jujubea

you guys..... i think our family has made a decision................

In my sticky case (rendered in detail above), is there any reason to wait to notify the schools of my decision? We have decided 100%, but is there any reason I should not yet turn down the others? In case of .. I don't know what, emergency? But I can't imagine what kind of emergency...

She's amazing! Are you hoping to work in the REM lab or do Cog Sci stuff at all?

How exciting! Wish you luck. Who's your POI?

Pretty impressive list. Any kids or SO to consider?

Very helpful - thanks! Thanks also for the Duolingo reference... I can already say "the girl is eating an apple"

Oh, also, be very wary. Good/great elementary schools are relatively easy to find. But if you plan on staying in the area past elementary, you need to look at middle schools, which are harder to find, and high schools, which are even harder to find. Unless you live in and around Boulder where there are tons of 9 and 10 rated HS's!

For ashie and the OP: consider yourselves darn lucky. Everywhere, nearly EVerywhere in the US is less expensive to live than the Bay Area. I have the opposite problem. I currently live in a very low cost of living area, and am looking at relocating with three kids to coastal CA.... Our options for housing include cardboard boxes, aluminum roofed shanties, or a home that's a 90-minute commute, each way, to my program. Woohoo...! Anyway you're NOT crazy, it IS hard, but I believe we CAN do it! Especially if you're driven, loving, and have some wits about you. Good luck!!!

One of the schools in question has a special "French for Grad Students" class specifically for this type of student. In the description it says the focus is on translation, grammar, and reading comprehension, and class is twice a week!

Jpb and Merivo have you guys heard anything yet??? I got my official acceptance (couple weeks ago) and official funding offer (last week). You must be hearing soon! I wish I had followed this thread more closely - I thought there was no way I would be getting into UCSB with decent funding (also the ONLY religious studies program I applied to)... So I just assumed I'd be a Comm person ... Until last week!!! No decision yet though... Almost, almost!

I can't say!!! That's like pulling the trigger!!!!!

I am curious about some of the traditional grad programs which require proficiency in French or German and what the route to proficiency looks like. This is for secondary research language study, NOT content or topical study (for instance if you were a French culture major then of course you'd learn French.. Which might be different than what I'm talking about). If you have zero fr or gr, do you take classes? If so, are they like typical language classes, many times a week, combining speaking, reading, listening, writing? Or is it just reading proficiency? Or Is it independent study? Or Are you just expected to become proficient on your own? Does it vary by program? What are your experiences? Thanks!!!

I think I have decided, but afraid to pull the trigger!!!

My visits helped sooooo much. I'd say, after you get funding info, if you're struggling to decide, then def visit. If they don't pay for you to visit, and you can afford it, I'd go check out your tops.

Thanks hippo and rising. Campus housing is not an option. We need at least three bedrooms, preferably four. Largest they have is 2. I would like to do academia, but I would also like to be sufficiently prepared for non-academia, just in case (but I also have interests in non-academic positions). As to the point about attending classes 3 days a week at school #1, I just confirmed that's fairly typical, even without trying to make it so. Point well taken, however, about the commute being a deterrent to better networking. Maybe I'll talk to them some more (or attend a pending visit day...) to see about that. I forgot to add the school #1 also offers a minimal, but additional, childcare stipend for grad students. Also I counted my fellowships incorrectly. They cover three years, assuming I do not take courses over the summer quarter. If I take summer courses, it's two years and a quarter.

Anybody else considering a commute to UCSB from Thousand Oaks, Simi Valley, Ventura areas?

I weighted my own purely subjectively... which you might think defeats the purpose of trying to quantify the data... but it actually helped. I did a weird thing: I assigned a rank-order value for each factor (1, 2, or 3, and allowed for ties), and then ALSO assigned a "score" of 1 through 10, with 10 being the absolute best possible situation in that factor. In my first calculations I included every factor, and got a rank "average" for each school, and then a score average for each school. THEN, I isolated the things that are most important to me (how many faculty I could work with, whether there are foreign language learning options - as two examples of my "most importants"), and calculated the rank and score again, using only those most important factors. It is of course terribly subjective, and I didn't actually weight anything properly, and all I used were simple mean averages ... but it still proved to be tremendously helpful. I think in part because I am considering SO MANY factors (over 30), and did so as honestly as possible. My results showed that a school I had thought was maybe my number two choice was actually a pretty distant third. The school I thought was easily third choice, actually came very close to tying with the first choice school (partly because of so many low scores/ranks on that first school for my family; that pulled it down a bunch). What I made of all this after reflecting on it, is that despite having more negative factors against it, I was somehow, for some reason, subconsciously favoring what ended up being the "last" school ... And I was also subconsciously idealizing the first-choice school to be quite a bit better of a situation than it actually is. Anyway, someone else said on here that although this type of subjective quantifying is just that: very subjective - it can still be quite useful because at the very least it will make your own subconscious (or semi-conscious) leanings more apparent. Good luck everybody Aren't we lucky to have such pain?

Hmmm, I guess it depends on which of your own strengths you want to focus on. Sometimes I like to just mull over the growing prospects or opportunities presented by each choice. These are some examples, but you probably know much better than any stranger could how each choice would help or force you to grow and in what ways. So for example, if you go to school 2, it sounds like you will be pushed more to possibly branch out into unknown territories. There are more uncertainties, but within a tolerable risk level (you can't go "wrong" .. you're already in the program). This would force you to take some chances and maybe grow a bit in that way. At the first school, it sounds like you will be pushed more to find new things in an old/familiar environment. Since you already have such familiarity, you will be forced to find things you've skimmed over before, to be grateful about and to capitalize on. You would also have a little bit more of a financial challenge, which can help you grow in that way, too.

Word on that. My "list" has been turned around, twisted upside down, crushed, inflated... All three are the best, the worst, and every order and tie combination in between.

The commute really is a big deal, and I still need to do some reflecting on whether it's overall worth it. One thing I need to look into is whether it'd be realistic to only come to campus three times/week. The other programs fund 3-4 years (#3), and 4+ years (#2) for the PhD. The full tuition at ABD stage is not common, and is quite worrisome considering the UC's plan to continue raising tuition rates for the next 5 years.

Yes.. Thanks.. I resigned from the Foreign Service to be with him and help raise his kids... (I would've eventually left anyway, just not so soon). I did this with the understanding we'd move for grad school in a year... We just had no idea the custody situation would be made this complicated.

Thanks Juliet - We are also dead set on not moving after my Master's, so I have to get readmitted, or wait until the kids are out of high school to continue to the PhD (not at all something I want to do; I've gotten plenty of non-school experience!). This is why #2 and #1 are more appealing than #3 in that way, because if I don't continue to the PhD with the initial programs, I have other options in the area and/or in the school. Still, the appeal of #3 is the specialty, it's a passion of mine, and would allow me to more easily go into something other than academia if needs be. Neither 1 nor 2 have this option. Still, #2 and #3 both tell me it's quite possible and likely to continue with their programs for PhD provided I haven't exhausted their resources...

It's really true. What's fortunate is to be that type of person who can and does make the most of a situation. Me and my beau have each reminded the other of that quality we both carry... and that's what we'll do. I'm just so humbled that he's even willing to consider such a difficult stretch.

Unfortunately, a big part of the custody situation is that we're moving. Courts don't award sole custody unless the other parent doesn't want the kids at all and/or is blatantly abusing them. So wherever we go, we have to get bio-mom's consent (even if she chooses to never see them!). It's ridiculous and frustrating. Also, I already delayed applying by a year (I was really close to applying last year and apparently would have gotten admitted!). The dream school does not allow deferrals. I don't know about the other two places... but in any case, our custody issue won't go away in a year, or in two years, or ever. We just have to bite the bullet and fight the fight, and THEN it will be over.