kaputzing

I disagree. They can definitely hurt an otherwise stellar application if the adcoms read something in there that makes them think (extreme example) that you're an arrogant prick who isn't aware of his own privileges. There's a very real chance that the statement may rub the adcom the wrong way if they haven't had their cup of coffee in the morning, etc.

If you have something to say, submit one. If you don't, don't try to twist your past into something that fits what you think they're looking for. If I'd had a choice to opt out of these, I would, even as someone who falls into multiple minority groups and has done work for minority communities, simply because I don't think my minority status has ever disadvantaged me or had a great effect on my decision to pursue higher education.

I have little of worth to add to what's already been said. You do have a space, but you'll have to carve it for yourself, and you'll (probably) have to be extraordinarily careful with what you say/write.
 
Though it gets just as irritating from the other side as well. If you're female/LGBTQ and you're interested in gender studies or -- to come up with a slightly more innocent example -- you're Asian-American and you're interested in East Asian politics, sometimes you end up being pegged as someone who has a stake in the outcome, and that carries with it its own problems and assumptions about your research (i.e. you're not "objective" enough, as if objectivity is something to strive for in all cases).

It sounds audacious, but I suspect it's rather standard practice. I actually got an email from one of my schools that urged me to "discuss possibilities" with them before making my final decision.

Be careful about correspondence. I think I actually offended one of my POIs in my tiny, tiny field.

(This is what happens when you try to politely inquire if they are retiring due to the numerous rumors floating around, and they not only don't answer your unspoken question but also take it the wrong way.)

I have little of worth to add to what's already been said. You do have a space, but you'll have to carve it for yourself, and you'll (probably) have to be extraordinarily careful with what you say/write.
 
Though it gets just as irritating from the other side as well. If you're female/LGBTQ and you're interested in gender studies or -- to come up with a slightly more innocent example -- you're Asian-American and you're interested in East Asian politics, sometimes you end up being pegged as someone who has a stake in the outcome, and that carries with it its own problems and assumptions about your research (i.e. you're not "objective" enough, as if objectivity is something to strive for in all cases).

I have little of worth to add to what's already been said. You do have a space, but you'll have to carve it for yourself, and you'll (probably) have to be extraordinarily careful with what you say/write.
 
Though it gets just as irritating from the other side as well. If you're female/LGBTQ and you're interested in gender studies or -- to come up with a slightly more innocent example -- you're Asian-American and you're interested in East Asian politics, sometimes you end up being pegged as someone who has a stake in the outcome, and that carries with it its own problems and assumptions about your research (i.e. you're not "objective" enough, as if objectivity is something to strive for in all cases).

I can't speak about grad housing, though I have heard generally good things about it, and the prices are competitive with the surrounding properties.
 
The further west you go, the cheaper the housing will be and the more you will get for your buck, especially if you're not adverse to living with roommates. There are some really great places going for as cheap as $450 a month northwest of campus, which includes A/C, heat, in-unit laundry, electricity, gas, hot water, and internet. The problem is, of course, the further west you go, the farther you will be to almost everything. You won't be close to the school (~15-20 minute walk which is not terrible, but you'll hate it in the winter), and you won't be all that close to groceries, though you will be moderately close to the bus stop depending on where you live (but some of the bus routes go in loops, so it can still be inconvenient, either getting to campus or back). If you are looking at specific streets, I can probably say more about how convenient it is to live there by location.
 
South of 60th street, prices also get lower, because that area is generally considered to be less safe. I haven't lived down there, so I can't say for certain how dangerous it is. Location-wise, it's not terribly convenient either. There are basically no grocery stores south of 57th street, unless you want to consider University-owned convenience stores "grocery stores." (The two main ones in Hyde Park are located on 55th and 53rd, so if you want to buy groceries, you will probably end up having to take the bus.)
 
The further east you go towards the lake, the pricier the apartments will become, as East Hyde Park is where most of the stores and shops are located. Woodlawn and Kimbark are known as the "ghetto" areas. By "ghetto," I simply mean that lots of undergrads tend to live there, so the units are typically in poorer condition, and it might get loud in the buildings due to parties, etc. You will have more access to the 6 bus (which goes downtown) if you live close to S. Hyde Park Blvd., and if you live on 55th, you'll also pretty much get direct access to the 171 and 55, both of which take you right to campus (and back as well). Lots of restaurants, shops, cafes, etc. to the east, and the groceries are close by.
 
North ... it can get inconvenient unless you live near a 172 bus stop and along the evening shuttle route. I wouldn't go north of 51st, personally, and there are a few crimes as well (though mostly petty crimes), since some streets can get pretty deserted.
 
I've heard decent things about Mayfair, but I've also heard that their management has gotten pretty bad recently. Mac always gets terrible reviews (which is unfortunate, since they own most of the property in the area). There's also Kass Management Company, which likewise has gotten less than stellar reviews (but they are not absolutely terrible if you're willing to be firm with them, I've heard), and they seem to own some pretty nice properties/locations east of the university if you're willing to put up with them ...
 
Also, there's always Regents, if you're willing to shell out a little more money and if you're willing to basically take the bus all the time to get to and from campus.

I can't speak about grad housing, though I have heard generally good things about it, and the prices are competitive with the surrounding properties.
 
The further west you go, the cheaper the housing will be and the more you will get for your buck, especially if you're not adverse to living with roommates. There are some really great places going for as cheap as $450 a month northwest of campus, which includes A/C, heat, in-unit laundry, electricity, gas, hot water, and internet. The problem is, of course, the further west you go, the farther you will be to almost everything. You won't be close to the school (~15-20 minute walk which is not terrible, but you'll hate it in the winter), and you won't be all that close to groceries, though you will be moderately close to the bus stop depending on where you live (but some of the bus routes go in loops, so it can still be inconvenient, either getting to campus or back). If you are looking at specific streets, I can probably say more about how convenient it is to live there by location.
 
South of 60th street, prices also get lower, because that area is generally considered to be less safe. I haven't lived down there, so I can't say for certain how dangerous it is. Location-wise, it's not terribly convenient either. There are basically no grocery stores south of 57th street, unless you want to consider University-owned convenience stores "grocery stores." (The two main ones in Hyde Park are located on 55th and 53rd, so if you want to buy groceries, you will probably end up having to take the bus.)
 
The further east you go towards the lake, the pricier the apartments will become, as East Hyde Park is where most of the stores and shops are located. Woodlawn and Kimbark are known as the "ghetto" areas. By "ghetto," I simply mean that lots of undergrads tend to live there, so the units are typically in poorer condition, and it might get loud in the buildings due to parties, etc. You will have more access to the 6 bus (which goes downtown) if you live close to S. Hyde Park Blvd., and if you live on 55th, you'll also pretty much get direct access to the 171 and 55, both of which take you right to campus (and back as well). Lots of restaurants, shops, cafes, etc. to the east, and the groceries are close by.
 
North ... it can get inconvenient unless you live near a 172 bus stop and along the evening shuttle route. I wouldn't go north of 51st, personally, and there are a few crimes as well (though mostly petty crimes), since some streets can get pretty deserted.
 
I've heard decent things about Mayfair, but I've also heard that their management has gotten pretty bad recently. Mac always gets terrible reviews (which is unfortunate, since they own most of the property in the area). There's also Kass Management Company, which likewise has gotten less than stellar reviews (but they are not absolutely terrible if you're willing to be firm with them, I've heard), and they seem to own some pretty nice properties/locations east of the university if you're willing to put up with them ...
 
Also, there's always Regents, if you're willing to shell out a little more money and if you're willing to basically take the bus all the time to get to and from campus.

I was also discouraged from applying to UK programs, since they are purportedly not as rigorous for my field; while they churn out many PhDs due to the shorter time frame, I've been told that they also churn out many horrible dissertations for the same reasons, which may hurt someone on the job market. (Note: I can't say whether or not this is true! I was told this by scholars who got their degrees both in the US and in Germany, and I was encouraged to focus on US applications and to think about the UK options later if my options in the US were not good enough.)

But my field requires a solid basis in language work, and my languages are not to the level that I'd feel comfortable having my supervisor showing me to the library and then saying, "See you in three years!"
 
... yes, that might be a good way to look at it. OP, how would you feel if you were just dropped off at the library and told to hand in your dissertation in three years? If you're confident, go. If not, then I'd recommend against it. You may be able to still study at Cambridge for a time even while attending CUNY depending on where your research takes you.

I strongly disagree. I don't think this is a legitimate question at all, unless it comes from someone who has a seriously lacking understanding of right and wrong and an equally lacking ability to analyze potential risks and consequences that stem from bad behavior. Perhaps my language was strong, but the OP's stance is just so far beyond the limits of reasonable adult behavior that it is unbelievable to me. The assertion that an advisor, let alone a professor, would suggest this is equally outrageous. Under no circumstances could I even imagine an academic, regardless of nationality or origin, giving such advice. 

The OP is obviously trolling, because no one with half a lobotomized brain would even conceive of doing this let alone actually do it. Everything about this idea reeks of sheer stupidity and immorality, and I'm willing to bet real money the OP is just here to jerk everyone's chains.
 
Move along, folks. If this idiot actually is considering doing this, then he/she deserves to get be screwed later on, blacklisted professionally, and kicked out of both PhDs. So simboxon, if you want to do it, by all means go ahead. 

I was also discouraged from applying to UK programs, since they are purportedly not as rigorous for my field; while they churn out many PhDs due to the shorter time frame, I've been told that they also churn out many horrible dissertations for the same reasons, which may hurt someone on the job market. (Note: I can't say whether or not this is true! I was told this by scholars who got their degrees both in the US and in Germany, and I was encouraged to focus on US applications and to think about the UK options later if my options in the US were not good enough.)

But my field requires a solid basis in language work, and my languages are not to the level that I'd feel comfortable having my supervisor showing me to the library and then saying, "See you in three years!"
 
... yes, that might be a good way to look at it. OP, how would you feel if you were just dropped off at the library and told to hand in your dissertation in three years? If you're confident, go. If not, then I'd recommend against it. You may be able to still study at Cambridge for a time even while attending CUNY depending on where your research takes you.

I was also discouraged from applying to UK programs, since they are purportedly not as rigorous for my field; while they churn out many PhDs due to the shorter time frame, I've been told that they also churn out many horrible dissertations for the same reasons, which may hurt someone on the job market. (Note: I can't say whether or not this is true! I was told this by scholars who got their degrees both in the US and in Germany, and I was encouraged to focus on US applications and to think about the UK options later if my options in the US were not good enough.)

But my field requires a solid basis in language work, and my languages are not to the level that I'd feel comfortable having my supervisor showing me to the library and then saying, "See you in three years!"
 
... yes, that might be a good way to look at it. OP, how would you feel if you were just dropped off at the library and told to hand in your dissertation in three years? If you're confident, go. If not, then I'd recommend against it. You may be able to still study at Cambridge for a time even while attending CUNY depending on where your research takes you.

That's something I wrote in a different thread (this one: ). As such, I agree with it!
 
However, I don't think that choosing to stay at one's alma mater is automatically the "wrong choice." There could be several compelling reasons to do so. Perhaps it's the only program that offered good funding. Or perhaps the research fit at all of one's other schools is significantly less ideal than the fit at one's alma mater. Maybe it's even the only school that has a strong program in your field of interest (a real concern for those of us in pretty obscure fields). You definitely shouldn't choose a program that is a poor fit for you academically just for the sake of choosing a new school. If your alma mater really is the best fit for you, or if it's really the only choice that makes sense financially/professionally/for whatever other reason, then you should stay there for your PhD. I don't think staying at the same school for multiple degrees is some kind of automatic academic suicide (though you would, as Mr. Cage suggested, want to do your postdoc elsewhere).
 
That said, more often than not it's probably better to branch out and go to a different school for your PhD if that's a feasible option for you. Generally, if there are other good (i.e. well-funded, good-fitting) offers on the table, I would advise switching schools rather than staying. With all other things being equal, I think that most people would benefit by completing their education at a different university for all of the reasons that I described in the thread I linked to above. Again, you need to ask yourself... can my alma mater *really* offer me much more? Chances are that you've already taken away all that you could from that school.
 
To answer the OP's question, I don't think there's really a clear-cut point at which prestige counteracts the effects of "academic inbreeding." It probably varies depending on a load of other factors. In my opinion, though, I think that prestige should only win out if there is a huge gap in the rankings (i.e. one is near the top while the other is near the bottom of the list). I say this because, in general, if you've done your undergrad and master's at this prestigious institution, then you've probably already benefited from that school's prestige as much as you ever will. Its name will forever be associated with yours on your CV. And you've already built up strong connections at that school that can open doors for you later on. Staying there for an extra 5 or so years most likely won't change that very much. In almost all cases, it would be better to go somewhere else, mainly to (1) expand your professional network via professors in a new department [and the connections they may have elsewhere] and (2) expose yourself to new perspectives as well as new resources that may not have been available at your old school. One exception to this, of course, is if you'll be doing your PhD work in a different department than you did your other degrees, or if you're working with faculty members that you didn't interact with much in the past (maybe the school has just hired a new "academic rockstar" in your field?). In that case, there *is* a lot left for you to take away from the school.
 
Also, this all assumes that you're planning on a career in academia. If you want to go into industry, the situation will likely be very different. Your potential employer would probably be more impressed that you did your PhD at a prestigious school and likely wouldn't care that you also did your MS and undergrad there.

My impression: You're thinking of the other schools as if you had gotten in and were forced to decline their admissions to go to your current school. You are feeling bad, because you feel as if you've missed out on certain opportunities and "settled" for a lesser school. But you weren't accepted at the other schools; you didn't make the cut, no matter how close you were to the cut. So basically, you're just being silly. Buck up and be grateful. It's stupid and pointless to think "what if?"
 
Now that the harsh words are out of the way, how closely does current research actually fit with the research you want to do? If it's completely different, then maybe think about transferring and mention this to your advisor. Keep in mind that your transfer applications may not be successful and that you may still wind up stuck at your program in a potentially awkward situation, where your cohort and profs know you want out but didn't succeed in getting out.

Seriously? "we are girls and we overreact sometimes"? I am a girl and I feel totally insulted by that. WTF?
 
Back on-topic: I really think the OP is reading too much into all of this, TBH. I will say that your behavior seems really unprofessional, both in flirting with him (doesn't matter whether he's married or not, flirting with a prof is always a bad idea), and in asking for a seat in his class, and then dropping it. I would be pissed if one of my students did that, because it is additional work for him to enroll you in his class, esp. if you're from another department. Not to mention the fact that you then didn't even bother to officially drop his class, creating additional work for him and the secretary. Regarding the syllabus: Couldn't you have gotten your hands on it from another student? That's what we do, in order to not bother our professors etc. with trivial crap, and in order to actually get a feel for the class...
 
Regarding all these other events that you chalk up to this professor: 1. If he actually is less than 10 years your senior, I highly doubt his word carries enough weight to influence admin decsions etc. At my unis, oral enthusiastic responses, followed by a written "we'll have to think about it/check/confirm" are completely normal, and more than once ended with a "Sorry, we can't do it". Also, taking into account the fact that most Americans I have met are a lot more enthusiastic, outgoing and positive in the first place, and thereby often phrase things in a way that would be a sure thing for me, as a European, but isn't for them, I really don't think you'll be able to infer anything from their positive or negative response.
2. Regarding the other professor: schedule a meeting or go to her office hours! If she still ignores you there, you might have grounds to complain, though I would highly advise against bringing up your issue with the other professor, because you're basically accusing her of being unprofessional there.
 
As a future course of action, I would advise you to let it go, chalk it up as a learning and growing experience for you as a person (and student), and be more careful in the future. I also wouldn't try to talks to the professor anymore. He's made it abundantly clear he has no interest in talking to you, you guys don't currently have any sort of involvement that would require contact ( as in, you're not in his class etc.), so just let it go, be happy that you were able to drop his class (which is not a given).
 
Hope this helps!

your disappointment is one big denial

Hmm, I think digital humanities is, as you say, inevitable. But I don't think it's only useful for the teaching aspect. I can think of plenty of applications of digital humanities towards CRM, for instance, and I think it will encourage more scholarship on difficult-to-access primary sources.

My impression: You're thinking of the other schools as if you had gotten in and were forced to decline their admissions to go to your current school. You are feeling bad, because you feel as if you've missed out on certain opportunities and "settled" for a lesser school. But you weren't accepted at the other schools; you didn't make the cut, no matter how close you were to the cut. So basically, you're just being silly. Buck up and be grateful. It's stupid and pointless to think "what if?"
 
Now that the harsh words are out of the way, how closely does current research actually fit with the research you want to do? If it's completely different, then maybe think about transferring and mention this to your advisor. Keep in mind that your transfer applications may not be successful and that you may still wind up stuck at your program in a potentially awkward situation, where your cohort and profs know you want out but didn't succeed in getting out.

While I would agree that I personally would not want a 2-hour commute each way if I was going to be a new parent, I don't think it's fair to judge the OP so harshly on this fact. It sounds like they have thought it through, which is why the long commute is #1 on the con list. I think it's unfair to assume that the OP will be  a bad parent. There are many ways to make it work -- the husband might work closer and/or work at home. The OP doesn't necessarily have to work / come to school every day after the first 2 years. They could only come in for meetings with professors or TAing -- if they stay for a few hours and do readings during the commute, then they can still get almost 6-8 hours of work done in a day. Again, I probably will not choose this if I was in the OP's shoes, and it's one thing to point out the increased complication of raising a small child with a long commute -- I especially agree with Queen of Kale's point about 2 hours being a really long way away if there's an emergency (hopefully the spouse is closer to home!). However, it's another thing to imply that the OP is going to be a poor parent because they aren't going to be home with the children. It's not the 1950s anymore, spouses can take turns being at home, or maybe they have family members nearby etc.
 
To the OP: can you check with your school and fellowships for the Leave of Absence rules? The fellowships I've encountered usually allow you to suspend a fellowship (you won't get the money but you can still resume it without penalty later) for medical reasons (including childbirth and raising a child). Sometimes fellowships will even continue to pay you during your year off (but then the fellowship will run out a year early). We are planning to start a family at some point during my PhD too, so this was a big factor in making a decision! 
 
Personally, I would choose the second option because it seems more flexible and you will have a lot more freedom. The lower pay doesn't sound like it would be as big of a problem. It does sound like the first choice might be a better fit for your career goals, and maybe you can get what you want with a Masters. I don't know enough about your field to give more advice than that though.
 
Also, I know a grad student who is recently a mother and she has a 2 hour commute to school. She did wait until courses were finished before having a baby though. She took a year leave of absence (standard in Canada) and now only commutes to work whenever she has to meet with her advisor. The rest of the time, she works from home and/or Skypes with her collaborators! It did help that she was on fellowship and did not have to TA though.
 
Good luck! 

wait until you know all of the funding situations before you make a decision. I would avoid going into debt for grad school if possible. 

So, to alleviate the stress.
 
I think that George Eliot should have been one of those women who never learned to read, and instead had 12 children. Then she would have been of a neutral benefit to humanity, rather than a negative one. I mean, Gogol burned the second tome of Dead Souls - and Dead Souls was like x9000 better than anything I ever read by Eliot. And by sheer circumstance, I have been cursed with reading a lot of hers.
 
On the other hand, I just read a blog that counts good novels before and after the advent of George Eliot. Like, BGE and AGE. What is UP with that?
 
I don't get it. I wholly accept that this may indeed be the case, but I just don't get it.
 
 
Could a budding scholar perhaps explain why her writing is so valuable?

I decided many years back to be more gender-sensitive in my pronoun usage. However, and this may sound odd to many, I feel more uncomfortable these days using "s/he" than using "he." After becoming acquainted with those who identify outside of the gender binary, "s/he" now doesn't strike me as particularly gender-neutral anymore, since it presupposes a gender binary. But gender-neutral pronouns are still incredibly awkward to use.
 
In conclusion, now I just practice English gymnastics in order to avoid pronouns altogether if necessary. Or I just go with the singular "they" if I must, but never without wincing.

I decided many years back to be more gender-sensitive in my pronoun usage. However, and this may sound odd to many, I feel more uncomfortable these days using "s/he" than using "he." After becoming acquainted with those who identify outside of the gender binary, "s/he" now doesn't strike me as particularly gender-neutral anymore, since it presupposes a gender binary. But gender-neutral pronouns are still incredibly awkward to use.
 
In conclusion, now I just practice English gymnastics in order to avoid pronouns altogether if necessary. Or I just go with the singular "they" if I must, but never without wincing.

@emmm
 
Just got fucked in the ass by two depts of which I know the faculty well. In fact I know all of the committee members personally and my research statement was designed to help most faculty and their research. At least now I know that qualifications don't matter, which at least means I don't have to work to write more publications.
 
I know the committees so well that I know who got my spot, someone with no first author publications and almost no research experience.
 
Good luck on anyone over 35 who got in, must be some fucking magic you're using.