The Silence is Killing Me!

[Metapod]

Agreed. I got rejected from only one school so far and it upset me a little, but they gotta do what they gotta do and so do I. I keep it moving and wait for the next. Thick skin is not something that justs happens, it will take some time to learn to be composed in those situations.

All I need is one school to let me in (hopefully many won't know until later this month early march) and I will show them why I am a great choice for their school up front.

Another thing, some girl was talking about how she has all these choices and feels bad because she is "taking" people's slots. She was blowing hot air out her a**. I was so upset that people like to rub their success in someones faces and try to mask it as being concerned. She is one of those "romantics" of academia. All people want me...blah blah blah. I think that is the worst part of waiting is hearing people act like they know it all when they got in somewhere. People like that make me sick.

I had a friend who used to sigh whenever people were around her. Naturally, we would ask her, "What's wrong?" Then, she would reply,"Oh, I don't know what to do. I got into Harvard and Princeton, but like I don't know which one to go to. I mean...it's like Harvard and Princeton, you know."

Five minutes later, she's having this same conversation like 10 meters away. Freaking wanted to throw my apple at her face.

[bgreenster]

The way that I see it, I want to be in a place that wants me and sees me as a top choice, not a backup, the same way that I want to be with someone who sees me as a dream mate rather than something that they settled for. The analogy has nothing to do with whether something is personal or business, nor does an analogy to a romantic analogy mean that I am being "romantic;" I made the analogy because the same "pecking order" is often involved.

You might excuse/accept waitlists et al. as "reality," but such things are only a reality b/c people accept them. I actually think that schools should not be able to waitlist candidates; you either accept or reject but you don't leave people hanging on, the same as you shouldn't do that in other relationships, be they personal or business.

As far as waitlists et al. go, if you want to accept a spot after being on a waitlist, that is your prerogative. However, at the moment, my top choice school is the one that contacted me first and sees me as one of their top choices rather than a backup.

I definitely understand this sentiment, because who doesn't want to be the first choice? But just like a good relationship can come out of something with a guy/girl you weren't attracted to at first, you can still have a great experience at a school that wait-listed you. I went to my undergrad university after getting in off the waitlist, and while it hurt not to be in the first round of choices, I was just as happy to get accepted AND I received the same education as those who got in before me. Bruised ego aside, what matters is where you feel is the best fit and which school can help you pursue your career the best.

[kazoo]

The way that I see it, I want to be in a place that wants me and sees me as a top choice, not a backup, the same way that I want to be with someone who sees me as a dream mate rather than something that they settled for. The analogy has nothing to do with whether something is personal or business, nor does an analogy to a romantic analogy mean that I am being "romantic;" I made the analogy because the same "pecking order" is often involved.

You might excuse/accept waitlists et al. as "reality," but such things are only a reality b/c people accept them. I actually think that schools should not be able to waitlist candidates; you either accept or reject but you don't leave people hanging on, the same as you shouldn't do that in other relationships, be they personal or business.

As far as waitlists et al. go, if you want to accept a spot after being on a waitlist, that is your prerogative. However, at the moment, my top choice school is the one that contacted me first and sees me as one of their top choices rather than a backup.

Bruised ego aside, what matters is where you feel is the best fit and which school can help you pursue your career the best.

I agree with bgreenster. I understand why being first choice is preferable but if you know from the start that there are more qualified people than there are spots available, there is nothing wrong with accepting your spot after being on the waitlist.

Once you are off the waitlist you are given the exact same opportunities as all the other students there, the playing field is level. (I was also waitlisted at my undergrad school) Relationships with schools, like with people, build over time, if I believe that a program is right for me I wouldnt hold a grunge against a school for not seeing that right away and choosing me as number 12 for 10 spots.

Its not a question of the school "settling", if the field you are applying to is a competitive one.

[oseirus]

I had a friend who used to sigh whenever people were around her. Naturally, we would ask her, "What's wrong?" Then, she would reply,"Oh, I don't know what to do. I got into Harvard and Princeton, but like I don't know which one to go to. I mean...it's like Harvard and Princeton, you know."

Five minutes later, she's having this same conversation like 10 meters away. Freaking wanted to throw my apple at her face.

forget the apple you should've just charged them and then delivered a beat down ... then throw the apple at them after you were done

[Starlajane]

I definitely understand this sentiment, because who doesn't want to be the first choice? But just like a good relationship can come out of something with a guy/girl you weren't attracted to at first, you can still have a great experience at a school that wait-listed you. I went to my undergrad university after getting in off the waitlist, and while it hurt not to be in the first round of choices, I was just as happy to get accepted AND I received the same education as those who got in before me. Bruised ego aside, what matters is where you feel is the best fit and which school can help you pursue your career the best.

