Henry Hudson

I too have been quite overwhelmed, and even missed a great fellowship opportunity as a result. Anxiety and depression have been sometimes crippling. I've resumed counseling. It's a tough balance, but you have to find a way that works for you: prioritization, positive reinforcement on your own abilities and accomplishments, peer support.... find every tool at your disposal. If you need someone to kick you in the arse, maybe ask someone you trust and respect outside of the program to do so.

I currently have a half-hour commute (if connections align. otherwise, about 45+ min. I generally allow an hour). I live 2 blocks from the metro, and take that halfway. The other half is bus, but in the mornings that bus is packed solid.... often with line-ups leftover for the next buses. Of the 4 routes that go to campus, this is the one that really bottlenecks, but the other 3 don't really work that well from where I live. Other than peak times, it's not a bad commute, though. The train is nice and the bus route is scenic (when you can sit down and look out the windows). I have to do the sardine routine on Fridays (my early morning) but avoiding other morning commitments, I will now be heading in around lunchtime on other days. Doing the sardine trip several times a week got old very quickly. I have no car (and don't really need one here), and as parking is quite pricey on campus, it's just as well. I am thinking of getting into grad housing next year, but we'll see. My U grad population is large enough that the grad residences are entities unto them selves, but apparently there is the screaming-baby issue of grads with young families.

'buyer's remorse' is not uncommon during our first term or two, especially if one of our first courses is less going than fantastic. stick it out. give it time. trust your wife; even if she didn't have the same thoughts, she likely knew several who did.

if you need to have new paperwork processed, you will likely have to go to a major crossing. Once you have everything set, you can use any crossing.

I'm more familiar with the reverse (heading into Canada from the US). If it's your first entry, choose a major crossing (Interstate highway). small backroads crossings generally don't have the paperwork to process international students.

sorry to nitpick, but the US government does not always consider state IDs to be US government IDs, and one actually can hold state IDs without a visa in certain cases. There have been stinks made about illegal immigrants who have been able to to get state IDs. It's great you had no problem with using a state ID, but I'd hate for anyone to be barred from a flight for not having a passport along.

I agree with the others. you'll be more solid polishing and adding onto a chapter already vetted than starting anew.

agreed. anyone can be broad; specific is good. not just in description/evidence, but show your analysis, too.

Ad-comms know there's more to a person than GPA and test scores (well, maybe not Ivy League schools locked into meritocracy mode). They are profs who want to work with energized, motivated, capable students first and foremost, not to brag about how many students with 4.0s they've recruited. You'll bring experiences to the table that book-smarts and straight-As can't measure up to. In my MA cohort of 17, we had one in her 50s, two of us in our 40s, a few in their 30s, and several more late-20s. Only 3 to 5 were 22-year-olds.

In US PhD programs, it's quite normal to dive right into a PhD program, and get the MA along the way as part of that same program. Funding is always better for a PhD prog. In the US, it's rare to have a well-funded MA program (I had to go to Canada for one). you're definitely a quality candidate, much stronger than you seem to give yourself credit for. you have some real life experience but yet are still fairly young. you have language, experience (in professional life and in your country of focus), and have used and developed skills in a related field. That your 2 upper years in BA skew higher also look good; it shows you improved as a student, not slacked off. Even your background in Antiquity gives you an additional contextual frame of reference, which will serve you better than it may currently seem. You have a solid idea of where you're heading, you've made a key connection with the UCR prof; now you just need to jump through a few hoops. re: LORs: 2 acad + n non-acad is a fine ratio. plenty of people returning from the workforce have similar circumstances. since you've already lined up a prof who presumably is just as interested in having you on board, that is a huge 'in.' At decision time, he will be able to speak up for you; finding a good student/prof pairing is a key part of the dept ad-comm process, and can get you in even better than someone with a better GRE who has no direct fit. with the revamped GREs, this is a good time in that GRE scores won't be as critical - they have to allow for quirks as the new format gets worked out. The GREs will get you through the U admissions office; your writing (and your supervisor, already lined up) will get you the rest of the way. I think you're in a quite excellent position. UCR may not be a Harvard, but since it is an opportunity to work with a key person in your field, that counts much more than going to a 'name' school that doesn't fit your area. Your supervisor will open doors within your field; if you really need the 'name' school for the CV, you can save that for a postdoc. you've got a solid plan, I'd say. You can certainly still check out San D, of course; even if it's a better program and you go there, it can still be possible to work with the UCR prof in some capacity. And if you get into both, you can weigh offers, and even see if the lower one will up the ante (this can sound awkward, but it's actually quite common. My new supervisor encouraged me to do that so she could up my offer. and it worked!).

If you're interested in Canada at all, the Royal Military College of Canada has MA and PhD Programs, not in History per se, but the War Studies PhD certainly dovetails into History nicely. http://www.rmc.ca/aca/ws-eg/tim-hor/index-eng.asp

your recommenders can vouch for your skills as a student, even if they're not connected to your new interest. switching interests does not invalidate them. people do switch interests, and even disciplines, between degrees. In my History cohort, one woman's background was English; Another's was Anthropology. A couple people arrived thinking they're doing Late Medieval/Early Modern and wind up doing 20th Century and even Antiquity. One woman doing Contact-era Native History had no prior coursework in it. Changes happen. you could apply based on Late Antiquity, and then switch gears. But given the general lack of schools with that specialty, I think you'd be better off applying directly for what you want, and explain how you came to it. Latin American History seems like a more opportune avenue. The abbreviated story you gave us could easily be a compelling brief narrative of self-discovery explaining why you came to your current interests. I think you'd be a stronger candidate; the worse case scenario is that you might have to take a couple extra background courses, depending on the institution/program's standards. in fact, you could do that anyway during the year between now and 2012. good luck!

yow. I've only had that for a 2-week module within a larger class, a brand-new lecturer in a course full of rotating lecturers. I like some of the above ideas. I've sometimes begun sessions by getting them to discuss what they did get out of the lectures/readings, to establish a common starting point for discussions. I also knew a bit about the topic in question, so I could off the top of my head discuss omissions and answer questions. For a topic I didn't know as well, I might take notes of their confusions, and address them the week after once I looked into them (or brushed up). If you've TAed for this before, you may well already have this knowledge; that will be helpful (to new TAs as well, of you communicate with each other for support). I'd also diplomatically address this with your students at the outset. Without calling the prof any names, you can tell them you've TAed this course before, and as someone who was an undergrad more recently than the prof, you're aware that the his style may not be as user-friendly as he thinks it may be. Let them know you are not dittoing Dr. Nogood, nor are you directly criticizing him; that way they may be more open from the outset about coming to you about any confusion. you thus become a resource for them, someone on their side - not another obstacle (as you might by remaining silent or by criticizing the prof before they get a sense for him). even though it means more work, I'd organize a mutual support session with other TAs who have to deal with this to discuss common strategies. Early in the term before they're too bogged down in their current assignments, I'd bring in TAs who are also in the rotation on other terms; it's to all your benefit to share strategies on this, as sooner or later they'll be stuck there again too. If you are grading their papers and exams, you can even circumvent his instructions (this will be easier if you and the other TAs fond a united front, and can at least informally tell the department heads who admit Prof Nogood is incompetent). It will take some extra effort, but the best way to deal with the prof is to marginalize him as much as possible. It is also an opportunity to really adjust the course to your own criteria rather than remain stuck. Remember, fortune favors the bold! Good luck.

A friend of mine (who posts here infrequently) arrived to start his MA on a certain topic; the same month of his arrival a book was published covering the exact same subject from the exact same approach. Luckily, it was early enough to switch topics.

my core course had 17 people, and for a grad course, that was waaaaay too big. for grad school, smaller is better. everyone has to pull their weight and participate. larger classes do not equate to more people to lean off of; the prof has to spend more time speaking generally and only those most in love with their own voices (while saying nothing that relates to anyone studying something different) dominate discussions.

I like academia.edu, but it's not universal enough to a point I'd be on it regularly. haven't heard much about Google+ yet, but my patience with FB is wearing thin.

I was thinking of making comparisons, drawing correlations to earler, pre-Internet whistleblowing. I don't know enough specifics, other than that there is a long history of whistleblowing. Roberta Johnson's book Whistleblowing: When it Works and Why might be a good starting place. and you could raid her bibliography for more sources/ideas.

some more traditionalist Unis consider 50+ years necessary to be History. That aside, there is work being done on the 80s nowadays, although it kinda steps on the heels often of other disciplines: cultural studies, poli sci, etc, in that 80s topics were often being studied as current events. but there are opportunities. A friend of mine as a historian is studying the Reagan admin, which thus far, in a historical context, is mostly poli-sci hagiographies, so he has a wide opportunity to critique. try to find a way to really root a 20-year old recent topic into History: historical context of the events themselves, historical consciousness pertaining to Event X, or even critiquing the approaches of well-studied topics like the Rodney King beating and place those scholars and their works into a historical context. the cyber group Anonymous is still active, so might be hard; you work might be obsolete before it's completed (unless you wanted to link it to precursor groups, whistle-blowers/resisters etc).

I've been in a similar place as you. my own experience: There have been two kinds of loans for grad students through the US Student Loan program, only one of which could be used outside the country. The one that could be used here in Canada was, until about 15 months ago, run through third-party providers (banks) with US backing. About 15 months ago, to cut costs and improve efficiency, the Obama admin brought that program back in-house, cutting out the third party providers. For small/medium universities with few US students like Trent, where I've been, it was apparently too big a headache to continue; about 5 of us are due to finish up shortly and anyone new is out of luck - they'll need to do private loans (through US banks). For bigger schools, or those with more US students, they are likely continuing in the US loan program. I would check with your Uni's financial aid dept to make sure, though.

selective skimming, definitely: intro, conclusion, table of contents, and prioritize from there. I also look up a couple of academic reviews of the books beforehand, to give me a heads-up on what to look out for. Scholarly reviews are useful roadmaps for driving through terra incognito.

I agree about swapping, and about not taking more than 3 at once. Grad school does take getting used to, and TAing does take up time, too.

While generally true, it should be noted there are college towns where the campus is quite distant from town proper, and public transit can be spotty. Summer can be awkward as well; grad students may still need to use campus facilities but Sept-May student-oriented bus runs may not operate in summer. Newer campuses can be out in remote rural or suburban areas with roadways unfriendly to anything but cars. College town does not automatically equate to being easy to live without a car. that said, Ithaca, despite its hills, seems pretty good to me as an occasional visitor.

you actually can shift topics once you're in an MA program. Think of your statement of purpose as a chance to show you can propose a cohesive, feasible, interesting, well-thought-out topic. you can use your breadth of coursework as an advantage. Transnational perspectives are big these days (and yes, Cnada-India does seem like a rich connection to explore); and World War II from the perspectives of one or more subaltern cultures seems like an opportune way to delve in. I recall reading a South American scholar comment that it wasn't really a 'world war' for everyone. at 28, you're still young. I started my MA at 41. many people have a bad patch. just going back, facing it and doing better says volumes in and of itself. profs generally like to see students bounce back from troubled periods, whatever their reason. It shows character and commitment. I'm sure many Canadian Unis would accept you. In my MA cohort here in Ontario, out of 17, we had me (from the US), one woman from Botswana, and a man from Spain. Your English seems to be no obstacle; just polish your writing sample and you'll probably easily find a spot. Just check ahead to find out what sort of funding packages international students can get. At York, for instance, there is no international fee waiver, while here at Trent, as I understand it, the differential is going to be trimmed, and internationals students might not be able to TA in the future. In western Canada, there seems to be less restrictions on international students.

state funding may indeed vary - that's often set by politicians who want to offer benefits to home-grown students. but admissions-wise, it's very common for state unis to accept out-of-state applicants. They don't want to penalize you, and if they really want you they may have funding opportunities well beyond the in-state $ you've seen listed. especially if you have another offer in-hand from somewhere else that they could match in order to keep you. Schools want best quality grad students; politicians are dancing to political whims, not the unis' wishes.

get as specific as you can; your broader themes can serve as context. But if you don't have something specific, you look like you are rudderless. Find a specific artist or small set of artists to focus on; he/she/they (and their work) are your primary sources (along with their influences, or perhaps a comparable artist from the prior generation of music), It can be done. I know a woman who did something similar on Aboriginal Canadian Hip-hop.