It Has Begun

[Iknownothing]

Unfortunately, you said it in a snarky tone of voice. StrangeLight didn't. It's all well and good that you're a third time applicant--really, I hope you get in somewhere--but for those of us who haven't done this before, it's kind of second nature to worry. It just is. And you telling us "i told you so" just kind of makes you come off as a b**ch. Just saying.

On a similar point, some of us don't have people in our lives that we can talk to about our neuroses, so we come here instead. This is where I can say I go to let off some steam and find others who understand exactly what I'm going through. Telling us "newbies" to just log off is to not take into account the possibility that we need to be here, if for no other reason than solidarity.

Thank you old timers for your advice, but telling us "I told you so" isn't helping.

Heck Yeah! I couldn't have said it better myself EricaMarie!

By the way Ticklemepink, it's really elitist for you to say "Once you get into grad school you'll realize . . . " I AM already in grad school (Masters) and I can't stand grad students who think they have all the answers.

That being said, I also use this forum to let off steam and commiserate with others who are in the same situation. It's fun! I've already been accepted to one school with full funding, but I'm excited to see what else happens.

[rsldonk]

One of my Americanist friends got a denial letter from Indiana yesterday. Not sure how serious he was about getting in there or not, so I can't give any more details than that.

[StrangeLight]

Unfortunately, you said it in a snarky tone of voice. StrangeLight didn't. It's all well and good that you're a third time applicant--really, I hope you get in somewhere--but for those of us who haven't done this before, it's kind of second nature to worry.

not that tickle requires any defense, i'm gonna give it anyway. in her three rounds of applying, the first resulted in an MA, and the second in "consolation" MA offers due to lack of funding, something you will all become familiar with in just a few months. your "really, I hope you get in somewhere" implies that you think tickle has had two previous rounds without success, which is very bitchy of you, as well as inaccurate.

And you telling us "i told you so" just kind of makes you come off as a b**ch. Just saying.

i admire your courage to use the word "bitch" without actually typing out all the letters. that takes guts to remove a few letters so you can somehow justify your usage of a pejorative term without having to take any personal responsibility for it. you get to put the word in our head without feeling like an asshole in the process. either use the term and own it, in all its ugliness, or don't.

On a similar point, some of us don't have people in our lives that we can talk to about our neuroses, so we come here instead. This is where I can say I go to let off some steam and find others who understand exactly what I'm going through. Telling us "newbies" to just log off is to not take into account the possibility that we need to be here, if for no other reason than solidarity.

this is not the place to blow off steam. this is the place to build up pressure. no one in your real life knows what you're going through, i understand that. but you don't even realize how stressful this process is until you can cross-check your neuroses with other applicants and realize, oh my god, we applied for the same program and he received an email and i didn't. if you didn't log on here, you'd never have that information, and so you wouldn't have that source of stress. for example, the rejection from indiana... everyone that applied to indiana will now compulsively check their emails and, if they don't find a rejection in the next day or two, will assume that they will receive an offer. if and when a rejection comes 4 weeks from now, they will be even more unprepared for it because they saw that the "first round rejections" (or however we choose to interpret this information) happened ages ago.

also, a lot of solidarity you're finding here. you've come for advice on how to deal with the application process and remove some of the stress and when you're given that advice from people with firsthand experience, you decide it's not worth taking because we haven't "take[n] into account the possibility that [you] need to be here." really? the people that have lived this experience already haven't taken into account what this experience is like for you? really. now that doesn't make any sense.

tickle is right. weeks ago, first-time applicants were on here encouraging each other to bombard graduate secretaries with emails saying "did you get all my stuff? did you get it? do you have it yet? do you have everything?" and tickle said, based on past experience, programs will notify you when something is missing. everyone shot her down. everyone. "no one will look out for you but you!!" and then, once the departments finally started sorting applications in the new year, many people received emails or phone calls explaining that some materials were missing. tickle was right. and when she politely pointed out that she was right, and that people should just relax and try to let go of the stress, she was jumped on for it. "no, the fact that these departments emailed me to tell me stuff was missing just proves how important it is for me to ask them in early january if they have all my stuff yet." no, that is not what that proves. not even a little bit.