I don't think that it's an issue of ego to not like being someone's second choice. Rather, it is about having a healthy self-esteem and respecting those who respect and appreciate you. Yes, a great relationship may come out of one with someone to whom you were not initially attracted, and that's actually the person/institution that I would rather be with instead of the one that is calling b/c others whom they considered better were not available. Do I really want to be what someone settled for? No, I don't. Hence, I would much rather be at a less prestigious school that accepts me right off the bat b/c I am one of their top choices than to get in off of the waitlist of an Ivy, the same as if I would rather be with a mate who is less attractive but who thinks of me as a knockout than the hot potential mate who calls b/c his A-list wasn't available. But that's just me.

However, it's also about the point that you addressed about being treated the same as a top choice candidate once you are in. It is refreshing to hear that, at the very least, if you are accepted off of the waitlist, you are treated like an A-lister.

[cacao to cacao]

Five minutes later, she's having this same conversation like 10 meters away. Freaking wanted to throw my apple at her face.

ew! rude.

*imagining apple exploding on her face.. in slow motion.

[maggieyyd]

dont worry, every soul is crushing...lol

[maklelan]

I applied to six spots (Near Eastern/Religious Studies) and have already been turned down for one. I haven't heard a word from any of the others, but shows things got rolling in this field in the middle and end of February last year, so I may have more time to wait.

[oseirus]

I don't think that it's an issue of ego to not like being someone's second choice. Rather, it is about having a healthy self-esteem and respecting those who respect and appreciate you. Yes, a great relationship may come out of one with someone to whom you were not initially attracted, and that's actually the person/institution that I would rather be with instead of the one that is calling b/c others whom they considered better were not available. Do I really want to be what someone settled for? No, I don't. Hence, I would much rather be at a less prestigious school that accepts me right off the bat b/c I am one of their top choices than to get in off of the waitlist of an Ivy, the same as if I would rather be with a mate who is less attractive but who thinks of me as a knockout than the hot potential mate who calls b/c his A-list wasn't available. But that's just me.

However, it's also about the point that you addressed about being treated the same as a top choice candidate once you are in. It is refreshing to hear that, at the very least, if you are accepted off of the waitlist, you are treated like an A-lister.

I would have to respectfully disagree with your sentiment but at the end of the day if you are happy with your choice who is anyone else to pooh-pooh that? Do what thou must.

[sansao]

Given everything that's happened in my life and during my undergrad career, I'll be completely content if I get waitlisted and then get in, or don't get in during the first round of evaluations. As long as I get in, I'll be able to pursue my interests aggressively, and that's sufficient for me. Personally, I don't expect to be the top choice, because I know there are issues with my application. At best, I can show them that while I may not be the top choice, that my admission was still the right choice. I plan on working very hard at wherever I end up, just out of gratitude that they were willing to work with me and all my issues to help me succeed. But this is just personal opinion. I can certainly see where both of you (Starlajane and oseirus) are coming from.

[sansao]

On a side note, my phone just rang when I was posting that, and I about jumped out of my skin. It was my dentist. Sigh.

[oseirus]

On a side note, my phone just rang when I was posting that, and I about jumped out of my skin. It was my dentist. Sigh.

this is becoming a psychological thriller

[Starlajane]

Given everything that's happened in my life and during my undergrad career, I'll be completely content if I get waitlisted and then get in, or don't get in during the first round of evaluations. As long as I get in, I'll be able to pursue my interests aggressively, and that's sufficient for me. Personally, I don't expect to be the top choice, because I know there are issues with my application. At best, I can show them that while I may not be the top choice, that my admission was still the right choice. I plan on working very hard at wherever I end up, just out of gratitude that they were willing to work with me and all my issues to help me succeed. But this is just personal opinion. I can certainly see where both of you (Starlajane and oseirus) are coming from.

Yeah, I'm definitely getting to the point where I am ready to cop an attitude with any school that waitlists me. Mind you, I wouldn't turn it down. But, just to maintain my self-respect, in the back of my mind I'm telling myself, "And now you're on my waitlist..." or "well, I don't want you if you don't want me; your loss, bozo" to any school that rejects me. If I didn't have this attitude, I would have blown my brains out a long time ago.

