SarahBethSortino

Thought I would throw this out there - I have two classes today, one that meets regularly and one that only meets once a month. The once a month class is a panel discussion with a variety of visiting scholars and as it’s only once a month, it is fairly mandatory. Problem is that I have a pretty bad case of bronchitis. I never ever thought I would be considering missing a class. I not only do feel terrible, but I’m comcerned about coughing when the panelists are speaking/being locked in two small rooms for 3 hours each when I’m obviously contagious. Should I ditch the classes and stay home? Should I suck it up? When I was working I never took sick days, but I would have stayed home for this.

Hey there! I just started classes this week and I can definitely say I've reframed my whole way of thinking. The whole being older thing seems to matter not one bit and I'm taking my boyfriend and daughter to a departmental BBQ this weekend. My cohort is very nice and supportive and we are all commuter students, so it seems that social outings will be well planned but worthwhile. Everyone knows I'm a parent and even though I'm the only one among the group it seems like it's no big deal. I'm very happy with the group I have. Given that we're all commuters I'm actually considering holding some sort of social event at my apartment now to get us all together. Long story short I worried quite a bit more than I should have :-)

Luckily, I am from Massachusetts and most of my dearest friends live here. As well as many of my family members. So there's definitely life outside of school for me...it just happens to be in the town where I live now (about 45 minutes off campus), rather than where the school is located.

I know this is a super old thread but as I approach orientation I'm getting more and more concerned about this. We got our little "getting to know you" email from the department... which included the dates of our undergrad degree. I am the oldest by about 10 years. Two people in my cohort graduated last year. Having spoken to other older grad students from my group of friends, I found that they were either completely left out of the loop because people didn't know how to relate to someone who, to a kid just out of college, is just plain old... or they were involuntarily placed into the position of being the "mother hen" of the group... I don't have the time, energy or desire for that. I went into campus the other day to take care of some administrative things and was consistently mistaken for a staff member. Getting a faculty discount at the bookstore was great and all, but I'm getting increasingly concerned that regardless my personality, willingness, or outgoing attitude... I'm going to be the odd man out either way. Maybe it shouldn't worry me as much as it does, but its going ton be tough to hang around for wine and cheese or an after class drink when I have a house to take care of and a kid to pick up.

THanks for the advice. I think at this point I'm going to have to go to an accountant. I've heard from a lot of other people that tax software doesn't quite know how to deal with us. What a headache!

Anyone know about the tax situation for fellowships? I'm pretty sure that they are taxable but I've received a lot of conflicting information. How have current students handled filing taxes for grad fellowships?

Great point about classmates being future colleagues. I'm certainly not going to specifically distance myself, but as I've said before, Massachusetts is my home state and I not only have family and friends there, but a boyfriend. Pretty solid support system. The grad school experience can be wildly different depending on the place you are in life. I have a friend who went almost immediately after undergrad. She spent the first two years getting overly involved with the social scene - to the detriment of her work. Not just the scene, but the drama, the romantic relationship, all of it. I can't even imagine. It sounded exhausting on top of the ACTUAL work

Yeah, I'm not going to lie: there is the definite thought in my mind that I *may* be on the older side of the spectrum. That doesn't necessarily mean they are not great people - I know a lot of people from work that are very mature and in their early 20s. But it could go the other way of course.

Haha. From what I understand the Greek system there is in the nerdy, introvert side anyway so I'm not worried about having to deal with being anywhere near that. Thank god I am living far away from campus though (well, 45 minutes away.) I enjoy my peace and quiet too much. My boyfriend lives in a very undergrad neighborhood near Rutgers right now and I cannot wait to get away from that.

This may seem like a strange comment, but I've been reading a lot of generic "tips on how to succeed in a PhD program" articles on the internet lately and the theme that keeps coming up is the importance of making friends within your cohort, participating in the social life, going out with people to bars, etc. For me, I'm honestly not going into this with the expectation of wanting to make friends, go to bars, participate in the social life. Not to say I won't be friendly, but I am older, have a lot of friends in the state I am moving to, and don't particularly see myself as having the time to spend bar hopping. I know that from my Masters, interacting with my fellow students brought a lot of opportunities to bounce ideas off of peers, but if need be that can be done on campus. I don't see it as the major priority some of these articles are saying it is. So my question: do people in this board thing the "social aspect" of a PhD is particularly important, or a waste of the little time we have to get stuff done?

It feels amazing to come out of this planning for next year! I've been deliriously happy for the past two weeks!

Hey so how is everyone feeling now that it's over? I for one am feeling amazing! Is everyoje starting to think about how they will spend their summer? Reading and researching like crazy or just relaxing?

Sure did! Happy to answer any questions for anyone considering Edinburgh

PM me if you have any questions about Edinburgh. Did my masters there about 10 years ago. Always happy to tell people about it

I'm so excited!!!! All I wanted was to start going on this instead of treading water. I can actually start doing what I need to do now. I'm beyond happy right now!!!