every single response to an email of "do you have all my stuff?" has been "if we're missing something, we'll let you know." and those departments would let you know whether or not you emailed them once a week saying "is all my stuff there?" so, after some really negative reactions to tickle's polite and CORRECT advice, she decides to say "i told you so." and then you call her a bitch. oh, i'm sorry, a b**ch.

but if i feel this way, why bother coming here anymore? well, for one thing, there are other forums on this site that are still useful to me. for another, it's an excellent source of procrastination. and initially, i thought giving some advice or insight would be helpful on this forum, since i found it helpful when i applied two years ago. but now i'm just sticking around to watch the rejections roll in from some of the more pompous, self-righteous, and delusional among you.

[Iknownothing]

Wow! I think everybody needs to just calm down! Think happy thoughts...Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. Guys, don't take this experience and turn it into something negative. We are all colleagues and this is an exciting time.

[EricaMarie]

not that tickle requires any defense, i'm gonna give it anyway. in her three rounds of applying, the first resulted in an MA, and the second in "consolation" MA offers due to lack of funding, something you will all become familiar with in just a few months. your "really, I hope you get in somewhere" implies that you think tickle has had two previous rounds without success, which is very bitchy of you, as well as inaccurate.

I, like other who read signatures, am aware that tickle has gotten into a masters program. While I may not have been clear about it, my comment was more in hopes that she gets into a Ph.D. program. I was unclear, which I'll apologize for.

i admire your courage to use the word "bitch" without actually typing out all the letters. that takes guts to remove a few letters so you can somehow justify your usage of a pejorative term without having to take any personal responsibility for it. you get to put the word in our head without feeling like an asshole in the process. either use the term and own it, in all its ugliness, or don't.

Not everyone appreciates the use of foul language. I use it like a sailor because, hey, that's how I grew up. However, I know that some people do not appreciate it. However if you'd prefer that I say that tickle was being a solid bitch in another thread about this, then fine. I'll say that. She was being a bitch about it. And if you really want to play this game, go fuck yourself. Better?

this is not the place to blow off steam. this is the place to build up pressure. no one in your real life knows what you're going through, i understand that. but you don't even realize how stressful this process is until you can cross-check your neuroses with other applicants and realize, oh my god, we applied for the same program and he received an email and i didn't. if you didn't log on here, you'd never have that information, and so you wouldn't have that source of stress. for example, the rejection from indiana... everyone that applied to indiana will now compulsively check their emails and, if they don't find a rejection in the next day or two, will assume that they will receive an offer. if and when a rejection comes 4 weeks from now, they will be even more unprepared for it because they saw that the "first round rejections" (or however we choose to interpret this information) happened ages ago.

And where are those people going to go when they get rejected? Here, for a little bit of sympathy. I've seen that so far. I've also seen that this is where people go to hang out to help forget about the waiting. And honestly? If they're here, it's less time they spend refreshing their emails. I also highly doubt that those of us applying this cycle are assuming that, just because we don't get a rejection email within a few days of one email, doesn't mean we won't be rejected. We're not stupid. We simply have hope.

also, a lot of solidarity you're finding here. you've come for advice on how to deal with the application process and remove some of the stress and when you're given that advice from people with firsthand experience, you decide it's not worth taking because we haven't "take[n] into account the possibility that [you] need to be here." really? the people that have lived this experience already haven't taken into account what this experience is like for you? really. now that doesn't make any sense.

I never said it wasn't worth taking. Honestly, I was all for taking your original advice of logging off. I never said it was bad advice. I said tickle was being a bitch about giving that advice. Which, in turn, makes us less likely to listen to her. Because she's being snarky, which isn't helping. And the people who have lived this experience do have a lot of good advice, but they aren't me, are they? They have no idea what my life is like, so they shouldn't judge me for being here as often as I am. It's one thing to say "hey, relax, you'll get the emails when you get them. if you hang out here for three months, you'll be unproductive." That's giving us a reason to log off--find something more productive to do to forget about the waiting, and we can't control when or if we get stuff. It's quite another to say "Nobody listened when I said to relax...Nobody listens to me at all and I'm a third time applicant." Bitch bitch bitch, whine whine whine. "Oh nobody listens to me!!" pout pout pout. Seriously? It makes her sound like a whineass. No wonder nobody listens to her.

