eternallyephemeral

@piglet. thank you.. I am awake enough to be responding to your post, its way way past midnight where I stay. That being said , I find you being judgemental which is what I was trying to say in my very first post. I am wide awake to know what the journey holds and what I should be doing and what not. i do appreciate and thank Eigen and Telkanuru (@piglet33: happy eh?!!) for further expanding my vision about academia and the world in general.
All your posts seems to suggest I lack what it takes. I will try my best to catch up..wish me god speed!!
 
 

Here is what I asked my POI and some of her students. You might need different things:
-Could I start reading up on things and preparing studies in the summer?
-How long do people normally take in the program?
-Do students go to conferences often?
-How is the competition for external funding?
-What is your supervisory style? How often do you meet with your students?
-Do your students have a lot of projects at different stages, or do they usually work one at a time?
-How do your students balance TAing, classes, RAships, research, and potentially teaching/internships?
-I asked a bit about going into industry, as its pretty common in my program. I talked about it more with the students though. Sometimes you don't want to go down that road with your POI.
-Do you prefer your students to work on campus? What do they normally do? Do students talk about their work with each other to get feedback/new ideas?
If you're not sure yet, you could ask what research they are working on that isn't out yet, what they're planning to do, or if they want you to come up with your first few projects independently. You could ask about collaboration with people at different schools, within the school, between their students, or across departments.
I hope some of that helps. There's probably many more things I forgot!

Your question is whether it would be a good idea to use an external service to prepare your PhD application material (which I assume is what you mean by "passing [your] PhD"; I sincerely hope you don't mean anything to do with your actual PhD work)? No, I can't imagine it would be. You need to study for and pass the tests on your own, and no one can write the statement of purpose for you or find appropriate schools for you to apply to. It may be useful at some very late point to get help with editing and final touches, especially if you are not a native speaker, but this is way down the line and you'd still have to do the bulk of the work yourself before you get to that stage. 

Hey litzzie - first of all, congrats on your offer! 
Obviously, as I'm sure you know, none of us can tell you what to do one way or the other - but as a Canadian studying abroad in the UK I'm happy to offer up my two cents. I was admitted to my program with a partial scholarship that covered tuition and fees and had to decide whether I was willing to take the risk and try to pull in living costs from other grants, bursaries, and scholarships as I went along. 
I was in love with the program and it was a great opportunity so I took the risk, moved overseas and started applying for scholarships. Though I'm happy with the choice I made in all honesty it's extraordinarily stressful to be in this position. Constantly having to pinch pennies and stretch one funding source to meet the next takes away from energy that could be focused on your research if you have a full ride scholarship or fellowship. But I had half-funding guaranteed at least, and I can only imagine that having a husband and child in tow would multiply this stress. You also need to consider what you would do if you accepted the offer and then no funding sources came through. Would you have to drop out? To do this last minute might burn your bridges with the school if you wanted to try and reapply again next year for a fellowship. 
In the end you have to decide whether its a risk you want - and can afford - to take, and be prepared for many hours of money stress. I totally sympathize if you do want to take the plunge - we're all mad for research  but if this sounds daunting I'd urge you to consider reapplying again next year instead. Best of luck! 

Personally, I'd deal with this by not dealing with it...at least right now. 
Your friend is upset. You are upset and rather stressed. Even if you apologise to her, you still have several more months where writing is your priority and will be taking up most of your time. 
I'd send her a short message saying (i) you are sorry that she's unhappy (ii) you appreciate her as a friend and know that you've not been able to give her your full attention (iii) right now you need to focus on thesis writing until April and it is detracting from ALL your friendships, not just hers (iv) how about we do something nice/fun together in April once you have finished with the crazy thesis stuff? 
If she isn't conciliatory after your response...don't waste more time and energy on it. Focus on quality time with your supportive friends (if any of them can try and gently explain to BF about grad school stresses & time commitments it might be better than you getting sucked in). It might be that your friendship has run its course, or you have grown apart with your different life experiences...but you can deal with that after the thesis.  

On the one hand, they're meetings, and in any group, meetings are a part of life. You are all working (roughly) together towards a goal, and as such, having meetings to know what everyone else is doing, ask questions and offer criticisms/suggestions is needed. 
Part of this seems to be something you can work on personally- meetings, especially long, rambling pointless meetings- are a part of academic and non-academic life. They're eternal. Learn what you can do that helps you focus. Take notes. Take notes on your projects during the boring parts. 
I've generally found, however, that the more I can actually focus on being *at* the meeting, trying to pay attention and contribute, the easier they are to stomach. If everyone thinks they're a waste and tunes out, nothing ever gets better. 
For most people, these are also a very, very necessary time to learn oral communication skills. Your PI doesn't seem to give much feedback on this, though, or if they do others don't listen?
A lot of the advice depends on how senior you are in the lab, and your relationship with the PI. If you're senior enough, try giving advice to round out the "sloppy" talks. If your PI doesn't guide the meeting, and you're senior, do it yourself. 
Is it possible you're senior enough that the meetings aren't directed at you? Generally, lab meetings are to help junior members develop skills, and get critiques and suggestions on their work. If you're past that stage, you might not be getting a personal benefit. But on the flip side, it's now your responsibility to be there to help the junior members grow.

Yeah, I quite enjoy lab meetings. Your set-up sounds like more of a slog than mine, though!
Some of the reasons I like them:
Helps me keep up to date with what my colleagues are doing. From my day-to-day interactions I know if they project is going well/bad, if they're stuck on a particular problem; but I don't really see the big picture until the present their work to everyone.  Learning from others. Sometimes my PI will give feedback about an experiment design or remind the speaker "You should always..." In which case I've saved myself from making a mistake they made, or I can improve upon my approach before I need to ask anybody for advice. Or even if someone has nicely set-up slides I can copy their formats. Motivation to do work. I tend to run more experiments in the week leading up to my turn at the meeting, simply because I want to present good data. Stepping back to see the bigger picture(s). I find that the mere act of making slides helps me make sense of my (sometimes rambling) project & side-projects. I have to think about ways to present my material in a smooth narrative and spot the gaps in my project (e.g. I want to tell my audience that X proves Y, so what control experiments should I run to strengthen my argument). Learning about new papers or ideas. We always give some background on our projects (as well as doing separate literature presentations), and it gives me exposure to different subfields that I wouldn't necessarily read up on of my own accord, but I find interesting nonetheless.  From what I've seen though, lab meetings can vary in quality. If people aren't learning from the repeated presentations and what others are doing - like, they still make messy slides meeting after meeting - or if the PI isn't moderating in a productive/critical way then it can be a slog. Having a bit of time between your presentations seemed to help my lab deliver better-quality ones (after only 2-3 weeks I didn't have that many new results to present, so my presentations became sparse and repetitive). 
Don't be afraid to suggest changes to the lab meeting format! If you can frame it as a "this will make us more productive" and have back-up from multiple lab members, you may well be able to improve on the lab meetings.

The biggest factor for me was taking a leap of faith and believing in myself. I could say a lot about the common reasons, such as passion, career prospects, etc, but I had ruled out a PhD program until September of last year because I thought I couldn't do it. It would be "too hard" and stressful. Everywhere I went, all my mentors (some with masters in a field I would pursue--closely related to my field, some with PhDs in the field I am pursuing) would say "why not?" I didn't have a good enough reason to beyond "I'm scared". As I'm currently a senior in college, I looked at my friends including recent grads, and how they were applying to med, law, and PhD programs. What made them so much different, or "better" than me? I thought, if my friends could go for it, so can I. So I applied (though some people including my academic advisor were doubtful about my chances as a college senior), got 5 interviews of 7 applications. Got all 5 waitlists, and then subsequent rejections as all the spots had been filled. But one school, coincidentally my top choice, accepted me and I will be attending in the fall. I'm still in shock and will probably randomly break out in tears someday soon. Me, the scared undergrad who thought they couldn't hack a PhD program, will soon be a doctoral student. I'm glad I took the plunge, and all the app fees and flight costs were worth it, because now I don't have to wonder "what if". I went through a huge personal transformation during this last year of college that was/is at times emotionally trying. 
The only advice for others who are thinking about a PhD -- be realistic about the challenges a PhD program can put in your path, but believe in yourself first and foremost. 

I think you're overly concerned with stepping on people's toes. Once you've been admitted with funding, they are the ones trying to recruit you and convince you that it's the right place for you to do your PhD. So, for the first school, if you really can't choose, ask if you can speak with multiple faculty and have a clear reason for each (one which draws on your research interests). 

But...he is. You want a PhD and he's made it clear that he's not totally behind that in your situation and he would only take you for an MA, at least initially. He's also voiced the concern that you are not committed to your research. Yes, he made the concern obliquely - by referencing his other students and your hobbies - but that doesn't make the expression any less real. He's also consistently asking you if you are sure you want to join his group and talking negatively about his funding. These are ALL of the signs of someone trying to dissuade you from joining his group.
You say that you've already established that your hobbies are a non-issue, but your first post doesn't make it sound that way ("because I have hobbies, he's worried that'll take up my time...and I've already told him it won't happen, yet he still wants me to take some time and think about it.") The last part of that statement signals to me that he doesn't believe you for whatever reason. It does, indeed, sound like the PI cares if you have hobbies.
I think this is, at the very least, a PI making it very clear that he is not your strongest advocate or supporter. You want a PI that believes in your abilities and skills and isn't constantly questioning you from the outset. Because of that, it doesn't really seem like this person is a great fit for you at this time. Best case scenario you have to constantly worry about proving yourself in the first 2 years of your relationship rather than knowing that this is someone who has wanted to sponsor and support you from the outset. And there are many things that can go wrong: if he has high standards and is easily disappointed (which frankly sounds like the case), then you may find him unpleasable.


Well, it's not a great plan at least. It kind of depends on the terms of the agreement.
Generally speaking you shouldn't enter a PhD program without full funding to take you through at least the coursework phase (and ideally through the whole thing). Don't just worry about it later - that can end you up in some tremendous debt that you won't be able to repay and that will hobble the beginning of your career. Leaving with a master's from a PhD program to go somewhere else is logistically and emotionally more difficult than most people imagine. You'll need your advisor's support, for one.

That said, it sounds like he's only taking you for an MA program, in which case your plan isn't so bad on face. Having one year completely covered and only having to pay for the second year, with the understanding that you are only there for the MA and will apply to the PhD program like anyone else (including considering other programs) isn't such a bad thing - in fact, that's pretty good for the MA.
But that's again ignoring the fact that this professor doesn't really sound like he wants to advise you at all.

@Ignis was trying to help you interpret the situation, which is exactly what you asked for in your original post. Instead of listening to his/her interpretation you became argumentative and went on to say that you have, "pretty much made up your mind". Why bother posting, if you aren't willing to listen to other people's advice and you have already made up your mind?
 

There are different ways to respond to this situation. Based on what you said I think it is best to let your POI know that you have an offer but that the school you are waiting on is your top choice and why. Whether you want to do the full disclosure route (give the name of the other school you have an offer from) depends on if you feel comfortable doing so and if that school is a prestigious program. With that being said, not saying where your offer is from shouldn't affect their decision making. 
Good luck!

If it is your top choice program, I would encourage you to be very transparent about that with them. I would probably steer away from lying- if you're looking for a research-oriented career, there is a good chance that you could run into that POI at conferences or other professional settings, an you wouldn't want to develop a reputation for lying. My guess would be that they don't want to make too many offers that get turned down, so they're trying to feel out your interest in them. 

Congratulations on your acceptances! I agree with decclynn in all of the things they mentioned to consider. A flashy R1 school may sound good on a CV, but if you aren't happy with the faculty/ location/ general atmosphere, then you may regret choosing the R1 school. Don't be afraid to ask the students or your POIs more questions. Were you able to visit the schools in person?

I personally turned down an offer from an R1 university. I think it depends on your training objectives, the career you ultimately want, and how well the program/faculty/students fit with you. It's not all about the "R1 reputation" in my opinion.

