the end people always do well when they do what they love. <-- the story is good support, and you've done a good job explaining what you mean in the last sentence. Your word choices need work, as does your grammar. Your sentences are fused (run-on) and have problems with parallelism (words, phrases, or sentences joined by conjunctions, like the word and, in a logical pattern). Bad parallelism: we need milk, eggs, and to pick up the dry cleaning. Good parallelism: We need to buy milk and eggs, and to pick up the dry cleaning.

Another point that we should consider is the negative effect that might happen for the companies in the certain field that is considered not very successful. If the educational institutions always deter their students from going a certain field such as computer engineering, we will see a big effect for many companies working in this industry. Lacking the new graduate for a certain field will have a serious effect. Therefore, it is very important to allow student to go all possible fields without deterring them from going to certain ones. <-- google "active voice" and "passive voice"; also, use specific evidence not generalizations to support a point. See previous paragraph for an example of how to do that.

From all of the above examples, we can conclude that educational institutions should not use any pressure on students in order to deter them from "pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed". Because that will have a negative effect on the students' future and the quality of their work, and also will have a big impact on the companies in that certain field. <-- you have a good argument that you've structured well, and have supported (in the second paragraph) with evidence. You biggest issue seems to be lack of planning followed by grammar issues. Before you write any essay, plan it out. Most people use an outline, but that's not best for everyone. Even in an essay exam, spend a minute or two planning your thesis statement, the main points you will use to support it, and the evidence you will use to support each point. Do that before you begin writing. It will help you develop a strong, useful thesis statement and your introduction. Your introduction should not seem like a belongs to a different paper than your conclusion.

Congratulations! You should contact the Director of Graduate Studies in the schools you've been accepted to and ask about your chances of getting funding from assistanceships after your first semester. This is not an unreasonable question.
 
Try here: http://www.usnews.com/education/blogs/the-scholarship-coach/2012/03/22/an-international-students-guide-to-us-scholarships
 
Unless otherwise stated, most scholarships are open to anyone, not just American students.

Pre-computer, the em dash was two hyphens in a row. If you cannot get the em dash to work, type two hyphens. Of course, word wrap will break the line at a hyphen. A "normal" dash is a hyphen. The en dash is used to separate things like dates, e.g. 15-Jan-2013. The keyboard shortcut for an em dash is ctrl-alt-hyphen or ctrl-alt-0151. It did not work in this text box.
 
As a person who has the training to grade ETS essay exams, and a person who has graded many, many essays (exam and otherwise), the em dash isn't really that big of a deal. Commas work as well for most things. The key is knowing the logic of the essay and catering directly to your reader. Make it easy for them. The average GRE grader (I've heard from one) does about 20 essays an hour. They're locking in a ginormous conference room, or gymnasium, with tables that seat 8 or more people, and stacks of essays to grade. They have food (sugar stuff) at hand. And they read hundreds of essay in an 8 hour span.
 
So. Em dashes? The more important thing is to have clear thesis statements and supporting points. To use interesting language, but not poetic language. Figures of speech are great, but don't pack them on and don't use cliches. Especially if you don't know where the figure comes from. For instance, most people will use things like toe the line (or spell it tow the line) and have no clue what the metaphor refers to. (It's a boxing thing). Don't use GRE words when clearer words work better. Dense language = difficult to read, which means frustrating when grading a massive pile. Any work from any sort of slush pile that is a pleasure to read gets good grades. Pleasure means interesting, complex enough to exercise thinking, but no so complex that the reading must stop or pause in order to puzzle through it. Use specific, concrete details (e.g. top pitchers like Nolan Ryan can throw a fastball in excess of 100 mph) rather than generic evidence (many famous pitchers are known for the speed of their fastball) or abstract ideas (pitching speed is a sign of baseball stardom) to support your main points. Do not use evidence to support your thesis statement directly. Explain your thinking.