I'm not saying she's not intelligent, and I'm not saying that she doesn't have solid points. But she has a really shitty way of getting those points across.

tickle is right. weeks ago, first-time applicants were on here encouraging each other to bombard graduate secretaries with emails saying "did you get all my stuff? did you get it? do you have it yet? do you have everything?" and tickle said, based on past experience, programs will notify you when something is missing. everyone shot her down. everyone. "no one will look out for you but you!!" and then, once the departments finally started sorting applications in the new year, many people received emails or phone calls explaining that some materials were missing. tickle was right. and when she politely pointed out that she was right, and that people should just relax and try to let go of the stress, she was jumped on for it. "no, the fact that these departments emailed me to tell me stuff was missing just proves how important it is for me to ask them in early january if they have all my stuff yet." no, that is not what that proves. not even a little bit.

Like I said, I never said she was stupid. Nor did I tell anyone not to listen to her. All I said was that her advice comes across as snarky, and doesn't help anybody, least of all herself if she wants to be heard.

every single response to an email of "do you have all my stuff?" has been "if we're missing something, we'll let you know." and those departments would let you know whether or not you emailed them once a week saying "is all my stuff there?" so, after some really negative reactions to tickle's polite and CORRECT advice, she decides to say "i told you so." and then you call her a bitch. oh, i'm sorry, a b**ch.

You're damn right I call her a bitch for saying "I told you so." Nobody likes a know-it-all, and most people really despise people who say "I told you so." We don't need to be told "I told you so." Like I said, it doesn't help anybody, and it makes her come across as a know-it-all, pompous, self-righteous bitch.

but if i feel this way, why bother coming here anymore? well, for one thing, there are other forums on this site that are still useful to me. for another, it's an excellent source of procrastination. and initially, i thought giving some advice or insight would be helpful on this forum, since i found it helpful when i applied two years ago. but now i'm just sticking around to watch the rejections roll in from some of the more pompous, self-righteous, and delusional among you.

Like I said originally, your advice was good. It came off as hard, but kind. You didn't come across as a dick trying to make the rest of us feel like shit for wanting a place to talk. You didn't say "well nobody listens to me, so I told you so." I'm not advocating a lack of advice. I'm advocating advice that isn't snarky or bitchy in tone.

You wanna help us? Then help us. Tell us it's a good idea to get off the computer and go outside. Tell us it'd be better for our mental health if we block this website, because otherwise we're all going to become neurotic (although if we all did that, there'd be no point to some of the subforums here). Tell us to go read a book for fun, or walk the dog (if we have one, as I do). Tell us that, at this point, there is nothing we can do but wait, and obsessing about it won't make decisions get to us any faster.

Tell us that, if we must be here, avoid the threads that force us to compare ourselves so that we feel inadequate.

But if you want to help? Don't tell us "I told you so."

Edited January 27, 2011 by EricaMarie

[radagast]

I really hope that this thread does not completely devolve into an angry chain of posts back and forth. As a first time applicant, I use this site for information and honestly to get a bit of a laugh in now and then. I am the type of person who really wants to know what's coming and waiting in the dark would probably be much more difficult for me. I like that here I can get a rough guideline of when I will hear back and also read about other people who are in my same shoes. I have been reading gradcafe for two years, since long before I began the application process because the whole thing is much like a blog to me. I get to read about others experiences, gain knowledge for myself, and provide myself with a modicum of entertainment every day. I work at a public school and thus can't access facebook so this forum has become my new procrastination tool. And let me tell you, I have been a member of loads of ridiculous forums in the past from a college admissions to a white supremacy; from baking to parenting. (I am neither a white supremacist, baker, nor a parent. I did get into college though.)

That said, Ticklemepink and StrangeLight, as much as you say to chill out and wait, you are also still members of this site. Your advice can be an excellent help, which I thank you for, but when you tell us to chill out or log off the forum, you have to realize that you are refusing to do exactly what you tell us to do and have gone through this rodeo before. Obviously the site functions as something in your life as well, be it as entertainment, news, or simply a place to feel knowledgeable. People will disagree on this forum, and there has been much more disagreement in this year than last. We should all take a step back, grab a beer, and realize that none of this arguing is helping anyone.

