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Well, it would have been best not to have said you were accepting, but it sounds as though you didn't officially accept -- and even if you had, I doubt it is unheard of that people switch on receiving more appealing offers. As long as you don't leave them when it's too late to make offers to people on the waitlist, it should work out ok for everyone.

I think it would have been fine to arrange a casual meeting and just get some general input from him on grad school and relative merits of different options/programs you are considering. I think people enjoy helping others -- as evidenced by this board :-) and his offer might have not been meant as more than that. Still, you were there, so if you felt there might be something in the offer that would make you uncomfortable, you were probably right to pay attention to that feeling.

I think email thank you notes are fine -- and especially convenient for people who are out of town (what...a stamp?). That said, I did write notes to my referees that were attached to the gifts I gave them personally (I was still taking classes at the same school). I also emailed them admissions updates, which I think were also appreciated.

It seems a bit late for interviews...but maybe others have more information. I think it is also possible to get in without an interview, if fewer accepted students than expected take schools up on their offers. Anyway, until they actually tell you you're out, I'd say there's still hope. Good luck. On rereading your post -- you seem to have applied to some schools with much later deadlines than any I did -- so that could mean you still have time to hear back :-)

I think it is reasonable to leave a situation that is making you unhappy, especially if it is one that you are in at some cost to yourself (even if your funding fully covers tuition, you are losing the chance to actually be making money). Deciding to stay depends on whether the degree is worth the short term sacrifice. You will have to decide that. My graduate program is not perfect, but it does not make me feel miserable day in and day out. Most of the people I interact with are quite nice, but it is still difficult, and if I didn't have an outside support system, I'm not sure I'd be able to stay motivated. Grad school can be rewarding, but it is not guaranteed to be, and even "good" programs can be rough at times. Even if your current experience ends up not being for you, there are most likely places/programs where you would be able to find what you need. The question now is, will staying in this program help get you to the next (hopefully more fulfilling) stage of your life? Good luck!

And those scores are not bad -- before the new system was put in place, that quant would have been over 750.

I went to med school 3 years out of undergrad, and had kids at the time. It is extremely hard to do it all at once unless you have fantastic support systems (especially family members nearby who can help out -- which my husband and I did not have). I ended up finishing school but then staying home for years. Now...back in (grad) school in my 40s. It's been interesting being in school with kids in college :-) It is possible to do it all, but it is not easy. And forget about any sort of "balance" while you're doing it. My life was school - kids - study-sleep - repeat. I had no "life" if you mean going out to eat, spending time with friends, TV, leisure reading, exercise, fill in whatever else you want. And even sleep was "compressed," so get used to feeling exhausted all the time.

Also...keep in mind, you have to send schools all your official transcripts (at least I had to), so those SHOULD definitely be legible. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I also just sent emails. Fortunately, I was *finally* able to email that I had been accepted somewhere. Before, though, I got back some very nice, encouraging responses. They know what it's like...

I think it is nice to give gifts, because it is a huge favor. (Sure it's part of the job, but it's also a lot of work). I have written a few letters, and it generally takes me several hours to get the wording right. I gave gifts to my recommenders, and I think they were appreciated.

I am 100% certain that my undergrad institution has helped me with all my post-undergrad applications. However, I think it is probably only the top 10 or so (not the top 50 -- at least not past 20) that would do so. Whether it should be that way or not, I don't know, but it has seemed to help me.

My guess is no.

If you are worried about your 165V, why aren't you worried about the 160Q? I think the scores (both) are decent. Good luck!

I don't think it's required to have any particular recommendations -- they probably would like a letter from your advisor under normal circumstances, but they'd probably understand that it would be awkward in this case. Good luck!

No...but it's easier for those of us in the sciences to say this. You may be able to get a TA or RA once you are on campus. I have even heard of students looking for them shortly after being admitted, as the fall they start tends to be too late (At least for that first semester/year).

You may not be the school's first choice, but their "first choices" may choose to go to other schools, leaving them looking for replacements. In other words, until you get an official rejection, there's still some hope.... Good luck!

I agree with MOchemist and did the same. Submit ALL transcripts. I know it's a pain in the neck. For me, it means I need to submit 9 transcripts any time I apply for anything that needs them.

I agree with the other posters -- there are always "issues" with projects. It does sound as though she's trying to get out of writing the letter. It might be that she's just too busy right now, not that she has any specific problems with you. I have had to write a couple of letters, and it generally takes me several hours (basically, a full evening) to do a really good job. Maybe I'd get faster if I had to write as many as these profs probably do, but it still takes time and effort.

The quant score seems a little low for CS -- what percentile does that end up being? I think your references and research experience will end up being especially important, since your numbers are not top rank. As others have said, there are really no safeties. Can you ask professors/counselors at your school for recommendations of where to apply or if they know of schools that students from your program and with similar backgrounds/stats have successfully applied to?

I think it is fine to give them gifts before you have any results from your applications -- just be sure to send them email updates when you DO have news to share!

I'm 45 and in my 3rd year of a biology-subfield PhD program. It's been an up-and-down experience. My program is very isolating, and my cohort is not at all close. I rely on my friends from before grad school for support. There are days I wish I were doing something else, and I have no idea if I will finish the program. On better days, finishing seems possible, but never definite. I have been enjoying learning new things, but I enjoy my electives more than anything else, I'd say. I don't know if things would be different if I were younger. I don't think it would make any difference in how I relate to others in my cohort and in my program. I think it's more a program-wide issue. It is really hard to give an answer that is applicable across the board, as everyone's experiences will vary, depending on so many factors. I don't regret starting on this journey -- but there are definitely things I wish I could change.

I agree with Usmivka that it will be very difficult to get into a life sciences PhD program without research experience. If you do not have any, you need to figure out some way to get some. This could be very hard to do if you need to work full time. It would also help you decide if a PhD is really the option you want to pursue. Best of luck!

I don't think ranking in letters is that uncommon, and I believe some forms specifically ask recommenders to do this. Ideally, your recommenders would rank you in the top 10% or higher. You should ask if people can write you "strong" letters and then you need to trust them. Most professors want their students to do well and will offer advice on grad school applications/programs if asked. I unexpectedly found that asking people to write letters for me was the one bright spot of what was otherwise a pretty stressful experience. My recommenders were enthusiastic and interested in how the process was going for me. They were pleased when I got interview invites and supportive when I got rejections and happy for me when I finally got accepted. I ended up becoming closer to the people I asked for letters from as a result, even the one woman who intimidated me and who I did not think would be likely to write me a strong letter. I was wrong -- she even offered to proofread my SOP! So don't worry overmuch -- if they agree to write for you, they most likely will try to write something that helps you.

I would not consider someone who acted like this to be a real friend. You can be civil acquaintances...but I don't think you could trust her to really care about you, except perhaps insofar as how you could be of benefit to her. Friends support and encourage each other. It's fine to tell a friend that you just need to be alone to process stuff. It's not fine to treat a friend like garbage.

I met with representatives of a number of programs before I applied to graduate school. I had been out of school a long time and had areas of weakness that I was aware of. What I wanted from the meetings was to find out what qualifications they were looking for and if they had any recommendations on how I could make myself a more attractive applicant. The meetings all went well (although one was funny -- the guy at first didn't seem to know what to make of me, and didn't really take me seriously until he heard my GRE scores and that I had done some recent courses). It also gave them a chance to tell me about their programs, and I decided not to apply to a couple after hearing more detailed information than I'd been able to collect online (realized their areas of strength did not align with my interests as well as I'd thought they might).