caffeinated applicant

Even though I'm yet to hear from NYU and UPenn (I mean, who HAS - both are implied rejects I suppose (congrats to the admits)), I'm considering the rejection I got from Columbia today as the final nail in the coffin for any further good news. Thinking about this as the end of my application cycle, I can't help but feel relieved - I have one solid acceptance to what has been my dream school since finishing my MA in 2018 (and my dream city since visiting in 2012). Now all I've got to do is visit next week, soak it in, and say yes. Not being Oxford or Cambridge educated, from a failing state secondary school, a "first generation scholar," I was convinced that this application cycle would be a complete bust for me. It turns out that all it takes is one offer to make the whole thing worth it (despite the imposter syndrome I have as a constant companion at the moment). Despite feeling crushed by all the rejection (my supervisor once told me that the experience of working in Academia is the experience of rejection, and keeps a stack of every rejection they ever got in their office), I feel like the luckiest little queer scholar who could. And it really was luck; I hope that you all get just as lucky very soon. x

My gut reaction is to go to the far one and schedule informal meetings with the close one. Meeting the cohort at Close School might be a wash--it's a very short time to get to know people, you'll be interacting with people outside your cohort as well, and would you ultimately make the decision based on cohort anyway?
This is assuming that the two are relatively close together in terms of favorability--enough that you could see yourself being swayed from the preferred school to the other by things like other grad students' notes about departmental support or professors' personalities in person or their note that "oh yes well I do currently have 12 students under advisement so I only see each dissertation student once a semester..." If you're just about set on the close school and really couldn't see yourself turning it down for the far school (for example if close school is ranked top 20 and far school is ranked 60th), perhaps just go to close school's weekend.
Either way, when you schedule the not-official-weekend talks, keep in mind you don't have to tell them why you can't make it! "I'm very unfortunately not available to visit the weekend of X" is perfectly fine. They will probably assume it is another program visit, but it could also be your sister's wedding, or your mother's surgery, or your own surgery, or any number of other things keeping you from visiting the "correct" weekend, and they don't need to know. As long as your tone comes off as genuinely apologetic and not callous, you're fine. 

Ouch, why does this penchant for sadism resonate with me so much?
But anyway, here are my $0.02 worth. Even if "happiness" isn't the main criteria for your decision, it doesn't mean that you should be abjectly miserable either. You don't have to be the happiest you've been in your life during the course of your grad studies, and this will likely be impossible anyway given all the inevitable stress, but you also can't be so downtrodden that you're rendered almost incapable of doing the work you're meant to do in a PhD program (if that makes sense)? I suppose this means choosing a program where you know you'll be supported adequately for the next six years, academically, psychologically, and financially. I don't doubt that the programs to which you've been accepted are offering you rather sizeable funding packages, but there are certainly some places (Brown, Princeton) where you can make your money stretch more than others (Columbia, Berkeley) — would you like to live more comfortably and with some savings? Or is the bare minimum enough? Does the school have a strong grad union? What are the teaching requirements? Also, I trust that all these programs are challenging in their own ways, but several places (UChicago, Berkeley) used to be infamous for being shark tanks. I don't know if their reputations for being exceedingly harsh still hold today, and it'll be definitely better for you to check in with the current students on your visits. But if certain programs are in fact more 'hardball' than others, then ask yourself if you're the sort of student who thrives in such hyper-competitive environments, or if you're better suited to more collaborative pedagogical strategies. Ultimately, you have several great programs to choose from, so pick the one that suits your needs — whatever they may be — best. 
Edit: I'm guessing that your mentors would have also vetted your POIs with you, but if they haven't, do ask around about their reputations and supervision styles. 

Part II:
A: Go to (k). I went to (y) but the three most brilliant minds working in literary studies right now are at (k). You would be an idiot not to go there, but I have a feeling you won't, because you'll be an idiot about it.
Me: Well I've heard that all of the graduate students at (k) are miserable—a lot of current and recent ones have reached out to me with not so great things.
A: What is "happiness" anyway? Why would anyone do a PhD thinking they're going to be happy during it? 
Me: Okay that's a point. Were you happy at (y)?
A: Well, yes.
Me: I feel like I could be really happy at (x) but they apparently haven't placed a TT job in 3 or 4 years now.
B: There are no jobs. You will not get a job. Just go where you want to read and write for 6 years and expect to leave the profession after.
Me: But you have a job.
B: Do not pay attention to that. No one gets jobs.
Me: This is a Beckett play and I want out.

"hey, why is there a large number of richly embroidered litters arising from all major streets and the T station to converge on harvard yard?" 
"oh the english department decided that's the only approved form of transportation this year for the new grad students. I guess they really want a 100% yield this year"

I feel like the #1 thing underscored by this is just that there is no one single "correct answer" but instead many answers that are right in one way, wrong in others, and your future happiness/career (the thing the choice is supposed to be about!) is going to be so much more dictated by things that you can't foresee now than things that are discernible in the present.
But also idk I think that D has a great point maybe go with (k) ?

I feel like the #1 thing underscored by this is just that there is no one single "correct answer" but instead many answers that are right in one way, wrong in others, and your future happiness/career (the thing the choice is supposed to be about!) is going to be so much more dictated by things that you can't foresee now than things that are discernible in the present.
But also idk I think that D has a great point maybe go with (k) ?

Penn is KILLING ME. This unusually competitive cycle has fully flubbed the projected acceptance dates. I too am ready for my rejection.Or acceptance. Or waitlist. I don't care anymore but also I fully, deeply, truly, care. Having the time of my life. Heaven is a place on earth.

Just an update on this: I have been emailing/having coffees with all of the mentors of mine who're in the know about the state of the programs I applied to at the moment and they are ... all giving me completely contradictory advice lol! Also most of them know each other and it's gotten to the point where some are fighting behind the scenes about their advice to me. (I'm sure this will all be fine in the end, no one is totally right and no one is totally wrong, but just picture me, a person who always tries to please her teachers, good teacher's pet, sitting in a chair, trying to process all of this.)
A: Don't go to (x). There's no one for you to work with there.
B: Well, A doesn't know what she's talking about. Go to (x). 
C : Wait, actually I think (y) could be a perfect fit for you. Don't go to (z).
D : I've been talking to C and we both think you should go to (y). Go where you have multiple people you want to work with who have clout.
E: I know you like (y) a lot but eh ... I'm not crazy about [POI]. 
D : I've changed my mind; go to (k).
F (teacher of B ) : (x) is boring. (y) is also boring. Don't go to (x) or (y) under any circumstances. Also don't choose for advisors; all that can change. Go where you like the intellectual community best. More soon, bye.
B : Remember there are no jobs so don't expect that you'll get one. Kiss kiss!

I'd check your spam folder (just in case!) and reach out to UVA--the mass waitlist email that went out yesterday (which I thought was particularly polite and lovely--s/o to YOU, UVA, for making me feel like I was being treated as a person!) indicated that everyone who is on the waitlist and had indicated desire to be considered for the MA can consider this to be an admission to the MA. Possible that MA decisions are still in progress, but due to it being what appeared to be just a bcc of the whole list, it's possible that your email address was missed or mistyped or what have you. 

Still out of reactions, but I'm loving the medieval love! 
In other news... I'm curious to know why it's still February. Why can't this month just move on? It's over, February. No one likes you anymore. You can't sit with us. March is the new February, so take a seat already. I need to hear from my last two schools so I cant start making tough choices, because obvi I'm not under enough stress as it is!! March holds the answers to all. 

Just got into Syracuse! Hyped!

HELLO, FRIENDS! I just received word that I'm on the waitlist at UNC Chapel Hill!! I am so excited and so flattered that they are seriously considering me and I would absolutely die if I got in! The DGS sent a very kind letter and he sounded positive about the likelihood of admission! Still, I know I shouldn't get my hopes up too much, but I really am extremely pleased that it wasn't the rejection I expected. I had thought I'd have my decision made by the middle of March, but it looks like I'm going to be in this for the long haul! 
(Also, I sure wasn't expecting an email from the DGS at 10:59pm.)

All of these considerations sound great, and I'm so happy that the convo with your professor helped clarify how many wonderful options you really have! Of course it's impossible to see the whole picture from a post or the future from the present, but reading this snapshot I have a feeling that your future looks very, very bright, and I wish you and your family all the best. 

Out of reactions, but solidarity! Sugary, sweet solidarity.

Heck, that reminds me that I forgot to buy a cheesecake at the grocery yesterday!! I'm going to have to rectify this ASAP. 

I just want to thank everyone for their kind words after my last post. I spent an hour or so today talking with one of my professors in my MA program and she really made me feel a lot better. Like...yes, the tenure track job is a nightmare, but it's not the only option for folks with a PhD. I can teach at a private high school, work in publishing or grant writing, etc., and that to me would by no means be the end of the world. I'm also in game studies, so there's a chance I could end up with an industry job. (Of course, I'd love a tenure track job, but more than anything I want to make sure I can provide for my family first and foremost.) And I have options internationally, too; my partner is from Korea and we've talked about opening an English academy over there, which of course we'll have better prospects in doing if I have the PhD. Stony Brook has a fairly sizable Korean community and a developed Korean Studies program, too, and so my son will get to grow up exposed to that culture (we're already planning to raise him bilingual). 
Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know I'm doing much better now. Thank you again, and I wish everyone here the best of luck.

Thank you for your condolences! I'm surprisingly heartbroken. I am trying to remind myself that I'm already in at my top choice and that I'm probably definitely going there anyway, but I still really thought Brown and I would have gotten along. I visited Yale and Brown last year and spent the night in Providence on my way to Portland, ME. I had wished the whole time we were eating lobster in Maine that we had chosen to stay in Providence instead. I loved Providence more than New Haven, even. IT'S FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE I have great options I just really f*cking wanted to have the option to consider Brown. It felt so right! I would have loved to receive pedagogical training there!  Despite having a successful cycle even after expecting/preparing for a shut out, it is still a devastating process. My hands were shaking for like 10 minutes after receiving the Brown rejection. I could hardly open my rejection champagne! ??‍♀️

hi all! I’m a current first year PhD student at UVA, and have been lurking on here a bit trying to message those who have been accepted/waitlisted just to say congrats and make myself available – but I’m sure I haven’t been able to catch every post, so figured I should probably say more publicly that I’m happy to answer any and all questions via PM! please reach out if you have any questions, or even just want to connect. I will answer all messages to the best of my ability and am maybe most qualified to talk about:
UVA faculty/courses related to early modern lit or women & gender (a bit of 18th century + medieval knowledge as well) the waitlist process at UVA choosing a program sight-unseen grantwriting/the nonprofit sector as a path before or after graduate school moving away from one’s spouse/partner for a program (saw some discussion on this topic a while back in the thread I think) I also have a small amount of knowledge about Vanderbilt, Rutgers, and Michigan E&WS from last year, and would be happy to answer any questions that I can on those programs if (like I was) anyone is very desperate for information at this stage.
wishing you all the best with a very, very long and miserable process! be good to yourselves.

Got rejected from Brown and Princeton today, and despite the fact that I have great offers already, I am still SO BUMMED and am investing in drinking champagne in the afternoon and dreaming about having health insurance in September. I feel like I got dumped twice by two different people and I only even wanted to date one of them but I needed them both to love me??? 2 more schools to hear back from and it will be O V E R I C A N N O T W A I T

Hey @nideaqui, I'm a current student at Cornell (not in English, though!). I've found that people's impressions of Ithaca housing market are rooted in where you're moving from. I'm from Silicon Valley so when I first visited Cornell people kept telling me 'oh, the housing prices are INSANE' and I was like 'you can rent a one bedroom apartment in downtown for the same price as a room in a house shared with 8 other people in my hometown' so ymmv. (Not an exaggeration, btw, and that cost is also an actually reasonable percentage of your budget based on what Cornell pays you. And my friends who moved here from NYC or London have similar stories!) For your first year talking to people at the open house is usually the best way to go, but you can find good places on Craigslist/FB Marketplace. Also current grad students are usually more than willing to do viewings/walkthroughs on your behalf.
Slightly related also but take undergrad impressions of grad life with a grain of salt! Most grad students I know at Cornell think exactly the opposite of what I've seen people saying in this thread: we think our undergrads are super isolated and have few social outlets, but I've literally never had a more active social life since starting grad school here. I honestly only know like...one or two people who are genuinely unhappy living in Ithaca, most people I know love it here. (I'm like 90% sure that the undergrads I teach think I'm a miserable shut in, though, haha!) In particular, the English Department Grad Student org has really been revived this year and has reportedly become a bit of a social hub for the department.
Good luck, and congrats! 

On a separate note, I just got a job at a gourmet chocolate shop! I start tomorrow and this is my thought process:
Yay! I love chocolate and paychecks!
Wait, I'm still waiting to hear back from BU and Brandeis (even though the latter is an implied rejection)...
Wait, I might hear back from them as early as tomorrow...
Well, there go my thighs.

I'd say get your advice on this topic outside of Gradcafe. Talk to your recommenders, talk to grad students at the programs you're considering, talk to the placement officer (if applicable) at those programs, talk to faculty at those programs. GC is mainly the blind leading the blind--the vast majority of users have too little information to see the whole picture. This isn't at all to say that you shouldn't think about ranking, but that offline conversations will probably lead to much more fruitful information, particularly tailored to your subfield, your previous credentials, and your goals. 

I never said all adcom members at all programs read every single word of every application! I was responding to the suggestion that an abstract might be good because you can never underestimate how little a professor reads—which suggests that people think they're at risk of rejection because professors are skimming.
Also, no one person on the adcom has hundreds of files—they are broken up into packets/sessions and divvied among readers, usually by subfield. Obviously I can't speak to how it works at every institution, but I know people who have been on adcomms at places like UNC Chapel Hill, Duke, NYU, Princeton, Brown, and Oxford (MSt and DPhil). There are one or more initial culls based on any variety of factors (and I'm sure in a lot of cases it doesn't take reading every last word of the sample to know the person isn't a good fit for the program), but, like I said in my previous reply, by the time you get to the first and second rounds, yes, please take it as a given that your application is being read carefully and in full by several people. 
I won't engage in further on this one because really that's my entire take, but I just do not see the point of an abstract for writing samples. If it's an essential component of compiling a polished file for you personally or a helpful structuring element of your style as a scholar and thinker, I'm sure it won't harm your application. But imo, if your introduction doesn't accomplish what an abstract would, something's wrong with your sample.

Totally agree with #2. A million times yes to #2. But #1? I may have missed this discussion earlier in the thread but I don't think an abstract is necessary and I haven't yet encountered a WS that had one (with the exception of brief single sentence at the top indicating a sample was an excerpt from a longer paper, for one friend that had no time to revise anything or rewrite a different conclusion). Maybe that's just a fluke, but I was a bit of a hoarding magpie when it came to asking friends who went through past cycles to see their SOPs/writing samples.
I say this only because an abstract at the top of papers (different than a conference abstract) can be a tricky form to get right (has to be brief, concise, eloquent, sum up piece without repeating and in such a way that doesn't steal any of the thunder of your thesis/arg in the introduction). Most people won't have much experience with it even if they've done conferences, unless they have publications and had to write one for a journal article—I for one have never done it and can bet if I would've tacked one on to my WS, on gradcafe advice, it probably would've been redundant and awkward and a waste of precious page-space. Not saying it's wrong—it's certainly an option and for some a good one; I can see why for the kind of paper you're describing it might benefit—just chipping in two cents for someone who might read this in future wondering whether they should.