And everyone, could we cool down on the swearing? I watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and work with lower income third graders and thus get enough of that in other places. Don't use the vocabulary of a gross TV show or a nine year old trying to shock others in order to get your point across.

Lastly, I would like to say that I get Lunar New Year off from teaching (February 3/4) and thus am doomed to sit around refreshing my email while getting paid to lesson plan. I might have to take some vacation time just so I can go do something else, like eat cupcakes and sing in the shower. All day.

Edited January 27, 2011 by radagast

[qbtacoma]

I come to GradCafe like radagast and others for the information, procrastination, the conversation about the process, etc. I enjoy hearing news other people are getting because it is similar to benevolent gossip in real life. Checking for news doesn't make me anxious or rile me up, though I don't see why anyone else should care that it did. I don't know anyone else personally who is going through the process and cares about it like I do, which is why I like the forum.

I think people should just give up caring about being right all the time. People are going to give advice that others don't take, people are going to disagree, and I don't really see the point of arguing about it all, especially when the real issue isn't the advice itself or the disagreement but rather the rude way in which those things are conveyed.

[Goldwater64]

In all fairness, the waiting seems terrible now, but in some ways that's a fun part of the process. At this point, there's still some uncertainty and you never know what could happen, for all you know you'll be accepted everywhere. So you fantasize a little about where you'll be a few months from now, who your adviser will be, and dream of being a doctoral student in a program you love, especially if you aren't already in grad school... The reality of budget cuts, departmental bureaucracy, shabby treatment, annoying fellow graduate students, poor advising, and lack of job openings in higher education aren't at the forefront. The future holds limitless possibilities, every email is a possible acceptance, every voicemail or unknown number a professor saying, "I love you, I've got money for you, call me."

At this point, you've only begun the wonderful journey of anxiety about acceptance, validation from others, and financial worries that is a 5+ year doctoral degree, but also the bonding process of commiserating with others in a similar situation when everyone else says, "you don't have a real job." I would say enjoy it.

Edited January 27, 2011 by Goldwater64

[barricades]

So, I'm assuming that by the tone of the posts it has now truly begun?

[gradwoes]

. . . every voicemail or unknown number a professor saying, "I love you, I've got money for you, call me." . . .

What if one already gets those voicemails, but they have nothing to do with admissions?

[EricaMarie]

What if one already gets those voicemails, but they have nothing to do with admissions?

Then you've got an entirely different set of issues, I'd say!

[RDX]

I come to GradCafe like radagast and others for the information, procrastination, the conversation about the process, etc. I enjoy hearing news other people are getting because it is similar to benevolent gossip in real life. Checking for news doesn't make me anxious or rile me up, though I don't see why anyone else should care that it did. I don't know anyone else personally who is going through the process and cares about it like I do, which is why I like the forum.

I think people should just give up caring about being right all the time. People are going to give advice that others don't take, people are going to disagree, and I don't really see the point of arguing about it all, especially when the real issue isn't the advice itself or the disagreement but rather the rude way in which those things are conveyed.

Glad I am (or we are) not the only one. I came here to check news and don't really get very much anxious reading updates (except for once or twice haha). I do understand people are getting a little bit er.. over.. under the stress but I wish we all could calm down and enjoy the talk.

[sankd]

Are we back to results reporting? Ohio State already started sending out rejections. I didn't apply there, but a colleague of mine (East Asia/Japan) did. They actually sent him a somewhat personalized rejection letter rather than the usual general 'So many applicants! SORRY!' spiel.

So far, I haven't heard a thing. Checked all of my status pages today to make sure no materials were missing too.

[nhyn]

i dont know if it helps anyone, but Columbia already started calling people. My friend who doesn't use gradcafe got called by 2 different professors, both in modern Jap history. They did not mention when the results would be out (she didn't ask), and di say that they haven't picked anyone yet, although one of the prof seemed highly enthusiastic about my friend's application.

[modern]

i dont know if it helps anyone, but Columbia already started calling people. My friend who doesn't use gradcafe got called by 2 different professors, both in modern Jap history. They did not mention when the results would be out (she didn't ask), and di say that they haven't picked anyone yet, although one of the prof seemed highly enthusiastic about my friend's application.

