rheya19

Another issue I didn't see mentioned is this: you got interviews but you didn't nail jobs...that means you have some things going on in your CV/Resume that is interesting to people, but you may not be doing well in the interview stage. A job offer could very well be possible if you worked on that aspect and/or got feedback on your interviewing skills from someone.

Do you know this illustrated guide to a PhD? 
http://matt.might.net/articles/phd-school-in-pictures/
I like it a lot because it makes an important point: A PhD is about specializing in something very specific and very narrow. You seem to have a different trajectory that's more geared toward breadth than depth. That's perfectly fine, nothing wrong with that (no cynicism here!), but it's just not what a PhD is about. The field you've chosen is also one that requires a good deal of practical work before you're a strong candidate. So I think for now @ZeChocMoose offers you very good advice: get some more practical experience (along with some counseling, I think). Be more flexible in where you live, especially keeping in mind that what you save in transportation costs you may be spending away on rent (the DC area is expensive!). I think you should only apply for a PhD from a place where you're focused and motivated, not drifting into it. I also think you should only be applying if you can accept that it might then be the last stop on this particular train, and you'll have to get off at the end of the PhD road if you can't find work in your profession -- a quite possible eventuality. A PhD makes you eligible for certain jobs, but it makes you overqualified for quite a few others, and it's also time taken away from working and gaining other experience. All of those factors should go into making the decision. Whatever it is, I think this coming cycle should be a time where you look for more practical experience and a stable job, not a time where you should be applying for grad school. 
 

I don't know that I have any great advice for you, but its awful that you're going through this.  Some thoughts I do have......isn't threatening to evict you because you used law enforcements assistance for your child with a psychiatric illness some form of disabilities discrimination?  I am not an expert on disability laws, but I don't think it would hurt for you to look into that.  Your university should have an office that deals with disability issues that can either advise you or point you in the right direction to get better advice.  Learning what your rights are is free and you may not even need to escalate things to the point of getting a lawyer.
As for feeling unwelcome in your department, are you the only student with a family?  Even though the faculty felt you were a great fit that doesn't mean they're accustomed to having a student with a family that may at times have to direct their attention elsewhere.  Most universities have some type of support group for students with families that I'm told are amazing resources in dealing with not feeling welcome, balancing family and school, and even social options.  Check with your graduate student association about something like that.

For a PhD applicant, a 3.5 GPA is not a very good GPA. It's just enough to not raise eyebrows - assuming this is cGPA, not GPA in major. Average admitted GPAs in PhD programs range from A- to higher.
5 or 6 acquaintances of mine graduated with their education masters in this most recent class. All of them from top programs. Those of them who are not working at entry or mid-level positions in run-of-the-mill schools and districts are all on temp contracts or doing internships. The ones who are doing work that I, an outsider, perceive as more prestigious have previous relevant work or academic experience (e.g. one got a nice opportunity in POC empowerment, and she has been doing race work since her undergrad thesis). I get the feeling that the field is competitive and a degree doesn't guarantee you a job.
I think you're right. You don't say what your field is, but it seems like you've gotten a lot of unrelated degrees, not just subject-wise, but in terms of how they connect to your career. It seems like you got a degree in one professional field, but didn't work in that, then in another, didn't work in that either, and so on. Rightly or wrongly, you seem flaky. I struggled to get my first job out of undergrad as well, it is NOT easy out there, but I think, at a point, it may be worthwhile to stop getting degrees and consider if it's something else, like your soft skills, that needs attention.
Another factor is that, and I'm trying to put this nicely (I really am, mods!), your expectations are unrealistic. It is not possible - it is almost certain that you will not become a professor. That you would be "content" with a director role anywhere is likewise out of touch. These are all extremely competitive positions that aren't just handed out to people with 3.5 undergrad GPAs. They aren't handed out to people with 3 publications in top journals and a PhD from MIT either. You need to be an expert in your field, an exceptionally hard worker, and well-liked by your colleagues to get them. There is also a not-insignificant element of luck. Most people with PhDs don't end up in those jobs.
lol  To quote something I read on the internet, the DC metro sets itself on fire every day.

I don't doubt that you're capable of doing PhD-level work, but from your writing it doesn't sound like a PhD is a good career move for you right now. I think you are much too focused on the joy that a doctoral program will bring you, and I doubt that any program could measure up. Grad school doesn't generate instant happiness, and neither does a job as a university professor. I think it's important to be realistic and realize that getting such a job is incredibly difficult. For someone who's been drifting and has done three masters degrees, I think it's a concern. I didn't read anything in your post that convinced me that you should actually do a PhD. You don't sound focused on a particular field or question; instead, you're attracted to a mystical perfect job post-PhD that doesn't exist. It's important to realize that a PhD is a long and difficult road, and that the majority of people who go into it will not get a job as a professor. Don't go into it only to get that outcome, because it's just not realistic. I think instead it might be a good idea to do two things. One is get help improving your mental health. The other is try to think about career goals, broadening your sights beyond academia.

