NothingButTheRain

I don't see how it would be an issue. As long as you're able to articulate - even at a basic level - what you intend to do/visit, and how long you're going to be there (which, hell you've now got a visa in hand...) the Canucks I've dealt with are very easy-going about visitors.

Agreed. You can also add in the complexities of the relationship. A new bf/gf doesn't carry nearly the weight of a fiance/spouse, and with that, exactly what are you two willing to go through to make this happen? I disagree with spinosaurus: while one-way sacrifice isn't healthy, relationships (especially long-term ones) are ALL about sacrifice and compromise, usually for the betterment of both parties. If you enter a relationship without considering that you may have to give up some things (talking small things here, not your life's dreams and ambitions), you're either in a parasitic relationship, or you're very quickly going to find yourself single again... whether your academic/career ambitions make that cut is defined by their importance in your life and the relationship you have. To answer the initial question, probably. If we're talking about going to a #2 -4 school on my list to make the better half happy, then yes, I could do that. It also, however, leaves undefined the "why" she's asking me to do that. Knowing my wife, she doesn't often ask for things like that without a good reason... going with what I said above, that's just my answer. Your mileage may will vary.

It depends on how it's worded: "you really hired this *&^clown?" is definitely going to burn the bridge. Tactfully letting them know exactly why otherwise-qualified candidates are heading elsewhere, on the other hand, is pretty hard to misperceive. If their reaction is to throw their weight behind a professor who willing acts this unprofessionally when interacting with people outside the department, then I would argue it's not a bridge worth saving. That said, I'm a non-traditional student with other options; my views may be different from those who "need" to become situated in academia.

I would go one step further and email the department head directly - copying the original email - stating quite simply "this was a major factor in my decision go somewhere else"

I'm always attracted to irrationals...

Seen it happen. I'm not going to lie, I got a little schadenfreude from watching some known idiot/slacker types get in over their heads (by legacy) and then flounder miserably when reality kicked in and their progress didn't meet the expectations of their egos.

Just to make a minor point - the whole "job" thing goes beyond employment. It's more about finding something, anything to do. Employment is usually a good option, especially for a household where one person is going through grad school. But (especially with the job market they way it's been for the past while) it may be a good idea to seek out other areas to get involved in around the community. Fire/EMS departments, school systems, community programs are great ways to occupy time, build connections, and get to know the area better (and may eventually lead to a job).

Congrats. Distance isn't as impossible as some make it seem. It's no fun by any stretch of the imagination, but it's definitely doable, and in my experience, a viable option - especially in the short term - if necessary. The biggest thing that helped us was to set milestones (when's the next time we see each other; we usually had it planned before we left the current one) and what do the long term options* look like. Options needs to be plural because life throws curveballs and things may not work out according to the initial plan. Having viable contingency plans will help maintain sanity. Reasonable and up-to-date expectations on communications will help as well (ie, don't expect to hear from me next week because I have a ton of work, or vice versa, I'm off next week, are you are to talk?). Not meant to be depressing, but communication is (almost) all you'll have; take care of it, because it will make or break the relationship.

I had someone try to tell me that the term "statistically significant" was ambiguous and open to interpretation... that was corrected most ricky-tick.

I saw (and could correctly use) more than half of those when I was in middle school. if you're looking for obscure GRE words (and there are some out there), your list is an oddly-developed one. As far as studying for vocab... it's just like any other subject: you have to do what works for you. Don't over-think it. Look at the lists. If you know the vast majority of the words on there, keep moving. If you don't, then you know what you need to work on.

Studied off an on for about 6 weeks, result was 160V/161Q/5.5W. There's nothing that complicated on there; I just needed practice executing consistently.

The Space Race

I have yet to see a Toshiba go more than 3 year without developing severe heat issues. They were a very popular brand when I was in undergrad and almost everyone who had one had the same experience - great for 3 years, then nearly unrecoverable overheating. I decided to give them a second shot a few years back, and my (relatively) new one is showing all the signs and symptoms as the last one. Won't be fooled again. Dell has been great in a corporate environment, but I wouldn't trust them without an IT department backing you. Sorry this isn't too helpful, since I'm not sure what to recommend, but those are two to stay away from.

Both to the same POI?

Probably not helpful, but good for a laugh. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJqg_-wXnuU

I can't speak for academia, but in industry being asked to write your own LOR is relatively common. Blindly signing one, OTOH... not so much (ie, never seen it done) Usual reasons I've heard floated for having a person write their own are that 1) it gives the writer a view on how YOU think you did (if only to see what you say) and 2) it frequently brings up things that the writer may have forgotten - you remember your own accomplishments in better detail rather than have them try to (mis)remember events. The other unstated reason - let's face it, it's easier to edit and perfect something that's already 80% done... I'm not sure what I would do if I knew it was going to be blindly signed without being read/edited. Maybe write what you think should go into it and send it to him saying "Here's my draft of the LOR. This should give you a starting point; please edit as you see fit"?

Full house

I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can, so I can... Sorry, had to do it. Why not keep a lens case with you and pop them out on your way out of class?

When possible, slow down. Most of the math is not that complex, and (and least in my experience), errors are generated from going too quickly and simply being worn down. If you know what you're doing math-wise, those two battles will be your biggest fight. Glad you're all set.

Equilateral means that all sides are equal => P = 3*s (P is perimeter, s is each side) You have two coordinates of the triangle... so you can use the Pythagorean theorem to solve for s by considering the triangle formed (not the original triangle) when the origin is the third side of this new right triangle. a^2 +b^2 = c^2 (c in this case is equivalent to s, and the two sides of this smaller triangle are the x and y axes... a and b are the distances along the X/Y axes) if we consider a the x-axis distance, and b the y-axis distance, then we get a = 2, b=1 substituting, we get 2^2+1^2=s^2 4+1=s^2 sqrt(5)=s Plugging back into our perimeter formula, 3*sqrt(5) = P

I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here for a second - do YOU think you can? Did your MA work represent your best work? Or did you have more to give that didn't come through? The point I'm trying to make is this: the two people who know your work the best have both come to the same conclusion. They (at least one) may have some terrible people skills, but do you think their comments are valid or not? The situation alone is cause for some heavy introspection and brutally honest self-assessment (NB: this is NOT equivalent to self-doubt, self-pity, feeling like crap, and generally beating yourself up). IMO, it's time to take stock of who you are and what you do and do not bring to the table. What do you have that will contradict them? The last question is not rhetorical, but I don't need your answer to it - YOU do. If you can deliver an answer to that question, I think you will find a lot more answers that you need to move forward, and possibly some reasons why they (or others in the department) should support your Ph.D application. My purpose is not to fill your mind with self-doubt, but rather to cause you to solidify the source of your self-confidence and allow you to articulate it better. Knowing yourself - who you are, your abilities, your weaknesses - is critical. Not only for the application but for any serious undertaking that is going to consume years of your life. Knowing what you want out of it is not enough; having the entire picture of the journey and the process is critical. You may note that I'm not coming at this from an academic perspective (just starting a Masters). I just have experience working in/around people who are all too willing to deliver honest assessment of one another - most of it honest to a fault - and much of which may not be conveyed in the most pleasant manner.

Exercise. A good long run to clear your head or letting out some frustration by picking up heavy objects can work wonders. It also has the added benefit of you being in better shape and less physically stressed on a daily basis. I tend to agree with DropTheBase... what I wrote above is just one example.

Temp agency?

I received mine (electronically) in six days. That may be partially attributed to late June being something of an off-season for the GRE... hopefully for the Canucks it's sent electronically to the schools.

Similar (but more direct) version of Daniele's option 1: A poster above the desk with nothing but large bold letters stating: FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION