lastminute Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) I rather impulsively chose a school I thought I'd ruled out. Now I regret it. It's a great program but just doesn't feel right. Do I have buyer's remorse? Will it pass? Was I crazy to do that? Or... has anyone pulled a switcheroo and lived to tell the tale? [Edited to add that these are small doctoral programs in the social sciences. Not assigned to any lab but have talked a lot with the profs I will probably work with. Small field. So switching is probably not an option.] Edited April 14, 2011 by lastminute
cupoftea Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 This is a very stressful process. I am not confident in my decision either (its the only one I never visited!) and I have many fears. The bottom line is, everything has positives and negatives and you never really know what is best. you made a choice now try to celebrate it.
lastminute Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 Also, as there's a lot of sensitivity to waitlist issues on here: I was informed by the program that they did not have a waitlist. Had I not accepted there would have simply been one fewer in the cohort. If the spot would have been available to others had I turned it down earlier, I definitely would have. Now I wish I did... :/
lastminute Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 This is a very stressful process. I am not confident in my decision either (its the only one I never visited!) and I have many fears. The bottom line is, everything has positives and negatives and you never really know what is best. you made a choice now try to celebrate it. That's really reassuring, cupoftea. Thanks. I still kind of wish I could switch tho.
Jcantrone Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 Hi lastminute, I'm in social sciences too, and was having similar concerns but ultimately feel at peace. Can I ask what the schools you were choosing between, or among, are? And what your field is? I can offer my honest, unbiased opinion on your options and your final decision. I rather impulsively chose a school I thought I'd ruled out. Now I regret it. It's a great program but just doesn't feel right. Do I have buyer's remorse? Will it pass? Was I crazy to do that? Or... has anyone pulled a switcheroo and lived to tell the tale? [Edited to add that these are small doctoral programs in the social sciences. Not assigned to any lab but have talked a lot with the profs I will probably work with. Small field. So switching is probably not an option.] schoolpsych_hopeful and ZeeMore21 1 1
lastminute Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 Hi lastminute, I'm in social sciences too, and was having similar concerns but ultimately feel at peace. Can I ask what the schools you were choosing between, or among, are? And what your field is? I can offer my honest, unbiased opinion on your options and your final decision. Hope you don't mind if I keep that under wraps. If anyone from my the school/program that I chose saw this, I would be mortified! And my decision has already been made, so it would be a big deal to rescind. Ludwig von Dracula 1
beanbagchairs Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) I understand all the anxiety. After all, this is a big step in your life. Since you have made your decision, I suggest to forgo other choices and concentrate to prep yourself for grad school. I have scrutinized every aspect of my offers before making my decision; I still have anxiety about it. That's normal. It's time to celebrate. You've got yourself into a grad school! cheers! Edited April 14, 2011 by beanbagchairs
Robtastic Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 I would try not to stress, and look at your decision making history. If you have "grass is greener" track record of liking other things just because you don't have 'em then I'd take a serious second look about what you want to do, and why you didn't choose the one you want to begin with. I don't think anyone would say grad school isn't a big decision so choosing a school impulsively, probably wasn't the best move. Also kudos on adding to the stereo type that all grad students are finicky prima donnas ;P just kidding. tangrinka and wannabee 1 1
lastminute Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 choosing a school impulsively, probably wasn't the best move. Also kudos on adding to the stereo type that all grad students are finicky prima donnas ;P just kidding. Lesson learned. I have serious issues regarding decision-making. And I have to admit that you're more than right-on with that joke. Sigh. Everyone is probably right to tell me just to stick with it and enjoy (after all, it's ranked equal to my other choices)! But seriously: do people ever do a flip-flop within a 24 hour period? It's all been verbal so far, so no one has signed anything, but I was very unequivocal in my acceptance and rejections. I know it's a terrible idea. But is it POSSIBLE to do it without killing your reputation?
acetylcoa Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) Lesson learned. I have serious issues regarding decision-making. And I have to admit that you're more than right-on with that joke. Sigh. Everyone is probably right to tell me just to stick with it and enjoy (after all, it's ranked equal to my other choices)! But seriously: do people ever do a flip-flop within a 24 hour period? It's all been verbal so far, so no one has signed anything, but I was very unequivocal in my acceptance and rejections. I know it's a terrible idea. But is it POSSIBLE to do it without killing your reputation? My first immediate feeling after deciding was that I made the wrong choice. The feeling will go away after a few days! Be confident in your decision and remember why you chose it. - Ace Edited April 14, 2011 by acetylcoa
bluish Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 I actually got into my "dream school" on the day I interviewed at another school that I ended up loving. So I accepted pretty quickly but was forced to reconsider when I got into the other school. Even though I had been so sure from the beginning of where I wanted to be! It was weird to me how difficult the decision seemed all of a sudden. In fact, I just turned the other school down today and I'm still wondering, "What if I'm really supposed to be going there?" But I just think about the fact I accomplished the goal I had all along and it helps.
farnsworth Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 I got into one place, so no buyers remorse here. I actually am really happy about the place that I got into and would have picked it over many of the others that gave the ole 'no thanks'.
lastminute Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 Thanks so much, guys. This is all SO reassuring to know I'm not alone on this. I'm letting it all sink in, and starting to get really excited about my choice!!