It's hard, but I would advise decoupling how you think of your happiness for career success. 
Any of the options you list are going to be hard to land even with a PhD, and I think you overestimate the amount of happiness you'll get from the "challenge" of the work.

All of the above. 
The workload is usually a significant increase, with courses covering 1.5-3x more material than corresponding undergraduate courses. Depending, obviously, on what you were used to. 
Papers are generally expected to be lied and more thorough, and the reading load is a lot higher. 
Lab work is almost nonexistent in courses, but you're expected to be working 40ish hours a week on your thesis project outside of classes. 
Grading is generally harder, but if you went to a top notch undergrad and are comparing to a lower tier grad school, it may not be as different.
That said, the main challenge isn't coursework, as courses matter less. It's learning to do independent research. 
If you're looking at coursework only programs, some of the above might not apply to you. 

I taught myself some of the basic skills, but had to untrained myself a bit because it was negatively affecting my comprehension.

My biggest advice for preparing to start a PhD program is enjoy your summer—you won't have too many years left that you don't have to be doing something. This is a chance to refresh a bit, especially if you're coming immediately off an M*. Get back to speed with reading, sure—return to books you already know to help get sea legs back, if you need it. Do some experiments in writing to limber up, including creative writing exercises. But remember that a PhD is a marathon, not a sprint. If you over-prep, you're going to hit December and be burnt out already. Be kind to yourself.

Something else that occurs to me is to look into a Dropbox account (www.dropbox.com). It's basically online storage, but rather advanced (and 2Gb for free). It'll keep all your computers synced if you install the software, but I find it indispensable for grad work for two reasons: (1) It keeps versions of papers up to 30 days, which is great for going back to older revisions, and (2) you can access it from any internet-enabled computer. It basically eliminates the need for a flash drive and you can't lose it, etc. 2Gb might seems small, but there are ways to get it up to 5Gb for free pretty easily.

I know, maybe not what you were originally thinking, but I figured there's no harm in putting it out there.

Good ol' Midwestern code. 

Taylor Swift. 
Can anyone explain her popularity to me? (That's a rhetorical question, by the way. By no means should you engage a conversation with me about Taylor Swift.)

I hate when Starbucks employees get pretentious when you say "medium." They get that attitude and say, "Grande, Tall, or Vente?" and pull the friggin cup sizes out to show you.
I want to drag them across the counter and say, "A MEDIUM. YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT MEANS. IT'S THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE." Don't play games, little girl! I haven't had my caffeine yet.

No offense to anyone here, but common names with  unnecessarily weird spellings. All parents are doing is making life harder for the kid and their teachers trying to learn the kid's name. Like Lyndsi, Jordyn, Zakery, Tailer, etc. I knew a little girl who told me her name was "Kennedy," and then her mom told me it was spelled "Kynnadi." What? 
If you want your kid to have a non-traditional name, then give them one. Don't take a common name and then use it to abuse the letter "y."

Whenever I go to Starbucks, it seems like 90% of what they're selling are hot milkshakes with caffeine. Now look, if you want a raspberry mochaccino with whipped cream, go for it! Drink them to your heart's content. But don't pretend like you're drinking a coffee. You're drinking a hot milkshake with caffeine. 
Same thing with muffins. THEY'RE CUPCAKES WITH NO FROSTING, PEOPLE!!! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! 
A muffin and frappuccino for breakfast = a cupcake and milkshake for breakfast
I'm not judging; I'm just saying, call it what it is.

I think you're going about this in an overly complicated manner--and it's possible that you're not connecting with others in your cohort because they don't feel your attempt to make friends is genuine (the "building a social network" is telling). Your cohort is not the only place to connect. Do you belong to organizations in your field? Attend conferences? Converse on listservs or FB groups? Interact on Twitter? What about advanced grad students working in your field(s)? And connecting with your adviser, who knows more about networking in your field than new students?
Also, have you thought about having someone critique your body language? You may be coming across as too intense and invasive, hence why all of the students exclude you from their gatherings (especially since they are women and you are a man--sometimes, men don't realize they may come across as [vaguely] threatening to women they don't know). 