Damn, this and the announcement about NYU already inviting people... I hope it's just for the fields mentioned (Japanese History in Columbia and American History at NYU).

[my future is history]

Just a heads up:

The use of the term "Jap," even as an abbreviation, is generally taboo. While not as egregious as "gook" it is still considered an ethnic slur by many (myself included, although I am not Japanese).

A more PC abbreviation for Japanese is Jpn.

For details:

http://www.jref.com/nikkeiview/jap.shtml

[modern]

Thanks for the info about "Jap".

That said, and although I did not use it, the person that did clearly did not mean it in any sort of insulting way at all, and was refering to a historic subfield and not to people, so it was evidently just a way to save words. Words should not be considered slur without taking in consideration the context of usage IMO.

[radagast]

Thanks for the info about "Jap".

That said, and although I did not use it, the person that did clearly did not mean it in any sort of insulting way at all, and was refering to a historic subfield and not to people, so it was evidently just a way to save words. Words should not be considered slur without taking in consideration the context of usage IMO.

This was just unnecessary. The poster wasn't trying to insult the person who used the abbreviation. They were merely trying to explain the correct terminology. Personally, I am grateful I now know the way to abbreviate Japan/Japanese so I don't offend someone in real life later. If the person had said "nig history" when referring to Nigeria, I would certainly say something about not abbreviating the word that way. Anyways, we might as well learn the correct way to write it now so that, in the future, we know how to refer to different subfields.

[Iknownothing]

My grandmother-in-law saw both of her parents die in the Firebombings of Tokyo and eventually moved to the US as a Japanese War Bride (also sometimes considered an offensive term, many prefer to be called international brides). She endured several unfortunate instances of being called a Jap in a most hateful way. So, yes, it is a very loaded word that one must be careful with.

That being said, let's all be civil to each other! Let's not let the anonymity of the internet release our inner id's.

[modern]

I actually said I'm thankful for the information as I didn't know what the term implies either.

I was just trying to say that the person who used the term didn't mean bad and to make a point that the meaning of words come from their contexts of usage - which in this case did not intend anything derogatory at all clearly.

I'm at peace with my "inner ID" honestly (except for the neverending waiting of these weeks) and do understand that it might be a sensible topic. You are right to point the lexic precisions. I come from a minority group too, at least in part, although really try not to pick up on expressions unless I really believe that the intentions behind them are offensive.

I don't see why a third party should consider what I thought was a polite reply on the matter "unnecessary".

Anyways, good luck to you both with the applications and sorry if I offended anyone.

[RDX]

Just a heads up:

The use of the term "Jap," even as an abbreviation, is generally taboo. While not as egregious as "gook" it is still considered an ethnic slur by many (myself included, although I am not Japanese).

A more PC abbreviation for Japanese is Jpn.

For details:

http://www.jref.com/...iview/jap.shtml

Thanks for this.. my bad.. sincere apology to anyone who's offended or might be. my post's been removed as well.

Edited January 28, 2011 by RDX

[thepoorstockinger]

i dont know if it helps anyone, but Columbia already started calling people. My friend who doesn't use gradcafe got called by 2 different professors, both in modern Japanese history. They did not mention when the results would be out (she didn't ask), and di say that they haven't picked anyone yet, although one of the prof seemed highly enthusiastic about my friend's application.

Anyone know if this is only happening in Japanese/East Asian history at Columbia or if other fields there are also making contact with potential students?

[K Ryan]

That NYU post is seriously driving me mad. It says American history, would anyone like to take credit and maybe clarify what area of American history, because I am early American/ Colonial.

[RDX]

Anyone know if this is only happening in Japanese/East Asian history at Columbia or if other fields there are also making contact with potential students?

I hope (I mean really really really really hope) it's only in the Japanese history... I am in the East Asian history (and I know I wrote a terribly bad Essay) and haven't heard anything from Columbia although my LoR writer just had couple lunches with Columbia professors

[natsteel]

That NYU post is seriously driving me mad. It says American history, would anyone like to take credit and maybe clarify what area of American history, because I am early American/ Colonial.

K Ryan, may I ask which professor you applied to work with at NYU? I'm in early American/colonial as well and was just wondering...

Edited January 28, 2011 by natsteel