runonsentence Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I'm of the mind that sometimes there is no "wrong" choice, just two different choices. And that we have the ability to make each of them good choices for us and to make ourselves happy wherever we end up. ejbrooks, Zouzax, lyonessrampant and 3 others 6
Zouzax Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I only got into one program too. Thankfully it's a program that I really like. Before I knew I would only be accepted to one program, I was stressing about what I would do if two or more schools offered acceptance -- which would I choose? How would I make the decision? How would I know that my decision was the right one? I think it's natural that you're feeling some 'buyer's remorse'. I have a hard time making decisions, too so I think I would be experiencing the same thing in your position --- the big ol' WHAT IF. runonsentence is right when they say there isn't a 'wrong' decision per se, just a different one. its a great way to look at it. give yourself a little more time & think about the reasons why you DID choose the school & all the great things thatll come out of going there. Im sure things'll be fine in a few days.
tibbles Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 I got into my top choice school, but had to at least visit other schools to give me piece of mind. I still have second thoughts and doubts, even though I had a great link with the professors, love the location and know that the department and university will support exactly the kind of research I want to do. It's a big change in life, it's natural to second guess yourself.
GI1 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 I'm not that sure about the decision I made, It's a great school but I have to move away so far from ppl I like for some years, so it's definitely a BIG move and is the greatest change in my life EVER. I feel stressed, but this is what I wanted, to be able to enter grad school, to improve my situation, to become experienced, to learn and more great things, so hopefuly it's all for good and don't worry that much about your choice, it's gonna be alright
mclash Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 I only got into one school, and it is my absolute dream program. I've accepted and am getting geared up to go in September ... with it being the PERFECT program for me, and not even having other options to choose from ... I STILL have my doubts. I find myself wondering if I want to put up with the loans, the debt, the incredible amount of work, etc. I've been working my ass off to get into this program for several months, and I finally achieved what I aimed to do- and even I have doubts. Doubting is going to happen when you make large life decisions. It's okay to doubt, but try to recognize it for what it is. If it's something you're pretty sure you can't live with, then that's one thing. But regrets are a waste of time. Learn from your experience for the next time you are in a similar position, but there's no point in dwelling on what could've been. Easier said than done, of course- but it's helpful to be reminded sometimes.
entertext Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 I got into my dream program as well, but I do wonder if I've made the wrong choice. I chose an unfunded offer, and I have very little money. Sometimes I'm sick with worry about if actually being able to do it. It might not have been the wisest decision, but even if it's difficult, I know I won't have any regrets down the road for not taking the chance. I think it's natural to worry, but you just have to go with it, and not think too much about the "what ifs."
neuropsych76 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 (edited) I know I made the right choice.... I was lucky to be accepted into a school that was an overall great fit. But my SO already accepted a program 700 miles away from me and just found out that she was waitlisted at the same school I will be attending!!! It's a pretty awful feeling She had to accept when she did but I just wish she could have had the option to go the same school. I wish they let her know earlier! Edited April 19, 2011 by neuropsych76
ep1181 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 I'm of the mind that sometimes there is no "wrong" choice, just two different choices. And that we have the ability to make each of them good choices for us and to make ourselves happy wherever we end up. I totally agree with this. That is how I'm approaching my decision, it's not wrong it's just what I decided on!
tkovach05 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 I got into my dream program as well, but I do wonder if I've made the wrong choice. I chose an unfunded offer, and I have very little money. Sometimes I'm sick with worry about if actually being able to do it. It might not have been the wisest decision, but even if it's difficult, I know I won't have any regrets down the road for not taking the chance. I think it's natural to worry, but you just have to go with it, and not think too much about the "what ifs." I'm in the same boat: I actually turned down partially funded offer (40% tuition, no living expenses or stipend) to take an unfunded offer that will double my debt load. I had a lot of doubt and worry as I was trying to make my decision. Initially I was going to dismiss American off-hand when I got the offer without funding, but ultimately I am pretty sure it was the right choice. The partial scholarship from The New School didn't add up to a significant enough savings for me to choose it over American, and I got a whopping $6,000 pittance from NYU (on a $62,000 total cost of attendance!). I am the kind of person who researches any remotely significant decision (car, apartment, computer, etc.) like crazy, but then when I'm confident I pull the trigger right away. I put together this whole 35-criteria list to compare SIS and Milano, but the moment I spoke to the profs at SIS I knew my decision. Fortunately the gut feeling I got while on campus matched the quantitative anaylsis I did (SIS won 86.5-77). Now I just need to work hard my first year and do my best to get funding for year 2. kickpushcoast 1
katemiddleton Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 (edited) I am actually having buyers remorse right now. I chose a big-name ivy and not-the-best fit for an MA, versus a lesser-ranked school that was absolutely a perfect fit for the MA. Now i'm scared that I will have advising issues, and I'm not sure what to do! Edited April 20, 2011 by katemiddleton
automata Posted April 21, 2011 Posted April 21, 2011 I took a better-funded offer at a big-name Ivy at the encouragement of my mentors... when I felt I fit in much better at a smaller school that offered a less money. I think if I'd chosen based on my gut I'd be having huge anxiety attacks about paying back my student loans, but now I'm having anxiety about fit. Either way, there are positives and negatives.
ikatticus Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 I got into my first choice university, fully funded, with a professor I deeply respect in a city I love, and I am still doubting myself. Not that I have made the wrong choice, but I am flying half way across the world to a great university and think they must have made a mistake in accepting me because I will get there and won't be good enough.
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