koechophe Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 On 1/15/2022 at 10:29 AM, Ydrl said: I'm curious, what are everyone's thoughts on the AWP 22 situation? Should it be online only? Remain a hybrid? If it is a hybrid is anyone here going to go? I honestly wish more of these functions were online, tbh. It would make them a lot more accessible to most writers who (frankly) don't tend to be rolling in dough. The actual cost of registration isn't usually the issue, it's the hotel/travel costs that make them so expensive. Rm714 and Ydrl 2
CathyandRuth Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 (edited) Anyone else feeling so intensely anxious waiting to hear back from schools? Like, I am barely focusing at work, all I can think about is the programs. I dream about it, I even walk around the prospective cities on google maps ? It's not even like I think I'll be so crushed if I don't get in. I'll be sad, sure, but I have a decent plan B. Or... maybe I will be a little crushed. The MFA would change my entire life. I quite literally cannot think about anything else. I've been going through last years' grad cafe and Draft like it will actually help! I keep reading over my app materials, imagining it from the POV of the committees. I wish I could chill, my friends are like 'its only 2 weeks till you start to hear back' but every day feels like absolute torture ? So if anyone else feels as obsessed as I do, dw you're not alone hahaha Edited January 17, 2022 by CathyandRuth xenawins, Ydrl, holloway and 2 others 5
mrvisser Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 4 hours ago, CathyandRuth said: Anyone else feeling so intensely anxious waiting to hear back from schools? I was this way last year, but I was unemployed at that time and briefly had to move back to my hometown, so I had little to do and a lot of time to go crazy waiting. Now I'm busy at work and back in the city, so the weeks are flying by, which I'm very grateful for.
MissMosquito Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 (edited) Hi Everyone, Just discovered this forum—alas, months after I submitted all my applications, but scanning the post history has quelled some of my waiting-game nerves. I’m a first-time poetry applicant. I applied to 15 schools (a variety of top and middle tier programs) in hopes of securing acceptance with the first attempt. I think some of the questions people posed to encourage positive discussion became overshadowed recently by troll bait. Revisiting select questions could bring us back to supporting each other as we twiddle our thumbs. So here goes: My top program picks are for different reasons. Practically speaking, my partner would rather stay in Austin so he doesn’t have to rebuild his patient practice. Too bad an acceptance from the Michener Center is like winning a golden ticket to Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, but there’s always UT’s NWP. Though, setting practicalities aside, in my heart of hearts, I’m hoping for entry to Washington University in St. Louis. I don’t know why—gut/intuition I guess. Plus, aside from a short stint in Brooklyn, I’ve lived my entire life in ATX. What with property values jumping from an average of $350,000 to $500,000+ in just a year, the cost of living in St. Louis is looking mighty enticing to me these days. Just the other day, I saw on Zillow that a shoebox sized empty lot two doors down from me is listing for $600,000! re: to healthy distractions: I’ve been binge reading. Just finished reading Cloud Cuckoo Land and About Grace. Anyone else love Anthony Doer’s work as much as I do? For a poet, I adore his attention to the tiny details where humanity alights and the lyricism he weaves when attending to such details. For whatever reason, I’m having difficulty picking up a book of poetry. Maybe it feels a little too close to my anxiety right now—not enough of a distraction. Way back, someone brought up sharing each other’s published work. Here’s a link to one of my publications: https://www.cathexisnorthwestpress.com/post/mother-days-after-nights-after-lost-in-a-hole-after-her-end I’d love to read whatever anyone wants to share. : ) Also, whoever compiled last year’s dates of acceptance letters from programs, thank you! This helps me redirect my attention—though I’m sure there will be plenty of email checking on the dates mentioned. By the way, does anyone know if most programs deliver acceptances by phone or by email? Best, Jenny Edited January 18, 2022 by MissMosquito Typos holloway, MDP, Ydrl and 1 other 4
Rm714 Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 Checked my email because I couldn't sleep – in for Fiction/Prose at St Andrews. In total shock. How am I supposed to sleep now!? 1a/0w/0r/12p mrvisser, koechophe, holloway and 7 others 3 7
MDP Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 Gahhh the waiting period is TORTURE for sure. I've been keeping very busy which helps but it is ALWAYS on my mind. I'm telling myself I'll be okay if I don't get in, and I know I'll be fine, but I honestly am starting to think I'd be pretty crushed. It's so easy to idealize what the MFA life would look like. Moving to a new city, etc. 22 hours ago, CathyandRuth said: I wish I could chill, my friends are like 'its only 2 weeks till you start to hear back' but every day feels like absolute torture ? I actually didn't think about it like this re: two weeks -- that's pretty helpful! 2 weeks feels manageable at least. But every day that goes by with no news is so nerve wracking. I'm actually kind of dreading the day that acceptances start going out for the big programs? And yet I just want to get it over with, lol. TLDR; right there with you. 13 hours ago, MissMosquito said: By the way, does anyone know if most programs deliver acceptances by phone or by email? Depends on the program. I think Cornell, NYU, Iowa, and some other big-name programs usually notify full fellowship students via phone call (and notify them first). Then other acceptances (and then rejects) come via portal/email.
MDP Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 5 hours ago, Rm714 said: Checked my email because I couldn't sleep – in for Fiction/Prose at St Andrews. In total shock. How am I supposed to sleep now!? 1a/0w/0r/12p Also, CONGRATS!!! Rm714 1
xenawins Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 5 hours ago, Rm714 said: Checked my email because I couldn't sleep – in for Fiction/Prose at St Andrews. In total shock. How am I supposed to sleep now!? 1a/0w/0r/12p Congratulations! Whoooo! Thanks for sharing the joy (and hope) for everyone still waiting MDP and Rm714 2
holloway Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 Hi everyone! I'm late to join but glad that my apps are finished because that was a hell I was not anticipating. I'm a poet applicant and 100% panic applied towards the end because however many schools I had on my list suddenly wasn't enough... now I can't stop checking my email even though it's only January. My list (in no particular order): Michener and NWP at UT Austin North Carolina State University University of Florida University of Washington (Seattle) Florida State University University of Virginia Syracuse University University of Michigan University of Iowa Vanderbilt Cornell University of Maryland Best of luck everyone! I look forward to interacting on here! mrvisser, Ydrl, MDP and 1 other 3 1
xenawins Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 13 hours ago, MissMosquito said: Way back, someone brought up sharing each other’s published work. Here’s a link to one of my publications: https://www.cathexisnorthwestpress.com/post/mother-days-after-nights-after-lost-in-a-hole-after-her-end I also found this thread after already having completed a lot of my applications. Ah well! Your published piece is very beautiful and resonated a lot on a personal level. I've strewn my applications to institutions in several regions except the PNW where I live. I'm nervous about the possibility of leaving this place I love, but also excited by something new, even if it's challenging. Even if I don't get accepted into a program, I'm considering a move. I applied to programs based on what I really thought might be best fit, excepting a few top tier schools, which frustratingly enough, seem to provide little information about their programs compared to others. *shrug* We do the best we can I suppose.
Ydrl Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 4 minutes ago, holloway said: Hi everyone! I'm late to join but glad that my apps are finished because that was a hell I was not anticipating. I'm a poet applicant and 100% panic applied towards the end because however many schools I had on my list suddenly wasn't enough... now I can't stop checking my email even though it's only January. My list (in no particular order): Michener and NWP at UT Austin North Carolina State University University of Florida University of Washington (Seattle) Florida State University University of Virginia Syracuse University University of Michigan University of Iowa Vanderbilt Cornell University of Maryland Best of luck everyone! I look forward to interacting on here! Last year I panic applied too and all the schools I did that with were the ones I got into. Also we applied to so many of the same schools, poets unite. MDP, xenawins and holloway 3
koechophe Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 31 minutes ago, MDP said: Gahhh the waiting period is TORTURE for sure. I've been keeping very busy which helps but it is ALWAYS on my mind. I'm telling myself I'll be okay if I don't get in, and I know I'll be fine, but I honestly am starting to think I'd be pretty crushed. It's so easy to idealize what the MFA life would look like. Moving to a new city, etc. For me, it's honestly the rejection that's the hardest. I can deal with my life like it is for another year, it's not a bad life. But as a writer, I'm my own worst critic. There's a part of me that thinks some level of that is actually necessary if you want to be good at writing, though I also think we as writers usually take it too far. People that are serious at writing are often seriously hard on themselves, too. The waiting is hard on me because it's like this constant reminder of my own fears and self-doubts about myself as a writer. Those negative voices seem much harder to quiet during this period, tbh. MDP, xenawins and holloway 3
MDP Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 1 hour ago, holloway said: Hi everyone! I'm late to join but glad that my apps are finished because that was a hell I was not anticipating. I'm a poet applicant and 100% panic applied towards the end because however many schools I had on my list suddenly wasn't enough... now I can't stop checking my email even though it's only January. Congrats on wrapping up your apps! Looks like a good list are you a first time applicant or is this your second/third round? 1 hour ago, koechophe said: But as a writer, I'm my own worst critic. There's a part of me that thinks some level of that is actually necessary if you want to be good at writing, though I also think we as writers usually take it too far. People that are serious at writing are often seriously hard on themselves, too. Definitely relate to this For me, I gotta have a big enough ego to think "This is the best shit ever!" while writing, and enough inner critic to circle back and think "Wow, this seriously needs work." The eternal dance, ha. Question: do you all find it easy or difficult to keep working on writing during the waiting period? Friends and family keep telling me to write, but I feel so paralyzed. holloway and xenawins 2
xenawins Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 1 hour ago, koechophe said: For me, it's honestly the rejection that's the hardest. I can deal with my life like it is for another year, it's not a bad life. It's so interesting hearing other people's experiences. The hardest part for me is the waiting... I can deal with what I know, it's the unknown that drives me batty. Also why I'm doing #sowell during this pandemic and the continuous unknown rolling into year three. ? I'm thinking now though, why doesn't rejection bother me as much? I definitely have a harsh inner critic that vacillates wildly between "this is shit...YOU, in all the ways, might even be shit" to "wow, I think this is pretty great!" I can only say maybe it's because I've come to accept rejection as an inevitable part of being a creative. There is almost nothing as subjective as what one considers art, much less "good" art, so it feels easier to not make it personal to me. After all, I'm not everyone's cup of tea and I'm actively working on my own people-pleasing tendencies so receiving rejection always feels like a healthy process for me to experience. Sorry, all this navel gazing and I know I'm just trying to avoid checking my email again. Carry on! holloway 1
holloway Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 55 minutes ago, MDP said: Congrats on wrapping up your apps! Looks like a good list are you a first time applicant or is this your second/third round? Thanks! I'm a first time applicant.
oubukibun Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 I think it's pretty standard for all artistic people to circle the drain. That tether that connects all writers especially to what we consider a work of art stems from the abyss we don't want to look into too much and yet gaze at incessantly. Haha. I told my middle-school drama students just today: If we didn't feel afraid or nauseous before every performance, whether in class or on a stage, how could we be certain we were putting our heart and soul in it at all? Living in agony is part and parcel, at least for me. Just last night I excused myself from an extra hour of sleep to finish a 20-page beast of a poem that has been hounding me for 8 weeks now. Well, hound no more. Is it any good? Does it matter? I wrote it to exorcise a specific moment and experience. It was written specifically for one person in this world. These two facts, alone and together, more than justify the existence of the words. Everything else is just a gift, or better yet, a reason to keep experimenting and playing with an empty page! This last poem I wrote I decided to say "Fuck the format!" and laid the words and sentences out in the way the actual emotion impacted me right there and then. And then I thought, "Why not try and recreate a body with some of these stanzas?" Or have multiple stanzas buried in each other, but spacing the words so anyone reading could choose one or the other? Was it 100% successful? Fuck no, haha, but it gave me so much joy to be invigorated this way. To see myself on a page and be confident to say that I liked that person enough to finish the work. "Finish it." That's the hardest lesson, one I will always struggle with (part of the reason why grad school would be such a tremendous help!), but acceptance or no acceptance, the pages will always be there for us. We just have to make sure we tend to them. :) Toodles, everyone, it's fun being in the same boat together! Let's rock it! holloway and xenawins 2
MissMosquito Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 3 hours ago, xenawins said: I also found this thread after already having completed a lot of my applications. Ah well! Your published piece is very beautiful and resonated a lot on a personal level. I've strewn my applications to institutions in several regions except the PNW where I live. I'm nervous about the possibility of leaving this place I love, but also excited by something new, even if it's challenging. Even if I don't get accepted into a program, I'm considering a move. I applied to programs based on what I really thought might be best fit, excepting a few top tier schools, which frustratingly enough, seem to provide little information about their programs compared to others. *shrug* We do the best we can I suppose. Thank you for taking the time to read my words. Funny, that's what I say at the end of every submission I query for publication. But honestly, isn't that why we as writers do what we do? Simply to share--our words, our stories. I also applied to schools strewn across the country. I found it difficult to truly know what a program would be like as far as pedagogy and culture, but as a 37 year old who plans to start a family before it's too late, location was one of my top considerations--is the city affordable, family friendly, a place where my partner and I can envision setting up a life, even if only for the duration of the program. I can relate to the urge to start fresh somewhere else, but can also understand how it might be difficult to leave the PNW. I love that area--applied to UO for that reason. What schools are on you application list, may I ask? xenawins 1
MissMosquito Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 9 hours ago, Rm714 said: Checked my email because I couldn't sleep – in for Fiction/Prose at St Andrews. In total shock. How am I supposed to sleep now!? 1a/0w/0r/12p Congratulations! Lucky your first acceptance came so early. Having your first correspondence from programs as an acceptance will certainly soften the blow if there are any subsequent rejections. Of course, it will be all the sweeter if there are more acceptances to come. Was St. Andrews your top choice, or are you holding out for another program? Rm714 1
MissMosquito Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 4 hours ago, holloway said: Hi everyone! I'm late to join but glad that my apps are finished because that was a hell I was not anticipating. I'm a poet applicant and 100% panic applied towards the end because however many schools I had on my list suddenly wasn't enough... now I can't stop checking my email even though it's only January. My list (in no particular order): Michener and NWP at UT Austin North Carolina State University University of Florida University of Washington (Seattle) Florida State University University of Virginia Syracuse University University of Michigan University of Iowa Vanderbilt Cornell University of Maryland Best of luck everyone! I look forward to interacting on here! I was tempted to panic apply, but I had already applied to 15 programs before the end of November and I worried any more letters would be too much to ask of my recommenders. I applied to: * Brown University * Cornell University * Indiana University Bloomington * University of Colorado Boulder (After my partner and I went on a trip to Denver, I had to add a program in Colorado to my list!) * University of Iowa * University of Michigan * University of Mississippi * University of Notre Dame * University of Oregon * University of Texas at Austin--New Writers Project * University of Texas at Austin--Michener Center for Writers * Vanderbilt University * University of Virginia * Virginia Tech * Washington University in St. Louis Any other poets on this forum apply to these programs this year or in the past? Ydrl 1
MissMosquito Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 4 hours ago, Ydrl said: Last year I panic applied too and all the schools I did that with were the ones I got into. Also we applied to so many of the same schools, poets unite. Really?! I guess I should have pushed my worry aside regardless of my recommenders' workload and panic applied away! Poets unit indeed!
SteveHolt Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 26 minutes ago, MissMosquito said: I love that area--applied to UO for that reason. Can confirm; I grew up in Eugene. Other than being a little college-towney, it is a very nice place to start a family (especially if you like outdoor sports). I was happy to grow up there, although it is the type of place that kids are driven to leave as adults, as me and my brother and most people I know did. xenawins 1
xenawins Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 30 minutes ago, MissMosquito said: Thank you for taking the time to read my words. Funny, that's what I say at the end of every submission I query for publication. But honestly, isn't that why we as writers do what we do? Simply to share--our words, our stories. I also applied to schools strewn across the country. I found it difficult to truly know what a program would be like as far as pedagogy and culture, but as a 37 year old who plans to start a family before it's too late, location was one of my top considerations--is the city affordable, family friendly, a place where my partner and I can envision setting up a life, even if only for the duration of the program. I can relate to the urge to start fresh somewhere else, but can also understand how it might be difficult to leave the PNW. I love that area--applied to UO for that reason. What schools are on you application list, may I ask? Yeah, the NW is awesome - but as I get older and the longer I've been here...the longer the dreary winters seem to get. Olympia is quite rainy though, not all regions are the same. None of my applied locations are where I might set up for a long haul, but having never been to several of them I'm open to possibilities. Most of my criteria centered around whether there were opportunities for cross-genre work, any speculative/sci-fi/eco emphasis, diversity, faculty, cost of living, and teaching opportunities. I've applied at (not in any order): - University of Michigan - Southern Illinois University-Carbondale - Arizona State - University of Kansas - Cornell - Syracuse - University of Alabama - University of Tennessee I also struggled with feeling like I was asking a lot of my recommenders, even though they're all very supportive. It also helped me cap my enthusiasm and get more focused on which programs I applied to. Still feeling some regret at not having applied to a couple, but ah well, maybe next year if I decide to apply again.
MissMosquito Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 2 hours ago, xenawins said: It's so interesting hearing other people's experiences. The hardest part for me is the waiting... I can deal with what I know, it's the unknown that drives me batty. Also why I'm doing #sowell during this pandemic and the continuous unknown rolling into year three. ? I'm thinking now though, why doesn't rejection bother me as much? I definitely have a harsh inner critic that vacillates wildly between "this is shit...YOU, in all the ways, might even be shit" to "wow, I think this is pretty great!" I can only say maybe it's because I've come to accept rejection as an inevitable part of being a creative. There is almost nothing as subjective as what one considers art, much less "good" art, so it feels easier to not make it personal to me. After all, I'm not everyone's cup of tea and I'm actively working on my own people-pleasing tendencies so receiving rejection always feels like a healthy process for me to experience. Sorry, all this navel gazing and I know I'm just trying to avoid checking my email again. Carry on! Hi xenawins, I don't know if this helps, but I'll tell you a bit of a story. Way, way back in undergrad circa early aughts, I was one of those type A students so tightly wound around my 4.0 GPA that I agonized after exams during that period of unknown. My thoughts were dominated by ruminations like, "I should have chosen answer A rather than B," "Why didn't I make this point to support my thesis," etc, etc. I would scour my textbook to find out whether or not I'd answered an uncertain exam question correctly. Realizing that period of unknown for what it was helped me let go of my perseveration. Out of nowhere, it occurred to me, "The exam is turned in. There's nothing I can do about the resulting grade right now. I might as well forget about it until grades are posted." If you lean into the unknown and treat it as a vacation in limbo, you might find yourself having some much needed fun. I know, I know! Easier said than done. And I'm on the same page with rejection. In order to thrive as an artist, you have to get used to far more rejection than acceptance. I used to be a professional actress, before I was a psychiatric nurse, before I was a poet, and rejection is most of what actors know. You audition, and audition, and audition. You're rejected, and rejected, and rejected--until you aren't. Whenever I found myself discouraged, I remembered that it's not personal. The rejections meant that for any number of countless reasons, I wasn't right for that role. On the other hand, when I landed a role, there was only one reason for the casting. At that time, for that production, I was the only actress who was the best fit to play the role. The process is very similar to the rejection writers face when they submit for publication. The only difference is that as an actor, rejection prevented me from acting. There's nothing stopping me from writing my poetry, no matter how often I'm rejected. This is why looking back to my acting, I much prefer writing now.
MissMosquito Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 1 hour ago, oubukibun said: Everything else is just a gift, or better yet, a reason to keep experimenting and playing with an empty page! I love this thought. What a playful and inviting sentiment! Too bad I find my writing mind addled almost to inebriation by the anticipation of program decisions. The only thing I seem to be able to do as far as writing is concerned is edit those poems I'm in the process of submitting for publication. If it's still needed, I tend to tweak a poem here and there every time I submit it. MDP 1
MissMosquito Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 30 minutes ago, SteveHolt said: Can confirm; I grew up in Eugene. Other than being a little college-towney, it is a very nice place to start a family (especially if you like outdoor sports). I was happy to grow up there, although it is the type of place that kids are driven to leave as adults, as me and my brother and most people I know did. Thanks for the confirmation. I love the outdoors. I grew up as a tomboy, playing in the creek near my house, a heavily wooded area that felt like it was in the middle of nowhere, but still just a 10 minute drive from UT campus. It was a perfect place to grow up. May I ask, what about Eugene drove kids to leave as adults? The only thing pushing me out of Austin is all the Cali/NY transplants driving the cost of living up and up.
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