brown_eyed_girl

Thanks guys for the helpful responses. Was feeling quite hopeless in my situation and realise I'm not doomed.

Honestly? Because a PhD is the time to set yourself up for the rest of your career. 
 
Post-doctoral work and TT positions just get busier, not easier, and the stakes are higher. Learning how to balance your work and life while you're in grad school, and the stakes aren't as high, is how you become a productive academic long term. 
 
I know a PhD program is hard work and difficult, as does Fuzzy- we're both almost done with our programs. 
 
You can, and should, expect to have a work-life balance in graduate school. 

What I've noticed that tends to give a bad impression in past first year students in our program. Some of these, hopefully most of these, should be really obvious. 
 
Don't focus too much on classes, and not enough on everything else. Courses should be a minor part of what defines you as a graduate student/researcher. When your life revolves around courses, and you spend hours not in the lab because you're "studying" for courses we all know don't need that much study time, it makes you seem like you don't really get what grad school is about. 
 
While it's obvious, act like an adult. Be professional in your interactions with people, own mistakes you've made and move on without too many excuses. Don't be the guy that can't get over the fact that he now knows people who are married/have kids/are in their 30s. 
 
That said, treat your work like a job. You're getting paid to take school seriously and do research. If you show up at 10, go to a class, hit the gym for 2 hours and leave at 3, you likely won't make good impressions. That said, you don't need to make school and your work the entirety of your life. 
 
Along with that, lean how to be at least a little bit social. You don't want to be the new department party animal (well, you might, but that's on you), but you also don't want to be that first year who never does anything social with the department, and leaves all the department functions early/doesn't come. 
 
Don't be too cocky. Sure, you'll hear some of the 4/th/5th/6th year students talk critically about a seminar speaker in their area, or a faculty member deconstruct a colleagues research. That doesn't mean you should always do the same. Don't be the first year who talks about how some of the faculty are deadweight/have bad research/aren't as smart as they are. 

Let's not bash non-STEM fields, please! *Someone* has gotta know about the Bobs! 

I'd contact the school directly and ask whether they have a policy on this; some universities may not even let you apply to multiple programs. In other cases if the programs are in different schools they may be totally unconnected and not even know that you're applying to both.  

I agree; since I don't think these programs are particularly large or well-known, I think it would be better to see what you can find out through talking with the director of graduate studies or graduate student coordinator in each department. Pros and cons will be different for everyone, too. My advice:
 
- Ask if the DGS/coordinator can set you up with current students to chat with about the program. Ask them what they liked/didn't like about it, how supported they feel by the school, how much time professors have for them, etc. 
- If possible, visit the departments and set up meetings with a professor or two who you're interested in, ask to sit in on a class, see if there are library tours, etc. Find out where current students hang out. Do you see yourself fitting in better at one program or another?
- Request to see a list of courses at each school 
- Ask about the possibility for interdisciplinary study at each school. Are you encouraged to cross-register in other departments or expected to do all/most of your credits in the department to which you applied?
- Assess the funding situation! Are these programs funded or will you be paying for tuition and living expenses? How much? This would be a major factor in my decision
- How are the programs ranked in your field? Will any of these programs open doors for you more so than the others? 
- Ask the DGS about the school's placement record. Are graduates getting good jobs? Are they getting into good PhD programs? What's the average starting salary of these grads?
- Ask about internship opportunities and connections the school has. Some schools have ins with certain organizations, making it much more likely that you get an internship where you can make valuable connections and build experience. I'd weigh this one heavily. 
- What resources are available on campus? Does this school have a great library and stellar language programs? Or a tight-knit community with lots of clubs and great gym facilities? Resources could be academic or quality of life issues. 
 
Good luck! 

Well, I'd say this is really more a problem of people who think that their experiences are universal. And people who give unsolicited advice.  
 
