FairleyAlfy

I am going through this as well. I was feeling pretty great--well, anxious, but great--but then a few days ago I made the mistake of reading though the first piece in my writing sample. I could see a lot of its (quite sizable) flaws, and I now I feel certain that I'm destined for a full slate of rejections. I had a little pity party for myself that day (there were dirty martinis and carryout sushi involved) and then I started on a backup plan. I made a list of the schools I want to apply to next round and I made a list of goals to accomplish before next app season. I also started a new story, which I'm having to handwrite away from a computer and phone so that I stop checking my email the entire time. My husband and I have also decided that if I don't get in anywhere, we're still going to move somewhere different for a year (we're thinking Colorado Springs maybe?). I'm also trying really hard to read a ton by forcing myself to get through a chapter or short story before I'm allowed to check my email or gradcafe again. I'm also trying to find healthier ways to deal with the anxiety than just stress-clicking refresh--although admittedly I've been doing that all morning. I'm trying to exercise more, go on walks, listen to podcasts, watch movies (just rewatched Booksmart ? ), play Mario Kart with my kid. Basically I'm just doing anything I can to get through this and I'm being okay with not being okay. I'm giving myself some slack. So what if I don't get the laundry done this week (last week I literally paid someone to do it) and so what if I haven't started my novel yet and so what if I can't squeeze out more than a paragraph today. This is a really shitty time and people outside of this bubble don't really understand, but that's why we're here--so that we can at least have a sense that we're not alone in this.

ohhhh big time! i've honestly felt like ad comms are just going to laugh at my sample and at how silly i was for applying. but then i find some peace in the fact that this is something that has brought me so much joy, and even if the world is lying to me and i actually really suckand dont stand a chance, it still makes me happy. PLUS we're all allowed to suck at things. thats human
 honestly i've been finding ways to keep my hands occupied. that means basically anything that doesnt need me to sit in one place. its like physically running away from even the thought of this process. it's probably not going to work long term but i just need it to work until i hear back. 
 i could not tell you how you can deal with imposter syndrome except to show your work to strangers. i put it up on instagram and people whose work i really admired also liked mine. its easier to believe that you're good at what you do when strangers who have no agenda and nothing you can give them in return enjoy your work. but also do something tangible that you can see and hold in your hands instead of just writing on a screen. it helps, i promise.
 also i feel like if im about to get all rejections, it would be so much easier to deal if i got them all at once, like RIGHT NOW. why make us wait four months to tell us. but the world is the way it is so we must, must, must remember to breathe. it sucks rn but it'll be over so soon. 4 months may feel like a lifetime but its such a smol time. u got this!
❤️
 

Content Warning: This is gonna be a semi negative rant! I don't want to put bad energy in here but I feel like I'm singing the same tune to friends and family who don't really "get" this process like you guys do. 
I feel like my life revolves around hearing back from programs. I thought that the initial anxiety would be over by now but every time that I get an email it feels like the world is going to end. I know in my heart it's silly to think but I can't help but feel like if I don't get in I'm delusional for thinking that I actually had a chance in the first place. The imposter syndrome is hitting me really hard right now. My super intelligent friend who has gotten into competitive programs in another field helped me with applications and vice versa. She tells me that I need to calm down because the application is strong and there's nothing else that I can do. She's not a liar and she's nixed pages of my application before telling me that I've got a solid portfolio. She wouldn't lie. I know that. But, I have this awful feeling that everyone in my life is lying to me and that they secretly pity my misplaced hopefulness. It's silly but  I wish that I could physically follow my application and be a fly on the wall and hear why I wasn't chosen or why I will be chosen. I thought that physically preparing for my results would be the hardest part and waiting would be a welcome break. But, it's not the case at all. Is anyone else plagued with imposter syndrome? How are you dealing with it? 

Same! My husband is ready to ban me from all digital devices. 

OMFG my mailed transcript for one of my colleges finally got processed at New Hampshire! My old college only does mail or fax (why?) and I was so stressed. I had a dream about it getting updated 2 weeks ago and was so disappointed that it wasn’t real. I’m grinning like an idiot for basically no reason.

Yes! We have some super kind and supportive people here aside from a persistent troll that keeps making accounts only to be banned from the forum again....anyway, aside from that haha, it's a swell place to commiserate. I've heard good things about all those programs! I hope they get back to you soon!

Yes! We have some super kind and supportive people here aside from a persistent troll that keeps making accounts only to be banned from the forum again....anyway, aside from that haha, it's a swell place to commiserate. I've heard good things about all those programs! I hope they get back to you soon!

Yes! We have some super kind and supportive people here aside from a persistent troll that keeps making accounts only to be banned from the forum again....anyway, aside from that haha, it's a swell place to commiserate. I've heard good things about all those programs! I hope they get back to you soon!

Thank you so much! Everyone here seems so kind and welcoming ? I applied to 5 different MFA programs for fiction (Michener, UVA, USF, UO, and Portland State) so I'm praying I get into one of them haha. I was originally on the clinical psych path but had a career crisis and decided to go for what I really wanted instead. Best of luck to you too!!

Different kinds of conversation, and some people do value anonymity. Also, that number is hyperbole; I usually don't check this site more than 97 times in a given day.

Hey everyone! I figured I'd make an account to give myself something to do while waiting in limbo lol. Good luck everyone

Yea, I transferred to a senior college as well after getting my prereqs. I got a full scholarship for being a transfer student because I did well in community college, and that was invaluable. There are more resources at a University, but it can be super helpful for financing an education by getting prereqs done at a community college. As you said, the prereqs are pretty much the same everywhere.
From my experience, there were more scholarships available by taking that route, but I don't know how that varies from state to state. God, I wish education was more affordable...

Yea, I transferred to a senior college as well after getting my prereqs. I got a full scholarship for being a transfer student because I did well in community college, and that was invaluable. There are more resources at a University, but it can be super helpful for financing an education by getting prereqs done at a community college. As you said, the prereqs are pretty much the same everywhere.
From my experience, there were more scholarships available by taking that route, but I don't know how that varies from state to state. God, I wish education was more affordable...

Me when people try to stroke my ego 

Yea, I transferred to a senior college as well after getting my prereqs. I got a full scholarship for being a transfer student because I did well in community college, and that was invaluable. There are more resources at a University, but it can be super helpful for financing an education by getting prereqs done at a community college. As you said, the prereqs are pretty much the same everywhere.
From my experience, there were more scholarships available by taking that route, but I don't know how that varies from state to state. God, I wish education was more affordable...

I got my A.A at an excellent community college, and if it wasn't for my creative writing professor at that college, I would not be a writer today. She is the one who signed me up for creative writing courses, encouraged me to submit my work to journals, and together we started a monthly spoken word event at local bookstores and coffee shops for the public. I've been writing since I learned how to write and read, but I never thought I could actually study or pursue creative writing. My parents never read my work and refused to because they didn't want to encourage me in a "fantasy" according to my father. My parents always wanted me to become an engineer or doctor, and it wasn't till the creative writing professor showed interest in my writing that I started to believe that just maybe I could pursue what is the only thing that has ever made me happy. 
It saddens me that people talk so badly of community college. For many people, it's all they can afford. 

Yea, I transferred to a senior college as well after getting my prereqs. I got a full scholarship for being a transfer student because I did well in community college, and that was invaluable. There are more resources at a University, but it can be super helpful for financing an education by getting prereqs done at a community college. As you said, the prereqs are pretty much the same everywhere.
From my experience, there were more scholarships available by taking that route, but I don't know how that varies from state to state. God, I wish education was more affordable...

I also did community college to save money before transferring to UW. To me, there wasn't a large difference between the prereqs I took at CC and the first few prereqs I did before getting into my major classes. I think for the people who are just trying to get a degree and move on to the professional field there's hardly any difference. But I was driven and for me the university made a huge difference because of the resources available for me. For almost my entire time at UW I was able to work in journalism on a professional level, and even though I later decided against a career in that field those experiences were invaluable.