Pre-computer, the em dash was two hyphens in a row. If you cannot get the em dash to work, type two hyphens. Of course, word wrap will break the line at a hyphen. A "normal" dash is a hyphen. The en dash is used to separate things like dates, e.g. 15-Jan-2013. The keyboard shortcut for an em dash is ctrl-alt-hyphen or ctrl-alt-0151. It did not work in this text box.
 
As a person who has the training to grade ETS essay exams, and a person who has graded many, many essays (exam and otherwise), the em dash isn't really that big of a deal. Commas work as well for most things. The key is knowing the logic of the essay and catering directly to your reader. Make it easy for them. The average GRE grader (I've heard from one) does about 20 essays an hour. They're locking in a ginormous conference room, or gymnasium, with tables that seat 8 or more people, and stacks of essays to grade. They have food (sugar stuff) at hand. And they read hundreds of essay in an 8 hour span.
 
So. Em dashes? The more important thing is to have clear thesis statements and supporting points. To use interesting language, but not poetic language. Figures of speech are great, but don't pack them on and don't use cliches. Especially if you don't know where the figure comes from. For instance, most people will use things like toe the line (or spell it tow the line) and have no clue what the metaphor refers to. (It's a boxing thing). Don't use GRE words when clearer words work better. Dense language = difficult to read, which means frustrating when grading a massive pile. Any work from any sort of slush pile that is a pleasure to read gets good grades. Pleasure means interesting, complex enough to exercise thinking, but no so complex that the reading must stop or pause in order to puzzle through it. Use specific, concrete details (e.g. top pitchers like Nolan Ryan can throw a fastball in excess of 100 mph) rather than generic evidence (many famous pitchers are known for the speed of their fastball) or abstract ideas (pitching speed is a sign of baseball stardom) to support your main points. Do not use evidence to support your thesis statement directly. Explain your thinking.

The way rankings are determined isn't that difficult. The school itself is ranked with three factors that are given equal share. The first factor is GRE score of admitted students. The second factor is a number assigned by a survey where administration from other schools rank the school (no one ranks their own). The third varies from program to program, but generally is a numerical value based on the jobs or earnings of program graduates in the first year after graduation.

So. You're essentially looking at schools ranked by the collective ability to take the GRE, opinions of administrators in other schools, and monetary value of the degree. This skews Ivy League not because Ivies are necessarily "better" but because prestige skews every level of the ranking methodology. If everyone wants to get into Super Fabbo U, they can pick whoever they want and they'll get the higher GRE scorers, for example.

The way rankings are useful to an individual really is where things get difficult. The information is there and its valuable, but how does it apply to an individual situation? I see a lot of posts here about mid-tier schools, and I'm getting the opinion that people apply to mid-tier because they don't feel good enough for the top-tier and they don't feel the bottom-tier has anything to offer. Never mind that the entire tier system is pretty much predicated on the ability of students to take the GRE (which really only measures an individual's ability to take the GRE).

A better question isn't what we think of the schools you're looking at, but whether or not these schools are doing work in the field you're interested in. Don't reject top-tier schools, either. After all, they can't tell you yes if you don't give them the opportunity. Picking a school is a research-laden endeavor and there are no real short cuts to it, despite what US News & World Report would have you believe.

I love this question! And all of its many variations. Like, here's my draft, how am I doing? What do you think of my draft? Do I need to revise more? All of them asking: what kind of grade and I looking at here so I can decide what kind of work to do on it. I love this question because it's one that they always end up regretting. They want an easy answer, and I have one that requires a lot of thinking.
 