P.S. These problems are also frustrating for those of us who don't go into STEM. Many warned me about getting a humanities BA, but lo and behold I was one of the few people I knew to have a job offer in my field before I graduated. Granted I'm not rolling in cash, but since I've got only a few thousand dollars in loans and a fun job, I'm quite satisfied with my life choices.

@Sigaba, thanks very much for your concern about the effect of this relationship upon my academic performance and future. I'm happy to be able to inform you that it has had no bearing on my academic performance so far, and I don't intend to let it. I hope that my posts in this thread have not given anyone the impression that I spend all of my time agonizing over this relationship's future to to detriment of all other things - nothing could be further from the truth. I'm not the sort of person who allows my personal life to affect my academic performance, and for me, academics will always come first, at least as long as I'm a student. My relationship is important enough to me that I'm willing to invest time in making it good for me and my partner, but not to the detriment of anything else. To further assuage your worries, I don't have orals for another four or five semesters, so I should have this figured out long before then.
 
@CrucialBBQ, I completely agree with you that bringing up important relationship stuff on a birthday or anniversary can lead to a very loaded interaction, and, while choosing to say "I love you" on such a happy day might seem like the culmination of a great time to some, I can see how it could be interpreted by others as an effort to place pressure on the other person, and I'd like to assure you that manipulation was the furthest thing from my mind when I mentioned this possibility. That being said, I've certainly decided not to pursue that path due to the aforementioned risks, and will find some other way to bring up the subject that is less loaded. It's precisely because I care about this person so much that I've spent considerable time mulling over ways to be honest about how I feel while placing absolutely no pressure on the person to either respond in kind or to change their professional plans because of me. Like you, I've been around the block a bit and know how hard it is to successfully communicate your hopes  for a relationship without making your partner feel pressured to have the same ones, and it's because I'm been on both the giving and receiving end of such hopes in the past that I wish to be mature and realistic, but also honest and open in my communication. This can be scary to do no matter how old you are or how many relationships you've been in, so wish me luck

Zombie400, MidwesternAloha:  Thank you so much!  And thanks for putting up with my whining for these last few months!
Tomorrow, when I wake up, that sinking feeling will be gone.  I wish the same for everyone!  May all of you get that notification on your phone, glance down and see "Congratulations!" next to the name of your dream university.  May you all know what it is like to have your heart skip a beat as you hop the boundaries of purgatory, and one fraction of a second is all it takes to bring you there.  
 
Good luck to everyone on here still waiting!  And for those who didn't make it - I came close to being in the same boat.  I would have tried again!  So should you!

Hold up. To clarify: You believe you could get into a more prestigious school for the MFA in creative writing than say, a PhD in art history, am I correct? 
 
I think what needs to be said here, is that some people will always believe you have to be in a top ten. I think this is maybe true for fields like Philosophy, but not necessarily true everywhere, especially here. Keeping in mind that for many people in the field it's who and what you know. If your subfield is over-saturated, it's just going to plain be a problem no matter what. If you're not in the top ten BUT you know well connected people or are studying under an established and well known scholar...well then, you're talking about something different. Getting hired isn't a process that happens in a vacuum. If people hiring already know you through your advisor/committee/experience in the field/conferences/etc, it's again, going to be different than going up against the candidate who is less familiar but has a great institution name.
 
What the name of an institution really matters is less that it's an Ivy at this point, and more that the school has a reputation for something you want to be known for, or similarly, your advisor has a reputation, etc. Going to Podunk #46 State school for your PhD isn't necessarily bad if you're studying say, Ancient Egyptian Art and they're really well known for it, and have an abundance of facilities and research in the area. Going to Northwestern for Art History is impressive, but not exactly helpful if you're hoping to study Pre-columbian Art. 
 
So like you've surmised, the ranks don't exactly match to the internal ranking system people do in real life. What's more important is the connection of your school or advisor/committee to have recognition for what you are studying in your sub-field. If you go to Podunk, you want people to go "OH, they have an AMAZING scholar/focus on [thing you study]."
 
