Maybe I am not a good philosopher, I know for a fact I am a dumb bitch for self-funding an MA. I spent the whole summer working on my application closely with my thesis advisors. Spending my evenings attending Champaign-Urbana's Aspire program just to reject me but accept someone from my program who applied on a whim. I do wish to die now.
I had made my peace a while back, what hurts is the sudden shift from scholastic work to retail labor. I understand the low chance of admittance. I am finished with my MA and I return to the workforce as something I did not wish for.