0% Confidence of Acceptance

[thestage]

the same day I figured out I had more or less been eliminated from stanford consideration, my friend got offered $50000 to do a project he said would take him maybe a couple of weeks worth of work. he's a year out of undergrad, and has a steady job on top of his contract work. meanwhile, I was hoping against hope to beat out 500 people for one of ten slots at a place where I could work for six years for the privledge of having a shot at a job that would start at a yearly salary of not-quite my friend's contract.

some days are harder than others.

on the other hand, maybe he can buy me something LOLCAPITALISM

Edited February 10, 2012 by thestage

[Grunty DaGnome]

Ughhh Little Steve's. I have heard all kinds of horror stories about that place... like the one about them mopping the flattop with the floor mop and the one about cigarette ash in the submarine sandwich... yeah... gross. Had a good date there one time though. Got laid, anyway.

Oh Crap! Little Stevie's! That's what it was called. Someone was always passed out on the pavement in front of that place. Not even the disposessed, legit citizens, I mean. I'm glad they brought the magic for you

[Grunty DaGnome]

the same day I figured out I had more or less been eliminated from stanford consideration, my friend got offered $50000 to do a project he said would take him maybe a couple of weeks worth of work. he's a year out of undergrad, and has a steady job on top of his contract work. meanwhile, I was hoping against hope to beat out 500 people for one of ten slots at a place where I could work for six years for the privledge of having a shot at a job that would start at a yearly salary of not-quite my friend's contract.

some days are harder than others.

on the other hand, maybe he can buy me something LOLCAPITALISM

Yeah, that's pretty much my little brother too. Be strong.

[perrykm2]

I actually feel better that I'm not a crazy lunatic for crying over shoes.

[perrykm2]

Or, I'm not the only crazy lunatic.

[Timshel]

I actually feel better that I'm not a crazy lunatic for crying over shoes.

I literally had a cry fest the night before I got my acceptance. Keep hope alive!

[wintergirl]

Or, I'm not the only crazy lunatic.

I literally had a cry fest the night before I got my acceptance. Keep hope alive!

I'm currently postponing my cryfest in lieu of drinking lots of bourbon with new acquaintances (and people who've survived this process and gotten their PhDs) at a conference. They've been consoling me with their own eventual success stories.

Rejection, schmection. Bourbon cures all! \O/

[Aztecson23]

I think what I've learned is that, despite what I've heard from some profs/other students, an MA is really, really helpful in defining and focusing your academic interests as well as just getting the postgraduate experience. I'm feeling much more confident about my decision to apply for three (soon to be four) MAs and only one PhD.

I agree. I know for sure that the clarity of my writing and the quality of my scholarship improved dramatically as a result of working on an M.A. degree. I'm all for it. I'm not sure I could have gotten into a PhD program had I applied straight out of undergrad.

Edited February 10, 2012 by Aztecson23

[lolopixie]

I actually feel better that I'm not a crazy lunatic for crying over shoes.

You're not crazy for crying over boots. You work really hard and don't get to treat yourself. I get it. Even working full-time, I don't have enough to splurge. And it is completely natural to feel that jealousy over people whose parents pay for everything. My parents haven't paid for my living, food, clothing, blahblahblah, since I was 18. It is really hard when you see people getting things (even if they are material) that you want and feel that you deserve because you have worked hard and deserve them too. Try to treat yourself every once and a while. Even if it is something as simple as a pedicure, you gotta make yourself feel good every once and a while.

[seafoam]

I used to live near Q Division and I'd always fantasize about the Pixes recording Surfer Rosa there.

I'm UMass Amherst, I'm pretty sure they went to the main campus? I know Sonic Youth did too, and I occasionally run into J Mascis doing random things about town...

**aaaand just got my first rejection of the season. Defeatist attitude setting in.

Edited February 10, 2012 by seafoam

[Starlajane]

According to Google Maps, Jack's is now a block of plywood, Piano Forte is a "Berklee Music," and Costello's liquor (who sold to my underage self multiple times) is a T-Mobile. What the F happened to that block?

That's something that I have always loved (and miss) about the Northeast: package stores that are willing to sell to minors and clubs/bars that don't care how old you are but how old you act. Those were, indeed, the days.

Edited February 10, 2012 by Starlajane

[HaruNoKaze]

You're not crazy for crying over boots. You work really hard and don't get to treat yourself. I get it. Even working full-time, I don't have enough to splurge. And it is completely natural to feel that jealousy over people whose parents pay for everything. My parents haven't paid for my living, food, clothing, blahblahblah, since I was 18. It is really hard when you see people getting things (even if they are material) that you want and feel that you deserve because you have worked hard and deserve them too. Try to treat yourself every once and a while. Even if it is something as simple as a pedicure, you gotta make yourself feel good every once and a while.

Lolo - I am right there with you. It drives me crazy when I see people getting things and after a hard day at work I have to wonder what bill will be paid this month and which one won't so that I can buy textbooks or pay fees. I think now that I'm older it doesn't frustrate me as much, but I added up the costs of GRE scores, application fees, and textbooks for this winter and in two months I've spent two months worth of my car payment... and so far I've got nothing to show for it! Hopefully I'll get accepted someplace great and everyone will buy me a free drink!!

perrykm - If you don't mind me asking, what kind of boots were they?

[wintergirl]

Dear self: Drunk posting to grad cafe? Really??

The things this process drives us to...

How are my other 0%'s holding up today?

I added up the costs of GRE scores, application fees, and textbooks for this winter and in two months I've spent two months worth of my car payment... and so far I've got nothing to show for it!

This. It's like vinegar in the wound. (I forked over three months' rent to feel like this?)