[oseirus]

Yeah, I'm definitely getting to the point where I am ready to cop an attitude with any school that waitlists me. Mind you, I wouldn't turn it down. But, just to maintain my self-respect, in the back of my mind I'm telling myself, "And now you're on my waitlist..." or "well, I don't want you if you don't want me; your loss, bozo" to any school that rejects me. If I didn't have this attitude, I would have blown my brains out a long time ago.

is this your first go-round applying?

[sansao]

So much for silence. The first rejection just arrived, and I'm not nearly as upset as I expected I would be. Probably the worst fit for me, not a lot of response from faculty at the POI, and I'm not shocked at all. Mildly disappointed that I wasn't able to muster a stronger application, but that's about it.

[MSW13]

is this your first go-round applying?

Did you apply last year? Do you know if there is any 'perk' to applying for the second time? That is, do you get credit for perseverance?? Hey, at this point where I will be shut out of all 3 of my choices, any sliver lining would be great

[Metapod]

ew! rude.

*imagining apple exploding on her face.. in slow motion.

lol. your comment actually made me laugh. I thought you were my friend from college for a second.

[oseirus]

Did you apply last year? Do you know if there is any 'perk' to applying for the second time? That is, do you get credit for perseverance?? Hey, at this point where I will be shut out of all 3 of my choices, any sliver lining would be great

I didn't apply last year but I started applying for a masters 8 years ago but due to some contractual obligations I was unable to pursue a masters at the time.

[Kitkat]

So much for silence. The first rejection just arrived, and I'm not nearly as upset as I expected I would be. Probably the worst fit for me, not a lot of response from faculty at the POI, and I'm not shocked at all. Mildly disappointed that I wasn't able to muster a stronger application, but that's about it.

I know how you feel. First response for me was a rejection as well, and it was about the same type of situation as well.

[sansao]

I know how you feel. First response for me was a rejection as well, and it was about the same type of situation as well.

Well, it's better for both of us to have that out of the way, I guess. I know geoscience programs can be highly specialized and it can be tricky to find a fit if you have specific research in mind. The rest of the programs to which I applied are much stronger in terms of fit and faculty correspondence. This has motivated me to clarify my plan B a little more, though.

[We regret to inform you]

i've applied to 5 planetary science programs and have heard nothing so far. 2 of them each have 1 acceptance posted on the results page.

I figure by the end of next week i'll send out some emails asking about my status. But, i'm thinking i've been rejected from those 2 that already have results. The other 3 seem to give out results from mid february to mid march, so i feel better about those.

Edited February 10, 2012 by We regret to inform you

[doubledotty]

I've gone from being rather chilled about my apps to totally freaking in the space of 24 hours. For the most part I blame my inability to leave things alone and not excessively research when I'm feeling mildly panicky. Yesterday I found the results survey, which informed me that acceptances for my program at Berkeley have already gone out. Today I spent a long time on the forums working out everything that I did wrong with my applications. I'm from a UK university, was advised to apply to the US fairly last minute (early November) and didn't get a whole lot of advice on how to go about everything, so just followed what I thought were clear online instructions and it turns out that pretty much every part of my application is not how you're actually meant to do it. A lot of the time that's because the teaching system in the UK isn't really set up for it, but some of it will just look like poor preparation. So I've gone from thinking that I have an outside to medium chance to knowing that I have no hope in hell I wish they'd stop giving me the silent treatment

[cacao to cacao]

lol. your comment actually made me laugh. I thought you were my friend from college for a second.

hehe good! I'm glad you got a laugh outta that!

in other news, i have a co-worker that keeps asking me if I've heard back... and she keeps getting the same answer.. a smile, a "nope, not yet" followed by a shrug followed by "we'll see!" acting all hopeful..

*sigh, TGIF!

Edited February 10, 2012 by cacao to cacao

[sansao]

i've applied to 5 planetary science programs and have heard nothing so far. 2 of them each have 1 acceptance posted on the results page.

I figure by the end of next week i'll send out some emails asking about my status. But, i'm thinking i've been rejected from those 2 that already have results. The other 3 seem to give out results from mid february to mid march, so i feel better about those.

I think I'd wait until March, personally. One acceptance could just be someone that a particular faculty member really wanted, or it could be fake. As much as I hate the waiting part of it, I'd rather wait it out for a while and see what happens.

[bythesea]

So I've gone from thinking that I have an outside to medium chance to knowing that I have no hope in hell I wish they'd stop giving me the silent treatment

Sorry to hear that, doubledotty. Hang in there - I know a little of what you feel - that unpleasant surprise when you find out, 'oh, THAT'S what I was supposed to do in my app.' But now you're a lot better informed, and if you choose to apply next year, you will have an awesome, compelling application!