ImagineMe

Whether or not it would be valuable depends largely on what you see yourself doing after graduating. If you are interested in teaching at a liberal arts college, community college, or regional state university, they will be looking to see that you have good experience teaching and are able to teach an array of classes right off the bat. In those kinds of institutions, you will be required to teach several different courses at any given time, so they want to know that you have experience teaching different things and will be able to do that if they hire you since you'll be starting with a 3/3 or higher. If you are seeking employment at R1s (research-intensive institutions), then being able to teach several different courses immediately is less important and your research and publications are more important. In anthropology, that probably means how quickly you can turn the diss into a book and get that published, as well as your ability to acquire NSF, NIH, or other major grants to continue your research and pay graduate students. If the R1s are where you want to be, then don't TA this methods course. If you envision yourself teaching anywhere else, then TAing this methods course could help you in the future.

Don't do this to yourself.  The work will always be there-there will always be more work to do, more work that *could've* been done, and so on; the time to spend with family and friends will not be.  Take it from me, I've been there (albeit not with grad school).  The less morbid version:  ten years from now you will hate yourself for putting the paper before family; take the time to visit family and ten years from now you would have forgotten about that paper.  You think you feel guilt now?  That is nothing compared to the guilt you will feel if you didn't go. 

I'm 1000 words behind where I was hoping to be today, and I'm incredibly unmotivated. I don't want to write, I don't want to read, I just want to go back to bed. 

I also have to disagree with NicholasCage's comment.  90-95 percent of academic institutions in the United States are teaching-focused institutions; therefore, most of us will end up there.  Your teaching skills are going to be an important part of the hiring process at those places.  Plus, even research-intensive institutions would rather have a professor who can connect well with students AND is a great researcher than a professor who is a terrible teacher (unless that second research has mad money).

My advice:

1. Don't spend an inordinate amount of hours preparing...well, anything for class.  Learn to limit your prep time.  Part of that is because the students are going to ignore a lot of it anyway, but most of it is because you need to learn balance early in your career.  For example, I have a tendency to do line edits on students' papers, so I try to limit myself to editing only the first page to a page and a half and then add a comment like "You have errors like this throughout your paper; please proofread and fix."

2. Related to #1, learn to wing it.  I create slides for my lectures but I no longer write extensive notes.  I actually find I lecture better when I don't have notes, because then I'm more free-form.  And I don't just mean talking extemporaneously - I mean switching gears when your students look bored or aren't getting it.  As you get more experience this will become easier.  

3. Create an organizational system for grading.  Buy folders or binders or trays or whatever you want to organize 1) graded papers 2) to-be-graded papers for different classes.  This way you won't have paper all over the apartment, which drove me absolutely nuts.  You also will be better able to keep up with assignments, lowering the risk of losing one.  If you have a choice, absolutely collect everything electronically through the course management system.  Forget all that paper.

4. Totally agree with not assuming that upper-level students know how to write properly.  If you are at an elite university, do not assume that your students are automatically good at whatever it is you're teaching them.  I was kind of shocked my first semester TAing at the quality of work I got from students at my elite university - I went to a not-elite place and assumed that the students at the elite place would be simply amazing, since the students at my not-elite place were great.  And they are amazing...in different ways...in the typical way that college students are amazing in their ingenuity and creativity (both for good and evil).  But they're not substantially smarter or better than students from other, less elite institutions. They're just richer and better prepared (on average).

A few years ago my younger sister asked me to help her with a paper that was very similar to a paper I was currently grading for a class very similar to the one she was taking at her regional public college, to which she commuted from home.  My family is blue-collar; she went to a regular public high school and was a slightly above-average student.  Her paper was better written than MOST of the students' papers in my class.

5. If you are TAing for a professor and it gets down to 2 weeks before the class starts and you haven't heard from them, contact them yourself.  Most times you will get an apologetic "Oh yeah, I'm teaching a class!"  If you get a brush-off equivalent to "Mmm, I'll think about it in two weeks," prepare for an interesting semester.

I think the most important to remember is similar to what hashslinger said.  Remember that we were the nerds in high school and college - we showed up shiny and excited to learn.  Particularly if you are teaching an intro class, your students will not be as excited as you, and some of them will never get excited.  They may be taking it because it's an easy GE requirement, or they need some extra credits, or they heard it was an easy A.  Perhaps 10% of your class will decide to major in the field; maybe another 10-20% will not but will be genuinely interested.  The rest will be some varying levels of "whatever." Visualize that 20-30% when you are preparing lectures, but realize that not even close to everyone is in that area and some people will be grubbing for grades.

Oh, also, don't be afraid to indulge in geekery, as long as you don't go down the rabbit hole too deeply.  One of the things that has reached my students is how geeked and enthusiastic I am about my interest area.  Even when they think I'm silly and uncool, they still appreciate my passion, and in some of them it has led to really productive curiosity.
 
ALSO.  I lurk on the "In the Classroom" threads on Chronicle of Higher Education's forum.  There are lots of experienced professors there and they have AWESOME advice (and really funny stories).

Typically, prep for TA work starts in the week or two before class begins. Some schools don't even assign TAs until this time! You're fine
 
Each person's style would be different, but what works for me is to start on the course material about 1-2 weeks before the term begins (readings, assignments etc.). This way, I am always 1-2 weeks ahead of the class. I find that this helps me stay "fresh" with the material because I just recently went over it, and also it helps me stop myself from spending far more time on the course I'm TAing that I should be. And I think it also helps so that I can adjust e.g. problem sets to fit with the class ability as we go along, instead of setting everything in stone before I even know my students.

The following is fairly exact.
 
6AM: Wake up. Shower.
6:20AM: Get husband out of bed.
6:30AM: Get two kids out of bed.
6:35AM: Feed dogs; make coffee; make and pack lunch.
6:45AM: Get younger kid out of bed, again.
6:50AM: Walk dogs.
7:05AM: Leave house (with husband and both kids).
7:15AM: On campus.
5PM: Leave campus.
5:30PM: Eat dinner; family time.
7:30PM: Tuck kids in bed.
8PM: Exercise.
9PM: Relax (knit, crochet, statistics, etc.)
10PM: Bed.

Cute.

I've found it is something that gets easier to deal with over time. As a TA starting out you feel nervous, unsure if you even *are* qualified to teach and perhaps could have made the grading rubrics clearer beforehand. Anyway, I'm almost certain that students can sense this kind of uncertainty in their TA, even if they couldn't articulate it.  
 
Be briskly firm, but polite. Have a stock set of phrases to use "You needed to do X to get an A grade...and you didn't do that." Remember that you are in charge and that the power rests firmly with you. Do not get drawn into arguments with the student - state your reasons and keep stating them if they keep on arguing. Do not talk more than is necessary - anything you say an opportunistic/desperate student will want to use against you. You aren't actually obliged to waste time with the student if they are being argumentative and refusing to listen to you - tell them that. 

At our university, all international TAs must take an EFL test. If you meet the basic standards of English proficiency - then you're allowed to teach. If you don't meet the English language requirements you will keep the TAship but instead do grading in your first semester rather than teaching, and take an English language class through the university to get up to the necessary standard. Then after the first semester you are assessed again. Something similar might happen at your school. 
 
There will probably be a lot of Chinese and International TA/grad students in the same position as you when you arrive. It is a steep learning curve for the people I've seen - but none of them have ever been disciplined for their language skills.
 
Most grad schools don't expect their TAs to be brilliant teachers from the day they arrive: as long as you can deliver the material, turn up on time and follow the rules laid out for you, then you'll be fine. Don't worry about being "interesting" or having a native-level fluency - those things come later. 
 
The best way to prepare for speaking English in front of others...is by speaking lots of English. Look for conversation groups, language exchange partners or tutors in China before you start your program.  

I suggest you watch your language. I don't have a lot of patience for this. Both of you.  

TLDR version: Grad students make more than adjuncts. If universities are reliant on grad students (and they are), their teaching tasks could be easily replaced by any number of adjuncts and cost the university less money. Most grad students don't make $30K/year. Apply for all the grants you can and celebrate your successes with those who are happy for you. Ignore the haters.
 
 
I'm just choosing a few parts of your long comment to reply to. Okay, so this is probably a field difference but my school does NOT own the research work I have done. While teaching is something we do for the school, we are also paid to do that teaching. The alternative might be to pay PhD students as adjuncts (which really is the job that many PhD students are being trained for these days whether or not people want to admit it). If that were the case, the $30K/year you suggest is definitely way more than they would be making without a significant increase in their teaching load.
 
Also, for the record, that $30K/year is definitely NOT common in most of the humanities or social sciences, at least outside the Ivy League and elite private institutions. I don't think there's a single program in my field with a stipend that high, unless you are being externally funded via NSF GRFP or NSF-IGERT.
 
A few examples just to illustrate my point. University of Washington Political Science: "Full-funding awards, regardless of the categories of funding, amount to over $45,000 for the 2013 - 14 academic year. This consists of a 3-quarter tuition waiver; a quarterly stipend of $5,034 per quarter ($15,102 per year with three quarters of funding); and health insurance http://www.washington.edu/admin/hr/benefits/insure/gaip/index.html with medical, dental, and vision coverage for each quarter of fellowship or employment as an RA or TA." That is in Seattle, certainly not an area known for its low cost of living. Arizona State University Department of English: "$13,000 for students with a bachelor's degree and $15,000 for students with a master's degree, or 30 hours towards the Ph.D." University of Colorado Boulder Political Science: "This year’s stipend is $16,881.55 (50% appointment) for teaching assistants. The department also provides in-state tuition and subsidized health insurance ($1,350/term of the $1,515.00) for those offered teaching assistantships." Anthropology at the University of South Carolina: "A typical assistantship for M.A. students pays $4500 per semester and students work 14 hours per week.  Assistantships for Ph.D. students pay $5500 per semester and require 20 hours of work per week." I assume that's sufficient to demonstrate my point. At my PhD university, the only students with stipends above $25K were in the sciences and engineering. Those in education, humanities, and social sciences were making $13-18K/year depending on the department and the availability of summer teaching.
 
That said, I know plenty of graduate students who had children before or doing grad school or dealt with serious medical expenses (long-term illness in several cases that I know of) or various other things. There's no rule that says unless you make over $30K/year, you don't have enough money to raise a child, you know?
 
So I agree with the first part of this. It's always great to apply for funding. That said, my PhD program was one where getting the NSF GRFP or EPA STAR did almost double one's income over those on a departmental stipend, which definitely leads to vast differences in what is affordable. Those people were the ones able to buy houses in our grad school city or live in nicer places while the rest of us rented.
 
Now the point about entry-level stipends is an interesting one. Entry-level stipends vary widely and, in some cases, don't really exist because there aren't jobs available with a BA. Plus, that stipend wouldn't account at all for the classes grad students take and the time spent advising them (though you could argue that the latter is equivalent to having a mentor at work or an on-the-job training program).
 
Also, while yes, universities do need us, they could also continue to hire temporary labor for much of the same work. At the institutions I've been at (3 thus far post-bachelor's), all have admitted that hiring adjuncts is cheaper than admitting graduate students. Why? Not only do TAs make more money, they also require that faculty teach and train them (so teaching and service on the part of faculty). Adjuncts don't require that. So I don't know that it's fair to say that graduate universities need us since most grad student TAs could be easily replaced by adjuncts. That is probably part of what keeps graduate stipends low.
 
Devil's advocate: Here's the thing are graduate students really being asked to live below the poverty line or are they choosing to by accepting those offers? I say this as someone that accepted an offer close to the poverty line for where I was and based on my household size but I did this knowing that it would require budgeting and being careful about what I spend. Is that so different than people in many other occupations, especially entry-level ones? Not really. I see lots of full-time entry-level jobs that pay $23-32K/year. Those are full-time, so theoretically double the number of work hours as a grad student puts in. In fact, I was encouraged to apply for one such job during my PhD and decided not to because the salary for the FT job was not quite double my FTE rate as a grad student. And I'm in the social sciences in a field where no one is making $30K.
 
Other part of course is that most of academics working these days are adjuncts not making $30K/year. Most of academia is contingent labor, so it may be useful, at some point, to remember that grad students often make more than adjuncts. At my current university, the English grad stipend is around $13.5K/year for teaching two sections of freshman comp per semester. Adjuncts in English make $1550 per course. So the grad student gets $13.5k/year (and gets health insurance) while the adjunct gets $6200 pretax for the same amount of teaching. And that's ignoring that the adjunct is paying social security and medicare taxes while the grad student is not.
 
Okay, this post is now super long. Apologies for the length. What I want to say to the OP is that you should keep applying for grants. You never know when you will get one and when you won't. Improving your CV is one of those things you have to do for you to maximize your chances of success. My graduate program had some people who try to diminish or make you feel bad about your successes so I stopped talking to them unless absolutely necessary. Good luck, OP!

I would argue that emotional support and regular sex are definitely necessities, especially when launching yourself into a potentially demanding and stressful environment. I wouldn't underestimate the benefits of finding a romantic partner during grad school; yes, they require work, but their benefits can be numerous. 

I am on J-1 status too, and my wife has J-2 and also has permission to work. So I was in the same situation as you.
 
The financial requirements for J-1 is different from F-1 in two ways:
 
1. You need to show funding up front for the entire degree program (6 years in your case), not just the first year
2. Your source of funding must mostly not come from personal/family funds. "Mostly" is not well defined but it sounds like your school is defining it to be 51%.
 
I think you already know that, but just to make sure we are all on the same page. Now, for your actual concern:
 
First, you should know that you need your DS-2019 to show at least 51% of all the funds to come from a source that is not you or your family. The people that create your DS-2019 is your school's international student office. It's up to them to decide how long to make your DS-2019 valid etc., so you will have to work with them!
 
Here are things I think you should do:
 
1. I am assuming the International Student Office is asking you for this information at this point. I am also assuming that, like most PhD students in the sciences, you have a letter saying you are fully funded for year 1 and will continue to be fully funded as long as you make satisfactory progress etc. Usually, this is enough for the International Office to issue your DS-2019 assuming that you will get all of the funding (or be kicked out otherwise). My letter said the same and my DS-2019 shows the amount for 6 years. So, first, I would forward your offer letter with your funding to your school's international office and see if they will accept conditional funding to be good enough for your DS-2019.
 
2. If they tell you that they can only put the guaranteed amount, I would ask them what they need from the department in order for you to have the full amount on your DS-2019. Let your department know about this so that they can issue you a letter with satisfactory funding. Of course, if your international office suggests a different path, then go with their advice! I would think that the international office is on "your side" and will help you get what you need!
 
3. I think it is indeed possible for them to issue a DS-2019 for one year only and then as you get more funding from your department, they can issue additional DS-2019s (or extend yours). This isn't ideal because when you and your wife get to the US on your initial DS-2019s, you will have to use this information to apply for your wife's Employment Authorization Document (EAD). Depending on mysterious rules, your wife's EAD can be valid for just 1 year or it can be valid for many years (my wife's EAD was issued for 4 years). But, the upper limit is the length of your J-1 status, which is tied to the length of your DS-2019, which means if you only have a 1-year DS-2019, then your wife's EAD is only valid for one year and you have to apply for another EAD again. The EAD process takes about 3 months so in order to not have an interruption in your wife's job, she needs to reapply 4-6 months in advance of the expiration, which means you also need to get your DS-2019 extended by then. This can end up taking up a lot of your time and money (applications are $400 each time) so I think you should try to work with your school's international office as best you can in order to get your DS-2019 for the full 6 years!

There are two ways your income can be taxed in the US, more or less:
 
1. "Payroll taxes" - these are taken out of each paycheck and add up to 6% of your paychecks. One part goes to Medicare, insurance for seniors, and the other part goes to Social Security, which is fixed income for seniors.
 
You will not pay payroll taxes on your stipend under most circumstances. This is a good thing for the most part, other than that you won't be eligible to receive Social Security if you naturalize and retire here without eventually paying payroll taxes. If you work in the USA, you'll begin paying into those and you'll have nothing to worry about.
 
2. You have the standard income tax. This is something you'll file after the end of the calendar year with the federal government (the so-called "Internal Revenue Service" or IRS). Some of your benefits will be taxable. What you won't include in your taxable income is tuition waivers or other portions of your stipend used for tuition. Certain other costs can be exempted from taxes, most notably things like textbooks -- the rule here is that it must be required of all students in the course. So books, computers, etc. you might buy for general research will not be exempted. 
 
Generally speaking, anything you spend on personal expenses, which includes your housing, will be taxable income. So if you have a $15K stipend and the rest of your costs are covered, then $15K is your taxable income. In the USA, it is customary for your employer to withhold a certain portion of your paychecks for the purpose of covering your income tax commitment. This is sometimes done for graduate stipends, but not always -- it usually is not if you have a fellowship rather than teaching or research assistantship. The amount withheld will be based on the assumed amount of taxes you'll owe at the end of the year. In this case, it may be the case that when you file your taxes, you'll be getting some of that back since more was withheld than was needed. If your school isn't withholding for you, you will have to make arrangements to budget that portion of your income -- you may pay on a quarterly basis.
 
Further, you could be subject to state income taxes. Not all states have an income tax and there is a great deal of variability in how this is done. There is some chance that even if your state has an income tax, your income won't be high enough to be eligible. 
 
There are more variables based on your resident status and your home country. You may be a "nonresident alien" or a "resident alien," the latter of which will have what is known as a green card. Determining residency status for an international graduate student is bafflingly difficult to me as it is filled with exceptions and this and that. The fundamental taxation difference is that resident aliens are taxed on American income as well as any foreign income while nonresident aliens are taxed only on American income. I'm guessing you'll eventually become a resident alien, but that is not clear to me since there are exceptions for students. You can see some scenarios here: http://www.irs.gov/Individuals/International-Taxpayers/Alien-Residency-Examples
 
Germany (if that's where you live) and many other countries have tax treaties with the USA with provisions for students. These vary so much that it is difficult for me to tell how that will affect you. It may mean that you simply pay taxes to your home country instead. This partially depends on whether you intend to become a permanent resident of the USA or leave as soon as you are finished studying.
 
Other insurance:
 
You will need medical insurance. This is a benefit you should receive from your school, though not all will offer it. As you weigh your options, make sure to find out the degree of medical insurance they will offer. Either fully provided it free of cost to you or an 85% subsidy (you pay 15% of premiums) are the most common. These are usually good plans in that they cover nearly everything and are more cost effective since the risk is spread across the entire working portion of the university. 
 
When you receive medical care, you'll incur any costs not covered by the insurance. Certain services like doctor visits are usually paid for by what is called a "co-pay," which is a small flat fee you pay for each visit. The insurance company covers the rest of the cost. Depending on the insurance plan and type of doctor, these can be $5-$100. Under our new healthcare law, several types of preventative doctor visits must be provided free of cost: alcohol abuse counseling, aspirin for people of a certain age, blood pressure screening, cholesterol screening, colorectal cancer screen above age 50, depression screening, diabetes screening if blood pressure is high, diet counseling if you are thought to have risk of obesity-induced disease, HIV screening, immunizations, obesity screening and counseling, sexually transmitted disease testing, and interventions for quitting tobacco use.
 
The costs for procedures and how you are expected to participate can vary. You start with what is called a deductible. You pay almost all costs (other than certain flat charges like the doctor visit co-payment and free preventative services) until you reach the deductible amount. So if you have a $500 deductible and you have a mole removed for $1000, you know you will have to pay at least $500 of it. After you have met your deductible, the amount of coverage provided by insurance varies. Generally speaking, insurance plans will cover 90%, 80%, or 70% of costs at this point. So-called "catastrophic plans" will cover even less. A new part of the law requires for money you pay for drugs to count against the deductible, since this was not the case before. Drug costs vary by drug, but generally speaking a plan will have several tiers -- preferred generics, nonpreferred generics, preferred name-brands, nonpreferred name-brands, and uncovered. Preferred generics (drugs that are old enough that they are no longer patented by the original pharmaceutical company) will often be free or just $5 or $10. The costs on others can vary widely.
 
Another provision of our new law is a yearly maximum out of pocket costs, which sets a limit of how much you have to pay for all medical costs other than the monthly premiums and co-payments. This is set at roughly 10% of your income. If this is the case for your plan, if you pay $1500 - say, $500 from deductible and the other $1000 on prescription drugs and other procedures that your insurance helped cover - then the insurance must cover 100% of costs from there forward. All of this resets at year's end. It is meant to prevent you from losing all of your money due to an ongoing problem. There is no maximum amount for the insurance to cover -- a new part of the law. This means there is no limit to how much the insurance company may have to spend on your healthcare (in the past, companies would cut you off after a predetermined amount, at which point you were no different than somebody without insurance). Foreign nationals are eligible for insurance and if it isn't provided by the school, you are allowed to buy it along with federal assistance as a student. 
 
Other insurance to consider:
 
Dental insurance may be useful and is usually inexpensive. $20/month would give you a great dental plan that would make trips to the dentist less expensive and guard you against costly procedures. Some of these plans hardly do anything to help save you money while others can be great if you have something come up.
 
Vision insurance is the least common of health-related insurance and probably isn't necessary for a graduate student unless you have particular needs or it is provided by your school (dental and vision are not the standard for graduate student compensation). Seeing an eye doctor can be expensive, but not prohibitively so under most circumstances. A cheap doctor visit may be $100-$150 if you need contacts and the contacts will probably cost you $100-$200 per year if you do not have vision insurance.
 
If you own a home, you'll need homeowner's insurance. I doubt you'll own one. If you rent, that is the landlord's problem.
 
If you wish to drive, you must have car insurance. You will lose your right to drive if you do not have car insurance. The prices and coverage can vary widely, but each state will have a minimum of liability coverage. Without much of an American driving record, I am guessing that you will assessed as a fairly high risk and will pay more than the average person your age.

I was just reading this thread because I find government paperwork so confusing. I just filled out all of the paperwork to get paid with my fellowship, and even though I'm an American citizen and I've filled these same forms out with every new job, I turn into a babbling idiot once I get them in my hands. I maintain that they are confusing for a REASON. America loves to tax. If you know what you are doing and fill stuff out correctly, then they have to tax you less. (Or give you a big refund back in April). So what's the solution? Make it confusing so people just give up!

(OK, so maybe that was a bit dramatic, but I think there is some truth to it).

Anyhow, the point to this is not to get too frustrated because even Americans are confused by America's paperwork. :-) You'll be fine.

I'm in a similar situation -- my wife and I were worried that she wouldn't be able to work in the US until we found out about the J1 visa a few months ago. This is what I know from talking to International Student Offices and other F-1 and J-1 students.

1. One school told me that they can't actually tell me what kind of visa I'd get because each case is different and they don't get the details until I accept the school's offer. However, they said that the basic requirement is that the majority of the funds used to support the J-1 (me) and the J-2 (spouse) should NOT come from personal or family funds. They also said that they are authorized to issue the DS-2019 which I use to apply to US Immigration for a J-1 visa. So, it's up to US Immigration, not the school, what visa we get.

2. It's not clear ANYWHERE how much funding can come out of personal funds. Is 50% fellowship supported enough? Or do we need, say 75% level. What about tuition waivers, do they count as non-personal fund support? And does income from TA/RAships count as University support, or personal income?

3. I'm also Canadian so I applied to NSERC...would a PGS D be enough for J-1 status? By the way, I also applied to the Fulbright Traditional Student Award (15,000 USD for 9 months, non renewable), and part of that award is a J-1 visa. I checked with the Fulbright people, although the grant is only for 9 months, I will be able to keep J-1 status for the whole degree. NSERC PGS D is more funding than Fulbright, so maybe it will be enough too! (Assuming I even get either award)

4. I know several people who are on F-1 visas because they were unable to get a J-1 visa. Their spouses (F-2) are thus not able to work. I know some schools have "International Spouses Clubs" to support these spouses. I am not sure why these F-1 visa holders did not end up getting J-1 visas though.

So after that, it seemed pretty dismal! But a prof at my school had a student go through the same process a few years ago and he got a J-1 visa! He gave me more details:

5. University support due to TA and RA ships are indeed enough for J-1 status (he was funded by a TAship and a tuition waiver). Fellowships are even better! J-1 and J-2 visa must be covered under health insurance. Universities will generally assume you want a F-1 visa so he says to be sure to tell them you want a J-1 visa right away so there is no lost time.

6. He also says that if you do your first post doc in the US and it starts within 30 days of the end of your J-1 visa, you are eligible for an additional 3 year extension on J-1 status for post doc training. He recently graduated and is currently doing this now.

7. J-2 work isn't as simple though. This is what he wrote to me: "You'll need to write a letter explaining your situation and setting out your budget. The idea is that the J-2 is not allowed to support the J-1 financially, *at all*. All of your spouse's income is supposed to go to "cultural and recreational activities"." His wife got work authorization in 2009, he says.

Based on my experience asking people in departments that have accepted me:

8. Most people don't really know the visa process! Some will tell you that a J-1 visa is for "visitors or exchange students" only, because that's the name of the J-1 visa. But this is not true! Usually post-docs get J-1s and students get F-1s so that might be another source of confusion. But I still encourage you to ask the people at schools that accepted you, mostly to let them know that this is a concern for you. They are all usually glad to help and will set you up to talk to other students in the department who have done the same, or a staff member responsible for these matters, or get you in touch with someone from the University who knows what to do!

And here's a link to an official page: http://j1visa.state....ersity-student/ (but has lots of vague information!)

9. When I try to find the skills list that require home residency, all I found was this: http://travel.state....types_4514.html (2009). In this list, Canada is not listed, which means we don't have to go back. I don't know if there is an update since 2009 though. I didn't look too much further into it because I plan to go back anyways.

Finally, about whether or not being married is required:

10. I found this definition:

from http://travel.state....ssary_1363.html . It's vague, yet again. In Canada, common-law couples get all the same benefits as married couples so it is probably okay, but you should really check this! Again, I didn't look into this too much further since it didn't apply to me.

I hope all this was helpful, it's basically the results of the last 3-4 months of worried research! Some days, it felt like everything was going to work out and others it felt hopeless. But I am now optimistic about it all.

Good luck!!

Thanks everyone for your input.  Let the paperwork begin!

Hi there,
 
We were in a very similar situation, except we're from Canada and my wife did not have as much of a "professional" job as yours did. The whole process was a lot of paperwork and required a good amount of time but everything worked out pretty well! I assume you guys got the J-1/J-2 thing worked out and I'll tell you about our experience getting EAD (Employment Authorization...Document?) for my wife!
 
We both arrived in the US in Sept 2012. When I checked in at my school's international office, I asked about the process for applying for EAD for my wife. They gave us a large checklist of things to include and forms to fill out. You will need things like your marriage certificate (even though you probably had to provide that to get her J-2 status in the first place!) as well as copies of your DS-2019, Passports, etc. You will also have to write a letter to US Immigration explaining why your wife needs employment. Here is a slightly tricky part: You have to include a budget breakdown that shows that your stipend alone is enough to meet all your necessary expenses (rent, food, health care) but not enough for extra stuff (car, recreation, etc.) This is super strange because you need to be making the right amount -- if your PhD stipend is too low or too high, your wife can't work. In practice, it's not really a big deal because if your stipend was not enough to meet your expenses, then you would not have been approved for J-1 status in the first place. This is also why your wife can't work if your own stipend isn't high enough (they don't want J-1 students being supported by J-2 work). There's usually a form letter that your school will provide for you and you will just fill in the blanks. You also have to pay $380.
 
We got all this together and submitted the application for EAD in October 2012. The school checked over our package before we sent it. It takes about 3 months for them to process it and we had to provide extra info because my school forgot to tell us about the marriage certificate ahead of time. So, we had to submit that during December 2012. My wife was approved for the EAD in January 2013 and she got her EAD card a few weeks after. The school had told us that it's up to US Immigration's discretion to decide how long the EAD is approved for. Some people are approved for only 1 year but my wife's EAD is valid until 2017, or my J-1 status ends, whatever comes first. She can renew it if I end up staying here longer -- she would just resubmit all the above again about 3-6 months before EAD expires.
 
After you get a EAD, you can apply for a Social Security Number (SSN). At this point, the J-2 person has way more employment rights than the J-1 person. J-1s are only allowed to work on campus and our SSN will reflect that. The J-2 with EAD will get a SSN that allows them to work anywhere, with pretty much no more limitations than a regular American (except that the EAD will eventually expire). It took about 3 months for my wife to find a job, but I think that was mostly due to the lack of opportunities in the place we're living, not because she was a non-American.
 
I don't think companies will be reluctant to hire someone who is on J-2 EAD because of the "temporary" nature. Americans move around all the time anyways -- for example spouses of American grad students are just as temporary as a spouse of a foreign grad student. Also, your PhD program will probably be something like 5+ years. In this day and age, staying in one place for more than 5 years is pretty much permanent! 
 
Finally, there are laws against employment discrimination based "source of employment eligibility". They can't choose to not hire someone because they got permission to work as a J-2 status instead of e.g. being American. Of course, shady employers can find ways around this, but it's just the way it is, I guess? It's not like you can really hide the fact that you're from somewhere else because your resume would show all your experiences being in another country! In reality, I think most employers don't even know all the details of whether or not you're allowed to work -- my wife didn't go into the details of what her J-2 status / EAD means in her applications. When she started work, she had to provide her SSN of course, and also show the employer her valid EAD card along with it. She would file taxes as a Non-Resident Alien, but other than that, I think she is in her employer's system as any other employee, since they really only care about the SSN.

I agree. I know things can happen. But from what I've gathered from the OP's 9 posts (most of which were on the topic of fitness in different threads), she's talked about how she used to be big into fitness but isn't into it anymore and about her favorite pizza places. I don't know her story. I know most people can at least get a little better. If she can only walk 20-30 steps at a time now, I'm assuming with hard work she could walk more. It seems like she's not interested in putting in the work. I may be way off and be a total asshole. She has a problem with people who are big into fitness, but there's a difference between not being interested in fitness and not being able to walk more than 20 steps at a time. This isn't about fake tans and tank tops anymore--it's about life and death. 

I do the same as bsharpe29 in the very rare cases where the material I am reading is not in PDF form (I guess I'm lucky that everything in my field is PDF, more or less). I use Mendeley and I enter these books into my repository/library as well (so that I get automated referencing/bibliography). Mendeley also allows me to enter things in a "notes" field for every entry, not just annotating PDFs so I also type up a few key points for each item. This way, when I search my electronic Mendeley database, I am effectively able to search my handwritten notes too. 
 
In my field, most useful books are actually a collection of lengthy and influential review papers so they are also usually available as PDFs too. But in some cases, it's worth it to actually purchase the book and when I have the actual book, I just write in the margins themselves. 
 
Just to be complete, there are some cases where I might also choose to scan important articles that are old (and not available online) from a library's copy of the journal issue!

Sigaba, it's rather funny that you chose to post that in a thread that has generated some really great replies.

Rather than assuming that the OP didn't read any past posts and then hijacking their thread, maybe you should create your own post where this topic can be discussed.

Also, thanks to juilletmercredi and Cookie Monster and TakeruK, those were really helpful posts!

I was 21 when I started my master's degree, so I can relate to being the youngest person in a batch. I don't know how much use my advice may be, as a master's, rather than Ph.D. student, but I'll try anyway. First of all, congratulations on your acceptances. In my opinion, your age won't make a difference. It obviously didn't to the admissions commitees. Also, based on my experience, I don't think your social interactions with your peers would be altered at all due to your age. I imagine most people start their Ph.D. from 22-25 years of age, and it's not like you're 16 or something.

I see there have already been very thorough posts made in reply to your questions, so a lot of what I am about to say may be repetitive, but here goes.

Selecting a research topic: One suggestion is to try and choose a research topic which has reasonably wide appeal in the field that you intend to pursue your career in. You don't have to pursue a career in whatever you do your dissertation research on, but obviously it would be great when you apply for jobs if your dissertation fits with what your potential employers do. You have time to think about what you want to do after your Ph.D., whether you want to pursue academia or industry, etc., but try to give it a bit of thought.You don't want to pigeonhole yourself by working on an obscure topic which would be appreciated by only a few specialists in the field, and thus limit your job prospects. Picking a research project which would be of significant interest or importance to the field will also help in the short-term, as you'll have a wider pool of professors to choose from to comprise your dissertation committee. Don't be like me, doing a basic molecular biology thesis project despite being an engineering student, and having to scramble to find committee members from my department who have at least passing interest in what I do. Another very important thing is to select a doable project. It's easy to pick the most challenging project, thinking you have so much time to work on it, only to get inconclusive results and find yourself scrambling at the end. Even the best planned project may look great on paper, but when you actually go around to doing it, you can get all sorts of setbacks you had never foreseen. For example, stuff which had been working before can inexplicably stop working, such as genomic DNA purification kits, molecular cloning, and sequencing reactions (drawing from my own experience). You can find yourself spending a lot of time on troubleshooting simple problems for even the best thought-out projects, so don't stress yourself out by being too ambitious in your project choice. Obviously you don't want to do pedestrian, barely original research, but strike a balance. A possible approach would be to pick a high-risk, high-reward topic, but have a less glamorous, "safety net" project as backup. This is what developmental biologist Leonard Zon of Harvard advises his graduate students and post-doctoral researchers. I'm not saying don't pick an interesting project or be afraid of challenges, but be realistic as to what you can accomplish in the timeframe that you have, and have a Plan B if possible. And of course, the main thing is to choose a research topic which you have a passion for; you will likely be spending the next 4-6 years of your life working on this. If you will be doing lab work, laboratory rotations will be extremely important in this process. Three to four weeks of working in a lab will give you a sense of what life would be like working in a particular field or subfield.

Selecting an advisor: It goes without saying, but pick an advisor whom you can get along well with. Make sure it is a person you feel like you can communicate candidly with, and who will be candid with you. Again, you'll find out about the personalities and expectations of potential advisors during laboratory rotations. Some advisors expect you to be in the lab at certain times, some advisors could care less when you show up, as long as you get the work done. Some advisors are very hand-on, will provide a lot of advice and suggestions, others are more laissez-faire, and will give you a lot of autonomy. Think about whether you want a lot of flexibility in doing your project, or whether you want to be in a more structured environment. In general, established professors, who often have large labs, tend to let students sink or swim on their own; newer professors, who often have smaller labs, are probably more invested in your success or failure. On the other hand, well-established professors tend to have more resources and funding, and their recommendation will carry a bit more weight when you apply for post-doctoral positions. Also, one thing I would like to say is, don't be afraid to let your opinion be heard. Don't just agree with everything your advisor says. He or she may be the most eminent person in the field, but if you have a disagreement over how an experiment should be done, for example, make sure you voice your concerns.

Selecting a dissertation committee: I've only had experience in selecting a master's thesis committee, but I imagine it would translate to a selecting dissertation committee as well. It's important to select committee members who work well together. As in any workplace, there are people who get along well, and those that don't, so discuss your intended committee composition with your advisor before reaching out to potential committee members. I've personally not had to deal with any personality clashes with my committee members, but I would still say it's something to keep in mind. Also, try to include professors who are prominent in your field of interest. Don't think that a professor is too famous or too important to serve on your dissertation committee. I've heard that one physics Ph.D. student was hesitant to ask the eminent Richard Feynman to serve on his committee, but when he did ask, Feynman readily agreed. Apparently this was the first time someone had ever asked Feynman, because all the students were afraid to thus far. Imagine getting a job recommendation from the Feynman of your field! Having said that, make sure that your committee members are there for a valid reason; select committee members primarily based on the skills and expertise that they bring to the table. If you are doing an epigenetics study, it's far better that you pick the lesser-known expert in chromatin remodeling rather than the world-renowned leader in gold nanoparticles, to use an extreme example.

Interacting with faculty: Obviously, it is important that you should try and build strong relationships with the professors in your department. I'm sure you must have been good at that as an undergraduate, since you would have gotten strong recommendations for graduate school, so what I say may be superfluous to your requirements. I think it's more important, but at the same time easier, to interact with your professors in graduate school. In undergraduate, your main avenue for interaction is through office hours, and your grade in their class is mainly what shapes the professor's impression of you. In graduate school, you'll get to go through laboratory rotations with different professors, and the classes will be much more of the seminar variety, where you interact directly, discussing primary literature with the instructor and your classmates. In one of my graduate seminar courses,(headed by the DGS for the program), I, along with some other people, actively contributed to the class discussion throughout the semester. Others were mostly silent throughout, basically just showing up just for attendance. It didn't affect their grade, but the DGS expressed his disappointment that some people did not seem to show interest in the field that they had ostensibly chosen to pursue for their career. That's obviously not the best way to kick things off in a program you are planning to spend the next few years in. If you have strong relationships with your professors, when the time comes to pick your dissertation committee, get job recommendations, etc. it will be much easier.

Graduate work and studies: DO NOT feel that you have to give your dog away. I know plenty of Ph.D. students with dogs, and they do manage to find the time to spend with their pets. However, based on my experience, you'll have to be a bit flexible at times when it comes to your research, being prepared to work on nights or weekends if necessary. This is especially true if you'll be working in a lab. There will be periods where you need to get a lot of stuff done in a short period of time, but there will also be relative lulls, so be prepared to adjust your schedule accordingly. But you don't have to be in the lab 24/7. The most important factor is your time management. If you are organized and plan ahead, there's no reason why you can't do your research mostly in a 9-5 timespan. Some people do that, others, like me, are haphazard, and come at random times in the night to get work done. So definitely, as long as you manage time well, your life won't be swallowed up by research, and you can devote the time that you need to your dog. As far as coursework, I don't think you need to worry about it occupying an inordinate amount of time. The courses will be more advanced, but since you have been accepted into multiple Ph.D. programs, you are obviously smart enough and talented enough to handle it. The courses will be much more of the seminar-type, involving discussions of primary literature, and your exams will be testing your critical thinking more than requiring you to cough up book knowledge. You will have to do a ton of reading of journal articles for both your research and many of your courses, which of course can be done at home. It might take a bit of getting used to at first, especially since many articles are not exactly lucidly written. Unless you do absolutely atrociously in a course, you'll get A's and B's in your courses, so don't stress about grades too much. You're obviously intelligent, so as long as you put in an honest effort, you'll get your just reward; you don't have to put in superhuman time and effort to get good grades in your coursework.

Non-academic life: The following advice is not stuff which I follow myself (wish I did), but I think it is valid nonetheless. Do not let your graduate work consume your life. Yes, you will have to spend a lot of time and effort on your research and courses, but set a limit. Do not let it prevent you from having a social life, spending time with your dog, etc. If you are someone who wants to have the weekend off, manage your time wisely, as I said before. But if you do find yourself having to spend inordinate amounts of time, just stop, take a step back, and make sure you get your time off. Ph.D. is a marathon, not a sprint, so it's much more important to stay mentally fresh, both for your own sake, and the quality of work that you do. I don't have much of a social life, but that's not because I can't find the time; I'm just simply an insular person. I know Ph.D. students, and they do manage to have time to do stuff, like play intramural sports, spend time with friends, etc. Unlike in undergraduate, where you are focused on coursework, and your schedule is much more rigid, in graduate school, your time is much more flexible; you can make decisions on how to use your time, so you can structure it such that you can have a social life. Just be careful not to procrastinate, because that can come back to bite you. When it comes to friends, I suspect you will make good friends in your cohort, because it is a small group, and they will be going through many of the same experiences that you will be. You can also meet graduate students in other departments, often through mixers and events hosted by your graduate student organization. If you are into sports, you can also make new friends by meeting other people if you play your basketball, tennis, etc. at your school recreation center. And again, your age will definitely not be a problem when making friends, having a social life, etc.


This is about all I have for now, and if I think of anything else I feel is important, I'll post again. Best of luck with graduate school this fall!

This happened to me at another school. My advisor told me to "accept" for the College but that the department knew I would not really come unless/until they came up with an attractive funding package and unless I did not accept an offer from another school. The advisor could not "hunt" for funding for me in the College until I "accepted" the offer of the College. So, I "accepted" the offer from the College but emailed my advisor and the department chair that my acceptance was provisional until a funding offer was made and until I received notification from other schools as I was doing a national search. The professors knew what was going on, and it is hoops jumping. Not all schools do this, so be careful not to offend people by appearing double-faced. I would suggest you see what your advisor recommends and be totally up front with her/him.

Yay!! So happy I finally get to post something on this thread! I love reading everyone's stories. Mine is kinda boring, but that's how it goes!
 
I had just picked my son up from school and was stopping home for just a few minutes before taking him to his friend's house for a playdate. I got on the computer to print something, and there it was!!
 
I know - YAWN, right? They can't all be gems. But this one is mine...

I was attending services on Ash Wednesday while out of town on a business trip.  Once services concluded I headed to my car and checked my email.  There it was…the decision email I had been waiting for!  I called my boyfriend and asked him to open the email and let me know the outcome.  
 
After fumbling through usernames, passwords and "where do I click now?" he found the decision.  While I was muttering that "I learned so much going through the application process….it's OK if I didn't get accepted" he stopped me and said, "Well, you're going to be disappointed…because you got in!"  After almost taking out his eardrum with screams of joy I hightailed it back into the church to offer up a prayer of thanks and gratitude.  Moral of the story….sometimes you really do get what you pray for!