I have no idea how well writing poetry would serve you in the job market in general, but they are obviously completely different degrees. If you want to be in Art History -- seriously and completely -- then apply to funded MA's, and then you'll have a much better chance at getting into whatever top notch PhD you really want if you are an excellent scholar, etc. To me, they're different fields, with different requirements and goals. I know some people with creative writing MFAs who work in museums, but they're A.) not in poetry and B.) not curatorial or academic. What do you want from your degree?
 
Do you need a degree to be a poet? In art history, a degree is required to work or teach in the field, almost universally. Of course, no degree is required to appreciate art, or even to volunteer in places with amazing works of art.
 
 What do you want to be hired for, what do you want to do, and then work from that. I see no reason to do a degree in Art History if you'd rather be teaching Poetry, or have an MFA in Poetry if you really want to be an Art History professor. If the money is of no question, then do whatever makes you most happy -- neither are guaranteed to give you a job anyways. 

From queennight: "...if you can see yourself moving from town to town as a lowly adjunct (nothing wrong with that, it's just an incredibly difficult life bordering on the poverty line, but I have a lot of respect for individuals who manage to pull through it - that's pure passion) then go ahead and try for the Art History Ph.D..."
 
As an art history PhD candidate... I'm not so sure where this impression that job prospects with a PhD in art history are all that different from job prospects with a Ph.D. in English Lit. If anything... because people with PhDs in art history often siphon off into two viable career tracks that involve rigorous research and in-depth scholarship (curatorial and academic) there are more options.
 
From lyonessrampant: "if what you want to do is curate at a museum, you might want to do museum studies programs instead.  Much better employment statistics and you could still do research on art."
 
This isn't the case at all -- for major curatorial jobs, especially outside of contemporary art, a PhD in art history is pretty much a prerequisite these days. And even for curatorial positions in contemporary art, an MA in Art History from a rigorous program like Williams, Bard, or Tufts is necessary. An MA in museum studies won't cut it. 

Let's not bash non-STEM fields, please! *Someone* has gotta know about the Bobs! 

Let's not bash non-STEM fields, please! *Someone* has gotta know about the Bobs! 

Let's not bash non-STEM fields, please! *Someone* has gotta know about the Bobs! 

Let's not bash non-STEM fields, please! *Someone* has gotta know about the Bobs! 

Which school is higher ranked in your field? Which department has a better placement record? Which advisor(s) are a better fit for your research interests? Which program has more resources (money, library/archives, faculty in your areas of interest)? Whichever school has those things is the one you should go to.

I never thought I would be the one writing this but.....
I GOT OFF THE WAITLIST!!!!
I am still in shock, all systems are currently down...

If applying for a PhD program, prefer letters from people with PhDs. Someone who doesn't have a PhD (=a TA, for example) can't really comment about your potential to succeed in a PhD program, since they've never been through one themselves and have not advised anyone who has. Sometimes you can ask to have your letter co-written by the professor and TA of a class, so you get both the perspective of the person who knew you better and the perspective of the person with authority.
 
Also, if applying for PhD programs, prefer letters from academics over ones from industry. If you have to mix, do two from academics and one from industry, or look into the possibility of having all 3 letters from professors and an additional supporting letter from a boss from an industry job.
 
If applying for a more applied program or a Masters, you could consider having more letters from industry or people who have the kind of job you'd like to have in the future. Anyone who can say something about your potential to carry out the job you are hoping to be trained for.
 
In general, prefer someone who knows you better over someone who doesn't, the reasons for that should be obvious. 
 
Also, prefer someone in a position of authority over a colleague. A letter from a colleague won't carry more weight than a letter from a friend or family member. You want a letter from someone who is in a position to evaluate your work and speak about it positively as it compares to others carrying the same role. A colleague is just not in that kind of position. Like above, you could look into having a letter co-signed by your direct supervisor and someone higher up, to combine the benefits of having types of perspectives in your letter.