During the time period between the day I assign the first major essay and the day the final draft is due, I hand out a print copy of my grading rubric, a 4 paragraph (one page long) essay that I paid my then 14 year old kid 5 bucks for, and we discuss what the words on the rubric mean. These are the criteria that constitute an essay in the A range, B range, and so on. I have a column that explains what an A is. It demonstrates exceptional competence, and exceptional competence is, well, a long sentence about originality, logic, ideas, and whatnot. Then more columns that break that sentence down into specific criteria. So, when the "what grade does my draft have" questions crop up, I ask them to trot out the rubric and evaluate their own writing based on the criteria. The inevitable "I don't know what you want?! How am I supposed to know if I'm doing okay!" sort of thing comes up and my reply is always: how will you know if the resume you will send to your dream job is what they want until after they've gotten the final draft? It's my job to not only evaluate your writing, but to teach you how to evaluate your own writing, as well. You're not going to email me next semester when an essay is due in another class to ask what grade you'll get. You'll have to figure that out yourself. So, what does the rubric say about your thesis statement?

It is in no way rude to check such boxes, assuming you are applying for a PhD.  The lifetime earning for a humanities and social sciences PhD do not merit paying for the degree. 
 
Repeat the mantra, "An unfunded history PhD is a preventable mistake."

Great news about your nephew!
 
Normally I don't support addressing academic difficulties in your SOP.... but admittedly yours are outside the realm of what we encounter here. 
 
Can you address those deficiencies briefly? As in, one or two sentences.
 
I'd suggest writing an outline of your SOP - if including that information throws off the overall theme of your SOP, leave it out.

Uh, "chancing" graduate programs is not the same as chancing undergrad as graduate programs tend to be more about research and not straight academics. It's really al over the place.  People who appear to have "no chance" on paper get into top programs and people who appear to be shoe-ins are denied.  There is really no way of knowing.  
 
However, before you apply anywhere, I would figure out which "subjects" you want to take...and then narrow it down to best fit. 

Some things to keep in mind. This is the time for mid-terms. Professors have to grade mid-term work (exams and essays and whatnot), turn in mid-semester grades, prepare for undergraduate advising, attend a bunch of meetings, finish tweaking abstracts and stuff for conferences they'll wish to attend, finalize course preparations for next semester, and a bunch of other things. They will prioritize work. LORs in October? Low priority. Very low.
 
Creativity and work ethic? They need to be able to discuss your scholarship. If you aren't taking a class from them now, you should remind them of your scholarship by providing copies of papers you've written for their courses. Psychology isn't one gigantic string of multiple choice exams. You should have some kind of writing sample from your undergraduate work. Provide that as well. Even if you don't, you will need a writing sample to apply to some graduate schools. That will depend on the program.
 
One of my letter writers did not send the LOR until February, a month after the application deadline had passed. I got accepted and funded anyway. You've been through psychology as an undergraduate so you should know that you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Your posts on this thread come across with a strong sense of entitlement, as if you expect your professors to drop everything in their lives and immediately respond to you. I don't know if this is the way you are because I don't know you, but this is the attitude that your posts here give off. Whatever the case may be, almost everyone has to follow up several times with letter writers before they get sent off. Find the best way to follow up that suits the individual professor. Call, drop by during office hours,or email. Everyone is different. Find the best way to phrase your request.

Go to your campus counseling center asap. Most campuses have someone on call all of the time, so even if the counseling center isn't open, you can call them.
 
I say this not because I think the counseling center is going to get you to embrace the joys of grad school, but rather because you feel trapped by your obligations and you don't want to harm yourself and your future by being hasty. You may discover that dropping out right now is best for all involved, or you may find someone that can help you make it through the semester, and then quit. I don't know what your financial obligations would be if you dropped on an assistanceship. Actually, I don't know what mine would be. Huh.
 
All of that pressure, the guilt, extreme depression, anxiety, and exhaustion are horrible things to live with. If you feel like you're at the end of your rope and absolutely can't take on more second of it, find out what emergency counseling services are at your university. I typed the word "counseling" into the search bar on my university's home page. A few clicks later and I was on their counseling center's page with a lot of information, including a number to call at any time, on any day, all year long. If you can wait, go on Monday. Don't stop. You need someone in your corner that will listen to you and will put your health above all other considerations; someone that you can trust to keep your confidence so that you can make your own decisions about your academics and TAing, rather than have gossip get to the department and have them make those decisions for you. Your adviser isn't doing that for you, and really isn't in a good position to help you through this.

