cabraloca

Hey all! Also going to Madison this Fall So exciting! And cheers to one of the best years of our lives <3 It's going to be awesome!

Hey Madison residents! Moving over the summer for grad school. What bank do y'all use?
 

Windows/Mac mostly comes down to OS and programs, honestly. 
You pay a premium for the hardware, but the OS is free and most software cheaper (from my experience). 
But yeah, I buy refurbished models and rarely upgrade them. My 2011 Air I got for $600 in 2012, and it still does everything I need. 

About your dog: I think that depends entirely on you and your program. I am in a social science program where the majority of my analysis and writing can be done from home, and I prefer to work from home or from a library (as opposed to my cube in the windowless cube farm). When I was taking classes I was generally there from 9-6 or so, but now that my coursework is finished I am rarely at the school itself. I go for meetings, seminars, interesting kinds of things and I do most of my work remotely. My time is verrry flexible, and if my building didn't prohibit it I would get a dog in a heartbeat. Another thing to keep in mind: a dog can be a great comfort when you're all stressed out over graduate school.

Advice?

Age:
-Don't feel like you have nothing to offer just because you are younger. I was 22 when I started graduate school. You got accepted to the program for a reason, and chances are you are just as equipped as any older students are to successfully complete the program, just in a different way.

-Your older classmates may be just as terrified as you. Talk to them. You have a lot in common. You are, after all, in the same place.

-You will feel like an imposter, like you don't belong, or like you are constantly behind. Or all three. It's normal. It will pass. (Well, sort of.) People of all ages go through this.

Adviser related:
-If you are lucky enough to get both research interest fit and personality fit perfect, congratulations! But sometimes, personality fit is more important than research interest fit as long as the research isn't too different. A great adviser is interested in your career development, likes you as a person, advocates for you, and wants to hear your ideas. Even if his or her research is quite different from yours, they may give you the autonomy to work on your own projects and just supervise you. A bad personality fit will drive you nuts, even if you love his or her research. Consider that when evaluating your adviser fit. (This will vary by field: research fit may be less important in the humanities, more important in the natural and physical sciences. Social sciences are somewhere in-between.)

-Don't be afraid to be straight up blunt with your adviser when it comes to asking about your progress. Ask if you are where you should be both academic program wise and getting-a-job-after-this-mess-wise.

-Be proactive. Advisers love when you draw up an agenda for your one-on-one meetings, come with talking points and progress to share, have concrete questions to ask, and have overall shown that you have been thoughtful and taken control of your own program. Of course, this won't immediately come easily to you, but in time you will work up to it. Every semester I type up my semester goals, and at the beginning of the year I type up annual goals. I show them to my adviser and we talk about whether they are too ambitious, or whether I need to revise them, and how I can meet them.

-Don't expect your adviser to actually know what courses you have to take to graduate. They will know about comprehensive exams and the dissertation, but a lot of professors don't really keep up with the course requirements, especially if their program is in flux. Get you a student handbook, and find out what you need to take. Map it out in a grid, and check off things when you finish them. Show this to your adviser every semester. You may have to explain how such and such class fills a requirement.

-Nobody loves you as much as you, except your mother. Keep this in mind as you take in advice from all sources, including your adviser. Your adviser is there to guide you, but that doesn't mean you have to do everything he says.

Studying:
-You will have to read more than you ever did before, in less time than you ever have before, and you will be expected to retain more than you ever have before. The way that you studied in undergrad may need some tweaking. Be prepared for this.

-Corollary: you may find that your methods change with age or interests or time. I preferred to study alone in college, but in grad school, I prefer to study in groups. It keeps me on task and the socialization keeps me motivated. You may find that you shift from being a more auditory learner to a visual learner or whatever.

-You will feel behind at first. This is normal.

-At some point you will realize that your professors don't actually expect you to read everything they assign you. This, of course, will vary by program, but there will be at least one class where the reading is actually impossible to do in one week. The point is to read enough that you know the major themes and can talk intelligently about them, and then pick some of the readings to really dig into and think more deeply about.

-For most programs, don't worry so much about grades. If you stay on top of your work and do what you're supposed to, you will probably get an A. How much grades matter varies from program to program. In some programs, a B is a signal that you are not up to par, and more than a few Bs will warrant a discussion with your adviser or the DGS. My program isn't like that - A, B, it's all meaningless. My adviser doesn't even know what my grades are. But at almost all programs, a C means you need to retake the course, and two Cs means you have to convince the DGS not to kick you out.

Extracurricular activity: What's that? No, seriously:
-A lot of your time will be unstructured. You will have coursework, but most grad classes meet once a week for two hours and you may have three classes. You may have meetings with your adviser every so often and some seminars or things to catch (like we have grand rounds and colloquia that are required), but a lot of time will be unstructured. However, since you have so much more work than you had in undergrad, you actually will have less free time than you had in undergrad. This may initially cause you great anxiety. It did for me. Some people love unstructured time, though. (I don't.)

-Because of this, you'll have to be planful about your non-grad school related stuff.

-TAKE TIME OFF. DO it. It's important for your mental health. However you do it doesn't matter. Some people work it like a 9-5 job. Some people take a day off per week (me) and maybe a few hours spread across the week. Some people work half days 7 days a week. However you do it, there needs to be a time when you say "f this, I'm going to the movies."

-Find your happy place, something that keeps you the you you were when you came in. I love working out. It gives me energy and I feel good. I stay healthy. I also love reading fiction, so sometimes I just curl up with a good book, work be damned. You have to give yourself permission to not think about work, at least for a couple of hours a week. You may also discover new hobbies! (I never worked out before I came to graduate school.)

-Your work will creep into all aspects of your life, if you let it. This is why I hate unstructured time. You will feel guilty for not doing something, because in graduate school, there is ALWAYS something you can do. ALWAYS. But since there will always be more work, there's no harm in putting it aside for tomorrow, as long as you don't have a deadline.

-You may need to reach outside of your cohort for a social life. None of my close friends are in my doctoral cohort. I've met master's students in my program, master's students in other programs, and I know a few non-graduate students I hang out with, too. Go to graduate student mixers. (If your university doesn't have any, organize some, if you like planning parties.) Join a student group that doesn't take up too much time. I had a doctoral acquaintance who kinda laughed at me because I joined some student groups other than the doctoral student one, and I was usually the only doctoral student in those groups, but I met some close friends (and future job contacts) and had a good time.

-DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR WANTING A LIFE OUTSIDE OF GRADUATE SCHOOL. This is paramount. This is important. You are a well-rounded, complex, multifaceted human being. NEVER feel bad for this. Everybody wants some kind of life outside of work. Yes, you may loooove your field, but that doesn't mean you want to do it all day long. Some other doctoral students, and perhaps professors, may make you feel bad about this. Don't let them. Just smile and nod. Then disappear when you need to.

Career:
-This is job preparation. Remember that from Day One. Always be looking for ways to enhance your skills. Read job ads and find out what's hot in your field, what's necessary, what's in demand. For example, in my field statistics and methods are a hot commodity, and they're not a passing fad. I happen to really like statistics and methods, so I have pursued that as a concentration of mine.

-Don't be afraid to take on volunteer work and part-time gigs that will give you skills that will be useful both inside academia and out, as long as it's not against your contract. Your adviser may be against it, but he doesn't have to know as long as it doesn't interfere with your work.

-If you want to work outside of academia - if you are even *considering* the possibility - please please definitely do the above. Even if you aren't considering it, consider the possibility that you won't get a tenure-track job out the box and that you may need to support yourself doing something else for a while. You will have to prove to employers that you have developed usable, useful skills and this is one of the easiest ways to do it. But don't overdo it - get the degree done.

-For more academic related ones - always look for opportunities to present and publish. Presentations look good on your CV. Publications look better. When you write seminar papers, wonder if you can publish them with some revision. Write your seminar papers on what you maybe think you may want to do your dissertation on. Even if you look at them three years later and think "these suck," you can at least glean some useful references and pieces from them. Discuss publication with your adviser early and often, and if you have the time and desire, seek out publication options with other professors and researchers. But if you commit to a project, COMMIT. You don't want to leave a bad impression.

-If you can afford it, occasionally go to conferences even if you aren't presenting. You can network, and you can hear some interesting talks, and you may think about new directions for your own research. You can also meet people who may tell you about jobs, money, opportunities, etc.

-Always try to get someone else to pay for conference travel before you come out of pocket. Including your adviser. Do not be shy about asking if he or she can pay. If he can't, he'll just say no. Usually the department has a travel fund for students, but often it's only if you are presenting.

-If you are interested in academia, you should get some teaching experience. There are two traditional ways to do this: TAing a course, and teaching as a sole instructor. If you can help it, I wouldn't recommend doing a sole instructor position until you are finished with coursework. Teaching takes a LOT of time to do right. You should definitely TA at least one course, and probably a few different ones. But don't overdo it, if you can help it, because again, it takes a LOT of time. More than you expect at the outset. If you are in the humanities, I think sole instructor positions are very important for nabbing jobs so when you are in the exam/ABD phase, you may want to try at least one. If your own university has none, look at adjuncting for nearby colleges, including community colleges. (I would wager that the majority of natural science/physical science students, and most social science students, have never sole taught a class before they get an assistant professor job. At least, it's not that common n my field, which straddles the social and natural sciences.)

-Always look for money. Money is awesome. If you can fund yourself you can do what you want, within reason. Your university will be thrilled, your adviser will be happy, and you can put it on your CV. It's win-win-win! Don't put yourself out of the running before anyone else has a chance to. Apply even if you think you won't get it or the odds are against you (they always are), as long as you are eligible. Apply often. Apply even if it's only $500. (That's conference travel!) Money begets money. The more awards you get, the more awards you will get. They will get bigger over time. If you are in the sciences and social sciences, you should get practice writing at least one grant. You don't have to write the whole thing, but at least get in on the process so that you can see how it's done. Grant-writing is very valuable both in and outside of graduate school.

-Revise your CV every so often. Then look and decide what you want to add to it. Then go get that thing, so you can add it.

-The career office at big universities is often not just for undergrads. I was surprised to learn that my career center offers help on CV organization and the academic job search, as well as alternative/non-academic career searches for doctoral students. In fact, there are two people whose sole purpose it is to help PhD students find nonacademic careers, and they both have PhDs. This will vary by university - some universities will have very little for grad students. Find out before you write the office off.

-It's never too early to go to seminars/workshops like "the academic job search inside and out", "creating the perfect CV," "getting the job," etc. NEVER. Often the leader will share tips that are more aimed towards early graduate students, or tidbits that are kind of too late for more advanced students to take care of. This will also help you keep a pulse on what's hot in your field. It'll help you know what lines you need to add to your CV. And they're interesting.

Other:

-Decide ahead of time what you are NOT willing to sacrifice on the altar of academia. Then stick to it.
I'm serious. If you decide that you do NOT want to sacrifice your relationship, don't. If it's your geographical mobility, don't. I mean, be realistic, and realize that there will always be trade-offs. But you have to think about what's important to you for your quality of life, and realize that there is always more to you than graduate school.

-If you don't want to be a professor, do not feel guilty about this. At all. Zero. However, you will have to do things differently than most doctoral students. Your adviser will probably never have worked outside of the academy (although this may vary depending on the field) so he may or may not be able to help you. But you have a special mission to seek out the kinds of experiences that will help you find a non-academic job. Test the waters with your adviser before you tell him this. My adviser was quite amenable to it, but that's because I told him that my goal was to still do research and policy work in my field just not at a university, AND because it's quite common in my field for doctoral students to do non-academic work. If you're in a field where it's not common (or where your professors refuse to believe it's common, or it's not supposed to be common)…well, you may be a little more on your own.

-Every so often, you will need to reflect on the reasons you came to graduate school. Sometimes, just sit and think quietly. Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you love your field? Do you need this degree to do what you want to do? Usually the answer is yes and yes, and usually you'll keep on trucking. But sometimes when the chips are down you will need to reevaluate why you put yourself through this in the first place.

-To my great dismay, depression is quite common in doctoral students. Graduate work can be isolating and stressful. Luckily your health insurance usually includes counseling sessions. TAKE THEM if you need them. Do not be ashamed. You may be surprised with who else is getting them. (I found out that everyone in my cohort, including me, was getting mental health counseling at a certain point.) Exercise can help, as can taking that mental health day once a week and just chilling. Don't be surprised if you get the blues…

-…but be self-aware and able to recognize when the depression is clouding your ability to function. Doctoral programs have a 50% attrition rate, and this is rarely because that 50% is less intelligent than, less motivated than, less driven than, or less ambitious than the other 50% that stays. Often they realize that they are ridiculously unhappy in the field, or that they don't need the degree anymore, or that they'd rather focus on other things in life, or their interests have changed. All of this is okay!

-You will, at some point, be like "eff this, I'm leaving." I think almost every doctoral student has thought about dropping out and just kicking this all to the curb. You need to listen to yourself, and find out whether it is idle thought (nothing to worry about, very normal) or whether you are truly unhappy to the point that you need to leave. Counseling can help you figure this out.

-Don't be afraid to take a semester or a year off if you need to. That's what leaves of absence are for.

Lastly, and positively…

…graduate school is great! Seriously, when else will you ever have the time to study what you want for hours on end, talk to just as interested others about it, and live in an intellectual community of scholars and intellectuals? And occasionally wake up at 11 am and go to the bank at 2 pm? Sometimes you will want to pull out all of your hair but most of the time, you will feel fulfilled and wonderfully encouraged and edified. So enjoy this time!

ok, this may sound ridiculous, but what about clothing? as a TA, will i be expected to look semi-sharp? i went to a small undergrad-only school so i'm clueless here...

Good topic! A lot depends, of course, on what program you are going into. I agree with the file cabinet suggestion. You probably will need at least one floor-to-ceiling bookshelf for textbooks--I haven't bought a single textbook that I plan to sell, since all of my classes are directly related to what I'm going to be doing long-term.

When I started last fall I didn't know what to get so I limited myself to the usual "back-to-school" stuff: binders, notebook paper, pencils (I use mechanical), erasers...

Things I didn't have and ended up buying in a hurry:

*Laptop (I only had a desktop--a nice one, mind, but I really needed something I could take everywhere--home, office, lab)
*Lab coat. (Only for scientists.) I had one years ago but it was trashed. Then I worked for a theoretical chemist and didn't need one. When I started grad school I suddenly remembered how handy lab coats were. I have a cheap one right now but want to get a nicer one later.
*Colored pens. If you're a TA, that is. Grading in black pen just doesn't cut it, as your comments don't really stand out. I prefer the traditional red, but I have friends who grade in green and/or purple.

this thread is discriminatory against people with sub-2.0 gpas!!

I am honestly wondering the same thing, and I am moving from out of the country. So according to my calculations I need around 5k to move to the US to start grad school. That's including airfare, two months rent + security deposit (move-in date is August 15th but the first check comes in October), two months food, supplies, books, and a new laptop. I was thinking of making a GoFundMe if I can't raise half of it by May.

I agree with @rising_star and also want to point out that any student is free to quit their program at any time, even before starting it.
So, you should not "fake-commit" to any school at any time. However, today, on April 15, you only have one offer and nothing is certain about the other two. There is nothing wrong with committing to this school today because you don't actually have any other offers. It would be wrong to take this offer with the intention of taking another offer that you already have. But at this point, you don't have any other firm plans so you can accept this current offer in good faith.
Then, if something better comes along later on, then there is also nothing wrong* with backing out of your offer and taking something different. (Nothing ethically wrong, but you'll have to be prepared that the people at this school will be unhappy that you quit their program and if you want to apply to PhD programs there, it might make it harder for you).
That said, the better approach would have been to ask for an extension and go with the above plan if they say no. But it's April 15 today, so it is probably too late to ask for an extension (you could try emailing right now though).

I never got anything from my university after being recommended for admission, and I've confirmed with several people within and outside of my department that I'm not supposed to. While it's an odd way to do things and definitely not the norm, it does happen. However, I did have a funding offer from my department (a signed letter on departmental letterhead sent to me in pdf format), the response to which was considered our official response to the offer. If you were offered a TA'ship I think that should be good enough. I did have an amount in writing, but as long as the position itself is guaranteed in writing as well as the benefits and approximately salary thereof, then I would say that that's good enough.

I'm going through the same thing. I was worried about it and decided to talk to both my mentors whom reassured me that it's not a big problem...that there's probably a lot of letters to sign and they haven't got to it yet. I also called the graduate admissions office to double check on the status & she said it doesn't affect my acceptance, they just need to do some administrative work and that's it. As for the TA offer, as long as you already said you'll accept it, it shouldn't be an issue.

Hi, so I'm just freaking out because by tomorrow(4/15) I have to notify whether or not I'll attend the university to which I was accepted. (Master's program)
However, decisions from other schools have not been made and they want me to wait another 2 weeks for it. Frankly, if I get admitted to either of these 2 schools, I would rather attend here.
So I was wondering if I could say I would be attending by tomorrow, wait until the other two results come out, and kindly ask for release for the previous school and attend the other accepted institution. 
 

I agree with the previous posters, but also want to mention that it's not uncommon for departments (or schools) to have loan programs for grad students. In my department, you can get paid a portion of your wages in advance (usually either to help move or to make up for choosing not to teach during the summer), and pay it back by a reduction in your future pay (exact form can be negotiated - e.g. skip a payment or just reduce subsequent payments). So you could also ask about this. I think @TheWalkingGrad's suggested phrasing would probably include this.

currentphilgrad I knew someone who used to live there in high school. Apartments are fine, very diverse building (when my friend lived there many of the tenants were first generation americans or recently moved to the US), but this is super far from campus. Seems like you are philosophy and that would put your offices squarely in the center of campus (humanities or maybe van hise I am actually not sure which building). Either way that is a long way so I hope you have a car or are prepared for an approx 30 min commute by bus to campus. I know those apartments over there by the DMV are cheap but that seems too far for me at least. I would suggest somewhere closer! Try old university. Similar feel, not that much more expensive, but a much more reasonable distance from campus.
Eagle heights is fine too. A cheaper option a little closer to campus. They have busses to campus that run regularly so no problem getting to and from campus from there.

"Fine! I'll go make my own geophysics department! With blackjack! And hookers!"

Speaking for myself, I really enjoyed the welcome days! I was a bit apprehensive coming to the Midwest as a Californian but the weather wasn't too bad when I visited (the lake was frozen but thawing on the first day I arrived and it was completely thawed out and blue and beautiful on the day I left). Madison itself seemed like a nice city, large enough that there seems like there's plenty going on and a decent place to for someone in their twenties to live. I'm coming from Davis so Madison reminded me a lot of Sacramento, CA - a mid-sized capitol city with some cool bars/restaurants but definitely not anything urban. 
As for the program itself, it was clearly an academically rigorous place but not cutthroat - all the grad students I met did say your first year is really tough because you're taking 4 classes a term but they all seemed happy to be there, genuinely friendly/friends with each other, and laidback/not pretentious at all. I met with the POIs I named in my SOP and they were all kind and brilliant and seemed to take mentoring students + teaching seriously. I was equally fascinated by the work being done by people outside of my particular field (20th c. American lit); Monique Allewaert talked about her research during a panel and later at the potluck dinner at the DGS' house, I got the chance to speak to her more and she just seemed both incredibly smart and warm. The fact that Madison is such a big public university with so many resources was also a draw for me; for example, Madison has a stellar history of science program and as someone interested in science and literature/interdisciplinary work in general, it was good to hear that a lot of people do interdisciplinary work, take classes outside of the department, etc. It also seemed like they have a pretty vibrant public humanities scene, which made sense after someone explained to me the Wisconsin Idea and what that all entails. 
There were a lot of different panels on student life, teaching, etc, which got a bit tiring but was really helpful in giving me a sense of the department atmosphere. I liked that there seems to be a lot of emphasis placed on training the doctoral students to be good teachers and the fact that there's a well-established writing center also seems like a good resource. There also seems to be a lot of flexibility with designing the English 101 comp course to fit your own research interests, which was a plus, and the 1/1 teaching load seems quite doable and reasonable. I was again a bit apprehensive about teaching in Wisconsin and how the student body might react to certain topics (this is just coming from my impression of the state/Scott Walker/the fact that it went red this election/the undergraduate demographics), but a lot of people reiterated that the students at Madison are really earnest and eager to do well and learn so that was helpful. 
These are my thoughts off the bat, I've probably missed something because I feel like so much happened over the span of a few days but definitely feel free to PM me with any more specific questions you have! 

I was at the welcome days as well. Had a lovely time and really liked the department. I also have a sneaking suspicion that maybe @RydraWong and I walked back to our respective homestays together in the middle of a crazy lightning/thunderstorm. It was pretty epic.
There wasn't much direct discussion about Scott Walker during the visit, but I was also feeling a bit apprehensive after Caroline Levine wrote her open letter to Scott Walker and left the department. That being said, the faculty I met during my visit seemed very committed, and it didn't appear that they were going anywhere. Additionally, the hiring freeze in the department has ended, and I heard from some of the graduate students that the department is now either in the hiring process or looking to hire new faculty members soon. And, finally I would add that, barring any massive scandal, it appears Scott Walker intends to run for his third term as governor in 2018. What that (likely) means for people concerned about higher education is that he'll have to become more centrist in these next couple years and appease those who are suspicious or outright angry at him due to his stance on public education. I've even read that he is (bafflingly or strategically) suggesting a massive increase in public education funding for the upcoming budget. Here's a link to that news source: http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/govt-and-politics/after-earlier-cuts-scott-walker-proposes-spending-boost-for-schools/article_1ded48c2-82ed-5697-8baa-102ec3abe8bb.html
Hope that helps!