My advice is not to bother trying to socialize with your cohort at this point. Make friends elsewhere. The one thing that no one told me before I started my graduate studies is that it would end up being one of the most socially-isolating experience of my life. I went to a small college town for my undergraduate studies and had a great experience. My graduate studies have been the complete opposite. For one semester, I was enrolled in a social science program at a college town in the Midwest and I left after one semester because the program was a poor fit for my research area but the lack of any sense of community was a bit shocking. It was a small cohort with five other students and I arranged a brunch one day for everyone and they seemed shocked that grad students would actually socialize with each other. It was a bit of an odd program since it was not very selective and several of the students were in the program because they were locals, much different from a program where students come in from around the country without social networks established.
I headed into my current program which is a much better fit for my research, but ended up being in a cohort of one. The department said this was very rare, but there were four other master's students from the previous cohort still in the program. One of them attended my orientation dinner and one of the questions I asked her was whether the grad students ever socialize with each other. She said that in the year she had been in grad school, it had never happened even once. She said not to bother trying. After meeting the other members of the previous cohort, I realized she was right. They were not unfriendly, but no one would describe them as friendly or welcoming.
I have to admit I had high expectations for the social experience in grad school when I applied for graduate studies: dinner parties, happy hours, weekend trips. I was completely unrealistic for a small program. However, this is common with larger programs. I know someone who went on a ski trip over the winter with 100 fellow business students.
One thing that I did differently from you is that I did not even bother attempting to build some sense of community with the previous cohort. I realized right from the start they were an unfriendly group and made friends elsewhere, especially through running groups on the weekends. It would have been a waste of time to attempt to make friends with the previous cohort.
The funniest thing was when the weekend before finals of the second semester one of them sent out an email seeing if people wanted to get together. It was just bizarre. There was one more week before they were graduating and suddenly one of them decided he wanted to build a sense of community and get everyone together. Nice try, but nine months too late.
So again, my advice is not to bother attempting to socialize with your cohort. Find friends elsewhere. Perhaps like me, you expected a strong sense of community in your graduate school experience. I certainly expected to build strong bonds with my fellow grad students and stay in touch with them for decades after my studies. Nope. They were an unfriendly bunch and finding friends elsewhere was the best decision I made. Six months from now I probably won't even remember their names. I found friends in other programs and through outside activities. Best decision I made.
 

1. Not having to work a 9 to 5.  Sometimes 7am to 10pm, but never a 9 to 5!!
2. With that, I enjoy having control over my own work schedule and not having a manager.  The dean, department head, and faculty advisors are their to help and coordinate things, but they don't micromanage me, and I like that most of the time. I know it isn't this way in all fields, but it is in mine.
3. That feeling you get when an idea you have starts falling into place in your brain and you know it will be an interesting research project
4. Some people think you are brilliant because you are getting a higher degree, even if you are really just a hard worker.
5. Reading comprehension goes through the roof!  I already had very good reading comprehension, now it is amazing!  For me personally, this means I get a lot more from older or more complicated texts than I used to.
6. Naps.
7. Never running out of things to do and getting bored.  There is always another research project to start!

Because I want people to call me doctor but I don't want to touch people.
Jokes aside, I want to be a professor and I love researching. I also love learning about people and seeing what makes them tick xD

"Because I hate myself." That usually shuts people up

So I have something to do after I retire.

I am a full time employee of the university, I finished my undergrad there, currently finishing my Master's, by the time I finish the PhD, I will have 21 years in. 4 more years working after that for full retirement benefits, and then I plan on moving into teaching.

But the real reason is 'because I want to'.

I second the Taiwan recommendation.  If you are looking to teach in after school programs (which most people do) all you need is a bachelor's to get a job and a visa.  I have no idea what the current job market is like here since I am on the end of a decade at the same school and moving back to the US, but Taiwan rates highly from all accounts as a good place to be an ex-pat.

1. I have a sweet tooth and binge on whatever is sweet in the house. So I've made a rule that I can have any treat I want, but I have to go to the store and get one single serving of it. One slice, one piece, one candy bar, one whatever. I can't bring any of it home again.
70% of the time I'm too lazy to go get anything, and when I do get a treat, I eat more slowly and savor it, and I can't binge. 
2. Gym membership. I set certain days and times I have to go. But I only have to go there. If, when I get there, I'm tired or don't feel like working out, I can turn around and go straight home. That caveat gets my butt there, but 95% of the time I figure "I might as well do the tread mill for 10 minutes," and an hour later I have done a full workout.

I've been accepted off of the Emory waitlist, and I will be accepting the offer!

The only Middle Eastern countries that require a head scarf by law are Iran and Saudi Arabia, if I'm not mistaken. I had a friend who traveled in Amman, Jordan alone, and she said she felt very safe. She dressed in loose clothes, shoulders and knees covered, and men never cat-called her or harassed her in any way. I also know someone who taught in the UAE for a few years. Those countries could be worth looking into.
I lived in Taiwan and taught ESL there for four years. I was studying Chinese at the same time. It's relatively easy to get a visa to live and work there (compared to Japan or Korea.) The money isn't as good, but the cost of living is way, way cheaper. Learning Mandarin is not easy, though. You'd need a couple of years there to get a handle on it. I don't know how that compares to Arabic, though.
Feel free to PM me with questions about Taiwan, if you like.