No offense, but I think you are going about this very poorly.  Of COURSE they are waiting for the prompt - if you don't have the exact information (ahem, deadlines, websites, info on the schools, whatever) they need to submit the letter to begin with, why would they just start writing a letter anyway?  A small amount of professors might just write a letter out of nowhere, but more often than not, they are incredibly busy!  They already send dozens on dozens of emails a day, and replying back to an email that promises some kind of information in the future is not exactly productive - nor is writing to a school when they don't know the first thing about how to submit a letter.  The initiative here is on you - you send them the information, provide the links or prompt to submit the letter itself, and the information (SOP, transcripts, OLD WORK - you mentioned you hadn't seen your professors in years, might be a good idea) that will remind them about you and give them something to write about in the first place. 
Worrying about whether they're replying is not productive and setting the deadlines yourself (I hear 3 weeks is a good bet, 2 is too short and 4 is too long but I'm not sure about that) will get the ball rolling.  Remember, this is your initiative, you decided to apply to grad school, and as such, you're the one who has to make letters happen.

Not necessarily. Waiving your right is the norm. Professors (whether they write something good or bad) often feel more comfortable doing things in anonymity. Unfortunately, this is something you have to get used to in academia. 

I love this question! And all of its many variations. Like, here's my draft, how am I doing? What do you think of my draft? Do I need to revise more? All of them asking: what kind of grade and I looking at here so I can decide what kind of work to do on it. I love this question because it's one that they always end up regretting. They want an easy answer, and I have one that requires a lot of thinking.
 
During the time period between the day I assign the first major essay and the day the final draft is due, I hand out a print copy of my grading rubric, a 4 paragraph (one page long) essay that I paid my then 14 year old kid 5 bucks for, and we discuss what the words on the rubric mean. These are the criteria that constitute an essay in the A range, B range, and so on. I have a column that explains what an A is. It demonstrates exceptional competence, and exceptional competence is, well, a long sentence about originality, logic, ideas, and whatnot. Then more columns that break that sentence down into specific criteria. So, when the "what grade does my draft have" questions crop up, I ask them to trot out the rubric and evaluate their own writing based on the criteria. The inevitable "I don't know what you want?! How am I supposed to know if I'm doing okay!" sort of thing comes up and my reply is always: how will you know if the resume you will send to your dream job is what they want until after they've gotten the final draft? It's my job to not only evaluate your writing, but to teach you how to evaluate your own writing, as well. You're not going to email me next semester when an essay is due in another class to ask what grade you'll get. You'll have to figure that out yourself. So, what does the rubric say about your thesis statement?

I love this question! And all of its many variations. Like, here's my draft, how am I doing? What do you think of my draft? Do I need to revise more? All of them asking: what kind of grade and I looking at here so I can decide what kind of work to do on it. I love this question because it's one that they always end up regretting. They want an easy answer, and I have one that requires a lot of thinking.
 
During the time period between the day I assign the first major essay and the day the final draft is due, I hand out a print copy of my grading rubric, a 4 paragraph (one page long) essay that I paid my then 14 year old kid 5 bucks for, and we discuss what the words on the rubric mean. These are the criteria that constitute an essay in the A range, B range, and so on. I have a column that explains what an A is. It demonstrates exceptional competence, and exceptional competence is, well, a long sentence about originality, logic, ideas, and whatnot. Then more columns that break that sentence down into specific criteria. So, when the "what grade does my draft have" questions crop up, I ask them to trot out the rubric and evaluate their own writing based on the criteria. The inevitable "I don't know what you want?! How am I supposed to know if I'm doing okay!" sort of thing comes up and my reply is always: how will you know if the resume you will send to your dream job is what they want until after they've gotten the final draft? It's my job to not only evaluate your writing, but to teach you how to evaluate your own writing, as well. You're not going to email me next semester when an essay is due in another class to ask what grade you'll get. You'll have to figure that out yourself. So, what does the rubric say about your thesis statement?

I love this question! And all of its many variations. Like, here's my draft, how am I doing? What do you think of my draft? Do I need to revise more? All of them asking: what kind of grade and I looking at here so I can decide what kind of work to do on it. I love this question because it's one that they always end up regretting. They want an easy answer, and I have one that requires a lot of thinking.
 
During the time period between the day I assign the first major essay and the day the final draft is due, I hand out a print copy of my grading rubric, a 4 paragraph (one page long) essay that I paid my then 14 year old kid 5 bucks for, and we discuss what the words on the rubric mean. These are the criteria that constitute an essay in the A range, B range, and so on. I have a column that explains what an A is. It demonstrates exceptional competence, and exceptional competence is, well, a long sentence about originality, logic, ideas, and whatnot. Then more columns that break that sentence down into specific criteria. So, when the "what grade does my draft have" questions crop up, I ask them to trot out the rubric and evaluate their own writing based on the criteria. The inevitable "I don't know what you want?! How am I supposed to know if I'm doing okay!" sort of thing comes up and my reply is always: how will you know if the resume you will send to your dream job is what they want until after they've gotten the final draft? It's my job to not only evaluate your writing, but to teach you how to evaluate your own writing, as well. You're not going to email me next semester when an essay is due in another class to ask what grade you'll get. You'll have to figure that out yourself. So, what does the rubric say about your thesis statement?

Can 50cc engines handle hills decently? That depends on the model and the load. My school sits on top of a hill I call the Alps whenever I walk up it. I've seen 200 pound guys with backpacks on the Vespa sized scooters. They go up the hill, but I can hear the engine lug and some of them noticeably slow down. A car can go uphill well, put 1,000 pounds of human being in, and the uphill starts getting more difficult for the car.
 
You can get 150cc scooters that'll go just fine in regular city traffic without running a lot of horsepower. In fact, there's not much difference feel-wise between a 50 and 150 until you get over 30 miles an hour. With a 50cc, you can really feel the lack of engine power. Like any other vehicle purchase, it's a test ride them to figure out which one is for you kind of a thing. Eagle Rider does scooter rentals if you want to do a longer test run (and have the money to pony up for a rental). You will need a motorcycle endorsement on your license, however, to test ride anything or rent anything. If you're in the I'm-not-really-sure-a-scooter-is-what-I-need camp, renting one for a day or two can save you money if you find out it doesn't suit your lifestyle. If you're pretty sure, test riding several should be enough. Don't just test ride one, though. Visit multiple dealers and ride multiple scooters. They all feel different, even between similar models. Find the one that fits you best. You can always come back and get it later.

I love this question! And all of its many variations. Like, here's my draft, how am I doing? What do you think of my draft? Do I need to revise more? All of them asking: what kind of grade and I looking at here so I can decide what kind of work to do on it. I love this question because it's one that they always end up regretting. They want an easy answer, and I have one that requires a lot of thinking.
 
During the time period between the day I assign the first major essay and the day the final draft is due, I hand out a print copy of my grading rubric, a 4 paragraph (one page long) essay that I paid my then 14 year old kid 5 bucks for, and we discuss what the words on the rubric mean. These are the criteria that constitute an essay in the A range, B range, and so on. I have a column that explains what an A is. It demonstrates exceptional competence, and exceptional competence is, well, a long sentence about originality, logic, ideas, and whatnot. Then more columns that break that sentence down into specific criteria. So, when the "what grade does my draft have" questions crop up, I ask them to trot out the rubric and evaluate their own writing based on the criteria. The inevitable "I don't know what you want?! How am I supposed to know if I'm doing okay!" sort of thing comes up and my reply is always: how will you know if the resume you will send to your dream job is what they want until after they've gotten the final draft? It's my job to not only evaluate your writing, but to teach you how to evaluate your own writing, as well. You're not going to email me next semester when an essay is due in another class to ask what grade you'll get. You'll have to figure that out yourself. So, what does the rubric say about your thesis statement?