Edited February 10, 2012 by bespeckled

[cquin]

I actually feel better that I'm not a crazy lunatic for crying over shoes.

Oh, pleeeease. This is GradCafe! I was drunkenly watching Gossip Girl the other night and when Blair just decides, LOL, going to transfer from NYU to Columbia now, I was pretty much screaming at my TV about how unfair and unrealistic it is. If that's not lunacy, I don't know what it is.

[poeteer]

Yeah, I'd cry over "boots," too. Firstly because I love a good pair of boots like hell. Secondly because it's not really about the boots -- it's about working hard to make the little money you have, then seeing it disappear without guarantee of any return on it. Consider that it's about $160 to take the GRE and about the same to take the Subject Test -- that's two pairs of good boots, or one pair of Frye boots! For me, that's half my rent for a month. And that's only GRE registration -- what about sending the scores to extra schools, paying application fees (some of them $80+), sending transcripts? Rejections after that are tough to handle, especially if you haven't been accepted anywhere first. It makes me nauseous to think how much money I spent on this endeavor. It feels almost as if I gambled it away in Vegas. This is why it drives me crazy that schools require the Lit test. Because it's such a dumb test, they barely seem to consider it, and I could have bought groceries for a month with that money... not cool.

[seafoam]

Dear self: Drunk posting to grad cafe? Really??

The things this process drives us to...

How are my other 0%'s holding up today?

This. It's like vinegar in the wound. (I forked over three months' rent to feel like this?)

This. I'll be more upset about all the wasted money (including 3,000 Kaplan course) than having to actually wait another year and reapply.

[jma310]

Boots are worth a good cry, lest anyone think they're not!

[HaruNoKaze]

I think when I was a kid I though people in New York/tri-state area really lead lives like THAT. Like there was something inherently better than being from the south. And I was all like, "damn Yankees" at the TV screen, watching Boston Legal or Felicity. Now I'm an adult and I've realized New York isn't all privledged and fantastic, the snow scares me, but then when I read about some of the regulars from New York area getting accepted... there is a little part of me that still says "damn Yankees!"

[TripWillis]

I think when I was a kid I though people in New York/tri-state area really lead lives like THAT. Like there was something inherently better than being from the south. And I was all like, "damn Yankees" at the TV screen, watching Boston Legal or Felicity. Now I'm an adult and I've realized New York isn't all privledged and fantastic, the snow scares me, but then when I read about some of the regulars from New York area getting accepted... there is a little part of me that still says "damn Yankees!"

If it makes you feel any better, I'm originally from a one-horse town in rural Michigan. And I am not particularly fond of New York.

[Grunty DaGnome]

I think when I was a kid I though people in New York/tri-state area really lead lives like THAT. Like there was something inherently better than being from the south. And I was all like, "damn Yankees" at the TV screen, watching Boston Legal or Felicity. Now I'm an adult and I've realized New York isn't all privledged and fantastic, the snow scares me, but then when I read about some of the regulars from New York area getting accepted... there is a little part of me that still says "damn Yankees!"

I have alot of friends in Germany that think all of America is like living in New York as shown on TV. Friends, Sex in the City, all that. New York is nothing like it looks on TV.

Boston really is just like onTV, though -- especially the law firms.

[TripWillis]

Oh, pleeeease. This is GradCafe! I was drunkenly watching Gossip Girl the other night and when Blair just decides, LOL, going to transfer from NYU to Columbia now, I was pretty much screaming at my TV about how unfair and unrealistic it is. If that's not lunacy, I don't know what it is.

Yeah, I think I read about that plotline somewhere and then thought back to my 0/3 applications to MFA programs and it made me want to kill the creator of that show.

[TripWillis]

I think from now on if either I or anyone else gets an acceptance, they should post this video:

[MichaelK]

I think from now on if either I or anyone else gets an acceptance, they should post this video:

That's just about the best acceptance clip possible. As for the anxious, repeatedly checking e-mail clip...

[fredngeorge]

I am so jealous of happy for Timshel, TripWillis, Marlowe, cquin, Woolfie, and the many others who have been acepted so far. Congrats! And I'm seriously rooting for those who haven't heard back yet: this means you Lolopixie and Bespeckled!

I am, however, still living (my guess is permanently) in this thread. I just can't shake the feeling that I'm doomed..... yet again I've already received one official rejection, and I've now seen acceptances and waitlists pop up for the one school where I seriously believed I had the best shot (this was my third application to said school, and I was waitlisted last year with positive feedback on my app -- this year, nothing....). That one waitlist (the closest I've come to success in six years of this nonsense and a grand total of four application seasons) was the only thing that had given me hope that I would eventually stand a chance somewhere. To me, that waitlist translated into hope that maybe all my past rejections could be put down to bad timing, bad luck, or a combination of both. And while I by no means saw it as an indicator that I was any kind of sure thing at that same school, I was secretly at least hoping for a slightly more personal rejection -- I've spoken relatively extensively with some of these people, and they know who I am -- Is a short e-mail explaining that the competition was especially stiff this year too much to ask? I guess so. Maybe my app and I aren't so memorable after all. I have spent the last week just kicking myself that I have let myself get my hopes up year after year. Seriously, I think I have some kind of chronic optimism condition that allows me to delude myself into repeating exercises in futility ad infinitum. I'm considering hiring someone to beat it out of me. The rejections get harder to take every time -- I've pretty much never felt lower. I've just wrapped so much of my life at this point around this process that I don't know what else to do. I've done my share of crying. I guess tonight I'll do my share of drinking.

[TripWillis]

That's just about the best acceptance clip possible. As for the anxious, repeatedly checking e-mail clip...

This was my video for submitting an application: