jeffster

One tip I want to add, now that I've completed my first year of PhD work, is that you have to develop a certain level of... I'll call it apathy.  This has been a consistent theme when I speak with others in my program as well.
 
What do I mean by apathy?  Well, at the start of your first year doing PhD work you'll likely be somewhat frantic.  Everything must be perfect!  You must study all of the hours!  If you don't you will fail!
 
For me, the realization hit right after my first midterms.  I was just so tired from the pace I was forcing on myself that I couldn't do it anymore.  I started the second half of the term feeling like I wasn't doing enough, but was too tired to change it.  But as things progressed, I realized I was getting basically the same marks on my work.  Then finals came, and... again, basically the same scores. 
 
I think what I observed was probably due to two things:  First, you trade off a little less work for a lot more relaxation, and it balances out.  Second, I think the key is to identify diminishing returns.  For example, I had a professor who assigned really long problem sets of increasing difficulty, one a week, all semester long.  I found I could put in 25 hours or so and get a 9 out of 10... or I could put in 10 hours and get an 8.25 out of 10.  And combined they were only worth 10% of your grade, anyway.  There were way, way more productive things I could use those extra 15 hours a week for than gaining another tiny fraction on my final grade.  Your situations may vary, of course, but I think most PhD programs will require more of you than there is to give over a sustained period, and it will be up to you to figure out how to manage.
 
In short, learn to give up the idea of perfection in favor of doing well + keeping your sanity.  It's not worth the pending emotional breakdown if you try to sustain an unsustainable pace the entire time!

One thing that has worked for me in the past, when faced with way too much unstructured time, was to go out of my way to put myself in situations with deadlines.  I don't mean the sort of soft deadline where you say to yourself "I'll finish this by July 27th!" and then don't, whereupon you just feel even worse about yourself.  I mean something involving external commitments.  For example, does your department have regular speaker or presentation series?  See if you can volunteer to present yours.  Are there people at your institution or in your town that you don't necessarily know, but that you could set up meetings with to talk about your work?
 
Basically the motivation to MAKE these hard deadlines hit you is easier to come by than the motivation to just flat-out do the work.  At least it is for me!
 
Edit:  The important thing is to know that it's not at ALL unusual to need deadlines to be productive, you shouldn't feel bad or deficient because of it, and you can turn it into a strength.

Pressure and insecurity about the future are not good reasons to apply to graduate school. The main thing I gather from reading your post is that you're really not sure of yourself but grad school just seems like the "logical next step." I think you need to get yourself out of this mode and do some soul searching. A good approach is to try and reverse-engineer this problem: what kind of job/career would you like to have in the future? (are you sure? have you talked to people who have similar positions, read about the position, know that you understand what it's really like?) what kind of qualifications do you need to have in order to obtain such a job? does it require a Masters or PhD, and if so, in what field? That is, think of a graduate degree is a means to an end, not a goal in and of itself. Figure out your goals and then how to obtain them. Don't apply to grad school out of inertia -- it's hard enough even when you're very passionate about what you do, and even more if you're not that excited about it to begin with.

Sigaba, I'm afraid I can't tell if you're just trolling, or if you're really this unfamiliar with how internet forums work. The effectiveness of a forum is undermined when no one posts; it is not undermined by people posting similar questions. I'm pretty new here, but I don't think most of us view this as a information repository so much as we view it as a discussion community. There are a lot of reasons that users should post new threads, which TakeruK outlined quite thoroughly above. In fact, a perfectly valid reply from you would have said "Hey, you can also check out these past threads on this topic. Good luck!" That would have been something a helpful member of a forum community would do. Unfortunately you chose to share some links then couple it with a rant equating poor (in your mind) internet forum behavior to grad school research habits.

And just to avoid contributing even further to the hijacking of this thread, I'll add for the OP that I don't think you should give your dog away. There's another thread around here somewhere about pets in grad school - plenty of people manage it!

My goodness, the pictures from Dal PhDer and bluetubeodyssey just make me want to scratch those bellies. The bunnies are cute, but I wouldn't trust my dog around them! She's grown up with cats, but she loves to chase critters she sees outside.

Also, since everyone liked her, here's another shot of Misty in the car on the way up north a few years ago. She's a goofy puppy in an adult dog's body.

I love it, perusing this thread quickly exhausted my daily supply of up votes. Here's my little dober-girl, Misty. She's been with my parents for the last year and a half while I live over seas, but once I take stock of how grad school goes I'll look at moving her in. Although now she's so used to having my parents two dogs around, and their big yard, I might feel terrible trying to move her to a small apartment in the city!

Yes, this! Actually I think it's MORE about the change in attitude that comes with dressing nice and cleaning up, than it is about the actual dressing up or cleaning up itself. To turn it around, if I see a woman in something very attractive, but she is clearly very uncomfortable in it (for example, constantly tugging at a skirt that is too short), then it ruins the whole effect. Whereas if the same woman had just scaled it back a bit and worn something she was comfortable in, then her attitude would more than make up the difference. It's not about the clothes - no one wants to date clothes. It's about the overall impression those clothes contribute to. This is why posture is so important as well.

This can be great advice! I was never particularly shy nor extroverted; I never had problems meeting women nor did I go through women like crazy, the way some friends did. However, I had a good friend at university who was extremely introverted and had never had a girlfriend, or even anything close. He ended up with a random roommate who was a great guy, but really quite a playboy. Within one semester of hanging out with him, my nerdy friend was looking quite a bit more respectable, and by the time we all graduated he had had several good relationships. Obviously finding a friend who is more extroverted and has an easy time with the fairer sex is easier said than done, but it's something to keep in mind.

Also, you don't actually need to do special things to meet women - they make up more than half the population! Put the idea of "meeting a girlfriend" out of your mind and just think about meeting people. Even meeting other guys (as mentioned above) expands your social circles and leads to meeting more girls in the long run. Rather than forcing an opportunity to ask someone on a date, this way you'll find someone with whom chemistry makes it a natural progression.

And lastly, think about your appearance. If you pay no attention at all to your own looks and style, then that usually comes across to the people you meet. There are lots of easy ways to address this - ditch t-shirts for shirts with a collar, old jeans for new jeans, stop slouching, don't shuffle when you walk, etc. Whatever you wear doesn't have to be fancy or expensive, just make sure it's clean and wrinkle-free. Like it or not, our appearance is the first chance most of us have to make an impression, and it should at least not be off-putting.

People keep agreeing, but just to add to it, you can definitely get into a grad school ranked far above your undergrad school, but it does require stepping things up. A friend of mine did his econ undergrad at a state university ranked in the low 30s nationally, then got into MIT which is generally ranked number 1 in the world for econ. But he did it by getting good grades, building relationships with professors who would stand for him, and doing research.

People meet significant-others in their work/school environment ALL the time, as has been stated, since it's one of your main sources of socialization. Honestly, I suspect the "whether it works out or not" thing for any given individual is directly proportional to the number relationships from anywhere for that individual that end in huge flaming messes.

If you're on speaking terms with a majority of your exes, go for it. If you can't break up with someone wtihout tipping off WWIII, don't go for it.

As for the online dating part, it went well for me. The first date it set me up with was this woman who worked on the assembly line for General Motors, had a high school diploma and was a right-leaning republican, when I'm a left-leaning guy who has been in academia for ages. I only went because it was the first match it suggested and I wanted to figure out what they thought they saw here. Needless to say it didn't make it to date number two! But then my second match I ended up marrying.

So, I guess a 50% success rate is pretty good in this regard!

Sigaba, I'm afraid I can't tell if you're just trolling, or if you're really this unfamiliar with how internet forums work. The effectiveness of a forum is undermined when no one posts; it is not undermined by people posting similar questions. I'm pretty new here, but I don't think most of us view this as a information repository so much as we view it as a discussion community. There are a lot of reasons that users should post new threads, which TakeruK outlined quite thoroughly above. In fact, a perfectly valid reply from you would have said "Hey, you can also check out these past threads on this topic. Good luck!" That would have been something a helpful member of a forum community would do. Unfortunately you chose to share some links then couple it with a rant equating poor (in your mind) internet forum behavior to grad school research habits.

And just to avoid contributing even further to the hijacking of this thread, I'll add for the OP that I don't think you should give your dog away. There's another thread around here somewhere about pets in grad school - plenty of people manage it!

I've always had a hard time finding shirts that fit me. They're either too baggy around the body with sleeves that are right, or the sleeves are too short and the body fits right. That all changed when I moved to Europe though. There aren't very many of them in the States I don't think, but over here the store Zara has button-up shirts that fit like they were made just for me. Great for the tall skinny types, and not overly expensive either.

Anyway, I think the OP is on the right track! Don't underestimate dressing decently. Unless you talk on the phone a lot, the way you look is the first real impression you make on nearly everyone you meet. Some people will weigh it more than others, of course, but the way you've dressed will also affect the way you carry and present yourself unconsciously. If you roll out of bed without a shower, throw on shorts and a Justin Bieber t-shirt and head out, that will change your bearing for the worse the whole day. Make your minimum attire jeans without holes and something other than a t-shirt, and you've already started off on the right foot.

And it doesn't have to be expensive, or all done in one grand shopping spree! if you're like me you hate shopping - you just want nice things in your closet ready to go. So just gradually improve your wardrobe over time, discarding the worst of it and adding new pieces. Unlike women, we don't really need pre-planned "outfits." Find one nice shirt, next month get a nice pair of jeans, the next a pair of shoes that aren't sneakers, etc. Much easier on the budget and on your shopping-nerves that way.

Oh, and get one black belt and one brown belt, then one pair of black leather shoes and another of brown. If you have matching black and brown leathers, you can basically wear damn near any combo of other things and it works, from suits to jeans.

Yes, this! Actually I think it's MORE about the change in attitude that comes with dressing nice and cleaning up, than it is about the actual dressing up or cleaning up itself. To turn it around, if I see a woman in something very attractive, but she is clearly very uncomfortable in it (for example, constantly tugging at a skirt that is too short), then it ruins the whole effect. Whereas if the same woman had just scaled it back a bit and worn something she was comfortable in, then her attitude would more than make up the difference. It's not about the clothes - no one wants to date clothes. It's about the overall impression those clothes contribute to. This is why posture is so important as well.

Sigaba, I'm afraid I can't tell if you're just trolling, or if you're really this unfamiliar with how internet forums work. The effectiveness of a forum is undermined when no one posts; it is not undermined by people posting similar questions. I'm pretty new here, but I don't think most of us view this as a information repository so much as we view it as a discussion community. There are a lot of reasons that users should post new threads, which TakeruK outlined quite thoroughly above. In fact, a perfectly valid reply from you would have said "Hey, you can also check out these past threads on this topic. Good luck!" That would have been something a helpful member of a forum community would do. Unfortunately you chose to share some links then couple it with a rant equating poor (in your mind) internet forum behavior to grad school research habits.

And just to avoid contributing even further to the hijacking of this thread, I'll add for the OP that I don't think you should give your dog away. There's another thread around here somewhere about pets in grad school - plenty of people manage it!

Ouch. You should reconsider your career in environmental studies and go for political punditry. With an attitude like that, you could be on Fox!

Here's the thing. Some secrets are kept because they're shameful. Others are kept because they're private.

While you apparently don't have filter between your personal life and your identity as an academic and while you may scoff at the notion that you should, your "open" approach to your past has the potential of unintended consequences. It is a buyer's market right now. Given the choice between a candidate who has "absolutely nothing to hide" and one who demonstrates a degree of discretion who is going to be a better fit in an environment in which an appreciation for privacy is vital to the building of relationships centered around mentoring? Add to this mix the growing concern about the impact of HIPPA-related concerns (and costs) and the focus on risk management in an environment increasingly driven by a corporate-mindset.

Yes, one could say "Well, I wouldn't want to go to a program that doesn't want me for who I am--unfiltered" but one never quite knows when one is applying to a program that has had experiences with "unfiltered" graduate students (and junior faculty), and has made a blanket decision to go with "filtered." History departments don't advertise these kinds of misadventures to applicants. They just distribute shovels to the faculty--and some graduate students--and say "dig a hole and bury this."

Also, you are profoundly over estimating your anonymity on the internet. If historians know how to do anything, they know how to do research.

But then, as you say, you have "absolutely nothing to hide."

Yet, that statement raises questions. Why have you started a thread on the best way to spin your health issues? By seeking ways to discuss your health issues, you're attempting to shape the narrative of your academic career in your favor. If you have nothing to hide then why are you looking for ways to not let your grades speak for themselves? (It is this glaring disconnect that I was attempting to bring to your attention by suggesting that you scrub your OP.)

Unrelated, but since the offending post above mine got deleted, it looks like I want someone to ban jeffster...

Right, LOL.

Yeah, it makes sense to think of it as age brackets. I just hope he's not attached already 'cause I have the biggest 16-year-old crush on him.

My goodness, the pictures from Dal PhDer and bluetubeodyssey just make me want to scratch those bellies. The bunnies are cute, but I wouldn't trust my dog around them! She's grown up with cats, but she loves to chase critters she sees outside.

Also, since everyone liked her, here's another shot of Misty in the car on the way up north a few years ago. She's a goofy puppy in an adult dog's body.

Really now, this thread is amazing to me. Of all the stupid shit celebrities do, you're mad at James Franco for going to school? Seriously?

He certainly has no obligation to prove his qualifications to the public. The public doesn't vote on who gets to go to Yale! (but seriously, vote for me please) The only legitimate line of questioning here at all is whether or not you liked his published work. Perfectly valid if not. You could even then draw a valid conclusion that it reflects poorly on the school when an alumnus of theirs does bad work.

But other than that, all these rumors do a disservice to academia, and make everyone look extremely catty. Really now, you read a post on the interwebs from a guy who knows a guy who had a class with him who said he skips class a lot and hits on girls? Astonishing.

My opinion: I will tutor him in any subject he wants...mmmmhmm!

Really now, this thread is amazing to me. Of all the stupid shit celebrities do, you're mad at James Franco for going to school? Seriously?

He certainly has no obligation to prove his qualifications to the public. The public doesn't vote on who gets to go to Yale! (but seriously, vote for me please) The only legitimate line of questioning here at all is whether or not you liked his published work. Perfectly valid if not. You could even then draw a valid conclusion that it reflects poorly on the school when an alumnus of theirs does bad work.

But other than that, all these rumors do a disservice to academia, and make everyone look extremely catty. Really now, you read a post on the interwebs from a guy who knows a guy who had a class with him who said he skips class a lot and hits on girls? Astonishing.

Just thought I would pass this link on to everyone. Great to read while you're working on applications just to make sure that you're not inadvertently conveying the wrong impression.

http://www.unl.edu/psypage/psichi/Graduate_School_Application_Kisses_of_Death.pdf

I would have to echo what a few others have said: it seems like a very bad idea right now, unless the reason is extreme. After all, your MS isn't the end of your career; it's the very beginning. You're potentially starting off on the wrong foot with another top school this way. Plus as others have pointed out, you generally don't move from a PhD to an MS...

So, if it's just a case of cold feet, stick with Berkeley. If there's actually a serious reason behind this, then maybe that's something else.

I would have to echo what a few others have said: it seems like a very bad idea right now, unless the reason is extreme. After all, your MS isn't the end of your career; it's the very beginning. You're potentially starting off on the wrong foot with another top school this way. Plus as others have pointed out, you generally don't move from a PhD to an MS...

So, if it's just a case of cold feet, stick with Berkeley. If there's actually a serious reason behind this, then maybe that's something else.