Congrats on being accepted to your dream program!
So, I haven't done this, so take it with a grain of salt. I would say it doesn't hurt to try, depending on how you word it. I would go with something along the lines of "Is there any funding available to help international students settling in?". One of the schools that accepted me offered USD 2,000 to help me move.
You could also look into starting a GoFundMe or something like that if the answer is negative.
Good luck!

Hi Cabraloca,
I think it is completely acceptable. Just be honest about it and they may well be in a position to give you more funding, or at the very least pay for you travel. If you read this forum you will find plenty of stories of people successfully asking for more funds in general, or for funds for specific purposes. Your case is definitely justified.  I am also an international student from a poorer country with no access to debt. I explained this to one of the school I got into and they were able to significantly improve their offer, which made it competitive financially.  

Good luck!

I am honestly wondering the same thing, and I am moving from out of the country. So according to my calculations I need around 5k to move to the US to start grad school. That's including airfare, two months rent + security deposit (move-in date is August 15th but the first check comes in October), two months food, supplies, books, and a new laptop. I was thinking of making a GoFundMe if I can't raise half of it by May.

biggest problem with Madison. The people here think they are in Berkeley, and resent the fact that they aren't. I don't like it.

Caveat:

What was said in prior posts about Madtown being a party city that nurtures undergrad drinking and party culture is true. I am from Wisco originally and accepted a fellowship for my masters here. Biggest mistake I have ever made!

Positives: It IS a great bike city. I bought a bike and the trails are beautiful. But you can only use them a few months out of the year.

Negatives: Its frickin cold here! You feel like a prisoner in whatever building your stuck in in the winter because of the numbingly cold windchill. This might not be PC but the people here are just plain wierd and the administration at the Uni is corrupt and falling the way of the state administration. I love my state but am not proud of what has been happening here over the last decade politically. Madison is not the Berkeley of the Midwest that it used to be. I am going to NYC next year and am sooo glad to be getting out of this city.

A co-op is a house (owned by a group with a buy-in to live there, by an individual, or by an external organization like a university) in which many people live 'family style', with single or double-occupancy rooms, sharing bathrooms, laundry facilities, kitchen facilities, and varying degrees of maintenance costs. Often houses have official themes (grad student, international students, rock climbing) or ideological associations (Quaker, vegan, Libertarian). It's common to have unofficial ideological overlap among members (whole foods, vegetarianism, left wing, political activism...they tend towards leftism but are very welcoming of outliers in my experience). It's also common to have a shared mealplan (a monthly food buy-in and a regular cooking obligation), and it's very common for this to be vegetarian or sometimes vegan.

That's a lot of parentheses. But I'd say that's a pretty good definition of a co-op.

I don't really know what a Housing Co-Op is, but I've been living in a dorm for seven years now and I LOVE IT! I love the community. I love how I can live together with people from all different parts of the world. I love to cook together. I love the parties. I love that there's always somebody around if I want company and that I can close my door and have some time in peace if I want to. I've never lived in my own appartment and I'd love to live in a similar setting as a PhD student as well.

This is why I think you shouldn't feel bad. We already know it's not based on merit. My friends who have gone on to do their MA's or PhD's all have two PhD parents who worked at our home University, who knew all the professors since they were in their twenties, so they were always getting the better grades, better jobs, better advisors and, therefore, better LORs. I'm not saying they aren't smart, but I think I'd be at that level too if I had that access to books and critical scientific thinking from a young age.
There is a million reasons why graduate schools don't accept students: funding priorities, class diversity.... maybe they don't have someone working on your academic interests right now and aren't able to provide that for you, maybe there is no funding for someone with your specific profile, or maybe... it's just the elitist US education system spitting you out. And I don't think we should be hurt when THE SYSTEM is at work. Maybe lets be joyful instead that we're not getting sucked in right away, before we have time to create a critique of our own.
Also, this: