Let's commiserate about things

[katerific]

Man, sometimes I look at the profiles of current students at my top-choice program(s) and I just feel like they're totally out of my league This leads to self-doubt (about my ability to actually get in to these schools).... which leads to a crippling anxiety... which leads to me wasting too much time on this forum. You know, posting about my woes and whatnot.

Maybe I'm just having a rough week with finals and deadlines. Is anyone else in the same boat? Let's commiserate.

[Strangefox]

Man, sometimes I look at the profiles of current students at my top-choice program(s) and I just feel like they're totally out of my league This leads to self-doubt (about my ability to actually get in to these schools).... which leads to a crippling anxiety... which leads to me wasting too much time on this forum. You know, posting about my woes and whatnot.

Maybe I'm just having a rough week with finals and deadlines. Is anyone else in the same boat? Let's commiserate.

I noticed that for some people (for me, for example ) it's kind of difficult to take a detached look at oneself and say: "Hey, man, I am cool! I am talented! I have accomplished so much!". Once you have done something great and important, even if it had been quite a difficult task, it starts to seem like everybody can do that, - but it is so not true! And it really helps to have supportive friends who can explain you what a great person you are, and luckily I have such friends and I feel much more confident because of them.

If you have self-doubts, try to list all your accomplishments, everything that made you happy and proud of yourself and I am sure there will be a lot of things on this list!! And I know it is hard to be detached about these great things. I know that from my own experience. I know that there were times and times I overcame difficulties in my life, but sometimes thinking of them I ask myself: "So what?". That is a bad bad attitude. You must make yourself think about these things over and over again (sounds crazy, but it helps me ) and make yourself see that what you did was great, that it makes you special and definetely not worse than all those grade students at the schools you have applied to!

Edited December 9, 2010 by Strangefox

[crayolacat]

I think that too. But then I look at my CV and my LORs (two of LOR writers gave me copies) and I'm surprised that person described in those documents is me. So... are you being realistic in evaluating yourself? You've probably done some cool stuff too.

[anthropologygeek]

Not to mention people stretch the truth here. An example is like saying you have a 4.0 when really you rounded from a 3.7. Another way is saying you got a 1210 on gre when the really for a 1160.

[Strangefox]

Not to mention people stretch the truth here. An example is like saying you have a 4.0 when really you rounded from a 3.7. Another way is saying you got a 1210 on gre when the really for a 1160.

Who's stretching the truth like that??

[eklavya]

Man, sometimes I look at the profiles of current students at my top-choice program(s) and I just feel like they're totally out of my league This leads to self-doubt (about my ability to actually get in to these schools).... which leads to a crippling anxiety... which leads to me wasting too much time on this forum. You know, posting about my woes and whatnot.

Maybe I'm just having a rough week with finals and deadlines. Is anyone else in the same boat? Let's commiserate.

I try not to commiserate - mainly because I haven't seen a single soul from my area of interest. Obviously then, by deductive reasoning, I haven't met anyone who's applying to the same schools as I am. So, I feel like I'm the single king around here.. hehe

Now to those who are commiserating, lets think about it this way:

Maybe the adcomms will come to realize that students will stellar credentials are the types who need constant babying, pampering.. you know, all that celebrity-ing stuff? Then they'll be like 'hmm, lets take an above average/average kid. it'll fare well with all of us'.

OR, maybe they'll be like 'a kid with 4.0 gpa, 1500+ gre and 7 publications, you say? we can't hope that he/she'll grow intellectually anymore! for christ's sake, he/she already had more publications than our grad students... combined! lets take someone who we can teach, and be a part of his/her development and success'

This is when our lucky star will shine!

You see, we are the ones with upper hand here!

[Strangefox]

OR, maybe they'll be like 'a kid with 4.0 gpa, 1500+ gre and 7 publications, you say? we can't hope that he/she'll grow intellectually anymore! for christ's sake, he/she already had more publications than our grad students... combined! lets take someone who we can teach, and be a part of his/her development and success'

This is when our lucky star will shine!

Love that!

[neuro enthusiast]

Man, sometimes I look at the profiles of current students at my top-choice program(s) and I just feel like they're totally out of my league This leads to self-doubt (about my ability to actually get in to these schools).... which leads to a crippling anxiety... which leads to me wasting too much time on this forum. You know, posting about my woes and whatnot.

Maybe I'm just having a rough week with finals and deadlines. Is anyone else in the same boat? Let's commiserate.

Im here. Same boat! This week is SUPER rough. A girl in my lab just got her first phone call....true she did turn in her apps like a month before me, but still! yikes im freaking out. Those profile pics of current students are intimidating, they look so confident... We will get there. Maybe next week. : ) hang in there! Dont let the anxiety get you down.

[katerific]

you GUUUUUUUYS, this is supposed to be a wallowing thread, not a "let's be realistic yet positive about this" thread.

But in all seriousness, I do appreciate the fresh perspectives. I definitely see your points. Oh, what would I do without thegradcafe? I mean, other than study more for my finals

edit: I seemed to have left out a period in my original post, and it's driving me insane. But I can't edit it! Oh, my troubles just keep growing and growing.

Edited December 9, 2010 by katerific

[Melchior]

yo dudes. i got into cambridge and then i received my letter and the academic condition is "Complete your Bachelor's Degree with a CGPA of at least 3.9." Guess what my CGPA is? 3.7. Is there any way to humanly get my GPA to a 3.9 in one semester? NOPE. thanks, cambridge. so now i have to wait for them to reconsider and hopefully change it. it's like "we like you, you're good enough to get in, but we'd like you better if you were ... better." wtf. i almost want to just reject their offer. it's not even an offer. it's like a non-offer. f***!

[eklavya]

yo dudes. i got into cambridge and then i received my letter and the academic condition is "Complete your Bachelor's Degree with a CGPA of at least 3.9." Guess what my CGPA is? 3.7. Is there any way to humanly get my GPA to a 3.9 in one semester? NOPE. thanks, cambridge. so now i have to wait for them to reconsider and hopefully change it. it's like "we like you, you're good enough to get in, but we'd like you better if you were ... better." wtf. i almost want to just reject their offer. it's not even an offer. it's like a non-offer. f***!

dude, that letter is of no use. send it to me.. i am in dire needs of some fire starter for my fireplace.

[Strangefox]

yo dudes. i got into cambridge and then i received my letter and the academic condition is "Complete your Bachelor's Degree with a CGPA of at least 3.9." Guess what my CGPA is? 3.7. Is there any way to humanly get my GPA to a 3.9 in one semester? NOPE. thanks, cambridge. so now i have to wait for them to reconsider and hopefully change it. it's like "we like you, you're good enough to get in, but we'd like you better if you were ... better." wtf. i almost want to just reject their offer. it's not even an offer. it's like a non-offer. f***!

That's cruel! I hope they'll reconsider.

[Melchior]

seriously! doesn't it f***in suck! i am so angry. i apologize for the pseudo-swearing.

i think it comes down to a lack of understanding of our system vs. theirs... if they don't change it i'm just going to go to a different university. i got an amazing offer from king's college, london of only 3.4 GPA and the people there are super nice.

[Strangefox]

seriously! doesn't it f***in suck! i am so angry. i apologize for the pseudo-swearing.

i think it comes down to a lack of understanding of our system vs. theirs... if they don't change it i'm just going to go to a different university. i got an amazing offer from king's college, london of only 3.4 GPA and the people there are super nice.

So you have already got offers? That's great, man! Congrats

[Melchior]

So you have already got offers? That's great, man! Congrats

Thanks! yeah i've gotten three offers already. i'd be really happy to go to king's if cambridge decides to be literally evil and not change their condition if they do that, i say we all boycott them...

[Strangefox]

Thanks! yeah i've gotten three offers already. i'd be really happy to go to king's if cambridge decides to be literally evil and not change their condition if they do that, i say we all boycott them...

Wow, three offers!! *envy*

[Zouzax]

so glad you started this thread.... last time I read the Linguistics forums, I got so depressed. Before, I had this hope that one or two schools would see the potential in me, & want to 'be part of my development & success' (thanks bhikhaari), but after reading how qualified everyone was & the experience theyve had I was SO down on myself.. it was like, who're you fooling???

[Melchior]

Wow, three offers!! *envy*

thanks!

until cambridge responds, i will be punching them... in my mind...

[eklavya]

so glad you started this thread.... last time I read the Linguistics forums, I got so depressed. Before, I had this hope that one or two schools would see the potential in me, & want to 'be part of my development & success' (thanks bhikhaari), but after reading how qualified everyone was & the experience theyve had I was SO down on myself.. it was like, who're you fooling???

We all are in the same boat. Best thing to do is stick together, share experiences and hope for our better future. We'll get there, no worries!

[chocolate_blanche]

A friend used to cheer me up by saying: whatever happens is good. I dont know what this application season holds for me, however rethinking of my college application season 5 years ago somehow makes sense. I only got waitlisted in 2004, reapplied in 2005 and got into somewhere and has been at school until now. That time was terrible especially when you tried so hard and were so young. Little did I know that losing a year compared to others I managed to avoid the previous PhD application season, during which it would have been very tough for me to get in with my in no way '4.0 GPA/ 1500 GRE/ 7 pubs' record.

[balderdash]

thanks!

until cambridge responds, i will be punching them... in my mind...

I'm an American doing an MPhil at Cambridge now, and I can assure you that they do reconsider these things. There are more than a few students doing my course right now who were in your situation. Basically, they give an offer on such a condition just to make sure you work hard through the end of the degree, not because there's anything special about that 3.9 cutoff. If they only wanted people with a 3.9+, they'd have rejected you outright. So no worries there, I'm sure you'll get good news.

As for my own wallowing, I've been applying to PhD programs literally since July. I have been going over and over all of my app materials for months, and I submitted way back in October. But one of my references is having difficulty submitting her letters, so I am missing three of seven schools' copies. One deadline is tomorrow, another is the 15th, and a final deadline is the 30th. I'm stressing out so much about these! I just want the application process to be OVER.

[Melchior]

I'm an American doing an MPhil at Cambridge now, and I can assure you that they do reconsider these things. There are more than a few students doing my course right now who were in your situation. Basically, they give an offer on such a condition just to make sure you work hard through the end of the degree, not because there's anything special about that 3.9 cutoff. If they only wanted people with a 3.9+, they'd have rejected you outright. So no worries there, I'm sure you'll get good news.

As for my own wallowing, I've been applying to PhD programs literally since July. I have been going over and over all of my app materials for months, and I submitted way back in October. But one of my references is having difficulty submitting her letters, so I am missing three of seven schools' copies. One deadline is tomorrow, another is the 15th, and a final deadline is the 30th. I'm stressing out so much about these! I just want the application process to be OVER.

Oh my goodness, you just made me feel so much better. Thank you!

[A. sesquipedale]

Man, sometimes I look at the profiles of current students at my top-choice program(s) and I just feel like they're totally out of my league. This leads to self-doubt (about my ability to actually get in to these schools).... which leads to a crippling anxiety... which leads to me wasting too much time on this forum. You know, posting about my woes and whatnot.

Maybe I'm just having a rough week with finals and deadlines. Is anyone else in the same boat? Let's commiserate.

I hear you completely! I feel the same way. And also I added the period you missed in your quote above in case it cheers you up

It is especially difficult when you know you are set on the career grad school trains you for but that you feel like you are behind everyone else because of your stats (my overall GPA is 3.3 major GPA 3.6). I started taking college courses when I was 16 but it was more because I loathed high school than because I wanted a head start. As a result, my early college grades are all over the place from 4.0 to >2.0 to W depending on various factors. Sometimes I feel like I just can't compete with people who have 3.8-4.0 and 1500 GRE considering how competitive this process is. What's worse, last year I got basically universally rejected (although I'll admit my SOP was pretty unfocused and it was probably for the best as I've had a lot of time to re-think my goals and interests) and that really stings! I keep having this nagging feeling that even though I've done everything I could in a year to make myself a better applicant, things won't go as I hope.

Ahhhhhh, that was cathartic, thanks for the thread

[katerific]

So glad to see that people like this thread. Good to know that we're not alone in these things! and thanks, sesqui, I feel much better with proper punctuation

In new news, I am so terrified about my GPA for this fall semester--I think it might be my worst one yet. I hope grad schools don't totally hate me for it...

[Melchior]

I'm an American doing an MPhil at Cambridge now, and I can assure you that they do reconsider these things. There are more than a few students doing my course right now who were in your situation. Basically, they give an offer on such a condition just to make sure you work hard through the end of the degree, not because there's anything special about that 3.9 cutoff. If they only wanted people with a 3.9+, they'd have rejected you outright. So no worries there, I'm sure you'll get good news.

As for my own wallowing, I've been applying to PhD programs literally since July. I have been going over and over all of my app materials for months, and I submitted way back in October. But one of my references is having difficulty submitting her letters, so I am missing three of seven schools' copies. One deadline is tomorrow, another is the 15th, and a final deadline is the 30th. I'm stressing out so much about these! I just want the application process to be OVER.

You were right- they amended my offer less than a week after setting the impossible one!