I got my A.A at an excellent community college, and if it wasn't for my creative writing professor at that college, I would not be a writer today. She is the one who signed me up for creative writing courses, encouraged me to submit my work to journals, and together we started a monthly spoken word event at local bookstores and coffee shops for the public. I've been writing since I learned how to write and read, but I never thought I could actually study or pursue creative writing. My parents never read my work and refused to because they didn't want to encourage me in a "fantasy" according to my father. My parents always wanted me to become an engineer or doctor, and it wasn't till the creative writing professor showed interest in my writing that I started to believe that just maybe I could pursue what is the only thing that has ever made me happy. 
It saddens me that people talk so badly of community college. For many people, it's all they can afford. 

I got my A.A at an excellent community college, and if it wasn't for my creative writing professor at that college, I would not be a writer today. She is the one who signed me up for creative writing courses, encouraged me to submit my work to journals, and together we started a monthly spoken word event at local bookstores and coffee shops for the public. I've been writing since I learned how to write and read, but I never thought I could actually study or pursue creative writing. My parents never read my work and refused to because they didn't want to encourage me in a "fantasy" according to my father. My parents always wanted me to become an engineer or doctor, and it wasn't till the creative writing professor showed interest in my writing that I started to believe that just maybe I could pursue what is the only thing that has ever made me happy. 
It saddens me that people talk so badly of community college. For many people, it's all they can afford. 

I got my A.A at an excellent community college, and if it wasn't for my creative writing professor at that college, I would not be a writer today. She is the one who signed me up for creative writing courses, encouraged me to submit my work to journals, and together we started a monthly spoken word event at local bookstores and coffee shops for the public. I've been writing since I learned how to write and read, but I never thought I could actually study or pursue creative writing. My parents never read my work and refused to because they didn't want to encourage me in a "fantasy" according to my father. My parents always wanted me to become an engineer or doctor, and it wasn't till the creative writing professor showed interest in my writing that I started to believe that just maybe I could pursue what is the only thing that has ever made me happy. 
It saddens me that people talk so badly of community college. For many people, it's all they can afford. 

Welcome! I think coming from a background that isn't strictly humanities probably gives you a really unique perspective. Tbh, I kind of wish that I had gone in the direction of STEM for my undergrad for practicality's sake. 

Absolutely love Murakami and Tartt! I read The Secret History this summer, but have yet to read her other works.  I read 1Q84 a few years ago, but since then have mostly only read his short stories. If you liked those writers, you might enjoy The Vegetarian by Han Kang. These days I'm mostly reading poetry tbh, but I'm hoping to pick up a new novel soon. Will check o ut Ozeki and Mitchell since it sounds like we have similar taste! 

Hi guys! I've been lurking for a few days but I thought I might as well make an account and introduce myself I am about to graduate with a bachelor's in computer science, and I'm pretty young, so I know my chances might be slim BUT I'm hopeful. One of my personal mentors and recommenders is a graduate from the program I am dreaming of attending, so that makes me think I have a bit of a shot. I applied to a bunch of different fiction programs, all top tier, and haven't heard back from anywhere yet. I know, of course, that there's a big ole chance I'll get all rejections. Fingers crossed, though. And my fingers are crossed for everyone else! I know writing is something we all hold dear. 
I am not as passionate about computer science as I am writing, but I attended a super intense STEM-focused early college program that set me up to do well in CS, and I knew it'd be a good route to go down if creative writing doesn't work out for me. But man oh man, I really hope it does (as I'm sure is the case for all of you!!). I am also applying to some PhD programs in computer science as my backup plan, since I definitely don't think I'm ready to get a full-time job or anything like that...
I'm not sure if this was discussed earlier in the forum, but what type of writing do you guys like the most? And who are your favorite authors? I love magical realism and Japanese literature. My favorite authors are Haruki Murakami, Donna Tartt, David Mitchell, and Ruth Ozeki. I was also a huge fan of Tin House magazine before they stopped printing.
Best of luck to everyone!

Oh if I get in you better believe I'll be that guy wearing tweed and corduroy jackets.

I hope you're right. I'm also afraid you're right.