LittleDarlings

Thanks, I don't want you to think I sleep around. I don't. I go on dates a lot (not recently because of school and time issues). I know right now would be bad timing for a child and I don't want to bring a kid into that type of situation, I don't want to be in that type of situation either. I have points when I am rational and I know that I am accomplishing so much and having a baby would be so hard now, especially alone. Other times when my news feed is baby pics and engagement rings and weddings I'm like sitting in my apartment calming myself down because my mind starts racing, my face gets hot, I just get angry. As far as why there are a lot of contributing factors to it. I have personal issues, i have mentioned in the past on here I think. Just major self esteems issues I guess. It's the ultimate validation (IMO) to have someone want to marry you and have babies with you. That's like the most "I'm a worthy person, I have purpose, I'm important, I'm pretty, I'm awesome" thing that could happen. I feel like people who are in relationships and married and have families are better or on a higher level than people who aren't (not being offensive, just saying how I see it). I have a hard time not being on that level and it's not something I can just change or force you know? I just know I have to change I can't be like this for forever because it's just getting worse and I feel worse and the lows are lower than they used to be. I also just want to be an awesome social worker and not resent my clients or anything

Hi! So I am about 9 weeks into my Masters program, I absolutely love it. I think I am learning a lot about the field and myself, I didn't expect to do so much self reflection and learn so much about myself, it is almost scary. Anyways one of my biggest concerns going into the program was my jealousy issues, and making friends. I have made a few friends in my classes, people that I could actually see myself keeping in contact with post-graduation. So here is the issue, everyone on this site I'm sure knows my extreme, strong, desperate (at times) desire to get married as quickly as possible and have a family. So obviously everyone in my program is at different points in their lives. A girl in my class is a little younger than me (22) and just got married. She is a very quiet nice person and I have talked to her quite a bit because of class stuff and she always talks about her husband (understandable). Anyway, I can't help but like.. I don't dislike her but I am not necessarily motivated to talk to her or really get to know her, which is awful because she is nice. I just want to not feel like that about her, because in the end it only affects me, and it is only going to hinder me and my life progress. I talked to my therapist a little about it and she said that I should start trying to put myself in those uncomfortable positions because in my field there will be married people, there will be happy married people who got married at 18 and at 23 years old are happy, in love and have families and I can't ignore them, or hate them for having it. I know I need to get over this. I don't really know how. The easy answer would be for me to just go out and date as much as possible and find someone to get me pregnant ASAP and pray they want to marry me, or find someone who wants to rush as much as I do (I did that actually and he treats me kind of bad, but still holds marriage and babies over my head so I still try). How much of an uncomfortable position do I have to put myself in? I just want to get over this feeling. Obviously therapy is great but I only go once a month since my move and I don't know how helpful that actually is. So any advice for me, how to like not internalize I guess? ANY advice would be great.

I say do online dating, it's easy. Who knows you may meet someone and not want to move

Aww you're so adorable! I think you should totally go by the cafe and ask her out. So far you seem to have been a gentleman and you never know unless you try right? So ask her out worst she could say is no. If nothing else you have a friend. ETA: Oh I am super late on my advice haha well good luck

Your grandparents came from a different time so that's not even relevant. I'm done with this argument. Don't ask me any questions, I said what I had to say. A grown man dating a teen is bad. The end. But doesn't look like he's dating her anyways so who really cares? Doesn't look like he's even made an effort to talk to her in months.

Whatever. I am not even going to argue this anymore. It is dumb. He obviously doesn't want her, he hasn't talked to her in months, why is this even a discussion still? My opinion is unchanged. I think a man in his late 20s who would date a teen has some issues, it isn't even that he has issues I guess, I mean who wouldn't want "a newer model" but I just don't think it can last long term. I doubt a 29 year old man is going to marry his 19 year old girlfriend, I mean really. I don't even think I said that you CANNOT EVER date older, I am just saying don't be a teenager dating that much older. I obviously have no problem with being an adult and dating someone older. I'm 23 I want marriage and kids ASAP and a 23 year old isn't into that. I don't mind dating 30 and up but like I said I am 23 dating older not a teenager. That is my opinion, you don't have to agree but it isn't changing.

I really don't need a lecture on people, or relationships... I am saying that a guy who is in his late 20s choosing to date a teenager is sketchy.. that is that. i will not be changing my opinion so thank you for trying but no thank you. If older guys chose to date you because you are a young single mom and they can relate to that then more power to them but at 18 and 19 she should maybe be dating 23 at the oldest. I am not even saying that people can't date older, I am saying the a grown man dating a TEENAGER is wrong, weird and bad. I am 23 I have gone out with guys in their 30s but guess what.. I'm 23 not 18.

Late 20s is old to date a teenager yes. And she is entitled to do whatever she wants but the fact of the matter is he isn't even talking to her anymore... That says something right there.

Sorry I guess at 18 and 19 I wasn't interested in dating old men... How awful of me :/

I actually know 2 women in my program who were SAHMs before going to grad school. One woman in my class has this amazing story, she got pregnant really young and got married and was a wife and mother and... I am not going to go into her entire story but she brings something different to the class. Most of my classmates are like 22-23 and right out of college. I think it is cool, I have taken a real liking to her. The other woman I know is my therapist. She went back to grad school after having a kids young and getting married and being a SAHM, then going to school, dropping out, going back, changing programs, dropping out again working odd jobs, and then finally finding the program she loved. Good luck, I'm sure it'll be difficult but manageable.

I did. Basically I told my boss that I was going back to school and I had important things I needed to do to prepare (there was an issue of hours and time off and mandatory stuff at school) and then shortly after I gave my two weeks.

Oh whatever, you wouldn't question a 40 year old dating a 20 year old? Anyone would. Anyways doesn't matter, I'm going to judge it. Like I said I don't necessarily see the issue with an early 20 something dating an older 20 something or 30 something. Been there done that... Still doing it... but a late 20s dating a TEENAGER yeah that's a problem and I'm going to judge it.

And it's my right to judge them, actually I can pretty much judge anyone I want.. If a man in his late 20s would pursue a teenager I'm going to judge and say that is questionable and suspect. I doubt he is going to pursue a long term relationship with her. Maybe some fun for a little while but like I said before I doubt that's the person he would eventually marry or be with forever. I'm not even saying that age gaps are bad, just the whole being an adult dating a teen is weird in my opinion. Like I said I have dated older as a 22 and 23 year old but when I was 18 and 19 dating someone who was 27 or 28 was just a no.

I still think it's off and I'm judging it. It doesn't matter though because he's obviously not into her anymore

I'm not saying you can't date younger, I am 23 I date older all the time, and much older. But that age gap is pretty big and I cannot see a 27 or 28 year old man having real relationship interest in a 19 year old. I mean yeah he might hook up with her but beyond that I doubt he would date her, show her off to his friends or something. There is a big difference at 23 dating 20-22 year olds and being 27/28 dating 18 and 19 year olds.

A guy in their late 20s dating a teen is odd and questionable, the fact that this guy would want to pursue a 19 year old is suspect also the fact that he hasn't been in contact with her since makes it pretty obvious he just isn't that into you.. move on.

I'm surprised they let you take a placement with no onsite social worker. I interviewed at a place and when they said they had no SW to supervise they were immediately cut (however my school still sends people to interview at that place which is odd)

I agree kind of but 19 and 28? I don't see it. Why would a 28 year old want to date a 19 year old? Anyways this guy doesn't even talk to her anymore so does it really matter?

I'm sorry but why would a 28 year old be really into dating a 19 year old? It is just 2 different stages in life. Maybe if you see him around try to talk but I doubt it would go anywhere.