Hey!  I have a similar story, so I feel ya!  I am kind of switching from clinical to I/O, and I think some faculty members can be skeptical about the switch, especially if you've gone on to complete a masters (I've done the same).  I also have research experience; again, not in I/O.
I'm on a few waitlists, but I don't have anything concrete yet.  The wait is horrible.  But I am on the waitlist to UConn, so I can give you at least some information on that.
So perhaps my advice is try to take the steps that I am trying to take (or take with a grain of salt).
What I really had to do was to emphasize my interest in I/O and explain my switch in my personal statement.  For instance, my research interests haven't really changed, but how it is applied has.  PM me if you want more specifics on that.
I contacted all of my POI before applying, so I could gauge how receptive they would be of my application and the switch.
I know that I/O is a little more quant heavy field.  I feel like my quant score is low.  I would image that some schools may have official or unofficial cutoffs, which may mean that you are/are not on their radar, depending on their cutoff.  I'd like my quant score to be higher; so if I don't get in this round, I will probably try to get that up.
I am also trying to find more I/O experiences, especially research experiences.  PhD programs seem to be scientist/practitioner, so they rate research as pretty important.  If you can't get research experience, maybe try for more applied experiences, like the internship.  Try to tie that back into your research interests in you personal statement.
If you can really match a faculty member on research interests and have good research questions, you may fare well after you get past initial hurtles (GRE, GPA, explaining the switch).  Some faculty have been really receptive to me, despite the switch, because I can easily explain how I got where I am and what I'm interested in.
 
Hope this helps and good luck!

Seconding what Applicant38 said -- it sounds like you could get the knowledge and information you need just from reading independently. Cialdini is a good person to read, as are books by folks like Dan Ariely, Richard Thaler, and Danny Kahneman. The behavioral economics and I/O literatures would be good to familiarize yourself with generally.

I am not personally familiar with those programs. My advice here is more broadly focused. To be honest, it doesn't sound like a degree in psychology is what you want. If you are not interested in a solid understanding of psychology, a general psychology MS is the furthest thing from what you want. Given your marketing career, it sounds to me that you might be best served just taking some non-degree seeking classes in social psychology that talk about persuasion techniques. In fact, if you are only interested in having the knowledge (as opposed to the degree), just read some stuff by Robert Cialdini. I know he is a big name in social persuasion research. Beyond that, maybe some marketing classes would be more up your alley (assuming you did not take such courses in your biochem degree). If you really want a degree in psychology, then you will have to take some foundation courses I would assume. But positive and general psychology degrees as definitely not what you are looking for it seems. 

I am past the Craigslist Furniture stage of my life so I've already invested in real furniture and real art. I can't just throw out a $2000 sofa and a $1000 painting.

The "ideal" funding package looks different depending on what your priorities are. I mean, fellowships are usually best because they often don't have a requirement to work for your stipend (like you would for an assistantship). If you are not interested in pursuing a career in academia, then the package you are considering is definitely not settling. It's one of the better offers you could get! However, if you are interested in research as a career, I would worry about attending a program with no grant money and no RA positions just because I would be concerned about research opportunities. If you find out that that is not a concern, I would say your offer is very good and close to ideal for your situation. There is no one-size-fits-all ideals when it comes to picking a grad program. If you like the program, I wouldn't go through the entire application process again just because you want funding from a different source (especially if your package is sufficient to meet your needs). Good luck deciding! 

Here is what I asked my POI and some of her students. You might need different things:
-Could I start reading up on things and preparing studies in the summer?
-How long do people normally take in the program?
-Do students go to conferences often?
-How is the competition for external funding?
-What is your supervisory style? How often do you meet with your students?
-Do your students have a lot of projects at different stages, or do they usually work one at a time?
-How do your students balance TAing, classes, RAships, research, and potentially teaching/internships?
-I asked a bit about going into industry, as its pretty common in my program. I talked about it more with the students though. Sometimes you don't want to go down that road with your POI.
-Do you prefer your students to work on campus? What do they normally do? Do students talk about their work with each other to get feedback/new ideas?
If you're not sure yet, you could ask what research they are working on that isn't out yet, what they're planning to do, or if they want you to come up with your first few projects independently. You could ask about collaboration with people at different schools, within the school, between their students, or across departments.
I hope some of that helps. There's probably many more things I forgot!

I think there is a time to "follow your dreams" and there is a time to get realistic.  I am not sure how old you are currently - but you might be phasing into the time to get realistic part of your life especially given that your employment is not too stable at the moment and I assuming that you don't have a spouse/significant other/family member that is going to financially support you for the rest of your life.  
Since there are a lot of jobs that you find interesting from your original post - "philosophy, teaching/education, counseling, social work, or educational counseling" -- I would start exploring the ones where there are more jobs available and are going to give you a high enough salary to meet your standard of living (whatever that is). Based on that, I would rule out philosophy professor given that the market is terrible and a philosophy PhD is long - 5+ years.  Also philosophy professors don't just teach - they primarily do research, sit on committees, mentor students, etc.  Instead, I would look into K-12 teaching or school counseling - both are jobs that you can do with a master's and are much more plentiful than trying to secure a philosophy professorship.  Perhaps see if you can get a non-teaching job in a K-12 school to see if you like the environment and talk to teachers to see how they feel about their jobs.

I agree with rising_star and fuzzy that I think it's more important to decide on what you want as your goals first and then take the GRE if that is necessary for your goals. To answer your original four questions:
1. I think you are on the right track in your original post about finding out more about these potential career paths. My advice is to first continue working to get yourself in a more stable financial situation. It sounds like you have a lot of debt from your BA and I don't think seeking an advanced degree just for the sake of seeking an advanced degree is a good idea. I know this is not what you're doing, since you are doing a lot of research into what degree programs exist, so I would encourage you to continue doing that. Once you find some programs that interest you, then you can evaluate things like the cost and whether the job opportunities that come out of the degree are worth it. 
However, your first post seems to be very strongly seeking non-GRE programs, and I don't think this is a good approach to grad school. You should find the programs that provide the opportunities you want and that you decide is worth the cost. Then, you should look at the requirements and decide if you can meet them. I don't think going in the other direction is a good idea---don't just attend a program because you can get in, attend a program because it meets your needs!
2. No, the GRE itself doesn't matter in helping you get a job, it does matter to help you get into most graduate programs which can lead to better jobs.
3. In my field, there are no good schools that do not require the General GRE (for now) and there are no good schools that are online. But I know your field is different than mine, so maybe these exist in your field. I get the sense that for most graduate programs though, there are currently very few good programs that are online---most of graduate education still happens at "brick and mortar" schools because a lot of the education is the exposure and interactions you have by being "in residence" with the faculty and your colleagues. 
4. Similar to #1, I think you should do a lot more research on what careers interest you. Do you know anyone in any of the careers you're interested in? Also, I think it's worth the time to just reach out to people working in these fields where you live. Tell them that you are interested in studying to become X and if you could buy them a coffee and chat about how they got to their position and what their job is like. Some people call these "informational interviews". Many people might be too busy and say no or ignore you but that's okay---keep trying and someone will say yes. 
Also, to your latest question:
It sounds like you are searching for non-GRE programs because you are afraid of doing badly and not getting into a good school? But as I said above, most good schools will require the GRE, so I don't think this is a good line of reasoning. If you need time to prepare for the GRE then definitely take the time. To me, it sounds like you will need some time to figure out what career path you want to aim for. You may need other pre-requisites anyways (as you mentioned in your post) so if you are taking undergraduate level courses first, then I would not take the GRE until you are ready to apply to Masters or other graduate programs. Remember, the GRE scores are only valid for 5 years. Just in case you didn't already know, as an example, if you want to apply to programs starting in Fall 2018, then you would be applying during the months of November 2017 to January 2018. The General GRE is offered almost every day in major cities, but the spots do fill up fast in the fall, so I would recommend taking the exam some time in summer of the year you are applying (e.g. Summer 2017 if you are starting grad school in Fall 2018). You can take the exam about once per month so doing it early means you can retake it if necessary. Just some helpful timelines to think about once you are at the stage where you start applying to grad schools.

The most you can do is tell them a version of what you said here: reaffirm your interest in this school, but tell them you can't attend without funding. Ask for a timeline for when you might hear about funding decisions and an estimate for your chances of getting it. You might mention having other offers but still preferring this school, if there was adequate funding. Unless the other schools are pressing you to make decisions before April 15, I don't think there is much more that you can do, except wait and periodically ask for an update and tell them you are still interested. 
Independent of that, I would strongly advise you not to compare yourself to others, it's not a healthy thing to do and also not really relevant to your funding decision. Beyond that, if you are going to do it, then at least look at relevant factors. GPA and GRE are among the least important factors in admissions decisions, so I don't find it at all surprising that someone with a lower score than yours could have had a better outcome. 

Nothing yet here. Would that be an e-mail (since the confirmation that they received the application was an email) or a paper letter?
 
Also, I'm confused whether they send out only the good news now or rejections as well?