Rankings aren't everything - while program reputation does play a role in jobs in academia, they're not the end-all, be-all of getting an academic placement. Your field does indeed matter - it's more difficult to get placed in saturated fields. So going to a top 40 program may be more of a problem in English literature or history than in engineering or medical physics.
 
For an example, I'm looking at programs in the top 40 in my field (psychology) that are ranked around 30-40, and right away I recognize some great programs. Two of those programs each has someone very famous in my subfield, and another two have at least 4 people off the top of my head I can think of that are very famous in a related subfield - who would be excellent mentors. Even some programs outside the top 40 are pretty well-respected in my area. I will say that psychology is a relatively large field with over 100 programs in psychology, and virtually every college in the country has a psychology major. At the same time, psychology is a field in which (believe or not) a substantial number of PhD holders actually exit academia and go to work in industry. So even the small teaching colleges and regional comprehensive universities will need psychology professors with PhDs, and so students in the top 40 - which are great programs - can be well-placed at one of these programs.
 
So it really depends - what is the actual reputation of the program like in your field, aside from the absolute number of its ranking? When you look at the faculty listing of places that you'd like to teach, do they have faculty who have PhDs from programs that have a similar reputation to yours?

Congrats on your decision! You really can't go wrong with these options, but it sounds like Penn will be a great place for you.
 
Others may have more specific insight on these programs, but from what I have heard generally I doubt you'd have any significant advantage applying to Chicago after completing your masters there versus after completing it at Penn. Plus, assuming that you want to go there for your PhD I think you'll benefit from having a different experience and building a larger network by going elsewhere for the MS. 
 
Good luck!!

Thanks y'all! I guess I have a better idea of what I'll probably do now. I'm almost 100% sure UPenn would be best for me at this moment.
 
As a final question, though, the situation is that the PhD program offered by UChicago is really wonderful and would be the top choice one for me once I'm done with my masters. Under that light, would either choice increase/decrease my chance of being taken there better? In other words, which would help me best if my final ambition is to pursue a PhD at UChicago: the network I'd establish as a masters student there or venturing out to another equally prestigious school for my masters?
 
I'm sorry for how entangled what's going on in my head looks like and has come across! I just want to make sure that I make the best choice I can right now thinking long term and where it is gonna take me.

Just got the admission offer from Upenn and with $9000 scholarship!!! Super happy!! now waiting to hear from Harvard (Also wait listed). Wish you all the waiting applicants here the very best of luck!

If you'd be sad about missing the opportunity to do the nanotech MS at Penn, why not do it now? You wouldn't have been accepted if you were unprepared (admissions committees' whole job is to suss out whether you're equipped to do the work well!), so I wouldn't worry about that for now. If this is really worrying you, I'd also ask Penn whether they would let you take some of the other classes you think you need as electives, or enroll in summer classes before starting your nanotech curriculum. Getting 2 masters degrees isn't recommended unless you really need to, for example in the case of students who are drastically switching fields and need to do a second MA before they'd be considered for a PhD in the second field. 

yaaa no.... people in this thread are saying that "they know they should pick their dream school" but insist on being neurotic and beating the question to death by asking everyone and anyone their opinion. even when all of those opinions align with "pick the dream school" these people STILL don't decline offers. you people are gross, selfish and awful.

Well, it's not exactly the same, but I met my husband while visiting home for Christmas break my freshman year. After three weeks, I asked him what kind of relationship he wanted. I was fine with having a casual relationship or a serious one and dealing with long-distance. I asked him which one he wanted. IN my case, he wanted to try a serious, long-term relationship, and we've been together ever since. Of course, he could have gone the other way, but in either case, I would have known what he wanted. 
So, basically, I think it's a good idea to lay your cards on the table and ask him what he wants. You might get hurt (or not), but you won'd have this uncertainty and will be able to look for someone who will want the same things you do. 
Best of luck!