Self Care in Grad School

[rising_star]

12 hours ago, GreenEyedTrombonist said:

In semi-related news, I really need to start compiling slow cooker recipes that I can eat so I'm ready to go as soon as I move. Also probably need some tupperware for my prepped meals.  

Look for Pyrex sets, especially when they're on sale. The convenience of glass is that you can bake/cook a meal in it, then later put a lid on it and it goes straight into the fridge. Then, for lunch the next day, you can just take the container with you and heat it up in the microwave at work. I actually have two different sets (the set with rectangular containers and another with round containers) that I use for just about everything.

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

thanks @rising_star ! I'll put those on my list!

Do you happen to know any low-carb, grain and dairy free slow cooker recipes?  

[rising_star]

@GreenEyedTrombonist, I'd start here: http://www.ayearofslowcooking.com/2005/01/table-of-contents-year-of-slow-cooking.html All of the recipes are gluten-free and most don't involve any sort of grains. Dairy you can often do substitutes for (e.g., she makes her own "cream-of" soup and I've made it using almond milk before with no real issues). There are other slow cooking blogs too (seriously, google for paleo slow cooker recipes and you'll get tons of results) but that's the one I discovered first and still use because I like her sense of humor.

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

Thanks @rising_star !

[jrockford27]

While this thread has focused primarily on exercise and nutrition, which are important, don't forget that self-care includes hobbies, socializing with friends, and plain old enjoying things that aren't work.

For example, this academic year I started a new ritual where each morning I wake up, make myself some coffee, and spend the first hour of my day reading something that has zero to do with my work.   I feel like this improves my morale substantially, and gets my brain "spun up" to think about important things.  I wish it hadn't taken me until I was 33 years old to realize that mornings aren't just for rolling out of bed, stuffing food in my mouth and rushing into work.  Make time for things that aren't work or exercise!

You'll probably meet people in grad school who brag about 60 hour work weeks and wear their exhaustion like a badge of honor.  It is so ridiculously unnecessary, and these people are probably vastly overstating their workload, or have an exceptionally broad definition of what constitutes academic work.  While we all inevitably find ourselves putting in a few 10-12 hour days at crunch time,  if you're working smart you do not need to be doing that on a weekly basis.

Edited February 7, 2018 by jrockford27

[CulturalCriminal]

“I was either going to do my first Ironman and finish my dissertation, or dropout ABD from exhaustion”- actual statement made by a medievalist in my department.

[nichts]

6 minutes ago, CulturalCriminal said:

“I was either going to do my first Ironman and finish my dissertation, or dropout ABD from exhaustion”

I was so excited—I read that as Strongman. Does no one here worship the iron gods?

[snickus]

On 2/7/2018 at 4:23 PM, jrockford27 said:

While we all inevitably find ourselves putting in a few 10-12 hour days at crunch time,  if you're working smart you do not need to be doing that on a weekly basis.

This interests me greatly @jrockford27...What would you say is a typical amount of time needed to prep for a class? I recently completed an Ed.M., and they advised us to expect 10 hours of work per class (more for online courses), and I found that to be accurate. When large assignments were due, that would naturally go up quite a bit, and large assignments were frequently due in one class or another. I attended law school in the past and found my Ed.M. workload comparable (which I honestly hadn't been expecting). My student teaching semester had even longer days.  I'd love to hear from you and others already in grad school for either Lit or Rhet/Comp about how much time it typically takes. I'd been expecting a similar workload but would of course love if it's less.

ETA: Oh, I just realized that the lighter workload could be due to the lower number of classes taken each semester. Is about 3 the norm? 

Edited February 13, 2018 by snickus

[jrockford27]

I guess I was thinking more about dissertation/comps phase, but I think we can say a similar thing about coursework with the caveat that in my experience the labor involved in the coursework phase of grad school is a bit less demanding and so it's possible to put in more hours.  I mean, I find myself to be a pretty slow reader (I can read about 20 pages of academic carefully, with some notes, in about one hour).  For me, effective skimming was an important skill to develop in grad school (I was at a meeting the other day where several full time faculty discussed the importance of skimming for grad students).

  If someone finds that they are working 10-12 hours a day on their coursework, reading everything with a magnifying glass, and still living their best life, then more power to you. My anecdotal evidence suggests that this is not the case for most grad students (including myself). On top of my snailspace with regard to careful reading, I would also say that there is a definite cap on what I retain and if I had to guess it probably tops out at about 3 hours, and then I need a break to do something else (there have been studies that show diminishing returns for intellectual exercise after about this amount of time).  So I'll switch to writing, or grading, or schedule my day around a talk.

All I'm trying to say is that a great self care tip for grad school is to not get enveloped in pissing contests (with other academics, or with your sibling who does some other kind of work with a completely different set of demands) about how many hours a week you need to work, and don't get intimidated by grad students who claim fantastically long and productive workdays, because evidence suggests that short, intense periods of intellectual work are much more productive than long, grinding days.  I highly recommend the book "Deep Work" by Cal Newport, it completely changed my approach to my studies, and confirmed through evidence a lot of things I'd believed for a long time, and made me feel better about my habits of mind.  I think the "look how exhausted I am, isn't being a grad student cah-razy, here's an instagram picture of all of the books on my desk, can't believe I'm gonna read those #crushingit" really traps us in the postmodern "Love what you do" ethos that makes us easier to exploit (and we're already really easy to exploit).

I think if most grad students saw people in any other profession working overtime hours for minimum wage with very little promise for substantial upward financial mobility, and then bragging about it and aestheticizing it, they would decry it as exploitation and false consciousness (they'd write a 30 page paper citing Althusser, Rancière, and Derrida), but when grad students do it it's apparently just "the academic life."  After five years of PhD study, I'm pretty sure this is the most important self care advice I can give.  Also, drink plenty of water, take walks, beware of credit cards, learn to cook/bake, and don't get a dog..

 

Edited February 13, 2018 by jrockford27

[snickus]

@jrockford27 Thank you! I completely agree that pissing contests are pointless and destructive and horribly misguided. It's encouraging to hear that grad school coursework doesn't really require about 10 hours of work per class. That was my life for so long, and was similar to law school, so I just figured that must be the way it is past undergrad. This is encouraging news because now I'm certain I'll be able to handle working while in grad school w/o life feeling too hectic. 

[midwest-ford]

1 hour ago, jrockford27 said:

  Also, drink plenty of water, take walks, beware of credit cards, learn to cook/bake, and don't get a dog..

 

please explain "don't get a dog" my soul is dying I NEED a dog!! 

[jrockford27]

7 minutes ago, midwest-ford said:

please explain "don't get a dog" my soul is dying I NEED a dog!! 

My partner and I adopted a dog two years ago, and while we love him and don't regret him, I think we would both definitely be further along in our dissertations if we didn't have him! Dogs don't care that you're just hitting your stride, or that you've only written 300 words in a whole day of work, they demand validation.  However, if you have a dog sized hole in your heart and you simply wont make it without one, it would be terribly hypocritical for me to stop you!

The first few weeks you will get zero done, and you wont sleep much, it will get better, but you'll never be able to work as much or as consistently as you are accustomed to (though in light of my previous post, maybe that isn't such a bad thing).

Edited February 13, 2018 by jrockford27

[Wabbajack]

16 minutes ago, jrockford27 said:

My partner and I adopted a dog two years ago, and while we love him and don't regret him, I think we would both definitely be further along in our dissertations if we didn't have him! Dogs don't care that you're just hitting your stride, or that you've only written 300 words in a whole day of work, they demand validation.  However, if you have a dog sized hole in your heart and you simply wont make it without one, it would be terribly hypocritical for me to stop you!

The first few weeks you will get zero done, and you wont sleep much, it will get better, but you'll never be able to work as much or as consistently as you are accustomed to (though in light of my previous post, maybe that isn't such a bad thing).

I totally agree that dogs take up a lot of time. However, I got a dog each of my two years in MA. The first year into my MA was the first time I had ever lived without a dog (mine or other's), and I was downright miserable and teetering on depression. Getting a dog took up a lot of my time, but it also made me happier and overall more productive. Of course, some people don't need animal support, but for people like me, they really are emotional support animals.

[clinamen]

29 minutes ago, midwest-ford said:

please explain "don't get a dog" my soul is dying I NEED a dog!! 

I am planning on getting a dog when I start grad school! I was told by a professor that grad school is the BEST time to get a dog ? 

[Yanaka]

I adopted two kittens from the shelter where I volunteered and fostered (just the once LOL) in September. While working on fostering a litter of three + a sickly mom was a lot of work, it was nothing compared to keeping two of the kittens who just wanted to destroy my place and eat my money away during that end of November/December stretch of grad school. Now that it's calmer, I'd say that it's still pretty inconvenient to have adopted them; but the + sides are: having concrete things, especially beings, to take care of beside my own self (including loving, playing, worrying, and maintaining); having a morning routine that pulls me out of bed every day (I now rarely sleep in, only when I had the flu or/and was pretty depressed--and sleeping in meant 9 am, getting the stuff done around the cats and then going back to bed); having company when I will live alone. But it's true that you need to carefully think of how you will work around going away on weekends, especially if your family is far from where you'll be and you visit them once in a while. I have roommates right now so if I am wiling to trust them it's nice (although usually I pay someone extra), but I'll have to figure this out when I move to Jersey.

Also I noticed that when they're being picky or are having issues I live it a lot less well than I used to. Like when they don't want to eat and are visibly hungry I get so mad and panicked at the same time because I have so much other sh*t to think of.

Well other than that I love my fur babies, I'm crazy about them. I guess it will also be easier when they will be more mature -- they're seven months right now, so I still have about a year to wait until they chill hahaha! At least they have great spirit.

Oh and one of my professor told me, when I decided to keep two kittens, that she adopted her cat during her Phd (or was it her post-doc?), and said it was important to have something concrete to take care of beside grad school.

Edited February 13, 2018 by Yanaka

[jrockford27]

Maybe I was too strong in my dog advice.  Mine has been sleeping peacefully all morning while I've been avoiding looking at my advisor's notes on my chapters.

[Pezpoet]

Re: dog. Can confirm. I got an 11 week puppy mid-application season. It was rough city. There was, of course, little sleeping. But mostly, it was the constant disruptions that wore me down. There was never a time to sit and write for a couple of uninterrupted hours. She ate my GRE study book (good dog) and a bee sting on a sunday meant a 1k trip to the emergency vet. Dogs are expensive. 

That said, I wouldn't have changed a thing (except maybe rid our house of bees earlier).

[jrockford27]

4 minutes ago, Pezpoet said:

Re: dog. Can confirm. I got an 11 week puppy mid-application season. It was rough city. There was, of course, little sleeping. But mostly, it was the constant disruptions that wore me down. There was never a time to sit and write for a couple of uninterrupted hours. She ate my GRE study book (good dog) and a bee sting on a sunday meant a 1k trip to the emergency vet. Dogs are expensive. 

That said, I wouldn't have changed a thing (except maybe rid our house of bees earlier).

Yeah, my dog ate the covers off of two library books, set me back $50 in repair fees. He will eat virtually anything, and so the first few months he required pretty perpetual vigilance, which likely colors my experience of dog ownership as a grad student!

Edited February 13, 2018 by jrockford27

[Warelin]

I think I got lucky. My dog just likes to sleep and cuddle. She's even more cuddly when she realizes I'm sick or having a bad day. 

[sarahchristine]

5 hours ago, jrockford27 said:

For me, effective skimming was an important skill to develop in grad school (I was at a meeting the other day where several full time faculty discussed the importance of skimming for grad students).

Did you learn to skim just from lots of practice, or do you have any tips for effective skimming? It's a skill I don't currently possess but definitely need to if this application season works out in my favor.

[midwest-ford]

Thanks for everyone's input on the pet thing! Those are some really good points, especially about having continuous blocks of time. 

Mostly, I am thinking 1) I love dogs!, and 2) wherever I go, I'm going to be completely alone and at minimum 6 hours away from my family and most of my loved ones (not that I won't make friends, but, you know). It feels like it might be the right time. That said, I am nervous about making sure I have enough time to care for any animal. 

 

Also, I have a strict "no puppies" rule. I want to adopt, so I'd be looking at dogs that are at least a few years old. I know for sure I wouldn't have the time to train a brand new lil guy! 

[jrockford27]

1 hour ago, sarahchristine said:

Did you learn to skim just from lots of practice, or do you have any tips for effective skimming? It's a skill I don't currently possess but definitely need to if this application season works out in my favor.

I don't have any advice other than if you are, for example, assigned to read a 250 page theory book in a week (not a terribly outlandish reading assignment for a grad seminar) that it's unlikely you're going to be able to actually read and usefully retain all 250 pages. So do a little bit of reflection, take a look at the table of contents, read the intro and then ask yourself 1) which portions sound like they're most relevant to the seminar; 2) which portions sound most relevant to my own research interests.  Read those portions carefully, and skim the rest, marking pages that seem worth coming back to.  That doesn't mean skipping them, it just means gliding over them a bit more easily, taking only sparse notes. 

While you might feel like a slacker at first, you're really not, your brain is a pretty impressive hard drive.  I've been writing papers years after a seminar when it crosses my mind, "hey, didn't I read something about that in that section I skimmed from...?"  

I don't know, some faculty may think this is utter heresy, but this thread is about self-care and it's one strategy I developed.

Edited February 13, 2018 by jrockford27

[Wabbajack]

1 hour ago, Warelin said:

I think I got lucky. My dog just likes to sleep and cuddle. She's even more cuddly when she realizes I'm sick or having a bad day. 

Dogs are the best. Every morning my dogs want to walk ASAP, and if I try to sleep in, the boy dog will sit on me and pat my face until I get up. But a few weeks ago I had a panic attack in the morning and both of the dogs didn't want to go outside. They just cuddled and wouldn't budge. Best. Creatures. Ever.

[senorbrightside]

I'm hoping to adopt a golden retriever from rescue or the pound or something this summer before grad school. I need a support animal! So count me in the "I want a dog" group. 

Edited February 13, 2018 by senorbrightside

[Yanaka]

5 hours ago, midwest-ford said:

That said, I am nervous about making sure I have enough time to care for any animal. 

And money.  I am lucky to be privileged with a mother as backup, but I still signed up for insurances and a care plan for one of my two cats. Because even if I do save up money, there's no way I want to spend a min. 1k on a pet. Well, I did, before I signed up for the plans haha.